Saturday, December 10, 2011

Haunted By Forgiveness

NC Mountains
Haunted By Forgiveness
Some days it is easier to become overwhelmed by all the experiences I have encountered in life.  I am certain others could say the same.  Yet, I realize that these circumstances or experiences give us the opportunity to become more acquainted with our authentic self.

It is easy to look at our day through the eyes of despair, knowing that life is difficult.  No one could blame us at times because there are many that would not have enough courage to walk these paths.  As much as this is true and valid, there is another way to our journey through life.

For a long time, I struggled to begin forgiving those who had harmed me.  Of course, I had every right to feel the way I did, because I was deeply hurt and those feelings helped me find healing.  It was not until I began to replace a word that has haunted me, with a higher concept that makes more sense to me personally.  The word forgiveness is a haunting word and has so many negative connotations and meanings to me, because of my life's experiences.

Just as Oprah stated in the taping of the 200 Men episode, forgiveness is more about letting go of the hope that the past could have been different.  Yes, the concept of forgiveness or letting go makes sense to me.  However, the word forgiveness is not easy in my mind. 

I am learning to focus on love and offering love to those experiences which are too painful to comprehend.  By focusing on love, my mind is more able to let go of the past moments and accept my life as it is currently. By focusing on love, I am beginning to understand forgiveness in a deeper way.

I realize I can't change the past nor do I necessarily feel I should change it.  I understand fully where these experiences brought me and how much they have shaped who I am.  Without these horrors, I would not be offering my suffering as healing to the world.

In my life now, I am learning to focus on love, giving, sharing and receiving, so that I will continue to loosen the chains of the past upon my life.  Even though forgiveness seems like bungee jumping, focusing on sending out love feels like walking.  I choose to send out love so that I may continue walking through the journey of life.

Related Blog Posts:
1)  Family And Forgiveness (Jul 6, 2011)
2)  Oprah 200 Men Emmy Award (May 7, 2011)

Blog Post & Images (c) 11/30/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

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