Happy Endings NOT

Like many other massage therapists, there comes a moment when a client or potential client feels that a massage is nothing more than something sexual. Some may just assume since you are a massage therapist that it is a front for some type of sexual business. Some may refer to it as a massage with a happy ending. There are many different ways and forms that this takes from the very subtle to the outright direct requests.

I do know some massage therapists will cave in to the pressure of extra money while disregarding their ethics, morals and the real purpose they most likely wanted to learn massage. In fact, I remember one former massage therapist telling me of one of his adventures that he bragged about until I said, look - I don't want to hear it! Fortunately he is no longer a massage therapist.

It wasn't easy for me to bring this up on this blog because I'd like to pretend in many ways that it does not exist or it only exists in a few cases. Yet, I know and I get confronted with it even if it is in a somewhat joking manner. I did not go into massage to do things sexually for others. I am so repulsed by that thought that I can barely find a coherent sentence to say what I want to say.

My father used to get me to always massage his neck or back when I was a kid. While I now am understanding that I had a special touch and sense in my hands, it was how my abilities got mangled up into something I had no desire to do that caused great distress for me. While the initial request to massage his neck or back which hurt, was most likely legitimate, there were times that it led to things, no child should ever have to do with a parent. And for many years, the healing ability that I was given was mixed up with the not so good things I endured. It took a long time to get myself to the point of being able to go to massage school and learn this skill without the sexual stuff trying to take place.

One of the types of body work I prefer is the modalities that allow the person to keep their clothes on. I'm so much more comfortable working with someone in this way than having a draped but unclothed person lying on a massage table. Maybe the triggers of my past are still very prevalent. I have found that I can be just as effective through the clothes of someone as I can without the clothes. There is no difference for me in that. And it allows me to escape past some of the sexual innuendos and games that too many want to play when getting a massage.

More importantly though than my own triggers that I face is that so many in our country do not understand what massage is really about nor what it means to live in our bodies. To be touched in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental way is one of the most healthiest things we can give our bodies. Yet, many of us have been taught that to be touched is something that is equal to sex and sex is touch. While that may be true, touch in its purest form is what should be the norm in our society. There are so many examples of this around us if we only open our eyes and look at them.

I'm here to say, that if you allow yourself to be touched in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental manner, your life will positively change in many ways. The knowledge that we can gain from ourselves through touch and the metamorphosis that can take place are far greater gifts than we could ever give ourselves. Touch may be a part of sex but wholesome touch is not sex, it is much greater than that.

My hope is that anyone reading this will be a little more informed as to what massage is and what it is not. Most massage therapists do not like to have clients confuse sex and massage because it diminishes the gifts they have. Those massage therapists that do cross the lines are not only violating the code of ethics they adhere to as part of their license but they are degrading one of the most basic human concepts which is touch. Please don't fool yourself or others into thinking that crossing the line is ok.

If you do not get regular massage or bodywork done, you are missing out on so much. The body is a storehouse of so much information and sometimes that brief moment of touch can yield so much for our lives. It can truly be a beautiful thing if we allow it to be. If you're unsure about what massage should be or have questions, please feel free to ask me. I'll do my best to answer it.

Learning Lessons

I am amazed at how events in our daily schedule can bring out connections to things we experienced so long ago. Current and past events may be completely different in the details, but they do impact each other. It is our unique opportunity to be given the chance of learning from them. We do have the option of ignoring what lesson is being given to us or we have the opportunity to see what we can learn from it.

Abundance Blessings

It was truly one of those days. Just hours earlier, I was really feeling pretty roughed up in life, struggling to make sense of some things. They tend to be normal things, but nevertheless they are my beloved and hated twins. Most of the time, I can tough it out, act strong and act as a man while muddying through it. This day though, things were just building a little too much for me.

So I had some alone time and I sat and talked to the angels, as I call it. Most people may think I am a little strange here or if they saw me, they might think I was really losing my marbles because it would appear I was talking with no one. Call it what you may or what you must, but to me it is talking to my angels.

Anyway, I expressed my concerns, frustrations and anger. Normally, I don't hold back and I just say it as I see fit. It is what seems natural and normal to me. I do remember when people used to tell me in church, you shouldn't get mad and scream at God. Oh really, well if God or the angels or the universe (however you look at it) isn't big enough to handle all of this, than they really aren't that powerful and wonderful in my eyes. I digress though.

So yesterday we went to check out a massage school. I wanted to make another contact in the area, get a small bottle of massage oil and check on CEU classes. While we were getting ready, a thought popped in to my mind to go to the store, Guitar Center, and see about an audio interface for recording music. You see, since I got my new laptop, I have been struggling to record music from my keyboard on it with a good quality sound. When I bought the laptop, little did I know that together, Dell and Microsoft and the Recording Industry, would try to prevent something as simple as this. I've spent more hours than I want to think of trying to resolve this.

Anyway, back to the journey. The massage school was different than what I was used to and no classes were in session but I found the massage oil I wanted and got some information. It was a nice connection but I really do miss the school I went to.

We then headed to Guitar Center and when I showed the sales person what I was after, he said, that is not going to do well for what you are doing. I'm like, ok.. so what will that isn't real expensive because some of these items get pretty expensive. He pulled out a cheaper one but it would only allow me to record one channel in stereo which wasn't ideal. Than I asked him, what is the best solution and he pulled out another which was about $50 more. I'm thinking ok.. I record music. I want to do this and I want it to be right. Of course, the business account didn't have enough to cover it but there's always plastic right. So I then wasn't really thinking but noticed I asked him if there was a discount for a couple of places connected to my music distribution. He said no on the one but went to the computer, punched in a few keys and said, I can give you a discount of $25. I'm like...cool. I'll buy it! Later when I checked online, neither of these music services I mentioned had any discount with this place. He didn't have to give me the discount but he did. I'll finish the rest of that story in a moment.

So on the way home, I got a call from a good friend of mine who works with Dr. Canali. I've been struggling lately to find others who are consciously aware of life in the way that I am and Dr. Canali is. I've missed him and my friend a lot and I just needed that connection. Right now, to make a trip to Miami, hotels are at the peak of the season and are extremely expensive. So it really isn't an option at the moment. Anyway I found out they were coming to a place about 90 miles from us this weekend to do a seminar/workshop for another therapist I know. I'm like...smiles, hi 5's and the whole works! Just to reconnect with them and be around this will be worth more than a government bailout package! I had tears in my eyes just knowing that I would get to see them again. These are two people who have been with me through so much and next to Jeff, they hold a very special place in my heart.

Anyway, I got home and told Jeff I needed to try the massage oil out. Of course he happily agreed to letting me try it out on him. I gave him a 45 minute back massage which I haven't done on anyone in some time. I was kind of amazed that I still remembered what to do but when I finished, you could see it in his face that not only did he enjoy it but he was relaxed. A big confidence booster it was just knowing that I still had the touch.

So on through the rest of the story. I got home and started to hook up the new audio interface to my computer not really sure what I was doing. Jeff helped me with moral support. And then it happened! I recorded the first sounds through the new device and when I listened to the recorded sound, I was blown away. The sound was so crisp, clear and of a quality that I had never heard come out of a recording before. It was beautiful and I have a feeling this will give me the added edge my music has been lacking. I knew it was missing something but I didn't realize what I had been missing all this time. I'm glad I struggled through this issue and ended up buying the device that I bought. It was like it was meant to be and I was just a little slow to figure it out!

As I was thinking though when I went to bed last night, so many things happen in our days and if we're not careful, they will pass us by without even noticing them. The joys from yesterday were great and were the pick me up, I needed. They were the confidence booster, the new insight, the revolutionized way of creating future music! They were examples of knowing that I'm not alone and that I have so much support out there. It was a day of letting me know, that they, the angels, are listening. Indeed it was an abundant day of blessings.