Inexcusable Mistake Of Ray Rice

I can't speak for this "sports figure" or any other "man", but I can speak from experience.  You see, as much as some may believe Ray Rice, those who have been through things similar to this, know the hidden truth.  You can choose to believe whatever you want, but in the end, the truth is the truth.

See, when Ray Rice says, "I made an inexcusable mistake" - my bling blings go off in my brain.  Sure, I hear you.  A mistake!  I mean after all, come on!  You start throwing them punches around and pushing and shoving someone and well, you know - mistakes happen.  The other person just gets in your way.  Its an honest mistake.  If the other person wouldn't have gotten in your way, none of this would have happened.

Allow Learning From Your Mistakes

You allow a horse to make mistakes, the horse will learn from mistakes no different than the human. But you can't get him to where he dreads making mistakes for fear of what's going to happen after he does. - Buck Brannaman

A Note From The Universe - Change Thoughts

Source: Daily Emails from www.tut.com


What if, loneliness was simply a feeling of impatience, telepathically sent to you by friends you've yet to meet, urging you to go out more, do more, and get involved, so that life's serendipities could bring you together...
Would you still feel alone?

What if illness was just the signal a healthy body sent to urge clarification of your thoughts, feelings, and dreams... Would you still, at times, think of yours as diseased?

What if feelings of uncertainty and confusion were only reminders that you have options, that there's no hurry, and that everything is as it should be...
Would you still feel disadvantaged?

What if mistakes and failures only ever happened when your life was about to get better than it's ever been before... Would you still call them mistakes and failures?

And what if poverty and lack were simply demonstrations of your manifesting prowess, as "difficult" to acquire as wealth and abundance... Would they still cause you to feel powerless?

Well, whatever you feel, I still consider you my only begotten, my champion, and my equal.

Are we close, or what?
The Universe

We Impose Limitations Upon Ourselves

Our fear of making mistakes, our belief that we have no talent, and our comparisons with others all keep us from engaging any creative activity, and they do so without our realizing that the terms of engagement are ours to impose. - On Becoming An Artist by Ellen Langer, Pg 210

How many times do we sit there and wish we could do something about our situation only to draw the conclusion that there are a hundred zillion reasons why this cannot happen? Have you ever done this? I'm sure if you are like most other humans, you probably have at some point in your life. Yet, do we even notice that we do this or has it just become common place for us?

When we were born, we were given all the tools we needed to do whatever it is that our lives were meant to do. With time and through the influence of our caregivers, we began to doubt many of these abilities. As we carried on in life, we began to let these limitations build up on one another, preventing us from living our full potential in life.

Many times we go through our day, not even aware that we are placing these limits on ourselves. It can be through self talk, or even the activities that we allow ourselves to participate in. It could be in the choices we make that keeps us extremely busy from morning to night so that we inadvertently limit our choices of what we really want to do. Sometimes these things that limit us are beyond our visible comprehension and even if someone points it out to us, we do not have the frame of reference to fully understand that which we cannot see.

My challenge to each person reading this and to myself is that we begin to become acquainted with all the limitations we put on ourselves. Once we become aware of them, than it is up to us to choose to let these limitations go and embrace something greater within ourselves.

I'm A Screw Up!

How many times, have we thought silently or out loud, that we are screw ups? You are free to raise your hand and don't worry, no one will snicker or say anything because if they do, they will answer to me. So, go ahead and raise your hand! Yep, and if you look around the room, there are more hands raised than not. That should tell you a little bit about your own self. Of course I know if your own self would listen, you would not be here raising your hand, right? Ahhh, but I'm being fictitious of course in a way and in a way, I'm hoping to enlighten our own thinking a bit.

Growing up, I had to be on top of my game 24x7 and if I let up for one minute, the results could be frightening and horrifying to say the least. No mistakes were allowed or tolerated in my house. Of course, it might be important to note that what you may understand about the definition of "mistake" is much different than mine. A mistake was something that was when you deviated from what my father deemed to be appropriate in that moment. For example, if you walked a certain way on one day, it might be fine. The next day, it might be totally inappropriate and invoke the almighty wrath of God himself. There were many instances of this each and every day.

Of course, I also learned to strive for love, support and recognition from my father by trying to be perfect in everything that I did. There was no substitute as I was taught for not being perfect and the church backed this up by urging us to be perfect as Christ was. I tried my hardest in everything that I did to out think, out smart and make sure that I did not committed the bad sin of mistakes.

However as life has gone on, I'm beginning to understand how these things I grew up with and hold as self evidence for my life, are based upon false truths of control and manipulation. What my mind thinks is true as a result of what I was taught, is not truth at all. It is someone's attempt to control, manipulate and dominate me into their own securities and lack of self control. I'm sorry if that bursts your own bubble, but it was surely true in my case.

As I continue to evaluate these things, I see just how much this robs me in life of fulfillment, joy and adventure. It holds me back from all that can be in my life and it makes life a miserable experience. One boss I had, told me that I was much harder on myself than they would ever be on me. That is an eye opening statement to say the least! And yet, to this day, I still struggle with this issue. It haunts me and it controls me as if it were my king.

When I'm playing the piano and recording a song, I hear the "mistakes" in what I create when no one around me ever hears that. They hear a beautiful piece of music while I'm picking it apart as the world's greatest music critic. Others hear the beauty while I miss the beauty. Perfection is something I continue to strive for even though I know that it is virtually impossible.

One of the books I have been reading lately talks about mindfulness and with it, I'm trying to step outside of my little box and shell that I have so beautifully crafted, to experience something different. I'm learning that the more I live in a state of mindfulness, the more I experience the true beauty of all that I create in a day. Yes, there are most likely mistakes or things that we would rather not happen but through living in a mindful way, we give ourselves the option of seeing mistakes as opportunities. This leads to joy and empowerment and so much more for our lives.

I will admit that it isn't easy to live in a mindful way but I'm working on it. Sooner or later, I hope that the mindfulness will replace those pesky chattering voices in my head.

Mistakes

Mistakes are something that I've always been pretty hard on myself throughout my entire life. There are plenty of reasons as I'm sure many others out there would attest to as well. I could delve into the details of all of these, but it most likely would not further this particular discussion. Of course, it is important to note that I am not saying you should not travel into these areas of your life. On the contrary, I feel it is important to go in and reclaim these misfires of communication in your mind that distort mistakes. Once you do, you offer your brain a different path to travel when these circumstances come up.

I am very creative but as I create, I get very critical of myself. This is especially true when it comes to creating music. Most of the music I play is songs that I create in the moment. They are not repeated from anyone or anything but totally what happens at the moment my hands rest on the keyboard. If you had the opportunity to be around me when I am creating, you would more than likely hear me say at some point as I was listening to a playback of the song, "there was a mistake". To the average person or even the talented musician, they would not hear the mistake. That is because what I call a mistake is how what I am hearing playback to me is not how my mind heard the music come together. And yet, I am realizing now that those little moments that I call mistakes have led to some wonderful moments in the songs I have created. It has given them a depth and dimension all to their own that without these "mistakes", they would not be all that they are.

One of my favorite authors, Ellen Langer in the book "On Becoming An Artist" writes about mistakes in the following quote on page 81

If we know just where we are going we can’t go anywhere new. Mistakes not only set the stage for a mindful approach to the work at hand but also reveal our individuality. When we all act according to the same plan, our final products are likely to look the same, just as machine-made rugs do. Our “errors,” by contrast, stand a chance to be both unique and interesting. The difference between a line drawn with a ruler and one drawn by hand is that, in the latter, the individual shines through.

So if we feel we really have to embrace that we make mistakes in life, why not try turning the tables on the thought process for a moment. If we see mistakes as an opportunity towards greater awareness or insight, than the person who makes many mistakes, has so many opportunities in life. Just imagine having all those opportunities.

Of course if we take the mindful approach to what we consider mistakes, than all that you are and all the potential you have, has the opportunity to shine as bright as the brightest star.