Listen With Respect and Talk Out Of Love

The old saying that you can attract more bees with honey is true.  In these days, we try to see just how much we can talk down to one another, call each other names, and treat others as if they are just nothing more than something that should be obliterated.

All you have to do is take a look at any social media feed about the election.  It isn't just one side either.  I've seen it all which ways.  No one respects the other person.  They just begin the constant barrage of treating others as if they have no clue.

I've seen it from members of my own family as they not only do this currently in political discussions, but also we grew up in this way.  We would pray and sing with others in church on Sunday morning as if we were all one big family of God.  When we walked out the doors and got in the car, it was then that our family talked smack about everyone.

Heck, I still struggle with this today.  I write about it and while I'm projecting this to the world, I feel like I'm writing to myself.  Now, maybe I don't do it as bad as some and I sure don't spread it along on social media, but boy can I falter and put myself up on a pedestal at times.  I'm not perfect either and sometimes I get disgusted by what I see myself saying and doing.

Need to learn to respect one another...

I keep trying and I wish others would do the same.  We need to learn to respect one another.  No one is going to listen to what you say if all you do is bad mouth them and put them down or call them names.  If you just scream, don't expect anyone to listen.

On the other hand, if you can look at someone with respect and love, then your words will flow more to a receptive ear.  If you can share with them what you see and why you see something, more than likely they will listen to you.  It is when we spend the time sharing ideas and beliefs with respect, that we begin to either solidify our positions, or become much smarter as we listen to others.

Listen out of respect.  Talk with love.  Proclaim what you know with an open heart and mind.  These things will drastically improve the world and as we change the world, so will we change and improve ourselves.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Pure Love Doesn't Talk Bad About Others

I was reading some comments made on an issue that people felt strongly about on a site.  The issue which I'm not going to focus on in this blog post was made on a site that is heavily influenced by the topic of angels.  While I don't agree with all of the comments, one in particular stood out and reminded me of prayer meetings in churches.

In this comment, the individual had talked about a person who they felt were responsible for the issue being discussed.  Unfortunately the comments degraded into a personal attack on this individual that was referenced.  The comment became highly inappropriate.  In the last part of their comment, it stated, "I urge us all to send her love and light and hope she can help heal the influences on her and those around her.  God Bless."

While that comment may sound like a nice thing, what this individual said before that was anything but nice or understanding or full of love and light.  My first thought was that we need to send this individual making these comments, love and light.  The person these comments were directed towards will most likely never read them, but I am a firm believer that whatever we say or think does have its ramifications upon the universe, even if these things are not heard directly.  I personally feel the individual on this site was out of line, but that is something they will have to deal with in their own life.

Talk From Your Heart

In these current times, we hear rhetoric that essentially adds nothing positive to anyone's day.  Yet, it doesn't stop us from letting it flow from our mouth.  It is rather sad that we are at a point in our culture, both in the media and in normal every day conversation that we feel we need to push our beliefs, rather than talk from the heart.  I know, many people would claim they don't do this, but then if they really opened their eyes and hearts, they would see that they do.

I always enjoy reading blog posts where the author writes about their own experiences and what brought them to the point of writing a particular blog post.  I feel like I can connect with what they say, in a way that they say it, just because they are speaking from their heart.  One such blog touched me deeply because this friend of mine shared something so private and intimate that I could connect with through his own words.  His blog post was titled, "Lost My Words".   He was talking from his heart and when he did that, it made the connection easy and instantaneous.

Just Sayin

Lately I see and hear the phrase "just sayin" being thrown around as a modern day jingle.  I'm amazed at how much it is said and the context in which it is stated.  To me, it is a statement made with great condescension, judgement, and lack of respect.

In fact, the urban dictionary attempts to define it as someone making a statement without having all the facts.  It is like, someone does not know what they are talking about, yet they make the statement anyway.  That's pretty amazing when you think about it, but in many ways that is how our public discourse occurs these days.

Gone are the days when people actually sat down and talked with one another, listening to what the other person had to say.  People are too quick to state what they think, then they ask someone for their views.  When you do that, you're really saying, "my beliefs are more important than your beliefs, but if you must, I'll listen to you talk about them.".

If you really listen to how the phrase "just sayin" is being used, you'll see the attitude that surrounds it.  For the most part, it is condescending and disrespectful.  It is a judgmental statement at the root.  Of course, I do realize that everyone has an opinion that they feel the world must hear.  The news agencies promote this agenda by showing random people giving their opinion.  They further promote this agenda by allowing people comment on news articles.

What People Talk About Before They Die

CNN:  What People Talk
About Before They Die

In a recent article on CNN, there was a story about people in hospice.  Specifically, the story was about what people talk about before they die.  I know many people believe they know what happens in the end, some people have experienced and come back from death, while others speculate. It is interesting just how much variation there is in beliefs among people. It is a subject I'm also fascinated with and have learned about through the books of Dr. John Lerma.

The one thing that stands out in this article and what I recall from Dr. Lerma's books is that people don't always talk about God and religion in those final hours like most of us would expect.  It seems that most people talk about families and resolving issues in life where there was difficulty and strife.

Often these people talk about love and how they learned what this concept was as well as how they either felt like they weren't loved in various situations or how they weren't able to love like they needed to throughout their life.  It is interesting to read some of these experiences where they really talk about finally understanding what love truly means and feeling that love in the final days of their life.

If You're Talking, You're Not Listening

Today, I received a phone call from a place I do business with and the person on the other end felt it necessary to talk nonstop. Of course, every time I would try and say something, they would start in a mile a minute never once listening to a thing I said. In this case, it had to do with billing and I was trying to make sure they did not get double billed.

This isn't the first time I've run into this nor the first person that ever has done this. It seems to be an ongoing thread in our society. We don't listen to the other person, we just talk and talk and tell them everything that we feel they need to hear, rather than listening to them.

No matter what you do or how much you try to talk, these people just don't listen! They keep going on and on and getting louder and louder until they have drowned you out. What you have to say may be very vital to the conversation but unless you want to get in a shouting match, it doesn't matter. They are not going to hear you.

Growing up, my father and a brother was this way. They still are this way because they think they have to be the one yapping their gums louder than anyone else, or life doesn't go on! Neither of them would listen while I was growing up and they still don't! You could have told them the house was on fire, and I doubt they would have heard you.

It all boils down to how much more importantly we see ourselves than everyone else. If you're talking nonstop and louder than you need to, than you're not listening. If you're not listening, you're not valuing the other person much at all. You are treating them as if what they have to say or what concerns them does not matter.

A human body has two ears and one mouth. It would stand to reason that we use the ears twice as much as the mouth. Many humans do this but there are far too many that don't. If you don't believe me, just spend 15 minutes observing people around you or on the news. It will be quite obvious.

We can offer so much to so many by listening or at least finding a balance in a conversation. By closing our mouth and opening our ears, we lift the other person up and show them they are important to us. Let us try to use our ears and our mouth appropriately instead of using one more than the other! I'll bet if we all did that, our world would be a different place!




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Blog Post & Images (c) 6/10/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

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Quiet Please, Just Listen

I feel like there are times when I live in a world full of talkers. You know, the ones that just sometimes won't be quiet for two seconds. Whether it is on the phone, in person, or even through online methods, it just seems like there is no end in sight.

Have you ever been in a restaurant and you get seated close to some talkative people where they are not only nonstop but somewhat loud. Or what about the person that gets you on the phone and you can't get a word in regardless of how many attempts you make. They just go on and on until you begin to wonder what they said to you.

My Dad loved to hear himself talk, regardless if you wanted to sit there and listen or not, you had no say or choice in that matter. Some of what he said was good and a lot of it was dribble.

When we constantly talk and dominate conversations, there is something that is out of balance. Yes, there might be something good in what you say, but if you are not engaging the listener, than are you truly being heard? If a talker is not listening to the other person, are they really respecting the listener?

It always frustrates me when I encounter these people because to me, if they think they have to run the mouth off, who am I to force them to stop. They don't listen for a moment any way. However, I get to the point where I avoid them because it is no longer fun trying to have a conversation with them and I feel invalidated and disrespected.

We were given two ears on our body and one mouth. Our minds are meant to control the flow in and the flow out. Giving the mouth more time and energy is not finding a healthy balance with the ears. Remember, if you have two ears, there should be more time given to listening rather than talking.

Try listening a little more and you may find just how much you learn as those around you may feel a little more valued. Not everything we speak is important for the world to hear but when you listen to someone, you've given them a valued place in life that could be life altering.



Blog Post & Images (c) 4/28/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com