Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Is Anger Good Or Bad?

Is Anger Good Or Bad?
I often see many people fearful of anger and exclaiming how bad anger is for your life.  In some instances, I have even seen people portray anger as something that should not be present in your life.  There is an ever growing trend in our society that anger is not healthy.

Yet, in my view, anger is a healthy emotion.  It is normal.  It is part of who we are and the range of emotions we experience.  Anger is something that can push us forward in life or help bring about changes that need to happen.  It is part of our existence, no matter how much we want to believe otherwise.  For without anger, how can we truly know what peace is?  Having one emotion without the other is not living a balanced life.

I believe the difficulty comes in that we truly don't understand what anger is in our lives.  What we have seen of anger is some big mean monster screaming in a rampage and destroying everything within reach.  I may be exaggerating a little but I think in many respects, that is the view of anger in our world.  Yes, these people do exist and we all see them every day from the table pounding people in a business meeting to the fathers taking it out on their children or even the person who loses it and screams in a tirade against some injustice.  We all know them and we've all experienced them in our life.

There is a healthy way to show anger and release anger, but all too often, we are not taught to do that in life.  We are raised in a way that does not give us the tools to release the anger appropriately.  Many people stuff the anger deep inside giving themselves stomach ulcers, digestive disturbances and most likely increasing the chances of a shortened life.  It is an epidemic problem in our society and world because when the anger is not released in a normal way, it builds up until it explodes like a volcano.

I can still remember at one point in my healing where anger was starting to surface, and I was so afraid of it coming out.  In fact, the thought of it showing up would almost paralyze me on the table in a healing session.  I struggled to embrace it and let it out.  I struggled to release the anger that was so much a part of my life, my body and mind.  Yes, I had good reason to be angry for what I had been through, but I was slowly killing myself by holding it all in.  Dr. Canali would urge me that there are safe ways to let it out and to my ears, it felt like he was talking in a foreign language that I could not understand.

In life, I've gone through moments in the recent past, where anger has almost consumed me.  I went from being afraid to let it show, to being filled with anger that screamed and yelled as if there was no tomorrow.  Only a select few people ever got to see this and I felt so ashamed for this anger inside of my body.  Yet, the anger was consuming me.  It was eating me alive.  It was causing deep body pain and tension that was too difficult to endure.  A body rash showed up twice on me because of holding in the anger that I was feeling.

I cannot sit here and type that I have 100% figured out how to deal with anger in my life.  I am learning and I have learned so much but I still struggle with it.  It feels like it has subsided and it feels like I am finding options when the anger begins to boil within me.  There is a balance I know between feeling anger and expressing it, but when you've been through the situations I have, the lines are blurred in understanding this concept.

You can read some of the other blog posts below of ways I that have helped me deal with anger and how I have released it in my body.  The thing is though, sometimes we need to go through moments of anger in our life, to consume that which we don't need, thereby helping us to discover the diamond within our self. 

Holding anger in is never a good thing long term.  Learning how to let it go and how to acknowledge it in a safe manner, is critical for our health.  It is important to note that it is never justified in taking the anger out on anyone.  Anger is a very forceful emotion with a great deal of energy.  Often, it takes more than just a single moment to release the anger within our bodies.  Until we begin to find that place of peace inside of us, anger will rear its head.  Once we have found that place of peace within us, than we will be able to put anger in its proper perspective and embrace it as a moment of change and greater awareness in our life.  Anger can be good or bad, depending upon how it comes out and for what purpose you allow it to release in your life.

Related Blog Posts On Anger
1)  Ways To Release Anger (Jan 24, 2010)
2)  Anger In Our World (Jan 5, 2011)
3)  Trauma:  Release Anger In The Pool (Sep 16, 2010)

Blog Post & Images (c) 11/23/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

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