Social Media Drive- By

Most likely we've all seen this happen and more than likely we've done the same thing ourselves at some point.  I call it the social media drive-by.  It happens far too often by far too many that claim that all others do this, but not them.

It is when someone responds to a social media post without reading the whole thing and begins preaching to you about what you need to do.  It is when someone shares something, but has no idea what was in the social media post they share.  It is when someone shares something that is sensational but doesn't fully check it out to make sure it is true.  Since others share it, they might as well too.

No one uses an ounce of common sense it seems or stops to think about something.  They just willy nilly share the darn thing because it might be the most vital piece of information the world will ever know.  Unfortunately, most of the time with about 5 seconds of a google search, you can see how untrue the "greatest information piece" actually is.

When you can barely wait to tell the person how they should live their life and what they should do and who they should base their life beliefs upon, there's something a little off here.  After all, do you really know that person in one small little tweet or Facebook post? Do you really know them?

I honestly don't understand because I do try hard not to share stuff unless I've read it.  I try to make sure it is balanced and fair and as factual as it can be.  I try to make sure it adds value to the overall conversation of the day, rather than just inflame and sensationalize a topic.

Too many of the drive-by social media postings are so one sided and off balance that it is just sad.  They don't try to see the whole thing as they just click that mouse and go on to the next social media posting.  In many ways, it forms a picture of ignorance.  We are what we say and share to the world whether we realize it or not.


What if for one moment, you took a brief second and thought more about a response to someone on one of their social media postings?  What if for one moment, you considered what you were posting and asked yourself, "will this really enhance the world or just be more noise in a day?"

There is so much noise in a day and the social media drive-by adds to that.  We've already got enough of this on every TV news channel, radio station, and internet video.  Do we really need to add more to that?  Do we really need to be more of the problem than the solution?

A social media drive-by does very little in my view to help advance humanity.  It just continues the spreading of stuff that has no nutritional value for the mind or body.  It is just more of the same noise that has become a nuisance.
 

We need to engage our brain cells more.  We need to engage our hearts more.  Spewing words for the sake of spewing words, does very little to help one another.  In fact, I think it not only hurts the mind and body, but I think it hurts the heart and essence of our souls.

Find a way to be balanced.  Find a way to be real.  Make your life count for something good, not succumb to the meaningless information that flows at a constant rate on the internet.  The world will thank you for it and if they don't, I will definitely thank you for it.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Sweat Lodge, James Arthur Ray and Common Sense

James Arthur Ray
Sentenced To Prison

I'm torn on both sides of this issue, but yet I'll be the first to admit, I don't know all of the facts.  I normally don't follow trials whether it is Michael Jackson, OJ Simpson, Casey Anthony or James Arthur Ray.  I figure I have better things to do with my time than get sucked into the energy of these trials.  Most of the time, they tend to be more of a media circus than anything.

Why am I torn on this?  Well, just as the judge talked about in the sentencing today, common sense was not employed on the part of the participants or the people in charge.  I'm not sure how else you can state that because those in charge seemed to ignore basic concerns and those in attendance did not have the courage to listen to their body or understand what their body was telling them.  If one individual would have stood up and said, "No, I'm not going to continue this" or "this should stop", than the outcome might have been different.  Yes, the person might have been ostracized by the collective group for going against what was being done, but it may very likely have changed the course of events.  

Retraumatization

Some times people don't really stop and use common sense about healing. They do things that may feel like euphoria in the moment but really do not do much. Often times, what we view as healing is fueled by anger, resentment and bitterness. While all of these things can be a big spark of ignition to get us moving through our pains of the past, if we're not careful we will walk down a long and winding road to nowhere, only to have to turn and walk all the way back.

There are so many healers out there sporting so many different ways to heal. In all reality, the percentage of what truly heals from these things is probably so small that it is often missed. Yes, I know that each one of the healing modalities and concepts has proof of why they are so effective. Unfortunately that does not always mean much other than someone believing it is healing.

Often I see survivors of child abuse focus on doing things that they feel are healing yet in the long run, it is nothing more than re-traumatizing. Of course in that moment, you cannot convince them otherwise. Stories of abuse are told time and time again without very little movement forward, the lure of going on TV shows becomes the moment of saving grace in their life and spending more time in counseling than trying to live life becomes the norm. Please don't get me wrong as some of these things are very helpful. It is however, when they become a crutch or an illusion that they become re-traumatizing.

Please do not think for a second that all healing is healing. It is not and I can name numerous accounts of this that I have been through and that I have witnessed in others. You really need to be careful because some "healing" can be very hurtful and really throw you off the path you need to be walking. I am sorry if anyone thinks I am being too harsh on this topic but this is reality.

We all have common sense and if we listen to our bodies, our minds and our hearts, we will find the way forward. To give our power up to a TV show, or healer or to some conference or organization does not mean we are healing. True healing is when we go within and we go to the source of the pain. We find the answers within ourselves because no one can give them to us. Other people can offer a flashlight for us to see more clearly but if the answer is not coming from within, question it with all your might. Just because someone else claims to have healed themselves from pains of the past does not mean they have all the answers as well.

I have recently heard about a TV show in New York that is looking for child abuse survivors to confront their abusers on TV. When you go to this TV show website, you will quickly see that it is a Jerry Springer type show with a lot of anger, yelling, screaming and fighting. While it may make someone feel good to go yell, scream, and fight with their abuser, what will that prove? I'm afraid, it will not prove very much except connecting with the anger, bitterness and resentment held in your own pain body. Anyone is free to disagree with me but healing does not come from growing your anger, bitterness and resentment. It comes from moving past those and a show like this does not appear to offer much in that way.

Consider this for a moment about a TV show as I described above. If the survivor's abuser comes on the show and says, "oh I'm so sorry for what I did and I can understand how angry you are but hopefully you will be able to forgive me one day" and then leaves it at that, do you think the show will really want to promote this display? It will have no emotion, no kick or wow factor and they won't get many people continuing to tune in to see the show. It will not hold anyone's attention.

In order to make the show successful, they need viewers because that is what brings in the advertisement dollars. What this show wants to see is people fighting, screaming and getting angry with one another. Now if you think that is a healing thing by all means do it but more than likely you will come away from it feeling victimized once again.

In the end, the details of your story and memory are essential to help you begin the healing process. As time goes, the details of the story hold less importance because you begin to realize that memory is not always linear. Our minds don't necessarily remember events that happen in a step by step fashion. Sometimes one part of a memory is mixed within another part of our memory. It is truly hard to trust all of these parts and that is why the emotions that arise and the body connections we physically feel are a more accurate way of healing through the trauma from the inside out. For what we experience in our body is the part that holds the potential energy to transform our lives and our healing.

The stories of our abuse and learning to release the anger and pain are vital parts of healing. However, we need to be careful in the ways that we do this so that it becomes a positive step forward and not a re-victimization of past painful events in our life. We all have our common sense and we all have a built in sense of what is helpful and what is not. When we attempt to look through things in an objective way or ask others to help us do this, than we will be giving ourselves something very powerful and life changing.



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/5/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only