International Angel Day

International Angel Day, started by Dr. Doreen Virtue is observed through various workshops from all over the world. It is a time of coming together and honoring children as well as the child within. It is connecting with others who communicate with their angels and/or desire to learn more about this.

Yesterday, (September 12, 2009) was my second workshop at Cassadaga, Florida led by Robin Matutino (an Angel Therapy Practitioner) . Through the workshop, we not only shared some of the ways each of us receives messages but through meditation we were able to connect and just be there in that space with each other and the Angels. This year, we were especially treated with a short performance by Robin's husband, Henry, on the Didgeridoo. One of the biggest things I took from this is how I don't spend enough time each day just allowing the communication. I get to busy or too wrapped up in my day and shut this off. Than I get upset when I feel as if I'm in this life all by myself. So somehow, I'm going change that.

While some people may think this is preposterous that you can communicate with angels and while some may feel it is totally possibly, I know first hand from many situations throughout my life what is possible for me. There have been many times when I have seen, heard, felt things and just knew things.

As a child, I used to talk to the imaginary around me. Maybe you could call it the Universe or whatever. I just knew that as I was talking to "it", that "it" would listen and sometimes talk right back with me. It was the same to me as carrying on a conversation with a friend or with my animals. It was just something I accepted as fact from as far back as I could remember. Of course, some of the challenges I faced came along and it began to make me doubt as if "it" was really out there. So I went many years sort of brushing it all off and just thinking that I had to do all of this in life on my own.

After I got out of college and was in the workforce, I took a job with sales that I really hated. It got to the point that I just was about ready to give up. And so one day, while I was driving on the gravel roads to my next client, I just wanted everything to end. As I was going around a curve (almost a 90 degree turn), my speed was around 60 mph. If anyone has grown up on gravel roads, you realized that this sharp of a turn at this speed on gravel would mean that there is no way you could keep your car on the road. My car should have gone airborne and rolled, flipped, etc. There is no way, I should be alive today. Yet, my car never ONCE left the surface of the road. I remember stopping after this and just crying because at that moment, I felt the hands of angels holding me. I will never forget that day.

Another time, came when I was in the hospital after I was paralyzed and just barely hanging on. They were doing some muscle tone/tension tests on me and these were so painful. Because I could barely speak or move, I could not get the lady Doctor to stop the tests and my body basically shut down completely. When I came to and looked up, the doctors were saying "clear" and getting ready to shock me to bring me back. In that moment, the bright white light appeared and I will never forget it.

I remember other times when I was learning massage and doing massage on clients. If I got out of my fear and tuned into what was going on - allowing to happen what needed to happen - I would feel as if my hands were being physically led around the body. I saw this happen many times and it was as if I was doing the right thing at the right time for the people I was working on. I still remember doing a massage one day and looking over to the side of the room only to see an angel being sitting there. It was a brief moment but a powerful one.

There are so many examples I can give, so if someone says "angels" don't exist or we can not communicate with them, you'll have a hard time convincing me. There are times when I get all kinds of communications from them. These more often come to me as "strong forceful voices" in my head. I know that may sound like I've got some mental condition but if you've experienced this, you'll know what I mean. It isn't a mean voice but one that is full of compassion and love.

Other ways I get these things is through images. There are times that when I'm around people, a strong image comes into my mind and there is no way I would know or be able to create that on my own. I've especially seen this happen when I've been in a body work session with someone because it often gives me helpful clues as I'm in the session. Sometimes I get images when I'm around people in public. Often these images help protect me or give me insight I need at that moment. It isn't like I ask for these things either. They either show up or they don't. I don't seem to be able to turn the switch on or off. And sometimes, I get way too much information that I really would rather not know. During those times, it can be very difficult. The closer I am to people around me or in large crowds, the more this information can sometimes be overwhelming.

Other ways I pick stuff up is through a feeling or just knowing something. Sometimes I can not explain why I know what I do or why I feel what I do. Some friends used to call me "space cowboy" and when I asked why they said that, their response was that I just know things somehow. At the time, I thought they were the crazy ones! Sometimes some of the stuff I pick up is just a general sense of things coming and at some point later, I see what it meant. Often I really don't understand it but I try to listen to it more these days. There have been times, that these things have kept me safe or helped me to make a decision that allowed me to avoid trouble situations.

I could go on and on about all that I pick up or the many ways that I've experienced angels first hand. I've even had moments where I've heard some of the most beautiful music I have ever heard and there was absolutely no radio, cd or sounds around that were creating it. The moments are numerous and sometimes I will feel a very strong sense of heat around me during these times. I've felt their hands on me, supporting me and comforting me. The hardest part for me is to not be frightened by it because I don't understand it but to open myself up more to it. It took me a long time to acknowledge to myself that they did exist because I feared I was crazy or that if others knew, they would think I was crazy.

And yet today, I still hide from them and withdraw because I still question - why me? Why do I get chosen to get some of the communications I do. I'm slowly learning to let go of the fear and just be in the space that I'm meant to be in as I attempt to keep myself grounded to the earth.

Here's a poem I wrote about Angels in 1999, titled "Angels Are Watching Over Me"

ANGELS ARE WATCHING OVER ME
(c) Don Shetterly 1999

A light shines to the stars
Glorius and radiant they are
As they shine from heaven with glee
These heavenly beings watch over me

You can see them in a child's eyes
They go unnoticed and unseen,
Humble and obedient they are,
Angels are watching over me.

They may be a helping hand,
A stranger in the night.
Or a quiet, silent type
But whoever they are,
Angels are watching over me.

A friendly face, a gentle touch.
Soft words of hope, letters with love.
A warm embrace, a lending ear.
May be the only thing that's near.
Angels are watching over me.

Fear trembles within as hope is gone
Ready to quit and not carry on.
Ending the pain but stopped once again,
Knowing all the time,
Angels are watching over me.

So many during my life,
Which I was not able to see.
For I had no strength,
To even worry about me.
But as I look back, I can see,
Angels are watching over me.

So many things we share
When our hearts join as one,
So many tears, so much joy
One with thoughts, one with love
Allowed just a few years
Angels are watching over me.

Now I know they are all around
From the smallest child to the oldest one,
In many shapes and tears,
They rarely stand out
But I know
Angels are watching over me.

(c) Don Shetterly 1999

In The Mind's Eye

One of the things I have learned from Dr. Paul Canali is that by watching the eyes of someone on the massage table, you can tell so much. When a person is deep in the subconscious (or hippocampus), the brain is processing information and neural connections and neural pathways. The eyes have a movement that when you see it, you will know exactly where they are. This movement also signals that the person has moved past the fears and into the processing stage. By working with this, you can help assist and provide safety to the person as they process things that they may not readily think about or things that are in the conscious mind. This work allows you help the person move through some very traumatic experiences without having to completely relive all the horror and pain of those events in a conscious manner. It is very powerful and amazing to work with.

Here's an article that talked about some of the studies being done in this area.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17762-eye-movements-reveal-processing-of-hidden-memories.html

The Secrets We Hold

Lately I've thought about all the secrets we hold as humans and they are many. Often times, we do not even own up to the ones that we hold so closely. Yet, they are numerous. Many justify these subconsciously in our minds every day and reinforce them through behaviors, beliefs, rituals and routines. The secrets can range from the more subtle to the extreme, from the almost innocent in appearance to the ones that would make a sensational news story on the nightly news.

In my own life, I've been told some whoppers! The secrets that have been carried down were once referred to me as "skeletons in a closet". I was told that often it is best to leave the skeletons alone because everyone has them. But is it really best to leave the skeletons alone in our closets? Who does that protect or benefit or hurt?

While everyone could make a strong compelling argument that holding on to these secrets is a way of protecting various people in our lives, the same case could be made that these same secrets hurt many more than they protect. We don't often think of that or of the people it may hurt when the secrets are formed. We don't often think of the future ramifications and the distortion of events that will occur with years of continued secrecy. It is as if, we are only trying to protect ourselves or someone close to us at the expense of others around us.

In my life, I have spent many years trying to uncover the hidden secrets in my life and of those around me. I have attempted to remain as an open book as much as I can and yet, I'm sure if I think about it, I have secrets that I have formed. And now, as I try to heal the intricate pieces of my life, there are many that are missing because they are locked up as secrets. Some of the secrets have gone to a grave and some will just never be told.

I can just hear the chatter going on in minds at this moment including, you should just move on, you should just let it go, you should not live in the past and so on and so forth. Those are wonderful statements for people who want to sweep the floor and push the dirt under the rug. However, I am one that would rather sweep the dirt out the front door, just not under the rug.

If you think secrets aren't as bad as I'm suggesting they are, than consider this.

Remember back when the Catholic Priests were being accused of child molestation? Each individual child thought it was just them and them alone. They did not realize anyone else had ever been molested by this person (generally speaking). So if they were ever to tell, in their minds they would question if anyone would ever believe them. However, when they began to expose the secrets, others realized they weren't the only ones and they began to tell their secrets. When the secrets were exposed in unison, it gave validity to what was actually going on. Otherwise, it would have continued to be covered up and allowed to continue.

For me, I was told when my grandmother passed away and I was just a wee little child, she was walking home from the neighbors house across the street and she slipped and died. To a little kid, that may make sense and a child may not be able to reason that this sounds ludicrous. And maybe this was part of the story but when you begin to lay in other facts around that event, you can see that there is probably more to the story. My grandfather was a proud member of the Masons who was an alcoholic. I remember my mom telling me stories of how he would spend more time with his Mason brothers getting drunk and drinking away what little money they had. I also learned that he was a mean drunk where he would hit and abuse his wife and my mom. This continued I believe until the day my grandmother died. Right after her death, my grandfather had an auction to sell off everything he owned and I mean everything. He then took the money and checked himself into a nursing home. Keep in mind, there was nothing wrong with him physically that he needed round the clock care. So he checked himself into the nursing home and laid in a bed hardly ever leaving his room for the remaining 10 years of his life. One could say he didn't take her death well and that could be but when you saw how the family behaved and that no one except my mom went to visit him, than you had to question a lot of things. Even the day he died, there barely was a funeral with anyone present. Again, the secret of how my grandmother died will never be proven for sure but I highly doubt she died because she fell while walking across the street.

Take another example with my older brother. On the night of my highschool prom, my parents received a call and had to travel 90 miles to Des Moines because my brother had just been accused of molesting two little boys that he was babysitting in the family that was giving him a home. I believe the family was either from the same church he went to or the Faith Baptist Bible college in Ankeny, Iowa he was attending. I have no idea what transpired because I was not there but I know that somehow the charges were dropped. Those two little boys had to grow up with the after shocks of what he did to them for the rest of their life while my older brother went free. Of course, if I would have been strong enough to stand up and tell someone, maybe I could have prevented others from being hurt. But it was my secret and the secret was not only belonged to my older brother but to my father as well. And one has to ponder just how many more there are out there that were affected by this secret.

For a long time, I began to go to therapy but I kept it a secret from everyone around me. Those at work were told I had something personal to do and I would try to schedule therapy appointments late in the day. My fear was that if everyone knew, they would think I was crazy and would think there was something wrong with me. It was shame, guilt and a poor self esteem that kept me from talking. It was more though because I had been conditioned to believe that if I exposed the secret, that my life would be in danger as had been proven on many occasions as a kid. As I got closer and closer to talking about some things, my secret came out in full force because even though no one in my family knew where I lived or that I was even seeing a therapist, I was so afraid to talk. I was afraid of the secrets I held. I was afraid of the power the secrets held.

I could go on and on with stories of many secrets. They are so numerous and are bountiful beyond comprehension to most people. As I try to piece things together in my life, to fill in the gaps that the years portray, I am met constantly with many secrets. For me, it is more than just needing to move on and to get over it. For me, so much of my past seems so disjointed. I have many questions as to where I come from, where I lived, how different memories even fit together and those things act as volcanoes in my mind, going off when I least expect them. It is about piecing my life back together where I have very little connected contact to it. Most people are able to talk to friends, family and relatives and reflects upon points in their life. For me, this is virtually non existent. For a long time, I wondered if I was adopted because all I know is the town I was born in and where I am at now in life. The things in between seem to have never existed. They were covered up by the secrets.

Most of my secrets were pretty dramatic but even the less dramatic secrets have an energy all to their own that robs us as being human. They make us less than human because shame, guilt, fear among other things, place a blanket over them. They hide them from our view. They alter us from reality. These secrets continue to not only consume us but perpetuate themselves so that they consume others in our path. Secrets not only affect us but they also impact so many others that we know intimately or we casually meet in our lives.

The purpose for writing all of this is that I hope each person reading it will stop and consider the secrets they hold in their own lives. What ones have you created? What ones were created and forced upon you? What ones do you know about and feel you are the only one?

I hope that you will ask yourselves these hard questions because the more light that can be placed on the secrets to expose them, the more freedom we will have as individuals and as a collective universe. In order to be truly human, secrets can not take up residence in our lives for they are an organism of poison feeding on our mind, body and spirit. May they be found out and may they be exorcised from all that we are. Let the secrets wither and die in the light of truth and knowledge.