How Did I Heal?

Sometimes we have no clue what to do to get out of the situation we are in, but sometimes that is where we need to be.  I know, I know, this may not sound like normal advice, but it has been true for me so many times in my past.  The more I fought the situation, the more I struggled to get out of it.

I didn't get anywhere in my healing by staying where I was and while it is easy to write these words now, it was anything but easy in that moment.  When I faced that moment of never walking again or functioning again from the paralysis brought on by a Conversion Disorder, I thought all was lost.

When I started dealing with the sexual abuse and nightmares, I thought all was lost.  In the early days of my own healing, there wasn't an internet full of support groups.  There were no readily available groups to be a part of or shows to watch.  I was pretty much on my own.

None of my healing was easy to come through.  No step was clear before I took it.  There was no way I understood my path forward or even that a path forward existed.  It felt like a fog of despair full of loneliness, depression and anxiety.  Actually in those days, I didn't even realize how depressed I was or how much anxiety I had.

The only thing that truly got me from point "A" to point "B" was that I kept trying to take a step.  I didn't know where to put my foot in taking the step, but I just lifted it up and set it down.  Often I could not even see where it would land, but as I set it down on the ground, everything became a little more clear.

Parts showed promise and parts wasted my time...

I worked at learning all I could and trying to identify everything around me that I could.  I saw something that looked like it might help and so I checked it out to see what it could do for me.  Some things worked and some didn't.  Parts of some of those things showed promise while others just wasted my time.

Most of the time I could not even see what was working and what was not.  I just went with how I felt and if there was even a momentary benefit to it.  If there was, I would see if I could repeat that and what it did for my mind and my body.   Sometimes I could isolate a part that was helping and then I would discard the parts that didn't help.

Sometimes we get hung up on needing to know the answers before we move forward that we ignore what is right before us.  It is too easy to shun that which is helpful because we are looking for that which fits into our view of what works or does not work.  As humans we tend to want to know everything before learning what we need to learn.  It is like a dog chasing his tail.

I always keep in my mind that if what I was doing up to the point of the paralysis of Conversion Disorder did not work, why should I continue to use that as a frame of reference for healing my life.  Often I needed to throw out all I knew so I could discover what it was that I didn't know.  Once I threw out what I thought I knew, it was then that I found the piece of my healing I so badly needed.

Healing isn't about repeating the steps of the past hoping for a different outcome.  It is more about throwing the past out with the weekly trash and stepping through with courage into the unknown.  It is in surrendering into the unknown that we will truly find the healing before us.  It is a process that we will most likely repeat and learn over and over again.

No, it isn't an easy process.  It takes a lot of work and often that work sucks big time!  There's no other way to state it.  To sit where you are and expect someone else to heal you will only keep you where you are.  There are many that can walk beside you and help steady you on your path, but it is up to you to step out with courage and surrender into the unknown of healing.

---

Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

---

Walking Through Muck

I remember a long time ago a therapist gave me an example about difficult moments in life.  She told me that sometimes we have to walk through the muck and the mud to get to higher ground.  In many ways, this is the case.

Unfortunately when you're walking through the muck and mud, it isn't easy.  Each step can take a great amount of energy to pull your foot up out of the muck and place it down again.  Each step you take can leave you wondering if it is really worth.

You may wonder if you have the strength or the energy to get to take the next step.  You may think that just taking a step is useless and question if this is even the right thing.  Often, you can't even see the higher ground, so you just have to convince yourself to take another step.

God only knows that I've had more than my share of muck and mud to travel through in my life.  Sometimes, I just don't know if I can keep going.  Sometimes I don't know if it is worth it.  Sometimes I just don't have the energy to take one more blessed step.

It is the little things that sustain me.  It is the people who are truly close to me that matters.  It is me convincing myself that I need to take another step and then another and then another.  No matter if the steps are difficult and they seem futile.  I must take another step.

Just to convince yourself that you need to take another step is sometimes far too difficult to comprehend.  It is a challenge when we stare at all we can see in our life and it appears empty and foggy and disconnected.

As I have and am walking through the muck, I am urging myself to be okay with where I am.  I'm asking of myself to just accept where things are, rather than fighting the mud I now stand in.  For fighting will only drain my energy and my resolve.

I know of no other way to deal with this at the moment.  I know of no other way to find the higher ground.  I know of nothing else to do, but keep trying to take one step at a time and hope that at some point, the muck will give way to higher ground.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

031616

Walking Forth With Courage

In my life, there are many things taking place.  I'm taking steps to create the life I want, not the life I thought I had to live.  It isn't always easy and sometimes the growing pains are immense.  However, I am now in the process of walking forth with courage.

So many times we say we want our life to change.  We want things to be different.  We want to get past the despair that we have.  Yet, we do very little to do that.  We hunker down from the mere suggestion or thought of fears looming over us.

You can consult every person out in the world or you can ask everyone you know what you should do.  You can wait for them to answer and then continue to keep asking the questions.  However, until you take action, you will still be in discovery phase.

Walking forth with courage is the way you'll discover your life and all that it holds.  Taking action will get your feet moving and your fingers tapping.  It doesn't start though, until you take action.

Life Is The Mountain

If you knew of a spectacular mountain that was very, very tall, yet climbable.  And if it was well established that from its peak, you could literally see all the love that bathes the world, dance with the angels, and party with the gods. Would you curse or celebrate each step you took as you ascended it?

Wow, when I read this daily email from "The Universe", it hit the right spot within me.  It says so much in a few little words.  You can also get the daily email  by checking this website out - "Notes From The Universe".

Take The First Step

I found the following picture posted to Dr. Wayne Dyer's Facebook page and just had to share this.  The picture depicts this concept so well.  If you look closely, you will notice the words "You don't have to see the whole staircase - just take the first step".  How more perfectly could this thought be stated.

Taking the first step is the key to finding your way through anything in life.  When life gets difficult and it is hard to know where to turn, you just have to take a step.  Sometimes that first step is the hardest because we are not sure if it is the correct one, or what will be the outcome, but if we just take the step we will find out.  It will give us the opportunity to find out if it is the step we need to take or it will teach us something more than we currently know.

Don't worry about identifying everything about the step so that you will be certain if it is the right one or not.  Trust your heart, your intuition and your body to help guide you.  Once you feel it in you, then take the step.  Don't delay!  Don't wait for another moment to come along urging you to take the step.  Just take the first step.

Unseen Steps

In life, I am beginning to define who I am and what I am about. It is not the easiest of times but I feel as if my discovery is exactly where i need to be in this moment. It doesn't pay the bills and often I get discouraged but deep down, I know this is part of my journey to all that is ahead.

If I do not walk these steps, I will not be prepared for what lies around the curve. I must follow my intuition and my gut feeling, no matter how difficult the next steps become on my journey. In the end, I will look back and be amazed at just how all my steps were in sequence even when they were difficult to see.

Yes, it would be easier to just not have to deal with any of this in life and hide my eyes from all that I experience but that is not growth. This is avoidance. I have hid myself from these things for too many years of my life and no longer am I content to do that. I can see how many light years I have traveled and in the difficult times, this gives solace to my soul.


Blog Post & Images (c) 12/8/10 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Stepping Into

When I drew this chalk picture, I had no idea what I was about to create. Rarely do I sit down and draw anything because I just don't feel that is my area of expertise. So when I do sit down and draw, it usually takes me by surprise. This is a simple picture but it is jam packed with meaning and significance for my own life.

You see, many times throughout my own life, I've been afraid at what lies ahead. You could even say, I am at one of those moments right now. I am sure that I am not alone as others experience this as well. Often we do not talk about those fears and if we do, many around us quickly tell us to just live for today or go on about our lives and not worry. While there is some good intentions to that, this could short circuit this part of our life and hold us back in many ways. The fears are real, the people are real but the outcomes are what is important.

Often when we face that unknown darkness ahead, we sometimes spend so much time staring at it that we forget what lies behind us. All of the things that we have carried with ourselves up to this point gives us the strength, the courage and the determination to move forward. It is all part of us. It helps us find the footing when we step out into the unknown.

In the picture, the house depicts a sense of security, starting point, origin, and grounding for our lives. It is the safety point from which we emerge. It is the fortress from which we draw strength. It is the beginning point for moving forward. The terrain reminds us of how much we have overcome and how many difficult steps we have already taken. It is the reminder of all that we have accomplished when we begin to doubt ourselves. The tree is for bountiful sustenance and a further anchor to hold on to. It is the strength we see in many ways as we begin to step forward. The birds are there to remind us of the joys we do have in our life and the gratitude for all that we are. Behind the person looking into the unknown is the wind that comes along in our life. It is the people, places, knowledge, self discovery that propels us further. While it seems the wind is only to the person's back, it is helping propel the person and give them strength and energy to keep stepping forward.

Many times we have no clue what each step we take, will bring to our path. We just know where we have traveled from and so as we take a new step, we are reminded of all that there is in our life, to move in the direction we need to go. We have no need to push it or pull it or change it. We just need to take the step forward for taking the individual baby steps forward is what makes the unknown familiar to us.

Battered but Standing

Some days when we get battered by the storms of life, it can become very rough. We wonder at the time if our lives can withstand the storm that is hurling its furry upon us. We wonder if we can be strong enough to survive another round and to keep on moving forward with each step. And yet we know, after all we've been through in our lives, all we have to do is look back over our shoulder and see just how far we've come. We can take comfort knowing that we have moved forward and that what we currently see in our path is not where we will be tomorrow.

So as we realize just how many steps we've taken and just how far we have come, let us also remind ourselves that there is no need to worry about the road ahead. For we are able to overcome the obstacles of growth in our path. They will make us stronger, more aware, more conscious and mold us into humans that have the ability to keep walking in the face of future storms.