Child Abuse Prevention Month

This is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart.  If you have read this blog for any period of time, you'll know what I went through as a child.  I do not think we are still doing enough to stop child abuse.  It is far too prevalent in our society.

I'm dedicating this blog post to Child Abuse Prevention Month.  It is my attempt in helping those who are suffering in silence and who still suffer in silence.  There are far too many boys and girls, men and women that experience this.

Back in 2010, I was fortunate to be part of one of Oprah's last episodes on 200 Male Survivors.  While it was an opportunity of a life time, I still remember sitting there crying most of the time as I heard the stories of fellow survivors and connected with moments of pain that still reside in my own life.  I can still remember connecting with Tyler Perry's story of abuse where he talked about being beaten so badly.

If you think child abuse stops having an impact when the abuse stops, I've got news for you.  Long after the child abuse ends, the effects are still ravaging the child who goes on to become an adult.  It is like a forest fire that consumes everything in its path.

There is no easy way through it and often it leads to many more difficulties for the victim.  Many child abuse survivors fight like hell to overcome it and their days are not easy.

The best thing we can do is bring to light any instance of child abuse.  When we shine a light on the truth and we demolish the secrets that are being kept, it is then that we will have a fighting chance to stop child abuse.

One myth that gets perpetuated is that child molesters are some scary looking monster hiding in the trees that the child does not know.  Yes, there are these people.  However, the majority of child abusers are known to the child.  They live in their homes, churches, schools, and communities.

It is time that we as a society say this MUST STOP.  It is time as a society that we say, if you are going to abuse our children, you will not be allowed to function freely in our society.

If we are truly intent on stopping child abuse, we would get rid of the statute of limitations for these crimes against humanity.  We would wake up and stop letting child abusers hide in our churches, communities, schools, and homes.

It is up to each one of us, but if you know of someone being abused, don't sit by in silence.  For if you do, you are just as bad as the child molester abusing that child.

If you want to read more about some of what I went through, you can check out my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma on Amazon.

#saam2016

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Resources for Survivors

There are many resources out there for survivors of child sexual abuse. While many of these may be for male survivors, some of them would equally apply to female survivors as well. By no means is this list complete and to make it complete, I'm sure it would easily become a book.

If you have a resource that helps survivors heal, please feel free to email me and I'll update the list or just leave a comment with the information in it and I'll publish it that way. Either way works fine but my goal is to provide as many resources for survivors as I can along with links to more information or various books.

This may become too large for one blog post and if it does, I'll put this all in a pdf and upload it with a link. I'm not sure how large this will get but I'll keep adding to it until I find I need to change the format in how it is displayed.



BOOKS:

1. Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly

2. Father's Touch by Donald D'Haene

3. Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

4. Leaping Upon The Mountains by Mike Lew

5. The Fishfly by Rob Maniscalco

6. Boys Cry Too by John Mark Clubb

7. Unpinned by Grant Watkins

8. Unraveling the Threads: ... by Ginny Moye

9. This Tangled Web by Kate Swift

10. Men In My Town by Keith Smith




BLOGS

1. Mind Body Thoughts Blog
A blog dedicated to healing and development in the area of how our minds and our thoughts connect with our awareness.

2. The Beckstead Group
Inspiring and Motivating people to enhance the best Human Beings that they are.

3. Men In My Town
A blog about the book, "Men In My Town" written by Keith Smith




ORGANIZATIONS

1. Male Survivor.org

2. Men Thriving.org

3. 1 in 6.org

4. Surviving Spirit.com

5. RAINN

6. Survivors Of Incest Anonymous

7. Women Speak Out

8. Just Tell.org

9. Stop Abuse Campaign

10. The Coming To Life Project




THERAPISTS

1. Dr. Howard Fradkin - Columbus, OH.

2. Mike Lew - Jamaica Plain, MA.

3. Dr. Paul Canali - Miami, FL.




SUPPORT GROUPS

1. Men's Peer Support Group (Toronto) - Stephen MacDonald




TV & MEDIA

1. Oprah - Resources For Male Survivors

2. Big Voice Pictures - Boys And Men Healing

3. Boyhood Shadows Project - Boyhood Shadows: The Film




OTHER

1. The Child Abuse Survivor Monument Project



MUSIC

1. Music About Life - Michael Skinner Music

2. Relaxing Piano Music From The Heart - Don Shetterly




SURVIVORS AND FRIENDS

1. Survivors And Friends.org



Note: Please feel free to link to this list or use these resources to help advance the recovery and prevention of child abuse. I will try to update this information as I hear about things, so please keep checking back. If you use this information, I would greatly appreciate a credit or link back to this blog at: http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Migraine Headaches

For most of my life, I suffered through daily headaches, including migraine headaches. As a kid in school, there was hardly ever a day missed where I didn't suffer from a headache in the afternoon. While Tylenol, aspirin and other over the counter things were tried, they gave me very little relief. Usually, it meant just living with them and at some point (normally by the next morning) they would go away.

As I got older, the migraines started in. I had witnessed my parents suffer through migraines and so I just assumed that popular medical science was correct in stating that migraine headaches were hereditary. I figured, I would live with these the rest of my life just as my parents did.

When my mom died, the frequency, intensity, and duration of the migraine headaches increased. It wasn't long before I was missing days of work, taking trips to the emergency room and taking prescription Imitrex to function in life. I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor at massage school puking my guts out and just wishing I would die as the migraine headache continued to intensify. I could not even drive myself home that night let alone it was almost impossible to walk out of the building to get in my friend's car.

As I continued to talk to people who suffered from migraine headaches, one thing became achingly clear to me. These people were struggling to find relief from anything that worked. Prescription medications as well as injections would work initially but then after some time, these things offered little or no relief. I still remember my horror and shock at hearing these things because I could not imagine going through them with out something that took the pain away. So my quest began to find ways to not have to suffer from these headaches and migraines. I was not at a point where I thought they would ever go away but if I was able to slow them down and decrease the intensity of them, I would consider that a great joy in life.

In the following article posted on CNN, Headache Prevention - Headache Awareness, they list many good things to consider in the treatment and prevention of headaches.

Common Triggers

• Stress
• Drinking alcohol/red wine
  
• Sensory overload — exposure to bright lights, loud sounds, strong smells
  
• Not drinking enough water
• Too much sleep or not enough sleep
• Exercising too rigorously
• Hormonal changes
• Not eating frequently enough
• Smoking
• Straining your eyes reading or sitting at a computer
• A difference in your caffeine intake
  
• Food additives or naturally-occurring substances, including nitrates in processed meats, MSG in fast food and Chinese food, tyramine found in certain aged cheeses and soy-based foods, and the artificial sweetener aspartame

Headache Prevention

• Good posture
• Move around during the day
• Use the right pillows at night when you sleep
• Stay consistent in your life with your
  
• Get an appropriate amount of sleep
• Stick to an exercise routine
• Healthy diet
• Drink plenty of water
• Stay away from caffeine, soft drinks, tea
• Manage stress

These common triggers and prevention techniques are all good but unless you find a way to get to the underlying cause of the headaches, they will continue. Stress, in addition to diet and exercise is a very good place to start. Even if you are unsure of how to get relief from your headaches, begin today to do something. For when you begin that process and if you allow yourself to learn and go from one step to the next, you'll most likely be as surprised as I have when you no longer suffer from these.

For me, I gave up on the medications because I could quickly see that they were not going to solve the problem. I began to see a chiropractor, Dr. Canali in South Miami and while I did not initially go because of the migraines, it helped me greatly. I'm not saying that I don't ever get severe headaches but I don't get them on a daily basis nor do they get as intense as they were getting. I've learned as well, how to deal with the stress in my life as well as the underlying causes. Life is so much better since these have gone away. Most importantly, I found out that migraine headaches are not a life sentence and they don't have to haunt you each and every day of your life. In addition, I don't have to rely on medications to take care of them either.

If you are suffering from headaches, don't just accept the fact that some "cause" is the end all to them and there is nothing you can do. Don't accept that for a moment! Know that in many cases, there is so much more you can do than you might be aware of and allow yourself to hunt for the right solution in your own life. Just don't settle for the status quo and for medication as a long term fix. Like I shared in this, I thought it was a life sentance but have since found out that it is not. That just makes me want to get up and dance the happy dance!