When people are hurting, they don't always have people who truly understand or want to listen. Too many want to share their wisdom with the person, rather then doing what the person needs most - LISTEN! To many say they are there, but few are.
I've gone through things in my life that most people will never experience. I've had to walk away from the lifeblood of my existence and pick up the shattered pieces one at a time. I've had to keep myself going financially and emotionally. I've had to learn to walk again, remember basic things, and function with every day life. It hasn't been easy. It isn't easy.
I've been through experiences that I can't even describe to anyone. I've been through heartbreak and turmoil and trauma that would be an unbelievable fictional story. I cannot find the words to describe it.
Yes, I've tried to kill myself several times in my past. At times, life was just too hard. The things that I have had to deal with are enough to make anyone jump over the cliff. Life is not always peachy!
The way people are treated by society, no wonder they commit suicide. No one (or I should say few) want to listen to the person. They are so quick to tell them what they should do, when that is so far from what they need in that moment. They just need someone to listen.
Listening is lost in our society. I mean true listening. Listening where people are valued and accepted and don't have to prove anything or buy into what you are saying. Listening that is just there for that person, letting them know you care for them and that you are there to help steady them in this moment.
Listening is not telling the person what they should do or giving them tough love. Listening is not making their life to be a simple statement of resolution. When someone is hurting to that degree, they just need the never-ending and non-judgmental acceptance and love. They don't need what you think they need. They need you to listen.
We all want others to be happy and live lives that have none of their past in it. Sure, we tell them to get over it and move on. Sure, we tell them that in order to live life, they must just experience it through the way we see it. In all reality, this is some of the most hateful things that one person can say to another.
No wonder people commit suicide. We as a society don't want to hear the bad. We don't want to take our precious moments away from our electronic devices to truly be there for others. We don't want their pain to touch our pain. So, it is easier to say things that end up being daggers to their heart.
Yes, there are a few angels in this world that do listen and that do care. There are a few that don't get wrapped up in platitudes of the day. There are a few that know how to be there for others.
If you really want to make a difference in someone's life, be there for them by listening. That's all they need. That's what will keep them in this world.
Blog Post And Images (c) 9/1/15 by Don Shetterly
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