The Lesson Of Grace In Teaching

I don’t have to be “the best”.  I can stop being so hard on myself.  I can have a healthy ambition without competition: striving towards goals, without having to compare myself to other people.  I can be happy for another person’s success.  I can be appropriately open and authentic---I don’t have to fear showing weakness.  Because my worthiness isn’t earned, there’s no need and no room for pretense.  I can stop worrying about what others will think of me, if I believe the lesson of grace. - The Mathematical Yawp Blog

Treating Others With Grace

I recently read a blog post shared by a friend on Facebook that was touching and moving and made you think.  The blog post was The Lesson Of Grace In Teaching.  All too often it seems like we are all focused on destroying one another to get ahead or to show others that we are somehow superior.  However, we often miss the mark when it comes to treating others with grace. While the blog post I'm referencing here is about teaching, I believe it applies to every facet of life and how we treat others.

Many years ago, I struggled hard with math and in fact I have written about it at times on this blog.  If you would like to read these earlier posts, you can check out the topic, Math Is Hard.

During a time where a family member was raping and abusing me, my 6 year old mind and body could not grasp the concept of first grade math.  The teacher did not know what to do with me and so she would put me in the corner of the room with scissors, glue, construction paper and tape just to have fun doing whatever I wanted to do during math class time.  As long as I kept myself entertained and quiet, she was happy.  Unfortunately when my parents found out, I ended up being moved back to Kindergarten.  I don't recall most of this, but I wonder if the teacher would have treated me with a little more respect or even the family member that was abusing and raping me stopped this behavior, would things have turned out differently?

Math Is Hard - Part 3

Math Is Hard
Part 3

This is part 3 of a three part series.  Please read PART 1 first.

There is so much more I could write here, but to be honest trying to write any more on this blog post is just way to difficult.  It takes more than I can give at this point of myself.  I actually am trying to finish this almost a month later because it got too difficult.

The point I really want to make is that often when kids struggle in school, there are emotional reasons that many adults fail to focus on for the child.  They look at surface things and try things that do not go to the root of the problem.  I have read in various places that kids who were abused or traumatized often struggle in school.  Either they struggle to comprehend or become a perfectionist and chastise themselves for getting anything less than a perfect score. 

Trauma and abuse alter the brain.  When a child goes through events that cannot be comprehended, often the only choice the biological mind has, is to freeze in place or alter how it perceives the world around it.  Simple and normal development is arrested and while the body may continue to grow as the child gets older, the brain may still be frozen in a time of hidden secrets and horrors. 

Math Is Hard - Part 2

Math is Hard
Part 2

This is part 2 of a three part series.  Please read PART 1 first.

Once my parents found out, a school meeting was called and everyone was angry with each other.  I don't recall too much of it but the thing I do remember is in the middle of the semester, being told that I would be put back in Kindergarten so hopefully I could catch up.  It was a sinking feeling and one that I had no choice because the adults knew what was best.  No one really cared about the reason for my struggle with math.  I'm sure they all thought they were doing the right thing, but in all honesty, it did very little to address the problem.

So, when Christmas break was over, I went back to school.  This time though, instead of being with my friends and classmates, I was put back into Kindergarten with other children I barely knew.  I felt out of place.  I didn't really fit in and no one seemed to really care.  After all, you were just supposed to suck it up and move on in life.  I don't remember having many friends that year and it wasn't long before we moved to a new school in the fall.

Math Is Hard - Part 1

Math Is Hard
Part 1

For many people, the subject of math like algebra, trigonometry, and calculus, can be a nightmare.  It is too hard for some people and I happen to be in that category.  While I can do basic math and my mind can be very logical, these other subjects are like big monsters that haunt me.  I'm at a place in life where I can get by without knowing the advanced math, but I often wish it was not a mental block within my head.

You see, back in high school, I only took the required math classes I had to take.  When I went to college, I took the bare minimum to get by and graduate.  Math was hard for me.  High school algebra was to me, as difficult as trying to land a man on the moon.

Fortunately in high school, I had a wonderful math teacher who believed in me, more than I believed in myself.  Algebra was a daily struggle and even though parts of it made sense, my brain could not complete the string of thoughts in my brain to complete the calculations.  No matter how hard I tried and no matter what I did, it was hard.  I worked my tail off in every way possible to pass the class and learn the material.