Friday, May 13, 2016

Being Okay With This Moment

It isn't easy for me at times.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed even with all the extensive work I have done on myself.  Other times, it feels like smooth sailing.  The one thing I have realized in this healing journey is that the deeper you allow yourself to go, you just have no idea where that will take you.

Being okay with this moment is often tough for us humans.  It just is!  We're usually standing in the darkness of a cave or the fog of the unknown world around us.  But being okay - now that's like super challenge for the superhero.

I have found though, that being in the midst of what you don't know is often the best way to find what you need.  That may sound like doublespeak, but I've found it to be true.  Allowing myself just go in and be okay with where I am at is sometimes the launching point for so much more in my life.

There are times when we face so much in life and sometimes I don't believe there are always answers immediately looking at us in the eye.  Sometimes, I don't think we are ready for those answers.  Yes, it seems tough in the moments and we often struggle to make sense of it, but sometimes things are just the way they are because they are.

As one goes deeper and deeper into healing trauma, you will see new layers unlike you have ever seen before.  Some of them get pretty deep and challenging, but as you go, you have more and more skills to harness what is before you.  You are operating at a higher level then you have been, and so you will move through these things, if you just allow yourself to be okay with this moment.


One of the things that has never fully 100% come back from my days of Conversion Disorder and paralysis is my memory.  I struggle with it.  Yes, I realize many people do, but my struggle is a little different than most.  I remember what therapist asking me, "can you be okay with this?"  At first I was like, well of course I can, I have to be strong.  However, the more I thought about that question, the more I realized it wasn't as easy as it sounded.  It is not easy to just be okay with it.

Another time where I had a rash that covered my entire body from trauma memories of years gone past.  It was going to that place of being okay in this moment that I could find what I needed to heal from this horrible condition I was facing.  I'm not saying it was easy.  I'm saying I needed to be okay with this moment so I could actually move forward and heal.

We all want a quick fix but often what seems like a quick fix is nothing more than a big detour from where we need to go.  Sometimes stopping the car in road of life, we can take a moment and be okay knowing that we're studying our road map to find where the route ahead leads us.

Being okay with this moment is often what we need to do and I do agree its challenging.  However, its the stuff that super healers are made of and it is empowering.  I'm sure I'm not the only that has seen this in action and if you have seen it, please leave your story in the comments below.


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