Support For Partners of Survivors

Question From The Mailbox: What is it from a survivors viewpoint that your partner can do to help you in your journey? What do you need from them?

Answer: Just be there supporting me with love, not judgment. Allowing me to travel into the depths of this stuff without feeling like they need to rescue me. I'm sure it is different for everyone on this but I will travel deep into the dark parts and it may look like I'm losing it, but I always come back. Without those dark moments, I could not get through what I need to. The more I hold back and try not to go there, the harder it gets the next time. I know it isn't easy for my partner to see this but he's great about allowing me the space to go where I need to go. My partner, since he's a survivor also realizes that we trigger each other and that my triggers don't mean I love him any less - they just are things I have to work on. So to me, understanding, patience, pure love, and just holding the space are the things that really help me grow through this.

(c) 11/27/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only