Book Outline: Why Won't This Itching Stop?

I'm putting this out there as it is a book I am about to start writing. While I don't normally let these things out like this, I realize that no one can write this particular book from my story because the facts are only known to me and a couple other people whom I trust.

Like I said - I'm putting this out there - giving the thought to the universe in hopes that it will be published.



BOOK OUTLINE

Goal:
To keep the book focused on my journey through the itching ordeal I suffered giving what happened along the way, the insights, the struggles and how I came through this. My hope is to bring the actual science in from Dr. Canali in what all transpired and how what happens in the physical body is connected to the trauma and opportunity to become more aware of ourselves. I will draw upon my journal entries, emails and blog postings to help put this book together.


Other:
My goal is to keep the book relatively short but packed with personal experience and science. I know there are many suffering from itching conditions and I want this book to offer some help through what they may be facing or at least give them something to consider and think about. This book will not include my entire story / history but enough to explain the ordeal I went through. The entire story is for the next book.


Introduction:
Setting the scene as to what this book is about and why I am writing it.


Chapter 1:
Before the itching, things were moving along pretty well, and then it started in such a subtle way.


Chapter 2:
As the itching picked up, life grew extremely frustrating and almost to the point I could hardly keep going. Sleep issues, nightmares, night sweats, terror. Everything that I tried to get the itching, rashes to stop and all the store bought stuff that failed. Being afraid to venture outside of my 4 walls, not being able to wear many clothes even though it was cold and winter time,


Chapter 3:
Finally going to get work done on me by Dr. Canali and being so afraid that not even he could help me on this. I was petrified that this was going to take me under. Seeing the changes in the first session of the first day. Seeing the hope and possibility. Working through things and having small unconnected images to what was behind everything until the point it finally came together and created the complete image. The emotions through this, the fear of it.


Chapter 4:
Beginning to recover and growing through the fears – how I did this, what helped me and that it was a process.


Chapter 5:
The science behind the ordeal (narrated or written by Dr. Canali )


Chapter 6:
The story that came out of this ordeal of the abuse that this connected with. (Have to deal with what I can state legally as to who the “perps” are without getting turned down for publishing or setting myself up for a lawsuit. An issue I have to deal through in this.”

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Body Memories, Abuse Memories & Trauma Recovery

I know I've been quite vague about what is going on and I'm not sure I'm at the point of writing too much yet. But I'll try to write a little so at least I'm not leaving everyone in the dark.

For the past few months, I have been going through intense itching on my body which of course led to a rash. It included a lot of body memory pains, night terrors, night sweats, and eye sight that was failing me. I have struggled to sleep in the past two months because either I could not shut my eyes for the terror that would hit me or if I got to sleep, I was waking up around 2am or 4 am. Many nights I sat up reading a book until daylight came where I could finally go back to sleep a little. However, the quality of sleep was lacking and so I was walking around as I was half asleep. It got to the point that I was crying at anything, everything and nothing all through the day. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness that I couldn't shake and it was unlike anything I had ever dealt with before. I was struggling to get myself to eat as I had no appetite. Anxiety was through the roof and my anger levels were in the "rage" category. My mind would not stop racing no matter what I tried to do. I saw deformities in very personal areas of my body and I saw things change on my skin from moment to moment. At one point, I wondered if I had truly gone crazy. Believe me, I tried many things that I know work for me to get through this and nothing seemed to do anything.

Before Christmas, things got real rough and I was able to talk to Dr. Canali at several times which really helped. Right after Christmas, we made a trip to Miami and I had several sessions of work done on me. By the afternoon of the first day down there, I could already see an improvement. A lot came out and at least I went from feeling despair and hopelessness to possibility and hope that I could get through this. It was during one of these days, that I finally slept through a night without waking up. Of course that was short lived but it was a welcomed relief.

Right now, i'm doing better. Many of the physical symptoms have greatly reduced or are going away. Each day, I see an improvement. I'm still waking up at 2am or 4am almost every night. Usually when that happens, I go to my treatment table and do some work on myself which helps me move past it and allows me to fall back to sleep. Last night though, I slept through until 5am and then i struggled to get back to sleep until daylight hit this morning.

Today instead of just itchiness waking me up, it was a burning pain through out every inch of my body that just about drove me insane. My anxiety and anger levels were way up today and I was feeling like I was going back into that deep dark hole that I don't want to be in. So I once again, went to my treatment table and started working on myself with the tools I have to do this. It isn't easy doing it on yourself but we're too far from Miami to just get in the car and drive down at any time. After the work on the table my resting pulse rate dropped from the high 90's into the low 70's using my Finger Pulse Oximeter Octive Tech 300 Pro Pulse Meter to check this

Out of the work I did on myself today, a story emerged that is connecting the dots. I'm not ready to share that at all right now but up until now, all I had been getting was "implicit memory". Implicit memory is basically everything but the story or events - (example: kind of like feeling a car crash without knowing that you were in a car crash). I'm exhausted and wiped out at the moment but maybe now with the story that is emerging to connect the dots, I can finally begin moving beyond this. The itching and pain have already subsided from what they were earlier today. They may kick back up as I process things but I welcome any moments of relief.

I know that through all of this and healing from it, there is so much more waiting for me. I can already see and feel what those things are but right now, the pains are still pretty raw. I didn't ask to remember any of this but it sort of took me head on and I really have had no choice but to work through it (unless I wanted to remain in the physical situation I've been in). At the moment, even though I'm very tired, I can feel a big weight being lifted off of my body. And I do know, that there is a reason for all of this - that's what keeps me going.