Thursday, May 26, 2016

We Sabotage Ourselves

There are many hurting in the world and I sure don't want to make light of anything that anyone is going through.  I've struggled with my own issues in life and at times I've barely held my head above water.  At other times in my life, I've sunk down into a mental hole of depression and despair.

I know what its like to go through some very rough and extreme moments in life.  If you want to know more, you can always catch up in my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma (click to read more on my blog).  I felt that I needed to start out with this because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or cause them additional pain.

I will speak personally because that is my truth.  Apply it to your own life as you see fit or maybe allow it to help fill in the hole of despair and depression you may be experiencing.  We are all in this together. 

One of the things we do....

One of the things we do as humans is we sabotage ourselves.  I know personally that I do this.  Recently I struggle through a major loss and change in my life.  I had people reaching out, but I closed the door on them.  I had people I could call, but I just didn't want to talk to anyone.  The things that I had once used to help me in life had become nothing but daggers pointed in my direction.

I did everything and anything to sabotage my life.  I didn't care about my health or what I ate or what I did.  I was in misery and I wanted to stay in misery.  Happiness or well-being had become enemies to me.  I fought anything that was good for me.

Yet, I knew deep down that in order to change the way I felt, I had to change the way I was acting and behaving.  I had to change those things that were not helping and embrace that which could help.  It didn't all happen at once.  I didn't change it overnight but I kept working towards the good and I kept trying and attempting to embrace that which would help me.

We do it before we realize it...

It is so easy for us to sabotage ourselves.  We can do it with the best of them.  We can do it before we even realize we are doing it.  However, it isn't helpful.  It isn't good for us long term.  We know that, but we still do it.

Sometimes people come along in your life and are there to help you.  Sometimes they reach out and if we keep pulling our hand back, we will keep sinking in the quick sand.  Sometimes the hand reaching out to us helps give us the strength to make it up out of the quick sand.  Maybe it just gives a temporary moment of rest and pause so we can find our way out of the hole of despair and depression.

The thing is, if we sabotage ourselves, we'll stay stuck in that dark hole.  We'll stay in that quick sand that keeps pulling us under.  Is it easy to get out of it?  NO!  No, it definitely is not.  It can require much more strength than we sometimes have, but that's where others come in.  They are there to help us through those difficult moments until we can find solid footing to stand on.

If you're in one of these deep dark holes of despair and depression, try this and see if it works.  If it doesn't, then keep trying until you find the thing that does.  Focus on one thing that you can do to help you.  It doesn't matter how small it may be.  Once you've been able to do that, then repeat again and again.  Don't reach for the stars immediately.  Instead of just focus on doing one small thing.

Once you keep adding those things together day after day, you'll probably look back and be surprised at just how far you have come.  Don't give up.  Don't allow the quick sand to pull you under.  Realize you have much more strength than you can see and know that "this too shall pass".

If nothing else, I'm pulling for you.  I'm reaching out with a hand through my words here to offer a moment of strength and support.  You can do this.  You can do this!

By chance if you sabotage yourself, don't worry - tomorrow, you can always try to do something differently.  And if that day isn't as successful as  you want, the next day gives you a clean slate.
Leave a comment if you agree that you sabotage yourself or if you disagree.  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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