We Sabotage Ourselves

There are many hurting in the world and I sure don't want to make light of anything that anyone is going through.  I've struggled with my own issues in life and at times I've barely held my head above water.  At other times in my life, I've sunk down into a mental hole of depression and despair.

I know what its like to go through some very rough and extreme moments in life.  If you want to know more, you can always catch up in my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma (click to read more on my blog).  I felt that I needed to start out with this because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or cause them additional pain.

I will speak personally because that is my truth.  Apply it to your own life as you see fit or maybe allow it to help fill in the hole of despair and depression you may be experiencing.  We are all in this together. 

One of the things we do....

One of the things we do as humans is we sabotage ourselves.  I know personally that I do this.  Recently I struggle through a major loss and change in my life.  I had people reaching out, but I closed the door on them.  I had people I could call, but I just didn't want to talk to anyone.  The things that I had once used to help me in life had become nothing but daggers pointed in my direction.

I did everything and anything to sabotage my life.  I didn't care about my health or what I ate or what I did.  I was in misery and I wanted to stay in misery.  Happiness or well-being had become enemies to me.  I fought anything that was good for me.

Yet, I knew deep down that in order to change the way I felt, I had to change the way I was acting and behaving.  I had to change those things that were not helping and embrace that which could help.  It didn't all happen at once.  I didn't change it overnight but I kept working towards the good and I kept trying and attempting to embrace that which would help me.

We do it before we realize it...

It is so easy for us to sabotage ourselves.  We can do it with the best of them.  We can do it before we even realize we are doing it.  However, it isn't helpful.  It isn't good for us long term.  We know that, but we still do it.

Sometimes people come along in your life and are there to help you.  Sometimes they reach out and if we keep pulling our hand back, we will keep sinking in the quick sand.  Sometimes the hand reaching out to us helps give us the strength to make it up out of the quick sand.  Maybe it just gives a temporary moment of rest and pause so we can find our way out of the hole of despair and depression.

The thing is, if we sabotage ourselves, we'll stay stuck in that dark hole.  We'll stay in that quick sand that keeps pulling us under.  Is it easy to get out of it?  NO!  No, it definitely is not.  It can require much more strength than we sometimes have, but that's where others come in.  They are there to help us through those difficult moments until we can find solid footing to stand on.

If you're in one of these deep dark holes of despair and depression, try this and see if it works.  If it doesn't, then keep trying until you find the thing that does.  Focus on one thing that you can do to help you.  It doesn't matter how small it may be.  Once you've been able to do that, then repeat again and again.  Don't reach for the stars immediately.  Instead of just focus on doing one small thing.

(click here to read)

Once you keep adding those things together day after day, you'll probably look back and be surprised at just how far you have come.  Don't give up.  Don't allow the quick sand to pull you under.  Realize you have much more strength than you can see and know that "this too shall pass".

If nothing else, I'm pulling for you.  I'm reaching out with a hand through my words here to offer a moment of strength and support.  You can do this.  You can do this!

By chance if you sabotage yourself, don't worry - tomorrow, you can always try to do something differently.  And if that day isn't as successful as  you want, the next day gives you a clean slate.
 
Leave a comment if you agree that you sabotage yourself or if you disagree.  I would love to hear your thoughts.
 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Creating Your Life And Self Sabotage

I recently found this video and loved it, so I wanted to share it with all of you.  Ever since the movie documentary, "What The Bleep" has aired, I have always liked and enjoyed what Dr. Joe Dispenza has said.

A company from Australia that I am now an affiliate called 180Nutrition interviewed Dr. Joe Dispenza and it was an excellent video.  I took  notes of the video and have tried to summarize them below to help you follow along with the video.

I did not realize that Dr. Joe Dispenza went through a horrible accident in a triathlon and to heal his paralysis from his broken vertebrae, he found a way to heal himself without medications and surgery.  Yes, the surgeons thought he had PTSD when he opted not to have surgery, but in the end, he conquered what life had thrown his way.

Take a look at 180nutrition, because these guys have similar views to healing and taking care of the body that I write about on this blog.  It is what attracted me to them and today I just tried their product for the first time.  It was delicious!  Here's the link for 180nutrition.

Notes From The Video

Speaker:  

Dr. Joe Dispenza with 180Nutrition Guys

Topic:  

Break the Habit of Being Yourself & Create the Life You Truly Want

Video Link (YouTube)

https://youtu.be/PYJbdOb93vo

Author Of:  

• Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself 
• You Are The Placebo
• Evolve Your Brain

1.  In 1986, he was injured by a vehicle during a triathlon and broke six vertebrae in his back.  Surgeons wanted him to have a procedure called the Harrington Rod surgery.  
• Dr. Dispenza said if it was a patient of his, he would have advised them to have the procedure.
• He opted not to go the surgery and the surgeon thought he had PTSD because no one ever opted out of this surgery for the condition he was in.
• He did not want to be paralyzed and in a wheel chair taking medications for the rest of his life.
• He decided to take the journey between the connection of the mind and body, realizing that some intelligence giving us life, if he could connect with it and surrender to it, then he felt he could heal himself.
• He went through hell and realized that this was much more difficult than he realized and much harder than simply stating this concept.
• Six weeks later he began to see changes.
• Ten weeks later he walked back into life and was doing races at 12 weeks.
2.  Meditation was a big part of how Dr. Dispenza healed himself
• Consciousness is awareness and awareness is paying attention.
• He reasoned that when he closed his eyes, he could eliminate the external environment, forget about the paralysis and the pain in his body.
• He did this for three hours every day.
• His mind would start to wander and then he would start the meditation process over.
• He stated that it took him a long time to anchor into his brain.
3. Why Do People Self Sabotage?
• The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you did the day before.
• The moment you decide to do something different, get ready because you're going to feel uncomfortable.
• To no longer think the same way
• To no longer make the same choice
• To no longer behave the same way
• To no longer have the same experience
• To no longer live by the same emotion
• You're going to feel unfamiliar.
• You are stepping into the river of change and the minute things don't feel good, that is when someone wants to return to their same chemical state.
• Going from the old self to the new self is crossing that river of change.
• It is the biological, neurological, chemical, hormonal, genetic death of the old self.
• Most people want to create a new life but they cling to the familiar self and emotions.  The moment they stop feeling the same way they always have, they feel uncomfortable.
• The body starts to send signals back to the brain that says start tomorrow, this doesn't feel right or you'll never change.  The person listens to that voice or thought as if it were true.
• The thought leads to the same choice which leads to the same behavior and the same experience and to the same feeling.  It feels right.  It is what they know.  It is what feels familiar.
• People don't believe they can go from one place to the other because when they are in that void, you can't predict the future.  The moment someone can't predict the future, they go back to what they know.  
• The best way to create your future is in the unknown, not in the known.
• Self Sabotage is what feels familiar.
4. When creating a vision of your future, are there muscles to train to keep yourself on track or faith that the outcome will be there?
• You're either defined by a vision of the future or defined by a memory of the past.
• The brain creates images and pictures which forms intention.  
• When we get clear on intention and the vision, it creates an emotion.
• You become inspired, excited, enthusiastic.
• The body lives in the future, not in the past.
• Like a garden, you have to keep feeding it and giving it life.
• If we use feelings as a barometer for change, we will talk ourselves out of possibility.
• The moment we don't feel like doing it, we turn back to our old self.
• The person that arrives at their goal and vision is because their vision is their compass.
• They will make choices consistent with their vision.
• They will get clear on the choices they are going to make.
• They will get clear on the experiences and behaviors they need to stay away from and the emotions that bring them to a lower denomination.
• People get too distracted with meaningless things that takes them to emotions that keep them from the vision.
5.  Placebo Effect
• Story of a study with cancer patients.  30% of the ones on the placebo chemotherapy treatment lost their hair).
• More than 40% on their way to chemotherapy that are told they are going to get nauseous, get nauseous on the drive there in anticipation of the treatment.
• Can we think ourselves healthy?
• If people are given a sugar pill, saline injection, false surgery or procedure, a certain percentage of those people will accept, believe, surrender to the though that they are getting the real substance or procedure.  
• They will begin to program their autonomic nervous system to make the exact pharmacy of chemicals that they think they are taking.
• Is it the inert substance or the body's innate ability doing the healing?
• In a depression study, 81% of the people given the placebo got better because they are making their own pharmacy of antidepressants in their body.
• More than 50% of people in pain studies given saline are having no pain because they are making their own morphine by thought alone.
• A pill in the quantum field represents getting healthy.  The moment you combine a pill with the possibility of an emotion such as hope, the combination of clear intention and elevated emotion takes the person from living in the past to living in their future.
• It is a scientific fact that the hormones of stress push the genetic buttons that create disease.  70% of our culture lives in stress the majority of their time.  
• You can think about something in the past or worry about the future and turn on the stress response just by thought alone.
• If you thoughts can make you sick, is it possible that your thoughts can make you well?

Conclusion

There is a good chance, I've missed some other great material in this video.  I just tried to take down notes for myself and share them with everyone.  You can use the notes as you listen to the video and you will probably get much more from it. 

In my own life, I have found to be true, what he says.  I too, was paralyzed but from a Conversion Disorder.  At one time I was told I would most likely never function fully in life and I would always be on medication.  The doctors were not sure if I would ever walk and hold down a job.  I was bound and determined to prove them wrong and I did.  I take no medication and anyone around me would never know I was once paralyzed and almost no longer alive.

There is so much we can do and hopefully you will listen to this video.  This is not new age mumble jumble.  It is stuff that many of us have already discovered and understand.

Thank you to Dr. Joe Dispenza for the video you did with the 180nutrition guys.  I hope to get the chance to attend one of your events because your concepts have helped me in my life.

Dare To Think Good Of Yourself

I couldn’t help but think of Joe Dispenza’s book today (Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself).  Last week was monumental for me giving the talk on relaxation.  I was so happy and excited that I did it and it came out well.  It took a great deal for me to push through my fears and follow through, not giving up like I normally would.

However, not long after that, I started to sabotage myself with the old routine of thoughts like "how dare you think good of yourself".  I started to tear myself apart, and my ego started saying – you’re no good – that was nothing, etc, and so forth.  It was like my ego was trying so hard to destroy this new path I’m on.  As a result, I was getting upset at every little thing and today my body was in so much pain.

Finally, I got on the massage table and had a friend do some laying on of hands while I did things I know to do.  Just connecting with the painful areas and breathing into them while having the touch ground me, my physical body changed and with it, so did my mind.  I came off of the table work feeling more grounded, calmer and more at peace.  When we change the mind, we change the body and when we change the body, we change the mind.

Self Confidence And Believing In Myself

Sometimes I struggle daily with myself.  Sometimes, no matter what I feel like I'm biologically wired to see the negative, instead of the positive.  Self confidence and believing in myself often take a beating.  One such example happened yesterday.  Instead of burying into this like I normally do, I'm going to write about it and shine the light of day on this struggle in my life.

What may seem like a routine repair to some, is like an accomplishment the size of flying to the moon for me.  Our pool pump motor had gone out in the lightening storm a couple of nights ago.  After much time trying to figure out what I needed to do and not wanting to spend any more money than we absolutely needed to, I realized I had to replace the motor.

I'm not a mechanical person and I dislike doing repair work so much that I'd rather not do it.  On top of that, I'm often afraid that I will just mess things up and so I can talk myself out of doing the repair work quicker than a snake can shed its skin.  Ugh.. I hate that analogy.  However, I am usually able to figure out many things and will generally find a way to fix something, within reason of course.

Trauma Recovery: Self Sabotage

As a Trauma Survivor - Things I Struggle With:

1) Hips and legs still don't move freely
2) It's hard for me to realize people like and love me
3) Too often I see my life as a struggle
4) I focus more on what I don't have, than on what I do have
5) I convince myself that I am not good enough
6) I'm afraid I will fail at anything I do
7) Often I feel I don't fit in with the world
8) It is difficult to see that things will get better
9) Do I have the determination and courage I need

It is amazing when I begin to think about the good things coming my way in life, how I sabotage everything. These are deep rooted and long held concepts that have cemented themselves into my mind. While I wish that I would not believe these things, I know deep down that I do worship these thoughts.

When it states in the Ten Commandments of the Bible, "Thou shall not have any other Gods before me," maybe what is truly meant is different than we've been taught. Yes, I know the church teaches that this is all about worshiping idols. What if it had a focus on my inner being or inner spirit, which this is the God that I must worship? It is the God within me. Allowing the fears to rule my life would mean that I am allowing other Gods before me. My awareness is the God within me. Perhaps the passage from the Ten Commandments refers to honoring and respecting the spirit and awareness within my body or the power I have within myself.

It is too easy for me to wander through life discounting so much about myself. Other people I know are able to see things within me, that I exclaim to myself, "I'm not good enough!" Where I see a lack of self confidence, others see in me, strength and determination. Even though I see my life as a struggle, the universe and the angels see my life as unfolding in the manner it is meant to happen. When I focus on not being good enough to accomplish a task, others already know I have the ability to get it done!

Even as I write these words and struggle to let these things go in my life, I hear the voices in the back of my head saying, "who are you kidding?" "Do you really think you can change?" I try to tune the voices out but they continue to talk with gusto and strength.

Then I realize that the voices or the old tapes I hear are nothing but fears. They are the fears that haunt me day and night. They are the fears that paralyze me while holding me back from action. I recognize each one of them. There is not a one of them that is unfamiliar.

I have no idea how to let go and release these long held fears of my life. I desire freedom from the things I struggle with in my life. I no longer wish them to be my king, yet I give them the power. It would be a joyous moment in my life if I could see myself as the angels and others see me.

The only thing I know to do in order to move past this, is acknowledge that all of these struggles and fears I have in my life are a part of who I am. Each one has made me who I am. Each fear and struggle has brought me to this one moment in time. It is now my choice to continue holding them fast in my arms or releasing them to the angels to be transformed and transmuted.

The question I leave for myself is "what will be my choice?" Will I allow myself to tap into my courage and strength to let these things go? Will I allow myself to part company with something that feels like a major part of who I am?

Of course I am the only one that can answer these questions for my life. I am the only one that can choose to let go of these parts of my life. Ultimately, I am the only one that can allow all of this to unfold in the space and time that it does, being patient and understanding with myself. It is up to me to fully love and accept myself just as I am in this current moment. The rest will work itself out when I'm ready to travel down the rabbit hole of life.

Note: After reading Chapter 2 (Gifts) in the book "Walking Through Illusion" by Betsy Otter Thompson, I was inspired in my own thoughts, which led to many of the things that I wrote today in my morning meditation. On page 23, the quote she wrote had a strong impact upon me. "Disappointment comes from thinking that life should be different. Enjoyment comes from thinking that life is wonderful the way it is."



(Above Picture taken at home in my backyard, FL - (c) 09/14/10)

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