Saturday, October 2, 2010

Joy From Sorrow

Losing someone you love or were fond of is never easy. It is much harder if you never got the chance to say goodbye. Whether it is through an unexpected event in life or just not finding out until later, one can never be prepared.

All too often it touches on the nerves that are connected to other losses. The pains we felt of saying goodbye to someone or something we loved are unearthed. It is like a connection or a bridge to previous encounters of letting someone pass away from life.

Death is never easy no matter how you look at it or frame it. Loving someone or something gives us so much joy in our life. Saying goodbye in death, feels like that joy which has become a part of us was ripped out from our bodies. It often feels like the end of the world after someone has died and that nothing will ever take the pain away.

I've lost far too many people and pets in my life. For a long time, I never allowed myself to grieve for them. Grieving was not easy for me because it involved allowing myself to feel many emotions. Early on in life, I was just shown that I was to move on and not allow myself to feel the emotions. However, I have learned that grieving and allowing these emotions is a necessary part of life. it is what helps us find the joy we shared with what we lost.

At times the process of grief seemed long and as if it would never end. There were times that I did not feel as if I could make it. At times, tears flowed as easily as I took a breath. However, with time, life began to balance out and the pain I experienced in loss, once again became joy for my life.

When the joy emerged from the sorrow, I was able to remember so much of what I shared with the person or the pet. It was almost like I had to travel through the tears to see the beauty.

Each person or pet that we love gives us so much. Through our connection with them, we give much back as well. The beautiful moments of what we shared will stay with us for a lifetime. We will realize one day through the tears, all that we received from those we were closely connected to. Through loving gratitude, we will celebrate so much and the pain will diminish.

We will observe that our life is much stronger, better and more full for having these special connections. There may even be things that will take us time to recognize. Deep down, these connections will share a very important part of our life.

Even though we are not able to talk to these people and pets who have passed on, in the same sense we once could, I believe we can talk to them at any time. I believe they are around us and they hear us. They, of course, remain in our hearts and our minds as we think about them through the eyes of love.

Above image taken from memorial website "When Tomorrow Starts Without Me"

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