Fear Of The Dentist, Part 1

**Note: For full details please read PART 2 and PART 3 **

After sitting with so much pain, I knew I had to find a dentist and make an appointment. While that may not sound too difficult, just the act of doing this is very rough for me. I am so afraid of most doctors and dentists. It is a deep rooted and highly emotional fear for me. It is a major anxiety for me.

At least I'm able to ask for more of what I need these days. Like yesterday, when I was on the phone, I asked the receptionist how gentle the dentist was. I then went on to share just how frightened I was to come in. The lady was so compassionate on the phone which helped me immensely. Hopefully the dentist is just as compassionate.

When I hung up the phone, I was fighting back the tears and struggling to hold myself together. It seems strange to me that I would react this way because I do not understand what is going on inside of myself. All I know is that it is a highly, charged, emotional thing for me.

I'm sure I will discover more about this as I go if I just allow things to unfold. However, all of this is exhausting and so frightening. I feel so much shame in anything related to my teeth or mouth. It is an intense shame, an emotional shame and a violent shame.

The only other thing that keeps appearing in my mind which seems somehow connected is events from my past. So what's new, I want to interject here! The events I remember watching are of my two brothers getting their mouths washed out with soap. This was done if they lied or said a bad word and who knows, it might have been done for other reasons to. I cannot remember what they did to deserve this punishment, but I can remember witnessing these violent events and hearing the screams. It was almost as if it was meant for others to observe the punishment. The strange this is, I don't ever remember getting the same punishment while I know my two brothers received this several times.

Part of me is suspicious that somehow I have blocked some horrible, violent events out of my view. I'm suspicious that somehow I would be spared this punishment. If it did not happen to me, it would be outside the norm of how my family behaved. What was usually done to one person was usually done to each person. There was no escaping it. I just don't remember it though, other than what I witnessed.

Why I am only thinking about these things right now as the tooth pain increases, I have no idea. But I do feel a strong sense of shame, sadness and fear. And as difficult as all of this is, I am trying hard to just allow it and do the things I need to do to help move through this, release it and support myself.

Stay tuned though - I have a feeling this is only part 1. If I'm strong enough, I'll keep sharing this as it unfolds. For now, I really need the love, support and strength from the angels. For it feels like a lonely path that I trod.



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Pain, It Does A Body Good

Pain scares me as it does most humans. it often leads us to think that there is something wrong or abnormal about ourselves. In conjunction with fear, it can create doomsday scenarios in our mind. It can alter reality to the point that we barely recognize life in the way that it actually appears.

Yet, pain is a messenger. It is something that lets us know there is a situation that needs our attention. Just like there are warning flags at the beach, so is pain a warning flag to our lives. It is something to get our attention and get us to acknowledge our bodies, instead of ignoring them.

All too often, we want to avoid the pain. This is so understandable because it sometimes becomes very hard to live with. Pain affects our day, our mood and our quality of life. We usually strive to flee from it through medication, surgeries and procedures. We even use alternative health procedures to stimulate, treat or wish it away. Yet, in the end, have we really gotten rid of the pain or have we just masked it so much that we don't recognize it? Does it just return a few days or weeks or years later? Does it morph into something else that becomes the new face of our pain?

Fear is a big motivator in the desire to not feel pain whether we consciously connect to it or not. Fear is a strong force that can alter the view of how we see pain, how we feel it and how it shows up. Fear can make pain appear as being much harder to give up and let go than it really is. I'm not talking about theory either. I have faced some horrible pains and fears in my own life. I've been there, done that and got way too many t-shirts as souvenirs.

To try to avoid or ignore the pain is the same as letting fear talk you into ignoring the messages coming from the body. Yes, it would seem to be that relief from pain is the right thing to do. However, you're hiding valuable messages the body and mind are sending you.

There are times when some pain relief is needed to help us hear the messages more clearly and take care of ourselves. If we however, look to medications, surgeries, and alternative health treatments to give us our reasons for the pain, we are only letting fear fool us. There is a time and a place for different treatment methods but only if we do these in a consciously connected way with our mind, body and soul.

If you really want to get at the source of your pain, you need to feel it more - not less. Yes, it may hurt and it may be difficult to do that, but by doing this, you are able to travel deep to the source of the pain. Remember, fear is very deceptive and it alters how we feel, view, sense and understand pain.

By going into the pain through the fear, we get the opportunity to take back our power and heal parts of our life that were untouchable before. We give ourselves the moment to grow and evolve in consciousness, so we can make different choices for our life. It gives us the ability to heal our body in ways we can barely imagine. It makes us more human. It helps us discover and reclaim more of who we are.

I'm not going to state that it is easy to do this. However with courage, we all have the ability to stand up to our fears, take on our pain and discover the wisdom waiting for our life. No person, treatment or thought can do that for us. This must come from within. After all, this ability is in all of us and it has always been there. May we search our lives and find it.


*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Matisyahu - One Day

I just learned about this video and song and really love the words, music and performance for it. It is a perfect song for today, July 4th - Independence Day! You may have already heard this but if not, please listen to it. I have displayed the lyrics below to the song/video that I found here.

For more at the music of Matisyahu, go to his website http://www.matisyahuworld.com/

To see the lyrics -

Lyrics to the Song/Video: One Day - by Matisyahu

sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day x4
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog