When Will I Be Healed

Sometimes I am asked a question by people, "how long will it take for me to be healed or when will I be healed or how long will recovery take?".

We have all probably asked that question in one form or another and for each person in each situation, it is different. No two people are alike and no two situations are alike.

So I sat down and wrote a response to a person who asked this and after I did this, I realized that it is something I needed to share here.

For me, my recovery began when I was paralyzed in 1991. And it had moments where I was speeding through it and other moments where I said, leave me the F alone! Than, I went into a very deep depression after one of my memories finally came into clear view and I knew it was time to go back and start working on things. I made a lot of progress during this time.

Of course, I took some more time off as the healing work was just too intense. However, after my mom died and life seemed so upside down to me, I began to work on things and actually went to massage school where the issue of "physical touch" became my next excruciating layer of healing. Fortunately, I found Dr. Paul Canali who has helped me release so much trauma from my body in a way that didn't overwhelm me (for the most part).

And actually for the first time in my life, I feel like Dr. Canali and I have made it to a point in my healing where I'm in control of my life instead of the abuse being in control of me. A little over a month ago in a session, a freight train load of anger came out in me and I felt horrible at the time, but after that, I noticed a change in myself that I had never known. I'm able to deal with life, stress and regular moments in a different way than I've ever been able to do before. I turned a big corner and things are so different now. In fact, I'm beginning to do things for my self and my career that will take me forward. Up until now, they were only fleeting thoughts.

When I look back, the times that I stopped to rest from all the healing work, these times were just as important as the times I jumped head into it. It was all part of the process. I'm sure I'm not done by any means but the charge of what happened is less and less each day. And I'm at a point where I want to keep peeling the layers of my life back so I can really and truly discover who I am. Personally, I'm just not content with where I'm at.

The biggest thing I learned was even though it gets tough, don't stop - keep going! There's some country song that says "If you're going through hell - Keep on going, don't slow down. To that, I would say "EXACTLY"!

And make sure you give yourself a little time to rest along the way.

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