Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Why Do Things Get So Bad Before We Wake Up

I received a question via email that I thought was very good.  It challenged me to answer it, but that is fine.  I like to be challenged with questions because it helps me go in and focus on things that I need to refine in my own mind.  It helps me grow and I welcome questions.

The question was:

Why is it with human beings that things have to get so bad, so horrible, almost to the depths of hell, before we wake up?  And then, we forget again.  It is like history is repeating itself over and over.

My first thought goes to peeling the layers of an onion.  When we hold an onion in our hand, it is made up of many layers.  If we could gently remove the outer layer, we would see another layer.  As we keep pulling layers back one after another, we see more what lies beneath it.  However, until we pull that top layer off, and then the next top layer off, we will never see what lies beneath it.

It takes courage to go in and remove the layers.  It takes strength and confidence and a willingness to leave all that we know, while venturing into the unknown.  This is not easy for humans to do because the ego is strong.  The ego holds us back from truly seeing all things or allowing ourselves to see all things.  Our experiences in life hold us back from seeing what we need to see, but that is part of the journey of life as we discover ourselves more each day.

Our baggage and experiences...

Sometimes it is just not easy to go in and deal with life and all our baggage and our experiences.  Sometimes these things are so difficult and intense and horrific that to muster up the courage and strength to go in and see them, requires an almost Hercules type of strength.  Our ego and our mind tell us instead that it is easier to just survive and numb out or hide and disconnect from all of this.  We convince ourselves that to neglect and avoid this stuff is by far our best option, when in fact that just robs us of the strength we need in order to heal.

We don't know there is an alternative...

Often we don't know there is an alternative.  How our life played out seems more normal than going in and uncovering that which appears odd, strange, and anything but what it should be.  We are often conditioned in our early years of life to accept what we are shown and taught and to disregard anything that falls outside of these parameters.  Even the most horrific moments that we endure can become so commonplace that we have absolutely no idea that there is anything beyond it.  We cannot see that others don't experience the same thing.

Don't rock the boat...

We live in a society where people urge us to not rock the boat and upset the apple cart.  Often, if we do challenge the status quo of our own life, we are connected to others that would rather remain asleep for the same reasons listed above in what I just wrote.  It is easier for them if we don't travel into our journey, because it leaves them feeling like they are out on a limb all by themselves or that they are damaged.  They desire not to see it and by our journey of discovery and healing, it creates a moment where our life becomes a mirror reflected back to them that they are trying desperately to avoid.

Moment of growing and learning...

Sometimes, it is just a moment where we are growing and learning, even if it seems like we are revisiting history and have not made much progress.  These horrific moments of pain and suffering we have lived through are not easy.  They have often lasted a lifetime and are connected to so many neural pathways with fingers stretching to other moments in life.  Even when it seems like we are revisiting them, it is then that I believe we are going in and reworking the networks of all the tiny little neural pathway fingers.

Far too overwhelming for the mind...

It is not easy to do this all at once because it would be far too overwhelming for the mind.  The mind wants to protect us and keep us alive, but if we throw the entire war at it in one moment, it will be too much.  It takes time to go in and dissect the neural pathways of the brain and consciousness.  It requires us to use the microscope to look at the layers in a much deeper way.  All of this takes time.

Healing is not a linear sequence...

Healing does not unfold in a linear sequence.  There are parts of one pain that are worked on while other parts of a different pain may be unfolding.  Those little parts of different pains may be connected in some way that we are not aware of or conscious of and yet they need to happen before the next step takes place.  Without these various parts, we cannot build the foundation we need for longer lasting healing that goes deep into our own consciousness.

If you have ever watched a computer hard drive defragment itself, you can see that some of the bits of information need to moved out of the way so you can rewrite that part of the memory.  It isn't that all of the parts are bad, but they are standing in the way of seeing the complete picture and allowing you to view life in a new way.  Once you organize the parts and clear the empty space, the memory begins to function together better.  The computer is able to use its resources more effectively.

How we learn and grow...

I think one final thought that comes to my mind is how we learn and grow.  If you went to a class to learn some new technique, I'm sure you could repeat the class and learn so much you didn't get the first time.  Our minds can only comprehend and understand so much at one time, based upon our circumstances and experiences of life.  Even though we think we've learned the lesson, there are most likely parts that have not yet been learned.  If we learned everything in one single moment, we would diminish the future parts that life has in store for us.


It may be that history is repeating itself, but often this means there are parts that have not yet healed and are finally able to surface so we can begin to look at them.  The history part is the unconscious connections to parts that we were not able to see how they fit together.  As they come up and then come back for us to look at again, we are often stronger and more focused and more able to have those ah ha moments.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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