Sunday, January 14, 2018

I Feel Like Giving Up On This

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm tired and exhausted.  It feels like forever that I've tried building up something where I'm helping others while maintaining my life.  It feels like I've failed.

No, I don't require a wealthy lifestyle.  I don't require a lot of things.  I make do with what I have and try to live as simply as I can.  Heck, my cell phone is over 5 years old and not many do that.

If I wanted to tweet about politics all day long, I'm sure I'd have a bunch of followers.  There would be a lot of screaming, yelling, disrespect and name calling.  It might make me popular and might get more people acquainted with me, but the cost is too significant.  It is not what I desire.

On my blog, I try to focus on things that have helped me in my own life that maybe will help the world.  I don't just put out pretty happy thoughts that have little substance to them.  I give real-life examples of how I walked through the fire.

Yet, at the end of the day, I can't sustain myself with a living income.  My book and music sales are decreasing as if no one cares.  It really feels that way.  Supposedly my book has helped several, but you'd never know it by the lack of reviews and sales.  Supposedly my music is beautiful, but you'd never know it be the anemic sales.

There are far too many that are fake online and that seems like what I see more and more of these days.  Too many selling gimmicks and snake oil.  I try my hardest not to do that with the things I promote are ones that have helped me at one point or another.

Maybe I'm expecting too much online.  Maybe people want to be one-dimensional and half present.  Heck, it isn't just online.  It happens in real life for me.  Those who were once friends are distant unless I push them to connect.

So right now, I'm wondering if all the time I spend trying to help is really worth it.  I'm sure for those that it has helped, they are grateful.  It may just be time to move on and give up on what I've been working towards in my life.

I don't know the answers.  I've cried enough tears lately.  The only thing I know is I cannot continue to exist on nothing.  Somehow I've got to provide for basic necessities in my life.  At this point, I'm just not sure where to turn.






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