Monday, October 11, 2010

Trauma Recovery: Intense Healing Moments

Life, healing and trauma recovery can really get intense. It does not take much to make ordinary moments into stress filled days. The little things connect with moments from the past that often appear as fireworks shooting into the sky.

It could be a simple word spoken or a photograph from days gone by. It may even be a sight, a smell or a sound. Our brains are so intricate and complex with nerve pathways connecting the amygdala to the conscious moments of the past.

I am amazed at just how intense healing moments can sneak up and attack. For me, this is the same story I have written about and discussed, yet the power behind it is strong beyond belief. The emotional charge it holds, acts as if I am its slave. The memories that lie open for me to view make my eyes want to close with disgust. My body reacts as if it is in battle fighting all enemies known and unknown.

During the intense moments of healing, I feel as if I am all alone. It seems that no one truly understands. It feels as if everyone disappears. I reach out but I feel no hand to grasp. Are they there, I wonder? Am I on my own just like I have been throughout my life?

It is a confusing time of anguish as I sift the nuggets of gold from the rocks. I'm really not sure from one day to the next, how to make it through the moment. Rest, peace, and comfort seem illusive to me. They evade me with gusto.

The only thing I know to do is to continue putting one foot in front of the other. Even though the head winds are strong, I must not stop. I must not quit. I have come so far. For in these difficult moments, may I never forget that I have walked through similar times.

Let me be as a bird on the power line, observing all that is going on. Help me to realize that these intense moments are pushing me through the fire into greater awareness. Help me understand that these intense moments may challenge me to the limits physically, emotionally, and mentally. Let me not forget that I know I am much greater than the sum of these attacks.

Keep me hopeful that these moments will soon pass. May I remember that the calm water amongst the clear blue skies will emerge with beauty, hope and a renewed strength for my life.

(Above Picture taken - (c) 08/19/10)

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