Loss grabs us by the throat and chokes us with unsaid things that we wish would could say. It keeps us from knowing what to say and how to say it and if there is anything that can be said.
Loss humiliates us because we always think we are strong enough, but in the face of loss we feel inadequate beyond measure. We feel like there is not enough and we'll never make it through this moment we are in.
When we go through loss, the pain of the moment engulfs us. It hobbles us as we try to move around and function in our day. It steals every last ounce of energy we have, leaving us as a limp piece of human flesh on the ground.
Loss makes us question everything. It stuns us and shocks us and angers us. It makes us sad. It makes us want to fight but we feel powerless to determine who the enemy is. We only know that it takes all sense of humanness from us.
Nothing that will calm the seas...
Loss leaves us wanting to blame someone or others or something that happened. It wants to find the way to right the ship, even though there is nothing that will calm the seas.
Loss is a part of life as screwed up as that may seem in the moment. Loss is one of those moments where everything else in life that we thought mattered pales in comparison to what truly does.
It is in those final moments before we encounter a loss in life that we feel like we never had that one last moment, the one last push, or the ability to change what happened. It was taken before we had a chance to stop it, even if we could not have stopped it.
Loss is the moment where we lose control and we question all that is good and just and bad and honorable. It is the point where we begin to wonder if control is just a mad and crazy friend who we want to ditch.
It takes time...
Loss can be a new beginning, but it takes time. Loss can be a step forward, but in the midst of that moment, it hurts more than anything in the world. It seems helpless and hopeless and endless. It feels as if there is no tomorrow.
How we get through loss in our life is our own path. No one can dictate how it should go or how quickly it should unfold. Often we are lost in a fog of blindness not knowing where the path of comfort and healing leads.
It is up to us to keep going and hold our head high even when the weight of the loss is as heavy as it gets. It is up to us to keep moving forward, not giving up and not giving into the fears and pain and anger of the moment.
If we use the fear and pain and anger of this moment, we will be able to heal from what we have lost. It may not be easy and it may seem like it takes forever, but these things are what will transform our life into more than we can know.
Loss is part of life. Life is part of loss. We must embrace both to live as humans in this world.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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