Thursday, November 4, 2010

Walk Through Open Doors

Walk through doors that are open and learn from the ones that are closed. I keep being confronted with this concept over and over in my current life. It just fits for me and the reminders show up in many places. I ponder what it means to walk through open doors.

Really, the open doors do not bother me because it seems so simple to walk through them. Of course, there are fears of what may be waiting beyond the door frame. It is an unknown that can only be experienced as one decides to walk through. There is no way to understand what may be found as you step through. In many ways, the open door may be inviting but frightening at the same time.

Closed doors seem much more difficult at this point in my life. In many ways I do not understand why some doors appear to close. I find myself wanting to go up and force the door open because it bugs me to no end that it is closed. It provides a barrier that I am not allowed to walk through. I feel enclosed and confined.

In many ways, I view the closed door as something which was once given permission to me but now has been taken away. I feel deprived, restricted and antagonized by the closed door. In my mind, I wonder what I did wrong to cause the door to close. How did I fail in my life to cause this to happen? I am perplexed and haunted by these thoughts. My thoughts persecute me over and over through out my day.

While I desire to just forget the closed doors, my heart feels sadness for the longing of these doors. Sometimes I wish that these doors would not have been known to me because the pain would be less. However, I know that without these doors being a part of my life, there would be much I would have missed.

Yet, if I solely focus on the closed doors in my life, I will be robbing myself of the joys which are all around me. I will be missing opportunities because my focus will be on the illusion instead of the reality.

The doors that open before me are there to draw me further into life. How can I search and seek what I need in my life while I exist with my eyes closed? How can I walk towards open doors only to get to the door and instead of walking through, I turn around and focus on the closed door behind me?

I know that life is about taking steps forward. Sometimes it is difficult to do this because of the unknown. The closed doors are there for a reason that may not be in clear view at this moment. It is okay to mourn for the loss of the closed door but I remind myself that this gave me the opportunity to reach the next open door of my life.

The closed doors will always be there and they will be a significant part of my life. Closed doors in many ways mean that I am taking steps into deeper awareness of my life. May I rejoice and celebrate the closed doors as I discover what is beyond the next open door.

(Above Picture (c) 5/06/99)

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