Commenting Online Without Thinking

I'm always amazed at just how people respond online. Back in the good ol days of administering message boards, I remember people would comment without thinking. Soon thereafter, a war on the message board would be started. Nowadays, it is not confined to message boards, but to all areas of the internet like news articles, news pundits and social networking sharing.

Lately, I've seen some stories appear on the headlines of the local news sites and it isn't but a matter of moments before people start posting horrible comments. Now, I know that not everyone agrees with each other or likes what the other stands for, but when a story of tragedy hits, is it really a good thing to make hurtful, mean and disrespectful comments?

The discourse in this world is sad, especially in the US! We see it on TV, we hear it from our politicians, the media pundits, and then from all the everyday citizens who comment on the news articles with their biased rants of opinion disguised as fact.

Even after the Oprah show, I remember having people send me some not so nice comments about the Male Survivor episode (Nov 2010 – Read Blog Post). Most people were generally supportive but a few really put the sour icing on the cake! Some of my own family were supportive but a few treated me as though I didn't exist because I exposed a family secret.

We all need to stop and think before we sit down and type some anonymous comment out on our computer screen. Even though we cannot see the person on the end and have no idea who they are, our vicious tongue does nothing to build up this country and this world. A well thought out response stated with respect could be a moment of change for many instead of another person adding gas to a forest fire! We may feel we are correct in our views and opinions but if we don’t learn to think and respect each other, there will be no one left to listen to what we say.


Further Reading:
1) Quiet Please, Just Listen
2) Needing To Be Right


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Blog Post & Images (c) 6/06/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
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Clutter In Our Life, Part 8

Clutter #8 - Thinking We Have The Answers
Part 8 of 10

Time and time again, I observe people talking fast, forcefully and sometimes preaching what they think it is that they know. Anymore on TV, the news pundits do this and so it continues over into life.

Just take a moment and look at any internet site from facebook to message boards to news comments and see how far it spills over. When people spend the hours watching these news show personalities proclaim their opinions as truth, it alters reality.

However, you can even walk into any given church on a Sunday or into any new age spiritual circle and see the same thing take place. If most of us realized that what we are saying to others is as much (if not more) for ourselves than it is for others, we might actually help the entire world evolve.

So often, we spread our opinions as facts and we try to convince everyone that they are fact when in reality, it is nothing more than the illusion of opinion.

Come back tomorrow for part 9 of this series, Clutter In Our Life. Below are the various parts to this series that you can read as well.

Clutter In Our Life Series
- Introduction
Part 1: Spending our hours watching TV news
Part 2: Keeping Ourselves Constantly Busy
Part 3: Numbing Ourselves
Part 4: Following Blindly
Part 5: Food Choices
Part 6: Health care, Doctors, and Medicine
Part 7: Hydrating Our Bodies
Part 8: Thinking We Have The Answers
Part 9: Exercise Is For Another Day
Part 10: We Fail To Evolve
- The 30 Day Challenge


Blog Post & Images (c) 3/20/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Mindful Words

I am always amazed at just how everyone sits behind a computer screen these days and can type anything to anyone and never fully know them or even know what they look like, who they are or what they are about. Because the screen doesn't force you to stand face to face with someone, it is much easier to just type words that you would not otherwise say.

Several years ago, I saw this on internet message boards where people would not think about the words they wrote but just automatically type whatever came to their mind. Often they needed to just sit on it and think about it before typing what they wrote. It is just too easy to respond and much more difficult to think about the words that should be said, if anything.

Of course today, on every news story posted online, there are comments and ratings and replies. People are either spammers or trolls and often there is no discussion of the facts, just an outright manner of whatever you feel like typing is what goes. People have no interest in looking at all sides of an issue when posting online. That is too difficult for our simple minds and our mindless ways in our world.

It just doesn't stop on the internet either because now there are talking pundits from all walks of life and from all ends of the political spectrum that just shout their opinions and words and facts rather than listening to what anyone has to say who differs with them. Each person on TV tries to see how much they can get their point across without even taking a moment to stop and truly listen to the other person. It is interesting that all sides of the shouting have their "documents" and "research" and "polls" to back up what they are saying. Stop and think about that last statement for a minute. It is interesting that everyone has their research, documents and polls as proof of what they are trying to proclaim.

We tend to live our lives in a mindless way, not paying attention to anything but what is currently on our mind. The media feeds into this and so many spend a majority of their life allowing the media to feed their brains. I hope that one day, we as a society will wake up and understand what we are doing to ourselves.

We are not helping ourselves, our society or the world by seeing who can shout the loudest, who feels they are more right than anyone else and those across the political spectrum that are convinced that they know what is best. In fact, we are hurting not only the people we shout at but we hurt ourselves individually and collectively as a society.

At the end of the day, most of the things that everyone gets so upset about, they really do not matter. In the end, the bigger person is the one that can walk away from all of it and see a bigger picture. Our world and our lives do not need to be this way. There is another alternative that we can be part of but we must make difficult choices for our lives.

My hope is that all of us will wake up and begin to learn how to be mindful in our day with our words. With becoming mindful, we will learn what truly matters and how we can build one another up and evolve as we are meant to be. We as humans are meant to be much more than we currently are. Let our words show how much we truly care for each other and how much we want to evolve ourselves and the world.

And the mindful word of the day is hiybbprqag. Sorry, but I thought this made up word was too cute to not include here after I read the article about the search engines. I'm wondering how many though will mindfully read this and even see it.



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/31/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

David And Goliath Meet Fear

For most of my life, fear has been one of my driving forces in all that I do, the decisions that I make and the things that I choose. Fear is prevalent. It is everywhere and in everything and is often a part of us. However, the thing I'm learning in life is just that I can stand up and face the fear head on, and then let it go.

In my early days of therapy, I would remember my therapist asking me to "name" the fear that was coming up and then we would talk through what is the worst thing that could happen. Once we did that, we would talk about what I could do if that happened. By doing this, I soon found out that most of my fears were just not as big and powerful as I thought they were. Yet, when you are looking at them face to face, they are often gigantic monsters.

Do you remember the bible story of David and Goliath? Where David took his little slingshot and a pebble and brought down the giant? Just think of fears in that way. They seem like they are bigger and more empowering than us but all we need to do is use our little pebble of courage and determination to take them on. Once we decide to do this and let go of the fear that holds us, the giant falls to the ground.

Fear though can show up in so many ways and often we do not recognize it. From the speeches of politicians, to the talking loud mouths of pundits on TV and the media doing their daily news reports, it is all filled with fear. Even the weather forecasts these days are fear based. Take a moment and think about this. When you turn on the TV or whatever it is that you're listening to, you hear them talking about some issue, some concern or topic. And if you take a moment to look at that and see the "fear" behind what is being discussed, how does that impact you? For example, let's say we turn on the TV and they are talking about some terrorist plot that is being cooked up but they do not have concrete details, just that it might involve a football stadium or some other public place. What's your reaction? Do you get a twinge of unease within your body that maybe the football game you are going to could be the possible target of the terrorists? Most likely you do at some level. Well, guess what - the media has been successful in instilling fear within you that you didn't have before you watched or listened to the program. I'm not saying you need to hide your head in the sand and be oblivious to what is happening in our world, but I am urging you to realize that most of the stuff is fear based. And if you don't believe me, put on your objective glasses and pay attention to what it is that you take in to your eyes and ears from the media and talking pundits in a day. Evaluate it and look at it. Don't just accept it.

Another source of fear is in the medical world of health or what we perceive health is. All of us have been through a moment where either our self or our loved ones run up against a physical condition. What do we do first? Please be honest here. Let me repeat this. What do we do first? We usually try to find something we can take to alleviate the pain, the condition or situation. If we have nothing that works, than we head to the doctor. We may demand tests or medications or procedures to "cure" us of this condition. But if you take a moment and look within all that's going on, fear is alive and well. Fear feeds upon us and we feed upon fear. It fuels all kinds of biological conditions and most of us are oblivious that this is going on. Yes, sometimes a doctor is needed to treat things. That's not the point I am trying to make here. The point is, when we come up against a biological condition in our bodies, let us first look within ourselves as to the cause instead of going into the fear that will only make things worse. If you do this, everything will be more different than you can imagine.

Fear can also show up as anger where someone is so angry and they try to bite everyone's head off at every chance. They rule with control and they belittle anyone that tries to alter what is going on. They can be loud and boisterous making sure that everyone hears them or they can talk a mile a minute dominating every conversation. In the end though, it boils down to the fear these people face and by using these different behaviors, it adds a layer of protection between them and the outside world. After all, if the fears of a person are great, it can be to much to connect with anyone around them in a meaningful and deep way.

Fear often has a way of keeping us from truly walking the path that we so deserve and healing from those moments in life that were very difficult. It is much easier to paste a fake smile on our face and try to convince the world around us that we have 'moved on' from all that we may have experienced. I know this is true because I've spent a lifetime doing it. All of these things get locked up in the body. They are somatically a part of us just as is any body part is a part of us. While we try to separate the two, fear and somatic memory components are as much us as we are them. And while you're trying to convince the world around you that you have moved on, deep down within yourself (if you let yourself go there), you know that this isn't true. I completely understand just how difficult it is to stand up and grasp fear in your hands. It seems to be much easier to run away from it as fast and hard as you can but in the end, fear will find you out.

There are so many ways fear shows up and if we begin to keep an eye out for it, we'll start to see it. Fear is an energy drain and it robs us of so much in life. When fear builds up to a high level in our lives, we become overwhelmed and we either deal with it or it deals with us. Yes, sometimes we can go for a long time and it seems like everything is fine but deep down, our body is hurting and getting ready to explode like a volcano. We'll see this through aches and pains, weight issues, medical conditions, depression, anxiety and so on and so forth. These conditions are a result of something in our body that needs to be healed and something that we are hanging on to. It is the direct result of fear showing up and controlling our lives.

Waving a magic wand to get rid of it would be nice but there is no such thing. I get messages all the time about "products" or "healing methods" that allow you to bypass the fear. I have heard this so many times that I cannot even keep track of it. Yet, each person, healing method or product is convinced that something they offer is the key to your well being. Unfortunately, there is no way around fear. The only way to do it is to go head first into it and take back the power it has robbed from your body. You can create the illusion for yourself that method or product x works but if you're really and truly honest with yourself, you'll see the fear hiding deep in the shadows.

Again, I know it isn't easy to do this but once you take that pebble and put it in your slingshot, you too can drop the giant, Goliath, to the ground. It may not be easy nor as instant as we are accustomed to, but it will be life changing and long lasting. That which you can feel in your body and connect with is where healing comes from. It does not come from methods, procedures and products. The methods and procedures that have you totally connected with your mind and body that allow you to go into the fear - now that's the way to heal!

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog