Granted, before you huff and puff and try to blow my house down, let me tell you that I'm a little jaded on this subject. I got spanked and whipped and beat. In my eyes, its hard to see the difference. While it might have worked on me to keep me in line, it allowed me to be brainwashed into doing and saying and thinking whatever my dad wanted out of me.
You might say, "well it wasn't all that bad". I'd have to reply, "no - not if you think abuse and molestation was okay because I was too afraid to stand up to him". You might say, "well, you are an exception". Unfortunately I think that logic holds little water because I believe there are a whole lot of people out there like me.
The thing is, I truly think most parents over react or that is what I see as an outsider. I see them trying to control every move that the kid makes. If you're a parent, you might disagree but from the outside looking in, that's what it looks like.
Then, of course when the kid doesn't do what the parenting figure wants, they make sure that kid knows what is coming and then the kid feels it. It is almost like the parent is on autopilot and unconsciously taking their stress and anger out on the kid.
You might be ready to tell me I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about and that's okay with me. I'm just trying to get people to think a little and open their eyes up a little because I don't think this love for "spanking" is as helpful as we all want to believe it is.
I've seen the damaging effects of parents gone too far, both in myself and in others. My favorite example is when you see a parent hitting a kid because they hit someone. Using the same thing you are telling them that is wrong to get them to know that it is wrong. Where is the logic in that?
I wish parents would stop and slow down at times and de-stress themselves first, before striking (opps, I mean spanking) the kids. I wish parents would count to 10 and calm themselves down before spanking the kids. If you insist you must do it, at least get yourself out of the emotional state first.
There are far too many kids out there that have been damaged by parents thinking they were just disciplining them because that is what they got as kids from their parents. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see a continuation without much consciousness in this action.
Touch can lift our kids up and let them know we love them or it can destroy them. It is up to each parent to choose which they do, but I think many parents out there need to take a chill pill. We act like these kids today do things that we never did and yet, our parents probably said the same thing about us. I know - I know - as we grow up, we tend to forget it.
I'm not going to tell you that spanking should not be done. I can't say that. I will tell you though, I believe there are other ways to interact with your kids and if you aren't actively learning those, then spanking isn't going to yield the positive result in my view.
This is just something to think about in hopes to raise the bar a little. Its my view of course, but my view is based upon the abuse that I went through. It has taken me forever to get beyond what was done to me and my body still feels it, even when I try to forget.
Blog Post And Images (c) 11/8/15 by Don Shetterly
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