Stand Opposed

Written By Don Shetterly

These days it feels like everyone hates one another.  I'm not sure there is anything but hatred these days.  So much is shared online of how we should love one another.  We say it to those who agree with us, but the premise remains the same.

If you're not in a specific thought bubble on whatever subject it is on, then somehow you're a bad person.  You're wrong and stupid and all the other adjectives that one could list here.  That's how it is portrayed online each and every day.

It isn't just about one subject that gets screamed about every day.  I've seen it lately from things that you wouldn't expect it to things that do not seem to be controversial.  As I've found, don't you dare disagree because you are the one that will be outcast.

Far too much of this comes from those who don't want to discuss issues but think everything they say is right (and all others are wrong).  Much of this comes from those who profess love and acceptance of everyone, but give them an online comment and they will get down in the mud pit with everyone else.

See, I think these statements about love, acceptance, and rising above everyone is just codeword for you don't agree with me and I don't want to talk to you.  I may be wrong, but I see more and more evidence of this.

If we just stand opposed on every subject under the sun, then how does that make us a civilization?  How are we a part of the human experience if we only want to hear the things that we agree within a day?

Sure, everyone says they want this, but far too few actually put it into action.  Remember when you get down in the mud pit of life and wrestle with everyone, no one can tell you apart.  Everyone in the mud pit looks like the other.

We've got enough issues in this world and to create more just for the sake of screaming along with the crowd, that's not being human.  In fact, that is ego driven in my view.  It is born out of fear that overtakes a person.  Human is a long ways off.

I wish this world would jam the gear in reverse, but I'm afraid we're going to go through some painful experiences before things reverse.  No one cares about one another these days (unless it is someone in your own tribe).  No one knows how to show respect for each other.  Yes, they can spout off memes, thoughts, and bible verses showing how loving and compassionate they are.

Maybe we just need to step back and see how we respond to situations.  Have you really looked at what you say and do?  Is it truly done out of respect, or is it hateful and spiteful?

The other day, I had an exchange with someone and I'll let you read what happened when instead of being sarcastic or spiteful, a simple reply with respect changed the course of a day.  It can be that simple, but first, we have to get it right within ourselves.  The following tweet was just part of the conversation that helped change the course of the day with another individual.

If you want to practice #Kindness - think about the responses you make to social media postings, videos, and news. If you can't practice kindness in those moments, do you truly understand what it means to be kind?

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) November 14, 2018

The person responded

LOL thank u Don, for I have certainly roasted couple severals of people to a charred crisp. While I think they deserve it, they also deserve love/compassion. So today is that day I'm sending it out to them & ALL, including you. I don't know u, but I love u for the person u are.

To which I said,

One day is better than nothing.  

Sometimes just a different response can mean so much to the whole world.  May we all try to give a different response - one that is respectful, compassionate, and kind.

Words Without Action Don't Mean Much

Words without action don't mean much in my opinion.  We seem to get that this is true, but yet in our civilization, humans fail to comprehend this concept.

Of course, if you are reading this, I'm sure you've never done this.  Words without action is probably something someone else does, right?  After all, we would never ever think of doing this.  I'm just being crazy, or am I?

So here are some examples that might help you see if you fall into this trap of words without action.

I see all too often that we preach love and acceptance to everyone.  We despise bullies and those that only see others through a narrow lens.  However, then the same people that are so put off by the rhetoric of hate and narrow-minded thinking can be found doing the same thing.  If you truly listen to yourself and watch what you share online or what you say in the privacy of only those that agree with you, it would be horrifying.

Another example is how people say they want to heal their lives or move on from situations, but what they do is anything but working towards this goal.  It is words without action.  They want to heal if it doesn't involve them going deep into areas of discomfort and stepping outside of their comfort zone.  They want to heal as long as it doesn't involve them going beyond the paradigms and belief system they know.  The desire to heal is there as long as it doesn't upset the family or social structure in their lives.

Last but not least is the example of saying phrases that are words without action.  They are statements that don't mean much.  For instance, you could constantly say to someone, "I love you," except that far too often, it is nothing but words.  There's no follow through with the words such as in action you take. 

You might tell someone that you miss them, but do absolutely nothing to stay in touch.  Either you are too busy for them, or you act as if there is no way to communicate.  You find a million excuses to go along with these words.  

Words without action show your priorities are off or you don't believe what you say.  They belittle those that bear the brunt of them.  They become passive aggressive swords that inflict pain.  

The world really needs people who are authentic.  We don't need more people who speak or write words without action because they just don't mean much.  You can claim all day long that it is everyone else that does this, but unless each one of us looks in the mirror, we won't see the log in our own eye.

Make your life authentic.  Make your life count so that when others hear you speak, your word is impeccable.  Don't be the person that speaks the words without action taken! 

  

Modern Day Communication Is Failing

I really get irked these days by the modern day communication.  Everyone thinks that to have many followers is somehow a status of significance and importance in life.  I hate to break it to you, but it is not!

The old man on pawn stars said it perfectly on an episode.  As Chumlee was telling him how many Facebook friends he had, he asked him how many of them would show up to help him move on a weekend.  Of course, the answer was, probably not many. 

Not that we can't have friends on Facebook or Twitter and develop some deep, meaningful relationships with them, there is a limit to the role they play in life.  As humans, we need that physical interaction.  We were meant to have that physical connection to enhance life, not only see a figment of pixels online.

These days, we go from one feed to the next, screaming, ranting, raving, and liking or sharing what the masses are saying.  We join the crowd with the latest rant, or we beg our friends to like, retweet, share, or answer silly game questions.  It is as if these things matter far more than anything else in life. 

However, we don't communicate with others in the way that we think we do.  In fact, I would strongly suggest that communication is so poor these days, we've almost forgotten what it is. 

We have all these ways of communicating with one another and yet we're really not communicating.  I hear far too often, I'm so sorry because I've just been too busy to connect with you.  Really?  A text message or an email takes that long to write?  Calling someone on the phone is such a burden?

When I grew up, we had long distance calls.  There were no cell phones, text messages, email, instant messenger or tweets.  You had to find a phone and then place a call which was expensive because almost everything was long distance.  Letters were more common then. 

Don't get me wrong in that I'm saying all social media or modern forms of communication are wrong.  However, don't tell me that you can't keep in touch because you don't have enough time.  It isn't that you don't have enough time as much as what you consider a priority and how you manage your life.

If people truly matter in life to us, we'll make time for them.  Maybe we'll realize that the constant screaming and ranting and raving is just noise in our day.  Not everyone needs to see our shared political rants or religious beliefs.  Not all of us want to be coerced into donating money to your favorite cause.

Instead, I'd love to see people treat each other as humans.  This does not mean posting the latest meme but actually doing it.  We are all too fake in this world, and it is getting to the breaking point.

The Happy Birthday messages on Facebook still blows my mind.  Everyone can click and say Happy Birthday, but what about sending a card.  What about a heartfelt message?  Does anyone still remember what it means to receive an actual card in the mail?  To me, I treasure those.

We really need to reverse course on how we are interacting with one another in modern day communications.  If we're not careful, we will wake up one day and not recognize anyone around us.  We'll become more fearful of people on the street because we don't know who they are.

When this happens, we will have failed in what it means to be human.  Unfrotunately, we're not too far off from this point.

Are You Fake?

These days I'm beginning to wonder more and more about people online.  I'm sorry, but it is true.  Too many who are fake, but throw up the positive thoughts as if they are the sole answer to the universe.

If you post anything real, you get responses of fake positivity that really does little but leaves the recipient feeling empty and hoodwinked.  You might think your words are somehow magical, but if they are not authentic, then they have become the noisy cymbal in the band.

For some reason, people think they have to respond with some wisdom when maybe the person just needs to be heard.  Unfortunately these days, we don't know how to listen.  We only know how to force our views and opinions on others.

You can see this in all walks of life and different places but in reality, the fake part of who we are as humans begin within us.  We're the ones that perpetuate what we so often scream and rant about in life.

Being authentic and honest is what makes a difference.  Listening without judgment and I mean truly listening without judgment is so rare these days.  I see very few people that do this, and I can count them on one hand.

Are you fake?  I'm sure you would quickly answer with NO!  However, I'm guessing without knowing you that this may not be the whole story.

It is something to ponder and consider because I believe each one of us shows a fake side every day and if we don't think we do, then we are fooling ourselves.  In my view, the trick is to recognize it and see how authentic we can be.

Authenticity and vulnerability are the essences of human interaction.

Stronger Together By Don Shetterly

By Don Shetterly

We are all Stronger Together.  At least, that is what I believe.  These days in our world, we act as if we have to go it alone, but that just makes us weaker.  We really need each other.

In this new song I created called, Stronger Together, I recognize that we all face challenging times.  We all have our struggles and our difficulties.  Reaching out to others, no matter what situation you are facing, is a sign of strength.

This song, Stronger Together, came about after many years of just being a tune on a site called Jam Studio.  I had played around with it, but nothing ever came of it.  I had the chords in my mind, but until I faced some challenging circumstances on my own, it was only a bunch of notes.

When I kept sitting down at my keyboard attempting to give it a voice, it finally came through unexpectedly.  Fortunately, I had thought to record it on my keyboard because it would have otherwise been lost.

When I record music, it either comes to me or it doesn't.  I was happy to learn that George Winston experiences the same thing.  Once the music comes out though, unlike him, I can't replay it.  It is like a conversation that once it is spoken, there is no repeating it exactly like it was stated.  My music creation is one that cannot be re-created.  I wish it could, but I have not found the magic in doing this.

If you want to know more about the background story, check out what I wrote on my website at DonShetterly.com.

This song is special to me and I hope you will support me by purchasing it on your favorite online music store.  I don't often ask for much on this blog, but when you purchase my music or books, you help support me so I can keep doing what I do best.

 

Buy The CD, Stronger Together

Are You Afraid Of Electric Lighting?

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm seeing so many conspiracy theories these days that it almost makes my head explode.  This person is afraid of this device.  Another person is scared of another device.  Other people are fearful of gadgets and things too numerous to mention.

Everyone has their own set of facts, beliefs, and opinions to back their conclusions up and prove they have the truth.  I've seen it so many times.  Quite frankly, I'm getting so tired of seeing it everywhere I turn.

These days in our society, it doesn't have to be proven, it just needs an "element" of truth in what is being stated.  In our news, we sprinkle in a few facts along with the opinions of guests on these shows and act as if we invented the best news source in the world.

Let's start with modern day devices.  Lately, I have been seeing how microwaves spy on you and how Alexa is spying on you.  Does anyone know if these things are right?  Most likely not, but it doesn't stop them from forcing the world to hear their beliefs that this is true.

Alexa has been in the news supposedly spying on everyone.  Maybe it is true, and perhaps it is not.  I have no way to know.  If she wants to listen in on our conversations, she is going to get very bored.  They can't hardly keep up with programming her with answers, so I doubt they have time and capital to fund the massive workforce that would be required to monitor everything.

I have seen so many people treat the Alexa device as if it is some evil person coming after them.  I shake my head because these people act like any technological advancement is a bad thing.  Be wary they say.  Run, they say.  Hide, they exclaim.

For me, I'm one that believes in invention and progress.  Actually, I think we are running far behind where we should be.  There should be more advancement and growth, not less.  Will there be mistakes and hiccups along the way?  You betcha!

It all reminds me of the story I heard about Thomas Edison when he was inventing the electric light bulb.  In his wintertime hometown, he wanted to build an electric light grid so the town would be lit up.  He offered to pay for it out of his own pocket, but the townspeople said NO!  They were afraid of the electric lights.  The lights were new.  They feared them as if they were the worst things invented.

Today, we can't imagine a city or a home or a street without lights.  We don't run from electric lights in fear.  We don't pass around conspiracy theories about electric lights.  These are welcomed advances now in our lives.

We may want to think how we view progress and innovation.  If we don't keep advancing, others will.  If we stay stagnant in what we know, we've doomed the human race.  Part of being human is growth.  Part of the mind body connection is about awareness and growth.

Let's not be afraid of electric lighting, but instead embrace that which makes us fearful.  Don't follow blindly, but don't be scared to step out the door because someone has convinced you that it might be too frightening (metaphorically speaking).

Let's embrace our mind and our body.  Let's be more than we are today.  We will not get there by hiding our heads in the sand.  We won't discover and become more aware and conscious if we're against stepping out into the unknown.

Even in the light of all that has happened with data collection, we need to be cautious, but not over the top.  Each one of us should be careful of the things that we share online because any time you type the words on the screen, you no longer have control over them.

Broken Regulators In Life

Written By Don Shetterly

Right now, we're not functioning with our mind and our body.  We are half engaged, but we act as if we are fully engaged.  Our human regulator is broken and causing us great suffering in this world.

When we are not aware or conscious, we don't fully engage in life.  We pull back and only put in part of what we need to put into life.  We numb from fear, and we engage from the ego, not from the heart.

Our emotions may be over the top or nonexistent.  Our passion for causing change may have no regulator on it.  Our words become a way to prove that we know more than others. Our ability to slow down and stop or rest has become one of that is a meme, rather than something we do.

We can only exhaust our body systems before they start breaking down.  If we don't deal with the stress that is piling up on us every day, it will be our stalker that attacks us in the night.  There is no way you can exist in life right now without stress having an impact.  Yes, you can numb yourself by wishing it away, but it is still there.  It lurks in the shadows.

When we stay fully engaged all day long through our electronic devices connecting us to every morsel of "breaking news" that others deem is important, we are hurting our mind and body.  Most of this stuff is noise in a day, but we consume it as if it is the last drop of food we will ever see.  It is not healthy in the least bit, but for some reason, we cling to every new feed, tweet, and a bit of gossip as if it is greater than our life.

When we live in fear and we numb, we are disconnecting ourselves from everyone around us.  We put up the wall between them and us, so we continue to operate.  There is far too much that we use to separate ourselves, rather than help to further the world.  The fear and numb is insidious because even though we act like it does not exist in our life, it operates freely behind the closed doors of our life.

We go online and leave comments that prove to the world we know more than they do.  Memes and happy thoughts become what we share with everyone.  Instead of fully engaging on a human and personal way, we fire back those tweets that will put someone in their place.  Instead of expanding our views, we huddle with those that we agree with not seeing others that hold a differing opinion as someone real in life.

Our broken regulators in life keep us from bouncing from one thing to another.  We don't even fully see it because we are not aware and conscious enough to do this.  We've lost the grounding in our body, yet we have convinced it is still there.  We've lost the ability to disengage from the ranting and screaming because we're convinced we have to fight.

In the meantime, love and compassion and respect has disappeared.  We claim we hold these truths in our life, but our actions fail as a witness in court for us.  We struggle physically with health conditions because we are not dealing with life.  Life has dealt with us in a way that we're no longer in control of our body.  Our mind convinces we are, but the body has long ago shut down.

If we want to and if we have the courage and determination, we can wake up in our body.  It is not easy and very few even do this.  The more you have shut down to in life and what you are inside, the more distance you have to travel back to awareness and consciousness.  It can be done, but it is not easy.  Too many stop before they get very far along this journey.

No one can tell you what you already know in your life, even though it is hidden from view.  It takes each one of us going deep within and seeing what is there that we don't want to see.  If we don't fix the broken regulators in life, we're going to end up in a very awful mess - the likes of which we do not see at this moment.

We can wake up if we so choose, but it is a choice.  It is not a bunch of words that you say.  The evidence shows through your life.  No one will be able to claim if you awake or not as that is something that others around you will know without a doubt.

In this world, we have been marching to the edge of the cliff for a long time.  We're not meant to do that.  Instead, we are destined to wake up and grow in awareness and consciousness.  Life is about becoming more of who we are, not succumbing to what the masses convince us is correct.

Each day of our life, we make a choice as to how we will fit in the world.  Our tweets, social media postings, interactions with others and how much we get to know the depths of our innermost self will reflect our awareness and consciousness.

What Is Your Idea Of Rest

Written by Don Shetterly

I saw this question posted online by a friend and so I thought I would write about it.  What is your idea of rest?  Doesn't it sound simple and straightforward?

Unfortunately, I don't think it is because from what I see in this world, very few people take time out to stop and rest.   No, I don't have hard evidence of that, other than what I've observed and seen in people and in the bodywork clients I have worked on.

We spend too much time with our phones and staying connected continuously.  We run from this activity to that activity without really looking hard at where our time should go.  In many ways, we are so busy being busy that we are too busy to notice that we are.

The mind and the body need downtime.  Yes, we need sleep, but rest is beyond the sleep moments.

Can you run your car a 1000 miles without stopping?  Can you work 24 hours a day without stopping?  The answer you would most likely give to this is no, you can't.  However, we still tend to apply these same principals to our life.

The mind needs time to process and defrag itself, but if we are continually going, there's no way to do this.  If we don't stop and spend time observing life (such as nature or our breathing or stillness), life will pass us by.  Life will slip away before we realize it and all the essential stuff we will have missed.

The mind needs periods of downtime.  We're so stimulated with data and input coming at us a million times a second that rest seems foreign.  We don't even realize because we are so unconscious and unaware these days of our limits.  Many times, we are keeping our minds in a constant state of busyness is not health.

Our body's need rest.  It needs to build up and recuperate, but we see how far we can push it.  We don't give it a second thought.  We keep piling stress on top of stress in our muscles, tissues, and cells.  The more we do this, the more we add layers to something that could have been so simple to release and let go.  As it builds, so do chronic pain and health issues as a result.  Then we wonder in amazement why we are in the shape we are.

The more you give your mind and your body some downtime in life, the healthier you will be.  You will see things in a more balanced way and not be so numb or fear driven in life.  It will help bring balance to all parts of your life because you will be taking care of yourself instead of neglecting yourself.

Of course, you can continue to do what you do thinking that very beliefs will take care of you.  Unfortunately, if you don't deal with life, stress and stopping to rest, it will deal with you.  You can count on that.  Just look at the research that shows how much of doctor visits are related to stress.  We don't take care of ourselves, and the result is not good.

You don't have to meditate on the edge of a cliff for 5 hours every day.  You can take little steps like stopping to notice your breath.  You can choose 10 or 15 minutes at lunchtime and sit there in nature or in a quiet place and just be still.  Observe.  Put the phone away.

Sometimes quiet and stillness is an excellent form of rest.  Without it, we turn our lives into one noisy and busy nightmare that we will never wake up from in our life.  Don't wait until it is too late like I did.  Take charge of your life by taking care of your life.

Flowery Words Without Substance

Written by Don Shetterly

So many times I see online statements from people that are pretty, but that's where it ends.  It isn't online only either as the media and leaders and speakers of our day do the same thing.  Flowery words without substance are in abundance.

Is it wrong to use beautiful words, memes, and positive thoughts?  No, of course not.  We need them to add some spice to our lives.  However, without substance, they are not all that helpful.

Consider this tweet I wrote as I think it sums up what I am trying to say.

Just be down to earth on what you say online. Flowery words that say nothing do very little for anyone. They may sound pretty but often they are void of real substance. #MindBodyThoughts

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) February 23, 2018

I find the thing that helps the most in a day is when we are real and authentic.  When we offer our hand of support to another, we're really adding to a day.  When we are vulnerable and share our life's experiences of what has helped us, we do far more than flowery words ever will do.

We fill up social media with happy thoughts while we often ignore and obliterate the pain that someone is feeling.  Our words become like unhinged swords that take out everything in their path.

Be down to earth.  Show others you really care by your words that come from deep within your consciousness and heart.  These days, the words tend to come out, but the actions and other moments mock what is being said.

We can do so much for others if we find grounding in our life, not what we are putting on display every day for the world to see.  Be part of the consciously connected help in a day, not just the mind-numbed repeats of what is done.

The world needs authentic people.  The world needs us to be down to earth.

Mental Health Awareness is More Than A Tweet

Written By Don Shetterly

There are some things I'm so annoyed by online that I can't hardly bring myself to think calmly about them.  I keep seeing everyone tweet, like, and share online that we need to promote mental health awareness.

While that is great, this is where it seems to stop.  We don't go any further than a tweet.  We don't really jump into it.  We just tweet, retweet, share and like and feel like we are doing something.

Two times, I've put out real hard information and helpful events that were "free" but in both cases, people ignore it and move on to the next mind-numbing tweet of the day.   There is no sign up for the event.  There is no sharing of the event to help others.

All we do is sit back and like or retweet that we need to bring mental health awareness to the world.  Great - I'm for awareness, but if that is where it stops, then what are we doing?  Are we just puffing up our tweet ego for the day?

If I'm upsetting you, I'm not going to apologize because I see this over and over every day.  Helping others with mental health issues and suicide is much more than saying that's what you do.  People need real help, not words on a screen.

Yes, I know the subjects are difficult to deal with and everyone wants to hide their heads in the sand.  Yes, I know that there are many ways to help and some people do all they can.  However, the number of tweets about mental health awareness far outnumber the actual things people do to really help.

We need to get off of our proverbial social media butts and do something good, rather than just claiming mental health awareness.  When events come along, support them.  Don't just ignore them.  When people need help, be there for them, just don't give them platitudes.

Lastly, if all we do is scream at others for not understanding the pain we are in, then we're not helping them to learn.  We end up turning them away.  Share your story with them.  Share not only your pain and struggle but what is helping you and what you are learning.  Offer a hand of support to others, not a bat to beat them over the heads.

(click to read)

I cringe every time I see the mental health awareness tweets go through because there are far too many that stop at the water's edge.  People struggling with mental health and suicide need others physically to be there for them.  Words on a page do very little.  Thoughts and prayers are empty if no action follows.

Ok, that's my soapbox.  If I have offended you, I'm not going to offer an apology right now.  I want people to be offended so they get up off their proverbial social media butts and do something.  If making someone upset that they aren't doing enough gets someone doing more than this blog post accomplished its purpose.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/27/18 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required in writing before any part of this blog is reprinted, reworded, transmitted or used in any format. 
• Feel free to share the blog post LINK and a brief summary.  

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When Everyone Else Is Wrong

Written by Don Shetterly

These days we see this everywhere we turn, but especially in online social media.  When everyone else is wrong has become the norm for the day.

We look at others online or where we live as being wrong while we are right.  Sometimes, maybe far too many times, we see our significant others as the one being wrong, while we are right.

Yet, we don't stop to take a look at things from a comprehensive view.  We just think we are the ones that have the answers and have everything together.  We don't seriously entertain the thought that we might be the problem, not the answer.

Sure, we give lip service that we do take everything into account, and we see all sides of an issue, but the honest truth is, we don't.  I'm sorry if that bursts one too many bubbles, but as humans, we are so good at being disconnected, that we don't see life around us for what it is.

As humans, we've become so good at numbing, avoiding and distraction, that we barely see the issue before us in a complete way as it appears to our eyes.  We've altered truth for our reality.

Whether it is in politics or relationships, or in a boss and employee moment, we often see our side of things.  It could be in the simplest of ways that seem so insignificant, but all too often we think we are right and everyone is wrong.

It is human nature to protect ourselves.  That is the ego, devoid of awareness and consciousness.  It is part of us to walk around seeing only through our filters.

If you find yourself thinking everyone else is wrong, there's something flawed in your thinking.  If you find yourself saying, "but in this situation, they are wrong," you're missing out on something you are not seeing.  Not everyone else is wrong all of the time.  You're not right all of the time.

Instead, if we focus on where we agree and look to learn and understand from those we disagree, we will become wise.  If we allow ourselves to be opened up to that which we despise in the hope of more understanding, we will become wiser.

There is far too much right versus wrong thinking these days.  You see it on social media every day and you see it in relationships and other situations.  It has consumed all parts of our life.

We must learn how to step back from the ego and embrace awareness of our mind body so that consciousness shows us the way.  We must learn to listen and connect with our heart, rather than our head which filters everything we see and hear in our life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/22/18 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required in writing before any part of this blog is reprinted, reworded, transmitted or used in any format. 
• Feel free to share the blog post LINK and a brief summary.  

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Blinded To Heart Felt Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly

Lately, I've seen a pattern online.  I see how much people proclaim they are enlightened, smarter, better, more aware and more conscious.  In all reality, are they what they claim to be?

They will tell you that they are what they claim, but when you read their social media responses and postings, it leaves a lot to be desired.  You can quickly see that what they say, does not match up with what they do.

Of course, many will write some flowery responses as if they know what is going on and you don't.  When that happens, I can see through it from a million miles away.

It always amazes me how much people will condescendingly tell you, their thoughts after reading only a few words in something you share online.  They might not even read the link that corresponds to it, but it doesn't stop them from enlightening you on their thoughts.

There are so many times I see replies preaching to me about how I need to live my life.  Yet, the person doesn't know me.  They don't know what I've been through.  Often, they don't know what I'm struggling with at this moment.  It does not stop them though.  They must enlighten you with their response.

A long time ago, I found that instead of telling others what they should do, share with them how you've dealt with the same situation.  Let them know, what worked for you and what didn't!  Tell them the pitfalls you found along the way.  Make sure you share with them how difficult it was and how maybe at times you almost gave up.

Telling other people what you think they should do, causes undue stress to them.  It shows you really don't care what they are going through because you make it about what you have experienced.

When someone is struggling and hurting, the last thing they need is someone interjecting their misguided unresolved issues on them.  Yes, we may think we're doing something good, but turn the tables around on yourself.

Remember back to when you struggled with a difficult thing and what would your reaction have been?  No, don't go easy here on yourself and give yourself a pass.  Really be brutally honest with yourself, and I've got a feeling, if someone else told you what you're telling them, you wouldn't appreciate it.  It wouldn't be as helpful as you think it is.

When people are struggling and hurting and walking through the fire, they need to know there's a point beyond where they are at.  They need to know that if they reach out when they start to fall, someone will be there with a hand to help steady them.

Of course, if you have not healed yourself, then this will be hard to do.  In fact, I believe that there are so many wounded people walking around acting as if they are enlightened when in fact, they have not healed themselves.  You don't' have to be fully recovered to help others, but you need to be walking the path.  These days though, we claim we are, but we don't have much to show for it.

At the end of the day, learn how to truly be there for others with heartfelt compassion.  Learn how to engage your own feelings and emotions, not make yourself out to be a robot who has none.  Be human and be authentic because people can relate to that, much more than if you start telling them how they should think, feel, or live.

Before you think you don't do this, my guess is that you do.  It is so prevalent on social media and in real life these days, that most can no longer see it.  It is no longer obvious to them.  Their eyes have become blinded by their own thoughts, pain, and unhealed experiences of the past.

Be more than you are!  Connect with people from your heart.  People hurting and in pain will be able to see through what you are shoveling out the door.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly

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I Feel Like Giving Up On This

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm tired and exhausted.  It feels like forever that I've tried building up something where I'm helping others while maintaining my life.  It feels like I've failed.

No, I don't require a wealthy lifestyle.  I don't require a lot of things.  I make do with what I have and try to live as simply as I can.  Heck, my cell phone is over 5 years old and not many do that.

If I wanted to tweet about politics all day long, I'm sure I'd have a bunch of followers.  There would be a lot of screaming, yelling, disrespect and name calling.  It might make me popular and might get more people acquainted with me, but the cost is too significant.  It is not what I desire.

On my blog, I try to focus on things that have helped me in my own life that maybe will help the world.  I don't just put out pretty happy thoughts that have little substance to them.  I give real-life examples of how I walked through the fire.

Yet, at the end of the day, I can't sustain myself with a living income.  My book and music sales are decreasing as if no one cares.  It really feels that way.  Supposedly my book has helped several, but you'd never know it by the lack of reviews and sales.  Supposedly my music is beautiful, but you'd never know it be the anemic sales.

There are far too many that are fake online and that seems like what I see more and more of these days.  Too many selling gimmicks and snake oil.  I try my hardest not to do that with the things I promote are ones that have helped me at one point or another.

Maybe I'm expecting too much online.  Maybe people want to be one-dimensional and half present.  Heck, it isn't just online.  It happens in real life for me.  Those who were once friends are distant unless I push them to connect.

So right now, I'm wondering if all the time I spend trying to help is really worth it.  I'm sure for those that it has helped, they are grateful.  It may just be time to move on and give up on what I've been working towards in my life.

I don't know the answers.  I've cried enough tears lately.  The only thing I know is I cannot continue to exist on nothing.  Somehow I've got to provide for basic necessities in my life.  At this point, I'm just not sure where to turn.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly

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Dearest 2017

I'm writing to you today, Dearest 2017, in the hope that you will listen.  I beg you to heed what I'm saying because if we have another year like 2016, I might have to seriously think differently how I get through to you.  (Note:  This was written at the end of 2016)

Yes, there were some good moments in 2016, like when I finally got to marry the love of my life.  I will honor and cherish that day for sure, even if many didn't agree.  It was a good day, and that's what I will remember.

However, there were some pretty terrifying moments like the Pulse Attack, an election season gone wild, and some other horrific acts of violence.  The entire year seemed to pit one person against the other, just because of what one person thought was right while others didn't.

There were individual moments for me where some turned on me and left me lying alone in agony and despair in the gutter.  Some moments left me wondering what direction I was walking and if I had the strength to find my way through the fog.

I'm hoping that in 2017, people may start to understand what it means to be human and to love one another and respect one another.  My land, we don't always need to be right about all this superficial stuff as much as everyone thinks they do.  May that change in 2017.

Hopefully, some of the problems that we face in the world will be solved, or at least I hope so -- from poverty and global climate issues to just not trying to control everyone with beliefs and opinions.

Hopefully, in 2017, we will begin to learn what it means to be conscious and aware, not just disconnected and numb.  I know that's asking a lot, dearest 2017, but it is my hope.  There are far too many that sleep and slumber, afraid to wake up and feel.

May 2017 bring about a year where we change our mind-numbed practices through online social media, and we truly begin to discover what others mean in our fight to advance our global civilization.  We're all on this journey together, and if we work together, we'll make it.  If we stay divided, we will most likely fail.  May 2017 bring this change about and lift us to greater heights.

Dearest 2017, I would love to see child molesters and abusers of all types find that they are no longer healthy members of our society.  Maybe we could stop turning a blind eye to those that abuse our children.  If the children are our future, we are severely failing them.

I hope that by the time we get to the end of 2017, that we're doing a lot less screaming at one another and listening to a lot more.  It feels like it is one constant screamfest every day, and I don't even think anyone listens to anyone anymore.

So, I'm writing this to be posted at the end of 2017, and we'll see if any of this matters or comes true.  Heck, by the time we get to the end of the year, we may have other things that require our attention and focus.  If not, please Dear 2017 - let's work on these things and see what we can accomplish.  We will all be better for it.

Signed,
A Human

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/28/17 by Don Shetterly

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Rolling In The Mud Pit

Written By Don Shetterly

I know, it feels like you have to engage with others slinging the mud.  In all reality, you don't have to join in the mud pit.  For those people who are sensitive and care deeply, it feels like you have to fight back and stand up for what happens online.

Now, before you get me wrong, let me explain.  I am not talking about turning a blind eye to anything, especially abuse and people who are a bully.  It is my opinion that if you engage them and as a result, they engage you, you are rolling around in the mud pit with them.  If two people roll in the mud together, you can't tell them apart.

It is like someone that calls names on the playground.  If you call them names back, are you any different?  In my view, one becomes the same as the name caller.  If one bullies another and you do the same back, are you any different.  I would suggest that we are not.

In fact, with everyone screaming at one another or the ones they deem as being horrible and disgusting and abusive, the screaming is only rolling around in the mudpit with them.  It serves little purpose.  They are not going to listen.  They don't care about anyone's viewpoint but their own.

I grew up in a house like this where whatever was said by my Dad or older brother mattered.  Even if they were flat out wrong, they would still argue with me.  Here are two instances that are minor but show what I am referring to in this post.

One time my sheep needed some medication and I knew it.  I always read up on the latest techniques for caring for my sheep.  My neighbor which also had sheep worked with me to help me learn how to properly care for them.  Because I said to my dad that we needed to give this medication, he fought me.  In his eyes, I didn't know anything.  It took me getting my neighbor to come over and convince him that we needed to do this.  No matter what I said or did, my dad would not listen.  He was flat out wrong, but it was his way or no way.

Another time when I was a kid, my older brother tried to convince me that we needed to somehow buy a riding lawnmower.  I was much younger than him, but understood far more.  He argued with me that if we bought the lawnmower on payments, we only had to pay for it during the summer.  As a small kid, I knew this was not how things worked.  He argued until I just walked away and got my parents to convince him that he was wrong.  He was not going to allow for the fact that maybe he didn't understand things.  He was convinced he was right.

While these examples are minor, it is the same basic thing we are doing online and in family and friend circles today.  We just scream at one another.  We don't listen and we don't even hear the other side.  Everyone is an enemy that doesn't know anything.  While others may be flat out wrong, they might have valid points and if we don't attempt to see those, we're rolling around in the mud pit.

The human ego loves to be right.  It wants to be heard above anyone else.  It wants to know that it is in control.  The heart is shoved aside as if it doesn't matter even though it begs for everyone to engage it over the ego.

In this day, we're spending more time in the mud pit screaming with one another and it is almost impossible to tell each other apart.  We think we're adding something to the day, but we're adding to the problems.  The egotistical people who think all others are the enemy are not going to listen to reason.  Their ego will not allow them.  To engage with them in this way, will only exasperate the situation.  In fact, if you ignore their rants, it would drive them crazy and insane.  The only thing is the human ego is not wired to do that.

If you're very sensitive like I am and have been abused in the past, this behavior drives you crazy.  I struggle with it.  I weep for it.  This world is being cranked up into a danger zone and if we don't reverse this quickly, our collective health is going to suffer in ways that we cannot even see.

We can all do our part to not engage with the abusive bullies of our day.  We can work to help further civilization and humanity, or we can just get down in the mudpit with everyone else.

I no longer watch the news.  I do read some headlines, but the news is toxic and this goes for just about any side of it.  We've lost sight of this so much that we can no longer tell the difference.  It feels like we cannot survive without this toxic news we gulp down every day.

Making the world a better place isn't about what everyone else does.  It is what we do as individuals.  Collectively our attitudes and responses make up civilization.  If we do that which we despise, we're no better than those we deem as adversaries.

Let us get our own life in order and let that shine for the world to see.  No, it may not drown out the screaming voices in the mud pit, but I believe there are enough of us that together will be much louder in the end by not engaging.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/29/17 by Don Shetterly

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Angry Rants

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm overwhelmed these days by most things online.  It feels like there is enough stress in a day and then seeing angry rants just pushes it over the edge.  I'm not sure why we as a world are at the place we are, but I'm worried for the future of our civilization.

No one seems to want to listen to another.  We only seem to want to scream and push our point of view on everyone.  I think many feel like no one hears them and if that's the case, the result is to scream louder to compensate.

Everyone seems to have their point of view and belief system.  While that is fine, when you force it upon everyone else, what do you profit?  How do you make their life better?  How do you make the world better?  After all, they are "our" beliefs.  Often times, "our" beliefs are not backed up by as much truth as we think they are.

I see the I'm right, you're wrong in the angry rants.  It doesn't matter the issue.  The ego is crafty and smart and powerful.  It says, my way or the highway and to heck with your views, thoughts, or ideas.  The only thing is, if we are all right, and everyone else is all wrong, then we've got a mess on our hands.  Surely life is more than you're wrong, and I'm right.

Angry rants go on about this individual or group of people.  It often centers around politics and the latest headline of the day.  I'm bewildered when I see the constant stream of it online, weeping in sadness for how we treat one another.

Surely our lives are more than angry rants of who is right and who is wrong.  Are we not more than all of the mind-numbed issue ranting of the day?  If you really look at it, it is not a conscious behavior.

I'm not saying that we should ignore injustice, abuse, and bullying.  In fact, I think we have to speak up, but there are different ways of doing that.  Many that are being used today are not effective and become nothing more than a noisy gong.  We are drowning each other out.

I get the frustration with what is happening throughout the world.  It feels frightening at times and stressful most other moments.  It feels like there is nothing stable or permanent.

In my mind, I see the pendulum of the planet swinging so far back and I wonder how much further it can go.  What will happen when it reaches its furthest most point?  My mind wonders about what will happen when it swings back and hits all the other balls hanging there without motion.

Some days I feel like the only one seeing this, but lately I've noticed I'm not alone.  There are others that see this and try not to add to the anger in this world.  I am inspired and hopeful by these connections.  The peaceful and loving ones are beginning to emerge.

Each and every human needs to stop and take stock of their lives.  We need to be mindful and aware of what we are putting out into the world.  There is more than one way to communicate and right now as a civilization, we're really messed up.

May we figure this out before the pendulum swings too far back.  I hope that everyone who reads this will stop and think about it for one moment.  We cannot expect everyone else to do what we want when we're doing the very same behavior.  We cannot expect others to listen if we do not hear.  If we are screaming, we can not expect them to be silent.

We may think we are right and quite possibly that is true.  However, being right comes with a responsibility to see others through the eyes of love and understanding.  In fact, love and understanding see beyond who is right or wrong.  Angry rants do very little to help.

How do angry rants impact your life?  Do you see anything that you can do differently to be part of the healing in this world?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 12/14/17 by Don Shetterly

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Child Abuse Survivors Are Not Alone

Written By Don Shetterly

Far too many times we think we're all alone out in the world.  We believe there is no one else that has suffered through situations like we have.  We see our experiences as isolating us from others, when in fact, many have also walked in similar shoes on the road of life.

When I was first starting to deal with the memories of child sexual abuse, I thought I was alone.  I didn't think anyone understood.  I didn't know there was anyone else that had gone through these things.  Boy, was I so wrong!

In the early days, there were not the online resources that exist today.  There was not a team of therapists and support people that you could reach out to for help.  The internet was beginning to come alive, but resources were few and far between.  I remember going to one of the first support forums for male survivors.

The thing that this place helped the most was letting us all share our experiences and how we were struggling and dealing with them.  When you started to read the things other members wrote, you began to see that you weren't alone.  It was like a shot of a Hallelujah Chorus singing for all the heavens to hear.  It was that powerful.

When you go through abuse, even if the innermost parts of you can determine it is harmful and wrong, there's a part that says, "this is what is normal in life."  When you are a child experiencing these horrendous acts, it blurs the line between what is normal and what is not.  You carry that through into your adult years as if it is a conflicting truth which you have built your life upon.

Knowing that others have gone through experiences I had and that the trauma and abuse were anything but normal, helps significantly in reconciling your life with truth.  It is in that vulnerability that we come to know more of what the truth is.

One of the hardest things for survivors of abuse is feeling like they are alone and no one understands.  I'm grateful that there is a network of support out there for child abuse survivors.  The tricky part comes in getting those to see that they are not alone and others will be there supporting them as they begin their healing journey.

I can almost guarantee you that if you feel you're alone in what you are going through, there are others out there that understand this.  When you meet that individual, you will find a sense of strength and determination in healing from the horrors of your past.  It may not make the path easy, but at least you do not have to do this alone.

 Some great resources

1. Male Survivor
2. Surviving My Past
3. Mind Body Thoughts Blog (this blog)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Do We Really Want Change?

Written By Don Shetterly

These days I see people pushing one movement or another.  I look at where we are told to "stand up to this issue" or "prevent this issue" or "bring awareness to an issue."  But yet, I wonder if we really want to change.

We give lip service that we do.  We fill our Twitter and Facebook feeds with it, but then our actions portray just the opposite.   Please don't mistake this blog post as being a political one, because it is much bigger than that. I am more focused on mind body health and healing.

I've written some blog posts about intense and difficult subjects.  These are often about the things that everyone wants to stop, prevent, change or bring about through awareness.  Yet, when I share those online, the click rate to the blog post is barely existent.

It appears that we want to help change the world and bring awareness, prevention, or support, but we really don't want to do much more than that.  So, I have to question, do we really want change?

I know... I know..  Everyone will say of course we want change.  Of course we care about our issues, but unfortunately, actions speak louder.  If all you're willing to do is retweet or like or share the fact that you are raising awareness, does that go far enough?  In my view, I don't believe that it does.

I don't even believe it means we have to protest or sign petitions.  I'm not convinced that those always bring about the change we need.  We may think we do, and there may be some evidence of it, but does it really do what we think it does?  To me, it feels more like screaming and boiling water than actually doing something.

After all, if you want to change the world, it begins with each one of us.  It doesn't start by beating someone else over the head to see the world the way we do.  It doesn't begin with bullying someone into believing the way we do.  It starts with how we change our own lives in this world.

It isn't just a thought process in what we think and believe.  From deep within the core of the mind and body, it radiates out energetically as a vibration.  What is genuinely within us is shown to the world.  We may not be conscious of it.  We may not be aware of it, but it is on display.

Do we really want change?  If we do, we'll support conscious behavior that helps others heal.  We will quit focusing on the latest trending story of the day and look beyond to a bigger picture.  If we really want change, we'll start by examining ourselves from the deepest parts, not from our belief system.

I'm not going to stop writing about the hard and challenging subjects.  People may stay in the clouds and not read these things.  That is their choice, but I'm not going to sit by silently.  I'm not going to watch others be abused and remain silenced.

This blog and everything I write is about pushing us beyond our comfort zone.  It is about challenging our beliefs and opinions and current awareness.  I strive to get people who read this blog to think about everything more and in a different light.

We are following a dangerous path in this world, and we really need to ask the hard questions.  I'll leave you with this question one last time:  Do we really want change?  If we do, it must begin with each one of us.  Let our mind body health and healing start within our own continued awareness of what is possible.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Do You Want To Be Concsious Online?

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm sitting here in frustration at the moment watching what happens online every day.  I see it and keep hoping it will change, but the needle seems to be going in the negative direction.  So, I'm left to wonder, do people want to be conscious?

Somedays, it seems like social media is nothing more than a rant about political beliefs.  The world could be ending in this very second, and all anyone seems to care about is the latest tirade on Twitter or the grabbing headline of the day.  There is no in-depth analysis.  It is what people hear that they regurgitate no matter how hard they try to convince others they make up their own minds.  Sorry, the evidence shows the contrary.

People want to be concerned about mental health, depression, suicide and anxiety among other health situations.  I applaud this.  I think it needs to be talked about, but far too often it means nothing more than a retweet or like on social media.  The conversation doesn't continue.  It only ticks up the counters in the tweet or post.  I see this in stuff especially about suicide I have posted.  It gets clicks, but that's as far as it goes.

What does it matter?

There are so many games played online with people where if you click this, I'll follow you back.  Oh look, I can buy more followers.  Oh look, people, see how much I can spend online to get a lot of retweets, likes, and comments.  At the end of the day, what does that matter?  What have you accomplished that changed your life or the world?

Don't you dare say anything that doesn't fit into everyone's beliefs because it would be too uncomfortable if we could discuss with someone who holds opposing thoughts?  It doesn't matter if it is hot-button issues or simple things, I've seen the sudden drop online because of it.  I don't necessarily look for those that agree with me, but I just look for those that respect others.  We can hold differing viewpoints, but we're still fellow humans traveling on this earth.

Many people online act as if they have the only answer.  They are the experts.  They know the truth.  There is nothing else or anything that they could possibly entertain.  So, once again I ask, do people want to be conscious?

Some give lip service...

I really wonder if people do because I see very few that attempt to do this.  Some give lip service to it.  Some make it appear they do, but it is the same thing as if you have a glass house thinking no one can see inside.

It isn't about what other people want and what they do either.  It is about each one of us and what we want.  Do you want to be conscious?  Are you willing to go the distance and be conscious?  Are you ready to step away from all you know, all you have been taught and your beliefs to be conscious?

I mean, are you ready to challenge everything you know and drop what no longer serves you?  No, I don't say you do this if it agrees with you, but if it makes you uncomfortable.  I mean, if it makes you question things that are not easy.  It is where we begin to find consciousness.  We do not find it in the safety of our routine lives.

Diminished what was written...

I posted something about the topic of what is truth.  One person immediately without reading it said it is a religious thing.  They did not even entertain what the blog post was about but was so quick to state their belief rather than be informed.  They diminished what was written by their own unconsciousness.  They were not showing love or compassion or understanding.

So, once again I ask, Do you want to be conscious?  I'm not going to let anyone off the hook on this blog post.  I know this is a hard question.  I know we want to say, of course, we do, but in all reality - is that true?

I too struggle with this daily, and I think that is a good thing.  If you want to be conscious, but you don't wade into the water, you may need to work on being more honest with yourself.  See, we fool ourselves into thinking that we are more than what we are.  We kid ourselves into believing that we have everything together while we hide and ignore, numb and disconnect to what is the truth around us.

Deeper than we currently see...

Consciousness is not just a thought process.  It means being connected to our mind, body, emotions, thoughts, and the higher spiritual side of where we fit in this world.  Consciousness is not just a meme we retweet or the fake smile we paste on our face.  It is more than spouting our own beliefs as if everyone else should think like us.  It is deeper than we currently see and if we think we are conscious, we most likely are a long way off.

Consciousness means we go in and become aware of all parts of our life, even the most uncomfortable ones.  Where fear is afraid to tread, that's where we go to become more aware and conscious.

It is up to each one of us how we live our life.  If we spend every waking minute worrying about the latest tirade of the day, we're not helping the world.  We're adding to the problem.  The world and human civilization have serious issues, and it is looking for people to step up to the plate and help solve these problems.  Unfortunately, we have a world that is screaming at one another.  Nothing is being resolved.

Through your actions...

Do you want to be conscious?  It isn't a yes or no answer.  It is how you live in a day and what you do through your actions that give the answers.  It is where you focus your time and help and love, not just how much you act as if you do.  Conscious means doing more and being more than you were yesterday and not as far as tomorrow.  It is a daily commitment, not a one time retweet or like or post.

I write because I want to see the world and human civilization wake up.  No, I'm not referring to politics or religion.  I mean, waking up from the inside out.  Learning how to live not only in your mind but in your body.  Seeing that your life is led by a heart that is fully open, not close or semi-open from the trials of life.

I write because I want to make a difference.  I don't care about many of the issues most get frantic about these days.  Those are temporary unconscious events that only bring out the worst in people.  I'm more concerned with how you deal with your health and mental well-being.  The overall love and acceptance of others are what matters to me, not the judgment and condemnation we shove in other people's faces.

Do you want to be conscious?  If you do, make sure your actions and thoughts and your words work in that direction.  See the big picture, not the moment by moment parts of life that do not advance the civilization of this universe.  See that consciousness begins deep inside of you and radiates out for all to observe.

I'll leave you with this question one last time because I just want you to think about it.  The answer is not as important as the process of contemplation.  Do You Want To Be Conscious?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/9/2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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