Living As A Highly Sensitive Person

For those who aren't in touch with their emotions, this may or may not mean much to you.  However, I would hope that you will read this so you can understand more what highly sensitive people deal with in a day.  Everyone interacts with sensitive people each day of their life.  The more you know about how they operate, the more you can function more effectively in this world.

As I have written before, I am one of these highly sensitive people.  I sense, pick up, and connect with so much that I even have a difficult time making sense of it.  In fact, I am sometimes not even aware of all that I pick up, but I feel it all the way to my bone.  Some days it helps me greatly and other days it is pure hell to deal with in life.

For instance, when I walk into a building and/or office, I can sense an energy or a feel to the place.  Within moments, I get a generalized sense of many characteristics of that building and/or office.  It isn't just the decor or interior decorating.  It isn't just the pleasantness of the receptionist or the cold hard stares.  It is much more than that and I base all of my reactions in regards to what my senses tell me.

Another case where this comes into play is in a sense of knowing that certain events may take place.  I'm not talking about being psychic here, although many may claim it is and they may be right.  I'm talking about a sense of knowing that things aren't going to go the way everyone intends or that things aren't quite right.  Recently, I went to a potential job site the night before so I could make sure I would be able to find the building.  When I arrived at the building, I instantly knew that this was not the place for the job, but had no way to verify it.  Sure enough, the next day my intuition and gut sense feeling was spot on.

Intuition And Gut Feelings

Sometimes it just seems that I have an intuition or a gut feeling about something. It has been said by others and I see it in my self. I just know things. I don't mean that as bragging in any way. Don't ask me how or where this comes from. I just know it is there.

Often, my gut brain is my barometer for many things. Many times people say they have a gut feeling and for me this is so true. My gut tends to tell me when decisions I'm about to make are good or bad, especially the major decisions. When I sense or pick things up, it is often my gut feeling that validates the information.

Another area that I really notice it is when I hear things from other people. If what they are telling me adds up, then I feel an ease in my gut. If what they are telling me does not add up, then there is a twinge in my gut of questioning. Sometimes the gut feeling is more stronger and evident than others. There are times though that I sometimes that I just don't listen to it.

In addition to my gut, I also just tend to know things. It is like I have the information when I need it the most. I have no idea where it comes from or how it gets there. The information just shows up at the appropriate time. It is usually not a moment too soon or a moment too late. Many times I am afraid of it, wondering if it is truly valid for the situation or not. It is not necessarily something that others are open and receptive to so, I often keep all this quiet and to myself.

While I'm sure my self confidence is a major part of how I view what I receive, there are many times I discount what I pick up. Sometimes, it truly scares me because it isn't like I understand where this information comes from. There are many times that what I pick up is so much information that I find myself saying, "ENOUGH"! It can become overwhelming and when it does, I run for cover, hiding myself from all of it.

To be around people in a close proximity can be very difficult for me. There are moments where I feel bombarded with the personal information of others and I cannot escape it. It isn't like I ask for it or even desire it to be there. It feels the same as if you take note of someone's facial expressions. I would have to close my mind's eye to avoid seeing it.

When I'm doing bodywork or I am in close proximity to those I'm connected with, the information intensifies. I often see, sense and feel so much. More likely than not, I cannot put it all into words. It is just there and in a large quantity. I've felt the pain in my body of those that I am working on just as they feel their own pains. I've shared the neck pain, headaches, and stomach discomforts that others are experiencing. For if I'm working on someone, I know the area of discomfort has left their body when I feel it leave my own.

It is hard for me to understand all of this. There are few people that I can truly talk to who understand what this is all about. I'm cautious what I share because so many try to inject their belief system as an explanation. I often don't acknowledge all of this for fear of being ridiculed and laughed at by others or cast aside.

I am learning to accept it more as it comes but it is difficult. I'm trying to not freak out when it shows up. It still overwhelms me and sometimes I avoid people or crowds as a result. Giving myself a voice through my meditation times seems to give me a moment of acknowledgement and release.

While I do feel different and sometimes out of place in life, this intuition I have is my guiding light for my life. This I know without a shadow of a doubt. It has always been there with me and for me since as far back as I can remember.


*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Reflections On My Life

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and realizing just how far I've come. Maybe that's the message I was looking for recently when I felt like I was up against the same proverbial brick wall. It was a familiar brick wall and one that seems to be there no matter what.

You see, my life has been deluged with many storms. I've been battered in just about any way one can think of that a person can be. There hasn't been too many things that I've not encountered in my life in one way or another. Some people have told me that I chose this life, which at first was hard to reconcile but the more I challenge and look at what these people have told me, the more it makes sense. I was never one to believe in past lives but too many things have surfaced to give evidence that there is more out there than what I was taught in some narrow minded churches.

When I was a kid, I never really thought I would make it through high school. I always just knew "somehow" that I was going to get very sick and the entire family would be around me wondering what to do. No one would have answers and it was a life threatening situation. As a kid, I thought this would happen before I graduated from high school but instead, it was a few years after I was out of college. And while I couldn't see the entire manner in which this would play out, it did involve my family wondering how to get me the help I needed and the doctors being unsure of what to do. Fortunately I did recover but it was a very difficult moment in my life and I did come very close to death.

All the while growing up though, I was an extremely sensitive kid. I'd cry at anything and everything. If I was separated from my mom, I'd cry. If I saw something little creature on the ground tortured or mistreated or even stepped on, I would cry. I had a pet rock and if someone would hit it, I would cry. There were people around me that could not accept that and being a boy, I was taught to be a "man" and not cry. Of course, that just made me go and hide my head under a pillow and cry myself to sleep.

The point is I was very sensitive and I picked up so much that was around me from what people were thinking and not saying to how they felt, how they responded to me or to so many things. It was like I was acquainted with a language that was not spoken or shared. Of course, the home life was not a stable, grounded life and so these things became misdirected as self sabotage for me. That led to stomach and digestive problems, self confidence issues and so many other things because I internalized everything.

By the time I reached high school, I knew I was just different than others or they were just different than me. I didn't feel like I fit in nor did I really want to. Many things I knew seemed to evade others and I was often confused that concepts which I understood were so far removed from most of the population. I still struggle with that to this day because somehow I just understand things that I have no idea where they came from.

Today, I still struggle with the self confidence and feeling like I fit into life. There are concepts which just seem normal to me but 99.9% of the population just doesn't get it! And they don't seem that concerned either.

I'm still very sensitive and really learning that this is a good thing in my life but sometimes it is overwhelming to say the least. Sometimes walking in store with a lot of people, is a major challenge for me. It is like everyone has their own life's movie playing around them as they walk by. Sometimes, I pick up the pains that these people have and then struggle to figure out if they are my pains or another person's pain.

So some days I still feel really out of place in this life and sometimes I have no way to reconcile that with anything. It is hard to find well rounded, grounded people to talk to because so many go out into all forms of la la land and they can't even see that they are in la la land. I'm learning though that all of these things are helping me grow into the person that I am. While I want everything to come together in life and know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing what it is I feel I'm being groomed for, I know that until the moment is right, there will be the feeling of a void. My sense and message is that all of this is taking place quicker than I realize but it is not time yet.

Why did I write this? I'm not sure. It may just be my way of trying to connect the dots. It may be my way of showing myself that this is going along as planned or it may be a whole host of other reasons. Whatever it is, my hands felt the need to write my thoughts down and I'll let the words go where ever they may travel.

It is my quest to understand more about my life, to heal from the storms of life and to follow that inner guidance within myself that shows me the path ahead.