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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
David And Goliath Meet Fear
For most of my life, fear has been one of my driving forces in all that I do, the decisions that I make and the things that I choose. Fear is prevalent. It is everywhere and in everything and is often a part of us. However, the thing I'm learning in life is just that I can stand up and face the fear head on, and then let it go.
In my early days of therapy, I would remember my therapist asking me to "name" the fear that was coming up and then we would talk through what is the worst thing that could happen. Once we did that, we would talk about what I could do if that happened. By doing this, I soon found out that most of my fears were just not as big and powerful as I thought they were. Yet, when you are looking at them face to face, they are often gigantic monsters.
Do you remember the bible story of David and Goliath? Where David took his little slingshot and a pebble and brought down the giant? Just think of fears in that way. They seem like they are bigger and more empowering than us but all we need to do is use our little pebble of courage and determination to take them on. Once we decide to do this and let go of the fear that holds us, the giant falls to the ground.
Fear though can show up in so many ways and often we do not recognize it. From the speeches of politicians, to the talking loud mouths of pundits on TV and the media doing their daily news reports, it is all filled with fear. Even the weather forecasts these days are fear based. Take a moment and think about this. When you turn on the TV or whatever it is that you're listening to, you hear them talking about some issue, some concern or topic. And if you take a moment to look at that and see the "fear" behind what is being discussed, how does that impact you? For example, let's say we turn on the TV and they are talking about some terrorist plot that is being cooked up but they do not have concrete details, just that it might involve a football stadium or some other public place. What's your reaction? Do you get a twinge of unease within your body that maybe the football game you are going to could be the possible target of the terrorists? Most likely you do at some level. Well, guess what - the media has been successful in instilling fear within you that you didn't have before you watched or listened to the program. I'm not saying you need to hide your head in the sand and be oblivious to what is happening in our world, but I am urging you to realize that most of the stuff is fear based. And if you don't believe me, put on your objective glasses and pay attention to what it is that you take in to your eyes and ears from the media and talking pundits in a day. Evaluate it and look at it. Don't just accept it.
Another source of fear is in the medical world of health or what we perceive health is. All of us have been through a moment where either our self or our loved ones run up against a physical condition. What do we do first? Please be honest here. Let me repeat this. What do we do first? We usually try to find something we can take to alleviate the pain, the condition or situation. If we have nothing that works, than we head to the doctor. We may demand tests or medications or procedures to "cure" us of this condition. But if you take a moment and look within all that's going on, fear is alive and well. Fear feeds upon us and we feed upon fear. It fuels all kinds of biological conditions and most of us are oblivious that this is going on. Yes, sometimes a doctor is needed to treat things. That's not the point I am trying to make here. The point is, when we come up against a biological condition in our bodies, let us first look within ourselves as to the cause instead of going into the fear that will only make things worse. If you do this, everything will be more different than you can imagine.
Fear can also show up as anger where someone is so angry and they try to bite everyone's head off at every chance. They rule with control and they belittle anyone that tries to alter what is going on. They can be loud and boisterous making sure that everyone hears them or they can talk a mile a minute dominating every conversation. In the end though, it boils down to the fear these people face and by using these different behaviors, it adds a layer of protection between them and the outside world. After all, if the fears of a person are great, it can be to much to connect with anyone around them in a meaningful and deep way.
Fear often has a way of keeping us from truly walking the path that we so deserve and healing from those moments in life that were very difficult. It is much easier to paste a fake smile on our face and try to convince the world around us that we have 'moved on' from all that we may have experienced. I know this is true because I've spent a lifetime doing it. All of these things get locked up in the body. They are somatically a part of us just as is any body part is a part of us. While we try to separate the two, fear and somatic memory components are as much us as we are them. And while you're trying to convince the world around you that you have moved on, deep down within yourself (if you let yourself go there), you know that this isn't true. I completely understand just how difficult it is to stand up and grasp fear in your hands. It seems to be much easier to run away from it as fast and hard as you can but in the end, fear will find you out.
There are so many ways fear shows up and if we begin to keep an eye out for it, we'll start to see it. Fear is an energy drain and it robs us of so much in life. When fear builds up to a high level in our lives, we become overwhelmed and we either deal with it or it deals with us. Yes, sometimes we can go for a long time and it seems like everything is fine but deep down, our body is hurting and getting ready to explode like a volcano. We'll see this through aches and pains, weight issues, medical conditions, depression, anxiety and so on and so forth. These conditions are a result of something in our body that needs to be healed and something that we are hanging on to. It is the direct result of fear showing up and controlling our lives.
Waving a magic wand to get rid of it would be nice but there is no such thing. I get messages all the time about "products" or "healing methods" that allow you to bypass the fear. I have heard this so many times that I cannot even keep track of it. Yet, each person, healing method or product is convinced that something they offer is the key to your well being. Unfortunately, there is no way around fear. The only way to do it is to go head first into it and take back the power it has robbed from your body. You can create the illusion for yourself that method or product x works but if you're really and truly honest with yourself, you'll see the fear hiding deep in the shadows.
Again, I know it isn't easy to do this but once you take that pebble and put it in your slingshot, you too can drop the giant, Goliath, to the ground. It may not be easy nor as instant as we are accustomed to, but it will be life changing and long lasting. That which you can feel in your body and connect with is where healing comes from. It does not come from methods, procedures and products. The methods and procedures that have you totally connected with your mind and body that allow you to go into the fear - now that's the way to heal!
*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog