Vulnerability At The Dentist Office

Last week, I had a big dose of vulnerability that wasn't easy to handle.  Whenever events like this happen, I'm always reminded of Brene Brown's talks on vulnerability.  It never seems like it is easy to be in this place and the emotions run high from moments like this.

In one of the last episodes of the Glee Project, their subject was vulnerability.  You could see some of the pain in each person as they experienced moments of vulnerability.  It wasn't easy for them and I'm sure took a lot out of them emotionally.

My latest experience was at the dentist office.  If you have read my blog post for some time you will see that I've endured some pretty rough moments at the dentist office and to read past blog posts on the dentist, click here.  Last week I had to go into the dentist because my denture that I wear, broke in two pieces.  It was not an option as the only way I could wear it, was to get it fixed and without it, everyone would be able to notice it was missing.

It is always a challenge to make an appointment and walk in the door.  The past trauma I have been through that is connected to this denture is almost unbearable.  The emotions of shame and sadness come to the forefront and are stronger than a bulldozer pushing a mountain.  On top of this, financial constraints made this a nightmare because I knew just how expensive of a situation I was facing.

Child Abuse Survivors and Dental Fear

I didn't realize how much of an issue this was for many folks out there until I wrote about it.  Yes, if you have read my earlier posts on my issues with the dentist, then you will know how much dental fear I have as a child abuse survivor.

It is not easy for those that have been through trauma and torture to deal with dental fear.  No matter what I do, its still not easy.  I avoid the dentist like a poison that is gushing out of the sink.  I don't want to be anywhere close to it.

Most dentists don't care from what I've found if you have dental fear and anxiety.  Many will say they do, but they think after the first visit, all that will gone.  It is frustrating beyond belief.  I have had only two dentists that I really trust and unfortunately I live too many miles from them to go back now.

I'll never forget the one dentist who treated me and then a follow up visit, acted as if there was something wrong with me because I still had dental fear and anxiety.  Another one proceeded to make me feel pretty bad for not taking care of my teeth.  Another wanted me to go to a teeth cleaning and I thought I had found a hygienist that I connected with and trusted.  Unfortunately, the person had to be out for the day and instead of the dentist office letting me know, they assumed that I would go to the next hygienist they had on staff.

When you've been beaten, held down into a bed where you couldn't breathe and had sexual things shoved into your mouth and raped, you don't trust anyone.  I could get more graphic if I thought that would wake some dentists up.  My body was tortured and the last thing I want to do is allow anyone to have control over me and inflict pain upon me.  My anxiety begins the minute I have to start thinking about seeing a dentist and doesn't stop until there are no more visits.

I am glad there is a site called DentalFear.com and that someone is addressing this issue, because it is a big issue for many people.  They have some great information on their site which I've actually used (long before I found their site) and it does help.  It doesn't completely take care of the dental fear and anxiety for me, but it helps.

For me, I always have someone I trust in the room with me.  I take my headphones with a playlist on my ipod and play it.  I close my eyes and ask that they put something over my eyes to shield me from the light because the light really bothers me.  I'm very sensitive to light.

It helps if the dentist is understanding and empathetic who listens and takes their time.  Just trying to see how fast you can go is not good for me, because I need a rest and a break.  I need to be coached to remember to breathe and breathe deeper and slowly, because I often forget that.  Fear and anxiety are not friends of proper breathing.

I know my dental health isn't good and it embarrasses me, but until I find the right dentist and then have the necessary income, there's not much I can do about that.  Maybe there is a dentist out there that would work with me, but after several, I've given up hope that I will find one.

I'll gladly help any dentist understand what it is for me to go through a visit to a dentist office.  I believe there are probably some things that could be done to help those of us who struggle to do this.  We may all have to think outside the box, but there is a significant population who are suffering and have no one to turn to for proper teeth care.  The dental fear and anxiety is just too great.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Dental Anxiety and Teeth Brushing

Written By Don Shetterly

I've got a feeling I'm not the only one out there struggling with this issue.  In fact, I know others that have admitted this to me.  If you've followed me for some time, you've probably seen that I struggle with dental anxiety.

Now, I'm not just talking about being a little afraid of going to the dentist.  I'm referring to full on anxiety attacks in just making an appointment.  For me to pick up the phone, that's when the anxiety at full speed.  Getting into the dentist office is nothing short of running 20 marathons in a single minute.

One of the things I truly struggle with is anytime anyone puts anything in my mouth like the dentist.  I freak out.  I freeze.  My body literally goes into such a fear response that it becomes very rigid.  I'm so frustrated with this and I put off much needed work until it got so bad I had not choice but to go in and struggle with my fears.

A dentist I've found close to me is very good about working with me.  I do use some medication to help me get in the door and I have a trusted friend with me at all times.  In fact, my friend is the one that makes the appointments and handles anything over the phone on this, because I just can't bring myself to do this part.

One of the things I've noticed in myself about dental anxiety is how difficult it is to brush my teeth.  I grew up doing this every day, but when the memories of abuse triggered me so much, it was an all out battle to get myself to brush my teeth.

Now, I have noticed that just to insert the toothbrush into my mouth is triggering beyond any words I could write here.  Of course, this compounds the problem.  I'm pushing myself to brush my teeth now, but it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I do.

I just want people to be aware of this, especially dentists.  Some of us struggle so hard and while we try to trust the professionals, it is not easy.  As I said, it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I go for a dentist appointment.  My dentist is great and works with me, but no matter what, I feel that trigger.  My body feels it.  My body reacts to it.

Even writing about this is difficult and I can feel the anxiety and heat rise within me.  It is not a simple trigger to me.  I'd so love to get beyond it and be able to go to the dentist office like normal people do.  I hate this part about life because it is exhausting and overwhelming.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Hiding From The Dentist

Okay, get ready, get set - where did he go?  If anyone has seen Don, please send him to the car.  His dentist appointment awaits.  Paging Don - Paging Don!  He's nowhere to be found.  Can you blame him though?  Its the dentist after all!

I don't care how many times I go through this and how many things I do, I'm as frightened of the dentist as someone would be if they were jumping out of a 747 jumbo jet with no parachute at 30,000 feet.  Get the feeling?  Now you've got an inclination of just how difficult this is for me.

I'm trying.  I am trying.  I hopefully have found a better dentist that actually cares and is compassionate unlike the last one that gave lip service to the concept.  I have tried to put some boundaries in place and only had them look at my first visit without doing any work.

While I hate medication of any type, this is the one time I will take something to help me with the anxiety.  I'd like to think I'm strong enough without, but see me hiding behind the door.  Does that prove my point?

Fear Of The Dentist, Part 3

**Note: For full details please read PART 1 and PART 2 **

Today I made it.

Today I did it.

Without any xanax, I managed to get myself into the dentist office and into the chair and allow them to take x-rays and examine me.

Sure, I know there are many people who think, hey I can do that. What’s the big deal? The big deal is that I suffer from an intense fear of going to the dentist. That previous statement was a big understatement. For the fear, is much worse than I can even describe here. When the dentist asked me what my fear of coming in there was, I replied without hesitation and told him it begins when I try to walk in the door and make an appointment. The procedures are just more layers of anxiety that I have to deal with.

However, today I didn’t pass out and I didn’t hide. I faced myself and my fears and went in there. I asked for what I needed and explained what the very difficult moments were for me. And I breathed and I breathed and tried to stay focused even through the tears flowing from my eyes. Fortunately, everyone was very supportive and compassionate but by the time I was ready to leave, it felt like I was in a furnace reaching well over 1000 degrees. It was time to exit stage left.

I wish it was a simple fear that I could just easily let go of. However, to walk in to the dentist office and surrender to the will of what someone needs to do to you is frightening beyond belief for me. I’m very sensitive anyway, so a little bit of discomfort or pain is enough to push me over the top. You throw on top of that, someone putting objects or their fingers in my mouth and now you’ve triggered memories that have haunted me since I can barely remember.
Anytime something is put in my mouth, it feels as if someone is “STUFFING” something in there and forcing it in which I don’t want. If you suffered childhood sexual abuse, you will most likely understand what I’m referring to. If you haven’t suffered through this, use your imagination a little and you will quickly see why I’m so afraid of these things. When I first got my partial plate several years ago, it was all I could do to put it in my mouth and keep it in there without almost gagging and choking to death. Of course, I’m sure there is more to this story but when you’re so young and when your memory doesn’t process things well, all you’re left with is the horrors you are forced to face.

Several years ago, when I finally faced the courage to do major reconstructive work on my teeth, I faced insurmountable fears of just walking into the dentist office. One of the things that I did to help me get there, even with the use of xanax, was playing some of my favorite songs. The song that helped me the most was “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty. In it, the words state, “you can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won’t back down”. In my mind, that sums it up pretty good.

While the remaining procedure is still yet to be completed, I’m glad that I made it through as much as I did today. It was a difficult day and I’m feeling very exhausted. However, I’m quite proud of myself for what I accomplished today. And I can only close this part of my process with the thoughts of the “Fear Poem” by Joy Harjo, an inspirational piece of poetry to put fear in perspective.

And just writing this 1 page piece, I feel that furnace of a thousand degrees. The room has become very warm. Hello Anxiety - so we meet again today.



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

When Pain Gets Your Attention

Written By Don Shetterly

Sometimes,  I don't always listen or heed what I write sometimes.  I'm no different than anyone else after all.  I'm merely human too.  Yes, I'm admitting it.  Yes, we humans don't always practice fully what we preach, but it doesn't stop any of us from preaching it!

For some time now I've been having extreme pain in my teeth.  In fact, I had gotten to the point where I didn't really notice most of it.  That is until it got so bad.  We can go for a time ignoring and numbing pain in our life, but when it gets too bad, that is when the pain gets your attention.

It Is A Paralyzing Fear...

I have written about my dental anxiety and fear many times on this blog.  Regardless, each time I go into a dentist office or attempt to make an appointment, it is the same intense fear that I encounter.  It is a paralyzing fear.  It is the point where I convince myself that I can put this off.  When the pain finally gets my attention, I realize I cannot ignore it any longer.

For some time, I've used some homeopathy remedies to help, and while they helped, they didn't solve the issue.  I needed to go get things taken care of, but I used the remedies to further disconnect myself from it and let the fear win.  I still remember the nasty dude on social media that instead of being helpful, he came at me with a vengeance because of how I was dealing with the teeth issues.  I still marvel at how people who think they have the answers will bash someone in the head if they don't agree.  That's another story for another time.

Pain Over Powered The Anxiety...

Anyway, when the pain got so intense, it over powered the fear and anxiety I had.  There was no going back.  There was no second guessing it.  The pain was far more intense and challenging than the anxiety, and that's a big statement!

Fortunately, I've found a dentist that cares and is kind and gentle.  I explained that my difficulty is because of the torture and child sexual abuse I went through as a kid.  Making an appointment to see the dentist invokes intense anxiety in me.  Walking in the door is monumental.  Getting an x-ray feels like I'm being tortured and abused leaving me in a state of panic where I can hardly breathe.

I know a ton of stuff about relaxation and staying connected.  I know and practice many things including breathing, but there is nothing that prepares me for dental experiences.  I hate taking medications of any type, but in this case, I will take the happy little pill that takes the edge off of the anxiety and fear.  It is the only way I can get in the door for dental procedures.

With the intense pain that was getting my attention, I saw just how physically exhausting it is.  It almost consumes and takes over my body at times.  It alters how I view myself and the world around me.  Sometimes though, it feels like this is normal to my body and even with all the work I've been through, at times I forget it isn't.

The dentist told me before I left her office that I deserve to be pain-free.  You know, I had not thought about that until that moment.  I've learned to live with the pain of being tortured and abused and sometimes it is easy to forget, that I don't have to live with it.  I can choose differently.

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Fear Of The Dentist, Part 1

**Note: For full details please read PART 2 and PART 3 **

After sitting with so much pain, I knew I had to find a dentist and make an appointment. While that may not sound too difficult, just the act of doing this is very rough for me. I am so afraid of most doctors and dentists. It is a deep rooted and highly emotional fear for me. It is a major anxiety for me.

At least I'm able to ask for more of what I need these days. Like yesterday, when I was on the phone, I asked the receptionist how gentle the dentist was. I then went on to share just how frightened I was to come in. The lady was so compassionate on the phone which helped me immensely. Hopefully the dentist is just as compassionate.

When I hung up the phone, I was fighting back the tears and struggling to hold myself together. It seems strange to me that I would react this way because I do not understand what is going on inside of myself. All I know is that it is a highly, charged, emotional thing for me.

I'm sure I will discover more about this as I go if I just allow things to unfold. However, all of this is exhausting and so frightening. I feel so much shame in anything related to my teeth or mouth. It is an intense shame, an emotional shame and a violent shame.

The only other thing that keeps appearing in my mind which seems somehow connected is events from my past. So what's new, I want to interject here! The events I remember watching are of my two brothers getting their mouths washed out with soap. This was done if they lied or said a bad word and who knows, it might have been done for other reasons to. I cannot remember what they did to deserve this punishment, but I can remember witnessing these violent events and hearing the screams. It was almost as if it was meant for others to observe the punishment. The strange this is, I don't ever remember getting the same punishment while I know my two brothers received this several times.

Part of me is suspicious that somehow I have blocked some horrible, violent events out of my view. I'm suspicious that somehow I would be spared this punishment. If it did not happen to me, it would be outside the norm of how my family behaved. What was usually done to one person was usually done to each person. There was no escaping it. I just don't remember it though, other than what I witnessed.

Why I am only thinking about these things right now as the tooth pain increases, I have no idea. But I do feel a strong sense of shame, sadness and fear. And as difficult as all of this is, I am trying hard to just allow it and do the things I need to do to help move through this, release it and support myself.

Stay tuned though - I have a feeling this is only part 1. If I'm strong enough, I'll keep sharing this as it unfolds. For now, I really need the love, support and strength from the angels. For it feels like a lonely path that I trod.



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Barely Made It To The Dentist

I had the tooth extracted the other day and boy was that not fun.  They had a heck of a time getting it to come out.  I went to another dentist (female) than the previous one a couple of years ago.  At least she is more compassionate.  At one point during the procedure, I was struggling to stay in the moment.  I knew I was getting close to passing out and was trying to focus on my breathing.

Finally I took my hands and made a time out signal and she stopped.  All the time, I was asking my angels to help me.  As soon as she stopped, I was hyperventilating but I was able to slow my own breathing down.  After a few minutes, she began again and within a couple of minutes the tooth came out and it was all over. 

Boy these things trigger me so much on so many levels from early days to the time in the hospital with the paralysis. 

Then I came home and the pain has been tough to deal with.  It wiped me out more than I expected.  I had people calling me and I was short and unhelpful because I wasn't feeling good and it hurt to talk.

The day before yesterday, I went into the deep dark place where I don't want to go and I knew I was there.  The triggers of emotions were overwhelming in this.  I started to contact a friend, but quit (all part of that spiral process for me).  So I once again asked my angels to help pull me back up.

Fainting From More Than Needles

For background information, you may want to read the previous blog post, "Fainting At The Sight Of Needles posted on June 9, 2011.

For me, it is more than just needles that makes me faint and pass out. Often, it is perceived pain long before any pain or procedure might take place. Just writing this is enough that I can feel my anxiety level is very high. It does not even have to be something I experience but someone close to me that is going to experience a procedure.

I remember my father telling me that when he was younger, he would pass out easily. It wasn’t until he went through a time where he got so angry and screamed and yelled that it began to change. I’m not sure he was ever cured and I do know that he found other ways to take his anxiety and fear out, rather than passing out.

To someone that says “Man up!” or just get over it, this phobia is not that easy to deal with. It isn’t like I sit there waiting for the room to get warm and the lights to begin going dark. It isn’t like I think about it as I try hard not to think about it. Fortunately though, I have not fainted for several years which is in part because of the intense healing work I’ve done on myself and learning how to manage this better.

For me, I’ve learned how to go in and really become one with myself, including all my fears, pains, hurts and traumas in life. It has not been an easy process. While going through some of these sessions with Dr. Paul Canali, I’ve often experienced feeling like I was going to faint or pass out on the table. It has been a frequent occurrence that we have had to work with. Dr. Canali has learned how to work with me to take me to the edge of this feeling and then back me off from it. My nervous system is no longer revved up with a pulse rate of 99 (see blog post April 1, 2010) and above constantly since going through this healing work. That in itself has allowed me to handle more situations and not faint or pass out.

One situation though that is still extremely difficult is that of going to the dentist. (see blog post of 07/06/10). I do take a sedative so I can get into the dentist office but the thought of scheduling an appointment is enough to make me faint. If I don’t faint, the anxiety and heart rate skyrocket! Hopefully there will come a day for me where I can do something as simple as booking an appointment to the dentist without having to take a sedative.

For a continuation of this topic, read the next blog post on June 11, 2011, Helpful Tips For Fainting.

Further Reading:
1) Afraid Of Needles? Why Some Faint At The Very Sight (MSNBC)
2) Fainting At The Sight Of Needles (June 9, 2011)
3) Helpful Tips For Fainting (June 11, 2011)
4) Fear Of The Dentist (July 6, 2010)
5) Living As A Highly Sensitive Person (Jan 20, 2011)




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Embrace The Pain - Part 1

At one time, I could not stand any type of body pain, and I'm sure most people probably do not like body pain either. However, I have learned through some intense healing work with Dr. Canali, that pain is a messenger of the body. It is there for a reason and if we embrace the body pain, we can move toward a greater awareness and consciousness.

Pain is a feedback mechanism from the body and the mind to our consciousness that tells us something needs our attention. If I allow myself to work with the pain and to embrace the pain, it will find its way out, as long as I don't stop it by my fears and unwillingness to let go of what is trying to surface. It is just not productive to focus on wanting to get rid of the pain.

Pain is not present in my life every day but when it comes up, I try to listen to it because it is a messenger. Most people live with pain every day but are not even aware of it in their body. They are not able to see this part but it impacts their life in dramatic ways.

Many times when doing massage work, I have seen first hand the times that people were in deep pain but they just did not feel it. The majority of humans are numb to what they feel, or so overwhelmed by all the pain that the felt sense has been blocked because it can no longer take in everything that is going on. It isn't until some focus is put on the body and the body is listened to that they feel it. Then once they feel it, they have a chance to choose whether to try to ignore it or learn from it. That is the awareness.

For instance, if I get a headache, which is rare these days, it moves through pretty quickly if I just allow myself to be with my body. Allowing myself to feel it, learn from it, question it or just become curious of what I am feeling gives me the ability to move through the headache or the pain. Just like the neck pain that I experienced recently, because I was not listening to my body to get myself away from the computer, and stretching or taking care of myself. The pain forced me to listen even though I did not want to and when I started to listen, I began to dissipate the pain.

Last summer was another example but in this one, I tried to avoid the pain and numb myself to it. I had a tooth that was causing enormous pain, and each night I would go to bed with an ice pack on my face to dull the pain and allow me to sleep. The pain would come back in the middle of the night, but I would just suffer through it. For if I wanted to deal with the pain, it meant that I had to tackle a fear I have of the dentist. This is not an ordinary fear, either, but one that is very powerful. (read Fear Of Dentist from July 6, 2010) It was not until the pain got so intense that I had no other choice but to go in to the dentist, and get the work done which was needed.

That is a simplified example of numbing one's self out to pain, but when pain comes up (if we can feel it), we are better to walk hand in hand with it rather than try to hope it goes away. Pain is a messenger. It is there for a reason.

I remember a few clients that I have had where doing massage on them, I would feel a back or neck or shoulder so tense that a table top would be more pliable than their body. Yet, the people did not even realize that it was this tense or that they were in as much pain as they were. I remember one lady who had a twisted back, and did not realize that the way she was sitting at her desk was twisting her back into daily pain for her to deal with. There are so many examples that I could list here, but I am amazed at just how much we do not sense in these bodies that we inhabit for many years, and we come to know as our lives.

In my own life, I have had many times when I didn't really feel anything and yet that was what I needed to do to move forward in my life. It was easier, I thought, to avoid it rather than deal with it. However, at some point, even though we try to avoid these things in our life, the body will get our attention. Once I did begin to feel it and started to embrace it, I opened myself up to a deeper awareness that is grounded in the body. It isn't just a thought or philosophy, but one that when you feel it in your body, you know without a doubt that you've touched something.

In fact, in 1991, my mind began paralyzing my body as a way to numb myself from so many horrors and pains that I faced. My life reached a point where not only could I not feel a pin being put at the bottom of my feet, but I could barely talk, sit up, move my arms, or function. My brain was shutting my body down because I was not dealing with things in life that I had to deal with. In my case, it was child abuse, but the more I tried to hide the emotions and effects of it, the more I numbed and shut down my own body. The condition the doctors labeled my experience with was a conversion disorder.

Our bodies do store memories and the cells remember things. As one therapist I used to work with said, "there are issues in the tissues!" Trauma, stress, and many other things are stored in the body with a connection to the mind. Treating the mind is only half of the healing equation. Treating the body connected to the mind is healing that moves ourselves into a greater consciousness and awareness. These are all things that I have gone through personally and experienced on the table with Dr. Canali, but I have also seen these connections happen in my clients. I have seen it many times over in many different people.

When we break through the concepts of pain and taking care of our bodies, listening to our bodies, and living in our bodies, then we truly offer ourselves a greater awareness and consciousness. It is life changing in many ways, and often there is a deeper sense of peace and a greater felt sense throughout your body. In addition, by becoming more aware of the bodies we inhabit, we give ourselves a much greater control over our health that leads to us tapping into the healing power within, rather than always looking to others for the answers.

Come back tomorrow for ways in which you can connect your mind and body to embrace the pains you experience and move through them in healing. I'll be writing more about how you can connect your mind and body in a safe, effective way. (read Embrace The Pain, Part 2 tomorrow)


Further Reading:
1) Dr. Paul Canali, Evolutionary Healing
2) Fear Of Dentist posted on July 6, 2010
3) Embrace The Pain - Part 2 (Posted 1/29/11)
4) Embrace The Pain - Part 3 (Posted 1/30/11)



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/27/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Ignore The Pain

How far am I willing to go to ignore pain?

One of the things I have been thinking about lately through the tooth pain, is just how much I ignored it. I really didn't think I was ignoring the pain, but as I look back, I realize that I was. It took such an intense pain that would not give up, to push me to actually do something about it. Imagine the depths I went to just to avoid the inevitable of going to the dentist.

At first, I was having a painful wrist, where it was hard to do anything with my right hand. I was trying to explain it in my mind as carpal tunnel or spending too much time using the mouse on my computer. Little did I realize at the time, my body was compensating for me during my sleep time at night. It was helping me to avoid laying on the side of my face that hurt by using my hand to shield me from the pain. I was completely oblivious that this was going on. Yet, I felt the wrist pain.

Then there was the sore throat and the barely felt tooth pain, which I just passed off to heat stress and allergies from yard work. However, the tooth pain and pressure in my jaw persisted days after these stresses. Yet, I did not allow myself to connect with the pain. I was oblivious to it.

Even the days leading up to the start of the horrible tooth pain, I tried to ignore the nuisance of it. I remember using ice packs on my mouth to help relieve the pain. This was all done in silence and away from the view of house guests we had staying with us.

For I could not let anyone know the truth about how bad the pain was. If I did, then everyone would have seen the shame that I harbored deep within me, I reasoned. I didn't want anyone to see that. The shame I felt from being triggered to things in my past was nothing I wanted anyone to know about. I suffered in silence, hoping that all of this would just go away.

The thing is, the pain got so intense that I had to push through the fears and shame to make an appointment. I was so scared to call the dentist office that I sat with the intense pain for many days. For in my mind, it was not about the tooth that needed attention. It was about the shame that it connects to that my mind so badly wanted to hide from. While that may sound "strange", it is at the root of what is behind my avoidance of the dentist.

Just image though, what my mind and body was willing to do to avoid the pain and not deal with it. It did everything it could to pretend the pain was not there. My body completely disconnected from the pain. It found ways to compensate and shift the pain to other areas, but it was still there. It tried to cover it up and act as if it did not exist.

We all do this in our lives to on degree or another. It may be back pain, neck pain, illness, disease, colds and flu, headaches, financial stress or just about any other situation we face in life. If this sounds too far fetched, read any one of Dr John Sarno's books and see what the body connects to and how far it is willing to go. Times of pain, discomfort and frustration in our lives, is the way in which our body, mind and spirit try to get our attention.

It is the wise that listen to these messages from the body and not ignore them. For they show up for a reason. They help us grow, heal, move forward and evolve our lives. If we medicate them or compensate for them, we may alleviate the pain and discomfort temporarily, but it is still there. Not until we go in and deal with these things, will we get to the true source of the pain.

It will be like a tiger waiting in the brush, ready to pounce upon its prey at an unexpected moment. The slightest trigger or unrelated event may begin a cascade of situations that once again bring us front and center with our pain. May we then have the courage to embrace and allow it, instead of compensating and running from it. For when we embrace courage, we truly give ourselves the moment to change our lives forever.

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

My First Experience With Homeopathy

Recently, I've been struggling with some very severe tooth pain.  My dentist is out recovering from surgery and I don't trust most dentists, so I've just got to wait this out.  However the pain got pretty severe and intense.

I was ready to try anything and when a friend of mine first started to help me with homeopathy solutions, I have to admit that I was skeptical.  I do try to stay open to healing remedies, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if this would work.

Going through the skepticism and motivated by the pain, I gave it a shot.  One of the columnists on this blog, Natural Healing Gal, is the one that was working to help me.  Fortunately my skepticism didn't turn her off and thankful she worked with me.

It took a few days and a few tries, but when we got the right combination, I started to really notice a big improvement.  In fact, even from the first day I could tell that the pain had been reduced.  I'm not a "pill" type of person, so finding natural healing alternatives is important.

After several days of working with this, I'm nearly pain free.  Yes, it shows up a little, but it was getting to the point where it was really affecting things that I do in a day.  I feel like I'm getting back to normal now.

I do realize I need to go see my dentist and will deal with that dental anxiety as the time approaches.  For now though, just to have relief from the pain is hopeful and a big relief.

I would not have guessed what "Natural Healing Gal" knew would help in the way that it did.  I'm glad I didn't operate out of skepticism, but gave it a try with an open mind.  It was a major learning experience for me in my first experience with homeopathy.

Thank you "Natural Healing Gal" !  You truly helped me and I feel full of gratitude.

#NaturalHealingGal

Fainting At The Sight Of Needles

If you have experienced fainting to the degree that people with phobias have, it isn’t a pleasant experience. In fact, if you are like me, just writing about this topic is enough that I need to take frequent breaks from. Just the topic about this can almost make me feel like I’m going to faint. So, if you’re one of those, go gently on yourself when you read this.

According to an article on MSNBC.com, Afraid Of Needles? Why Some Faint At The Very Sight, seeing a needle in a medical setting is enough to make even the toughest of us faint. People who are terrified of needles get the same heart racing, shallow breathing and nerve jangling reactions seen in other intense fears. But the tendency to faint is what sets some medical phobias apart from, say being petrified of heights or spiders.

Ever since I can remember, I fainted at just about everything. Let’s see, there was the time I was in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when my brother was getting his cast off and I heard the sound of the saw cutting the plaster apart. There were many times when I would get a cut on any place on my body and the minute I felt it or saw the blood, down I would go.

I used to get a lot of splinters and my parents would take the sewing needle to get them out. More often than not, I’d be passed out before they were done. I can remember getting all of those shots you get in school as a kid and either crying every time or passing out.

There were times that I have had to have medical xrays or procedures done which required no needles and have passed out. Far too many times, I’ve passed out in dentist offices and often it was before any work was scheduled to be done. Even one time when I had an MRI done, I passed out.

Watching veterinarians do medical procedures on animals has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion and in college, I was an Animal Science/Pre Vet major. Imagine trying to do some of these things and learn in college labs but passing out so easily.

I still remember when we were doing blood types in a college lab and I told the lab professor about my dilemma. She quickly excused me from lab and prevented me from having to go through that experience.

For a continuation of this topic, read the next blog post on June 10, 2011, Fainting From More Than Needles.

Further Reading:
1) Afraid Of Needles? Why Some Faint At The Very Sight (MSNBC)
2) Fainting From More Than Needles (June 10, 2011)
3) Helpful Tips For Fainting (June 11, 2011)
4) Fear Of The Dentist (July 6, 2010)
5) Living As A Highly Sensitive Person (Jan 20, 2011)




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http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
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Fear Of The Dentist, Part 2

**Note: For full details please read PART 1 and PART 3 **

From My Daily Journal: I am very scared and full of fears at this moment and instead of sweeping them under the rug, I am going to acknowledge them. For today is my dentist appointment. Last night was so difficult to sleep worrying about it and dealing with the pain of the tooth.

To be very honest, I'm not sure what all my fears are. However, without a doubt, I know they are there. I can feel my pulse increase and my heart beat overtime as I acknowledge the fear within me at this moment.

The anxiety of what will happen, how I will react, is alive and growing within me. The anxiety of just being anxious is trying to engulf me.

These feelings and emotions are not new. They are estranged bedfellows to me. Yet, they feed off of me as their last meal just before starvation. My hope is that they get their bellies full and move on to their next victims. They only laugh and scoff at me in these thoughts.

May I today reach way down into that area that seems to not exist in this moment, and find the courage I need. While I'm there reaching, may I also find the comfort and peace to know that it is going to be all right. I'm going to get through this. I'm much stronger than I realize.

Please, Angels, I ask that I will have the courage, comfort and peace that I need. May I allow myself to just be in all of this as the day unfolds.



*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Embrace The Pain - Part 2

This is part 2 of a three part series. Please read Part 1 as background information to this post.

When you experiencee body pain, keep in mind that pain is the body's messenger. Don't try to ignore it or rush to the medicine cabinet in your house. Instead, take a moment and stop, allowing you to go within yourself.

At this time, consider all that is going on in your life and the events leading up to when you began noticing the pain. The events I am referring to include the emotional stressors or other events that you have experienced. Usually there is a connection between the two and going within to connect this awareness is a powerful healer and game changer.

In the following explanation, here are some things that you can do to help connect your mind and body together. You can be as creative as you want to be and by no means are the following procedures the only way you can do this. This is just a guide and a framework to help you connect your mind and your body. I have included suggestion #1 and suggestion #2 in this post. Come back tomorrow for part 3 of this series where suggestion #3 will be discussed.

Suggestion #1

This is an easier way of quickly connecting the mind to the body and you can do this anywhere you are at. It could be in a chair at your desk, standing in a line at the store, lying in bed at night or just about anywhere. A quiet place can help but I have done this in many places and no one even knows I am doing it.

If you are feeling some pain in the body or just wanting to give yourself a moment of deep connection and relaxation, try this easy method. Focus on the body part and begin directing your breath to that area. You can visualize that you are filling the body part up with your breath as you bring good things into it. Then you can visualize using your exhale to take that which you don't need in your life away. It only takes a few minutes of really focusing your breath with intention to an area of your body and you can bring great change to those areas. I have walked many people through this on a massage chair in a few minutes while getting a chair massage. It is not as hard as it may seem and the more you try it, the easier it will be to do.


Suggestion #2

I got this idea from listening to Eckhart Tolle speak with Oprah about his book "A New Earth". In the short exchange he had with all the listeners, he had everyone spend 30 seconds and just focus on their breath. That was it! We know 30 seconds is not a long time but if you truly just focus on your breath for that short period of time, it will center you and bring you back into your body. You can do this just about anywhere.

Many people never pay attention to their breath and so often, we don't breathe like we need to. We barely pull enough oxygen into our bodies to run our cells and muscles, yet we expect our bodies to perform, nonstop stressful paces during our day. So as you are reading this, take 30 seconds and just focus on your breath. Let me know how you feel after you did this.


Remember, come back tomorrow for part 3 of this series and suggestion #3.


Further Reading:
1) Dr. Paul Canali, Evolutionary Healing
2) Fear Of Dentist posted on July 6, 2010
3) Embrace The Pain - Part 1 (Posted 1/28/11)
4) Embrace The Pain - Part 3 (coming tomorrow)




Blog Post & Images (c) 1/28/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Helpful Tips For Fainting

For background information, you may want to read the following blog posts before reading this one. The blog posts are "Fainting At The Sight Of Needles" and "Fainting From More Than Needles".

If you are like me, don’t feel alone! There are many of us out there. In my case, I know I’m a highly sensitive person (see blog post 01/20/11) and this adds to the situation.

Here are some tips that may help you in dealing with this situation but most of all, don’t beat yourself up for it! Keep looking for ways that will help you overcome and deal with this situation.

If you have helpful tips to share, please feel free to leave them in a comment so you can help others.


Tips To Manage Fainting:

1. Let the person or office know where the medical procedure is being done that you easily faint. Many times this will help you feel a little more comfortable and safe plus it helps alert them to be a little more gentle and careful with you.

2. Try not to think about or look away from what is being done to you. Think about a song or something you want to do. Talk to someone that you trust about anything other than what is going on. Do anything you can do to get your mind off of what is going on.

3. Close your eyes so you can’t see any of the needles or medical instruments.
4. If you have a close and trusted friend that can go with you, sometimes that is a big comfort to you as long as they are able to function in that situation.

5. Insist that you lie down when things are being done. There have been many times that medical staff feels this is a waste of time and I usually just let them know that either they can let me lie down or they can pick me up off the floor. Most of the time, that conversation is enough to convince them.

6. Trying to focus on your breathing can be very helpful but even I know that when I get in this situation, that is like trying to drain the ocean with a single gulp. It does help but for me, the fear and anxiety often take over before I can get myself focusing on breathing.

7. Doing intense healing work on yourself is helpful but not always easy. Going into the pain head on can be liberating in the end but often we shy away from this because we are too afraid to do it.

8. Try to limit yourself in eating a lot of sugar or caffeine or other stimulants before having any of these medical procedures done. It just adds fuel to the fire. The more you can relax before something is done, the better the chance of you making it through without fainting.

Further Reading:
1) Afraid Of Needles? Why Some Faint At The Very Sight (MSNBC)
2) Fainting At The Sight Of Needles (June 9, 2011)
3) Fainting From More Than Needles (June 10, 2011)
4) Fear Of The Dentist (July 6, 2010)
5) Living As A Highly Sensitive Person (Jan 20, 2011)


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Blog Post & Images (c) 6/7/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/
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Loved By Your Enemy

I love the works of Joy Harjo, whether it is just poems or the poems put to music. She has written some very powerful works that if you listen to them, they make you go inside and really think. Every time I listen to her stuff, I always get something different from it.

Joy Harjo is famous to many for her poem titled, "Fear Poem". She also has a CD called "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that I love to listen to. My other favorite poem is "She Had Some Horses".

On the CD, there is a song "Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century" that is also the same title as the CD. It is a song that I think is appropriate for today in my mind because of the events that have just unfolded.

In the song she talks about riding in a taxi in Chicago, with the driver Rammi. The story continues to unfold about Rammi's friend, that one morning someone asked him for money as he was filling up his car with gas. He told the person, that he was sorry but he did not have anything he could give him. As the friend turned his back to finish filling his gas tank up, a gunshot wound killed his friend.

A family member of his murdered friend decided to track the killer down. He wanted to get revenge and take the life of the killer but his mother's grief moves his heart. In the words of his mother, "there is always a choice, even after death."

As his heart was warmed by his mother's words, the story says that he gives the killer his favorite name and calls him his brother. The killer is no longer shamed but filled with remorse and cries the cries of a thousand years. The killer learns to love himself as he never could because his enemies love him.

It is a powerful story and poem that Joy Harjo puts to music but it really reminds me that no matter what choices we make, we can impact others in a positive way or we can continue to carry with us, what happened in a distant time. Our anger is often justified, but what we do with that anger is what makes us human.

You really need to check out the song because it is much more powerful to hear than what I can share in these words. It truly brings this entire story and thought alive if you listen to it.


Further Information
1) Fear Of The Dentist, Part 3
2) Letter From The End Of The Twentieth Century on iTunes



Blog Post & Images (c) 5/2/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

I Won't Back Down

Written by Don Shetterly

I learned recently that Tom Petty passed away.  I did not know his music for a long time, but when I found it, it meant the world to me.  During that particular period in my life, it spoke to me like very little music did.

One of his songs that is an inspirational help to me is "I Won't Back Down."  When I first heard this song, I was going through horrible moments in my life.  I was just coming to terms with the abuse I had gone through.  It felt like everything was against me, including my family and life itself.

The lyrics state "you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down," and that's exactly what it felt like to me.  It was hell in my life healing and coming to terms with what had been done to me.  If you've been through childhood sexual abuse or torture, you most likely understand the things I am saying.

In another line, the song goes, "Well I know what's right, I got just one life.  In a world that keeps pushin' me around, but I'll stand my ground."  At that moment of my life, I felt like I was being pushed around, but I still knew what was right.

I had a CD of songs that I played which I called my empowerment songs and "I Won't Back Down" was one of them.  Whenever I felt like I wasn't making it or I needed a boost in life, I would play this CD.

Tom Petty's song helped me see that no matter what I've been through, I Won't Back Down.  He kept me going when sometimes that was a huge mountain to climb.

Healing from childhood sexual abuse and torture was and still is not easy at times.  It feels like pure hell.  Often it feels like you won't make it through all the pain or be able to stand when it is over.  That's where I believe what Tom Petty says, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I Won't Back Down."

I am sad to hear he passed away.  He will forever be missed in my heart and the hearts of many.  The world needs more people in it like him who see life for what it is, not what we're led to believe it is.

So even though Tom Petty is no longer with us on this earth, I'll say, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down."  Oh no, I won't back down.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Pain Opened My Eyes

Written By Don Shetterly

Here are my observations about my experiences right now, and I'm recording them to help myself not to forget as well as hopefully help others by sharing what I've been through.  This is not an easy experience dealing with dental pain, but I am trying to learn as much as I can as I go through it on my open.  The pain is opening my eyes.


While I know that pain will get your attention and will increase until it does, sometimes I know we (and this includes myself) numb and disconnect from it so much that it takes a baseball bat to wake us up.  I know that, and I'm sure most people do, but somehow we still numb and disconnect from the pain.

I've realized that the dental pain I'm dealing with is something I've been living with for some time now.  I've altered so many things unconsciously just to deal with the pain and numb it.  In fact, I didn't realize I had even done this.

For example, when eating, I have learned to eat on the side of my mouth to avoid the pain.  Another example is we have learned to eat things I can eat, so I didn't have to experience the pain.  I've learned to just live with it because the fear of dealing with the pain was so great that I just numbed my conscious thought to it.

That's the thing we humans do.  We numb and disconnect our conscious thought and awareness to the pain.  We do it without realizing that we do.  We do it automatically.  As much healing work as I've done on my mind and body with respect to trauma, I still do this.  It is an unconscious behavior.

Pain is there, and even if we feel some pain in our body, our unconscious behavior can minimize it or alter how we see it.  It can keep us from truly seeing all aspects of it.  More importantly, it prevents us from seeing beyond it and framing our mindset and perspective about the bigger picture in life in a way that opens up to possibility not restricts us from being more than we are.

As I write this, I feel like

• Pain is exhausting.
• Pain takes over my life. 
• It feels heavy.
• It prevents me from seeing things in clearness and reality.
• Often I don't completely know it is there.
• Often I disconnect from it.
• Pain increased to the point of getting my attention.
• I sometimes close my eyes to the pain.
• I numb myself to the pain without being aware of it
• I find ways to disconnect from the pain automatically.

One thing the dentist said that was like a big ah-ha moment for me was that "I deserved to live a life without this pain." While that may be one of those statements that sound so simple, it was anything but that to me.  I sometimes see the wounded part of my life that doesn't deserve to live a life differently than the trauma and abuse that was done to me.

I record these things as part of my own processing of the events that are unfolding.  It is my way of making sense of all that is happening in my life at this moment.

As I go through this process and learn more about my life, I realize that all this time I've been trying to numb and disconnect from it, that it was taking far more energy than if I would have just got it treated.

Yes, I know it is easier to write those words than to put them into practice, but I can't help but think, "I should have taken care of this a couple of years ago because it might not have been as bad."  Hopefully I've learned from this and my intent is to not let myself forget the ways that pain has opened my eyes.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Embrace The Pain - Part 3

This is part 3 of a three part series. Please read Part 1 and Part 2 as background information to this post. Suggestion #1 and Suggestion #2 (click on the links)


Suggestion #3:

Find a quiet place away from distractions. Get comfortable like on a massage table or somewhere where you are supported and it feels good. Begin by just allowing yourself to sense your body and do a scan of all that you are aware of or may not be aware of at this point.

If you have body pains that are surfacing, take a moment to just be there with it and allow your mind to focus on it. If you don't feel any body pains at the moment, just continue to explore your body with your mind and see all that you can pick up. What is tight, tense, soft, hard, cold, warm, heavy, light, and so on and so forth. Just allow yourself to be there in the moment, sensing and feeling and discovering every part of your body that you can find. It may take a few minutes before you start really sensing and feeling anything. Early on, when I began to do this, it took me considerable time to start sensing things in my body.

As you begin to feel whatever it is in your body, use your breath to help you connect with that area of your body. You can picture your breath filling up that area of your body including every cell, tissue and muscle fiber. Allow yourself to focus your attention here and just be here in this moment. Keep focusing and sensing in your body.

Whatever you are picking up, especially if it is pain or an unease, these things may intensify. Often before they dissipate, they will intensify. If it gets too intense, just focus your attention on a place in your body that feels safe or focus on a sound close by or even focus on the space between your eyes.

Some of these things are not always easy to do alone because having a safe person that you trust and that can just hold the space open is very helpful. You can do a considerable amount on your own but if you need a trusted safe person to hold the space for you, by all means invite them into your time of connection.

Remember, our minds are very protective of our bodies and usually the mind knows what the body needs and the body knows what it needs. It is not going to take you further into this process than you are willing to go. Fear may come up as a result of this and as long as you allow yourself to face the fears, than you can continue focusing and moving through whatever it is that you feel.

During all of this, emotions may or may not come up. It is possible that you will feel trembling, shaking or vibration throughout your body. You might feel intense heat, cold or other changes. Your nose might feel very stuffed up. There could be an intensification of the pain in that moment but remember, that often it can intensify just before it dissipates. All of these things are okay and even though it may feel rough in the moment, if you allow them to run their course and dissipate, there will be peace on the other side. It sometimes feel much more intense than it really is and that is usually the fears which are blowing things into a greater proportion than what is truly happening. Keep in mind that this is normal and okay.

Allow the process to unfold and continue. If it gets too intense, just take yourself back to a safe place in your body or focus on a sound or even focus on the space between your eyes. You don't have to do this entire process all at once. Give yourself the necessary time to do what it needs to do rather than pushing or judging the process.

As you continue to allow the process to unfold, your body will experience a deeper connection to your own awareness and healing. Keep your body moving if that means nothing more than stretching and contracting your arms or legs. The more you can get your body to do slight and slow movements during this process, the more all of this potential energy will dissipate from your body. You want the movements to be connected with your mind so that you can feel every part of that movement.

When you get through the moments that have kicked things up inside of you, you will get to a point where the breath will correct itself and often give you a very deep breath like a big sigh of relief almost. You will notice your body dropping down and becoming more relaxed and more peaceful. When you reach this point, allow yourself time to just be in the moment and experience all of this. For the hard work that you go through, the peace is the point that really allows the healing to come in and take hold within your body. It is the time when you process all that has happened and your awareness and consciousness opens up in ways you most likely have not seen.

Remember, don't judge how far you get into this process or if it is right or wrong. Just experience all of it and allow it to be there. What I just described here may take you considerable time and different sessions with yourself to actually get into things and connect with your body. There is no race to the finish because as you become more aware of yourself, you will discover many more layers that you can go into. It is like peeling the layers of an onion. When you peel off one layer, there is another layer below it but you can't see that layer until you peel off the first layer.



Further Reading:
1) Dr. Paul Canali, Evolutionary Healing
2) Fear Of Dentist posted on July 6, 2010
3) Embrace The Pain - Part 1 (Posted 1/28/11)
4) Embrace The Pain - Part 2 (Posted 1/29/11)



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/28/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com