You Don't Understand

I've seen this happen so much lately, it has made my head spin round and round like a child's toy top.  People say far too much, "you don't understand" and this really hurts me to no end.  The pain that statement inflicts is just as bad as if they pulled a gun and took a shot.

Years ago, I was at an event and this person that was in a wheel chair was trying to be strong.  I was trying to help them a little and they really got angry at me.  They stated strongly to me and in no uncertain terms that I just didn't understand what they were going through because I was not in a wheel chair.  Their eyes got real wide when I looked at them and said, "oh, but it wasn't but a few years ago that I was!"

It leaves me scratching my head...

I've had moments online lately that I have truly tried to be encouraging and then heard the words, "you don't understand".  It always leaves me scratching my head because if the person only knew just how much I truly did understand, they probably would blush with embarrassment.  I always think, but if I have missed something, why not try to help me understand, rather than just dismiss me as being "stupid".

I know we all have our difficulties and our struggles.  I know some of us face some very tough and insurmountable odds in getting through our days.  I get that.  I've been through those moments and if you go back through this blog, you will read many of them.  From depression, anxiety, suicide, paralysis, Conversion Disorder, full body rashes, body pain like no other and just trying to deal with the many circumstances of life - yes, I think I have a pretty good idea of what others go through.

Maybe I don't fully understand...

Maybe my experiences don't match up to yours 100%.  Maybe I don't fully understand what your day is like or what that particular part of your story means.  Maybe I see things through my life's experiences and not necessarily your filters, but it does not mean I don't understand.

I feel for others more than most will ever know.  I hurt when I see others hurt.  I want to scream when I see injustice.  I want to rid this world of the pain and I often feel like I'm not enough to help.  To say, "you don't understand" to me is like a big slap in the face.

What if instead of saying "you don't understand", that maybe you help someone understand.  Share more of your story.  Write about what you are going through.  After all, these are ways to help heal and make sense out of what is happening when it seems like nothing makes sense.

I write on my blog and in my tweets the things that I know have helped me.  I write to help give a brighter outlook on things or to give hope that things can change and get better.  I write to help give a different perspective or conscious awareness that may is hard to see.  At no time is my writing about inflicting hurt upon another.

Challenged to look further....

The things that helped me the most in addition to understanding and compassion were the moments when I was challenged to look further, to be more than that moment, and to see other ways I could view what was taking place.  It was in challenging those uncomfortable moments that I began to find my way forward.  I try to do the same with everyone I meet.

I wrote this blog post some time ago about Holding The Space For Someone and I think it matches up to the point I'm trying to make here.

Question Of The Day

What other ways can people help us heal and progress in life or understand what we are going through?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Thought I Knew It All

At one time, I thought I had it all together.  I thought I knew it all.  When it came to taking care of myself, of course I did that.  When it came to eating right, of course I did that.  When it came to understanding all things about the universe and being spiritual, of course I did that.

The thing is, I didn't know as much as I thought I knew.  I had swallowed up all that had been shoveled down my throat by my family, society and the church.  I was gulping it as if it was my last meal.  Unfortunately, it didn't get me too far in the direction I needed to go.  Sorry, if this doesn't sound like something you want to read, but it is the truth.

We can convince ourselves...

We can convince ourselves that we know all, but when our actions don't align with what we think and say, then who are we fooling the most?  We all do it, whether we want to admit it or not.  Its part of being in a human body that is functioning every day.

I am not saying this because it is a pie-in-the-sky concept.  I've seen it first hand in my own body and I've seen it in a lot of other bodies.  We often don't know as much as we think we know or see or understand or believe or I could go on and on.  I know that steps on toes.  It stepped on mine many years ago.

Back in 1991 when my life came crashing down and I took my last breaths of air, I realized one thing.  What I thought I knew was not what was true.  In fact, in order for me to heal and come back from the brink of death, I had to discard most of what I had been taught.  I had to discard most of what I thought I had learned.  It was the only way to move forward and to walk again and to function normally in life.

Yes, I tried to convince myself and others that I knew a lot, but when life knocks you flat on your butt and you are gasping for your last breaths, you realize just how much you don't know!  You begin to see what you have not seen up until this point.

Yes, I fought it.  I didn't want to change and let go of all that I depended upon in life.  I didn't want to let go of the foundation of what I thought I knew.  Yet, the more I was clinging to it, the more my life was drifting out of my reach.

Afraid to let go...

I see many that have done the same thing I did.  I see many that cling on to that which does not work, but they are too afraid to let go.  I was too afraid as well to let go.

I'm not going to sit here today and tell you what you have to do or how you need to get to your next point on the journey of your life.  This is for you to figure out and understand as you take steps.  How would I know the truth of what lies ahead for you anyway and if you listened to me on that, you'd be missing the best part of discovering that truth for yourself.

If we are talking about truth and fact and fiction, the following blog post addresses this in more detail.

 

(click here to read)

We, as humans, are super pros at convincing ourselves that we know more than we do and we have life figured out more than we do.  Its called being human.  However, the evolution of our consciousness and awareness is what leads us to discovery.  Its the moments where we let go of all that we know and venture into the unknown that we truly discover more about ourselves and who we are as humans.

Question Of The Day - Have you ever had a moment where you thought you knew it all?  Leave a comment below and let me know if you or have not.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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