Sharing Appreciation With Those You Love

Today's topic is one that I struggle with in a big way.  So, as you read this, just realize that I'm writing it to myself.  If you connect with it, you most likely struggle at sharing appreciation with those you love.

Sharing appreciation is something that should be normal, but it isn't.  At least for me, it doesn't come easy.  I want to be able to do this more, but for some reason, it slips my mind.

Growing up, I didn't get many words of encouragement.  My dad was highly critical.  My siblings were often jealous and so they didn't give any words of encouragement.

Teachers were highly critical...

Teachers were often highly critical of everything I did.  I still remember those book reports in second grade where the teacher belittled me in front of everyone.  I struggled writing them and instead of working to encourage me, she did just the opposite.  In first grade, it was math.  In college it was that I was too shy. 

There were many bosses that were critical of everything I did, but very seldom ever said a nice word that you're doing a great job.  They just figured I knew that I guess.  They were more generous with the negative criticism then praise or appreciation.  The bosses I've worked for who understood how a little appreciation could go a long ways were the ones that got 1000 times more out of me.

Relationships can end up sometimes taking everything for granted.  Its easy to do.  You see each other day in and day out.  You get to the point where you just know what the other person will do and what they are thinking.  It seems that way.  However, taking the other person for granted is really degrading to them and the relationship.

A spark that ignites something new...

We all have had our trials and tribulations, but sometimes when another person shares appreciation with us for something we did, it can be a spark that ignites something new.  It can turn a day from a horrible nightmare to one of hope and possibility.

Sharing appreciation with those you love can be the difference between going to bed after a day gone bad, to one of more restful sleep.  It can be a moment where it helps propel tomorrow to new heights with just one little small act of appreciation.

Simple but powerful...

It does not have to be elaborate.  It does not need to be grandiose and for all the world to see.  It can be very powerful even if a very small thing that hardly is noticed.

Sharing appreciation does not have to stop with only those that we love.  We can extend it to strangers that cross our paths, fellow employees at work, or someone random we interact with in a day.

(click image to read)

We can spread the appreciation and it will multiply around the world.  One little act that we do can have such an enormous impact upon that person, the world they interact with and the world that all those people interact with in a day.

Sharing appreciation can be far reaching, but the act begins when we share it with another.  Until that point, it doesn't exist.  Go ahead, share your appreciation with someone today and see just how it changes their life and how far it ripples out.

Question Of The Day

Did you share appreciation with someone you love and if you did, what did you observe?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Love And Accept Myself

I am amazed at how I view my life and creativity. It seems like nothing I do or create is ever good enough for me. It is never perfect enough. No matter if it is music I create, words I write or a task that I do, I always focus on the potential imperfections. In addition, this spills over to where I often don't see myself as being good enough to warrant others liking or loving me. I am afraid that if my my creativity or tasks that I do are not perfect enough or good enough that others will laugh and sneer at me or worse yet, they will be angry and hate me.

This is something I have battled for years. While I have made progress, there are times that I am so critical of myself. It is difficult going through life in this way because often I hold myself back from doing things I would enjoy. It does rob me of my precious energy in my life. Instead of enjoying life, I am too busy critiquing everything I do and everything that I am. I am my own worst critic.

Yes, I know where the roots of this behavior come from. As hard as I have worked to overcome and smash these old tapes that play, I am still haunted by them. They are like ghosts who visit my consciousness while my fears run wild.

Other people could tell me a million times that something I create is wonderful. They could tell me that I am loved or wanted and while my ears hear the words, my brain and mind filter them into oblivion. Someone could be proud of accomplishments or tasks I have completed and all that will be going through my mind is what I could have done better or different. As someone once told me many years ago, I need to quit beating myself up. I am much harder on myself than I need to be.

It is easy for me to be critical of myself but is difficult to fully love and accept myself. If I could just see myself as others see me, life would probably be different. If I could just put the fears of my life into perspective, the terrain in front of my feet would probably not be as frightening.

At one time, this behavior of being extremely critical was my way of surviving through events that were horrible to experience. However, they are no longer needed as my life is no longer experiencing those events in a direct way. My mind however, continues to see these past threats as something which is still currently taking place. If I could just fully love and accept myself, there is no telling what possibilities would lie ahead for me in my life.

I think of the song by Shaina Noll, "How Could Anyone" that is so powerful. The words are as follows:

How could anyone ever tell you,
You were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you,
You were less than whole?
How could anyone fail to notice,
That your loving is a miracle?
How deeply you're connected to my soul.

I still remember hearing that song for the first time and the power behind the words. At one of the lowest points in my life, I played that song at morning and at night to help convince myself that I could love and accept myself. It was difficult to do this but so healing and helpful in my life.

I am haunted by what was taught to me and I long for freedom from these moments. I do need to recognize that I have made great progress. Many things have drastically changed for the good in my life.

At the same time, I need to continue embracing all the parts of myself. One of the greatest rewards I can give myself is to fully love and accept myself. It will be the harshest punishment to those who taught me to hate myself. It will be the greater liberator that I know.

Further Reading: How Could Anyone, Posted on June 17, 2009

(Above Picture taken in Chicago, IL - (c) 10/19/10)