My Trauma Is Worse

My trauma is worse than your trauma.  No, my trauma is worse.  You don't know how bad I had it.  I had it so much more!  Of course, I'm being fictional here.  Please don't take this that I am saying this emphatically as the truth.

Have you seen this scenario play out though?  I have seen it a million times and it really gets under my skin to be honest.  I do understand how horrible trauma can be and that it can really make it beyond difficult for a survivor to face.

In the early days, the trauma you have been through feels like some big monster choking the life out of you. It does feel like no one understands and you're all alone.

Your story is valid...

I've had people hear my story and then think that their story wasn't valid.  It always saddens me.  Each person who has been abused, beat, traumatized or whatever the case may be has their own story.  My story isn't any worse.  Yes, in some ways I've experienced a lot, but that doesn't mean I am any more special.  

Trauma is Trauma!  I'm sorry if that sound too simple but it is.  Yes, we all have our degrees of trauma and types of trauma, but holding that as a badge of honor will not get anyone very far.  Yes, I had to learn this the hard way too it seems.

Don't bite their hand off...

If someone offers you a hand of understanding, have the compassion to thank them for it or at least don't bite their hand off for offering it.  Understand that they have no way to know what you have been through until you share your story with them.  Don't expect them to understand something they don't fully know.  Getting mad at them will only distant yourself from others that may be there to support you.  It alienates people so that they walk away with a bad taste in their mouth and more likely than not, are more reluctant to support others in the future.

Anyone who has been through child abuse or other trauma has a long road of recovery ahead of them.  We're all in this together and there is no need to fight one another as if we somehow have it worse.

Sometimes good intentions fall short...

Yes, sometimes people make statements that are well-intentioned but they fall short.  You can always get angry and upset with them if you want or help them understand what it is that you know so they can be there for you in a greater way.  The more we educate others, the more we advance the understanding and treatment of mental health issues.

Let's join arms and hands and walk together into a greater love and light and understanding then we have known before.  It benefits all of us if we do this.

Here's another blog post that I wrote some time ago which applies to this one. Click on the image below to check it out.  (Therapeutic Listening For Suicide And Depression)

A Question For You?

So, I have a question for you to think about and hopefully add as a comment in reply.  Do you sometimes bite the hand of support off even from someone that is well-intentioned but falls short?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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The Destination Is Our Intention

What we focus on with our intentions is the direction that we travel. Just as if you get in a car, enter your destination into a GPS and begin travel, so to, this happens in life. We focus on where we want to go, we plug in our destination and then away we go.

Even if we decide to take a detour and find an alternate route, our GPS of life works to chart a new route towards our destination for us. We don't have to worry about it or think about it, the recalculating just happens. No matter what turns we take or what roads we choose, we still manage to arrive at our destination point.

Of course, the entire time we were taking an alternate route, we could have filled our self with worry. Yet, the worry would not have added anything positive to our trip. It would have not gotten us there any quicker. It might have made us feel the illusion of being productive but it would be an empty feeling. And even if we worried and felt as if we did not know where we were going, we still arrived at our destination.

In addition, if we would have focused on the worry of getting to our destination, we would have missed the sights and joys of the journey. The road would have become a blurred line to follow rather than something to experience. We would miss so much along our route.

It is not so important in life, if we know exactly what roads we will take. We all have a destination that we are traveling to. The most important part is that we begin travel and enjoy the journey. yes, there may be potholes, construction and detours, but our destination is what matters. It is what we want to keep our focus on. The destination is the intention and our focus on it, gets us there.


*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog