Healing Abandonment Issues

This blog post is actually the second part in this series and was written that way, but since it was so long, I decided to split it up into two parts. To understand more on what this post is about, I would suggest that you read the blog post from April 18, 2013, Healing Abandonment Experiences.

I could go on about different experiences of abandonment that I have been through in my life, but these are the main ones.  They show in a broad manner what can happen.  However, it is the issue of how abandonment follows you through your entire life.  It is not something you can easily walk away from or ignore.  It permeates every relationship, every job, every social contact, and all parts of life.

In the post, I Have Abandonment Issues, from the blog Together We Heal, I was struck by one of the portions of text.  I would like to share this with you because I think it goes to the heart of what abandonment is all about.

For quite a long time, I had the false belief that “people always leave.” As a result, guess what, people around me often didn’t stick around for long, because I would pretty much act in a way that ensured they would not want to! It is hard to acknowledge, but we have to be straight about the role we play that leads us to re-create the experience of being abandoned over and over again. - Together We Heal Blog

Healing Abandonment Experiences

I was reading a WordPress blog that I stumbled into the other day and it really hit home.  It is a topic that I normally don't hear people talk that much about, let alone share it from their personal experience.  I've went through abandonment, maybe not like some people, but in a more covert way.  I'm not sure it makes any difference how it happened, as the effects are all the same.

Another story I remember beside my own was a roommate I had in college.  He was a very nice guy and seemed to get along great with people.  He had a great personality and was fun loving in nature.  I still remember the day when he and I were talking and he shared something very personal.  He told me that a social services worker had found him in a garbage can.  His own mother for reasons he did not know, left him in a garbage can.  He could have died.  I don't remember how young he was, but I think he was just a baby.

My story is not that dramatic as this roommate story is on abandonment.  However, what I went through was more covert and more subtle.  Yes, there was the time in the hospital when I was just a baby that my mom had to choose between being close to my father who had hepatitis or stay with me.  I'm sure it wasn't that she didn't want to be with me, but he had much more control over her and he was extremely insecure.  Of course, there is no way I can recollect this in my memory, but my body still feels it.