Sometimes it just seems that I have an intuition or a gut feeling about something. It has been said by others and I see it in my self. I just know things. I don't mean that as bragging in any way. Don't ask me how or where this comes from. I just know it is there.
Often, my gut brain is my barometer for many things. Many times people say they have a gut feeling and for me this is so true. My gut tends to tell me when decisions I'm about to make are good or bad, especially the major decisions. When I sense or pick things up, it is often my gut feeling that validates the information.
Another area that I really notice it is when I hear things from other people. If what they are telling me adds up, then I feel an ease in my gut. If what they are telling me does not add up, then there is a twinge in my gut of questioning. Sometimes the gut feeling is more stronger and evident than others. There are times though that I sometimes that I just don't listen to it.
In addition to my gut, I also just tend to know things. It is like I have the information when I need it the most. I have no idea where it comes from or how it gets there. The information just shows up at the appropriate time. It is usually not a moment too soon or a moment too late. Many times I am afraid of it, wondering if it is truly valid for the situation or not. It is not necessarily something that others are open and receptive to so, I often keep all this quiet and to myself.
While I'm sure my self confidence is a major part of how I view what I receive, there are many times I discount what I pick up. Sometimes, it truly scares me because it isn't like I understand where this information comes from. There are many times that what I pick up is so much information that I find myself saying, "ENOUGH"! It can become overwhelming and when it does, I run for cover, hiding myself from all of it.
To be around people in a close proximity can be very difficult for me. There are moments where I feel bombarded with the personal information of others and I cannot escape it. It isn't like I ask for it or even desire it to be there. It feels the same as if you take note of someone's facial expressions. I would have to close my mind's eye to avoid seeing it.
When I'm doing bodywork or I am in close proximity to those I'm connected with, the information intensifies. I often see, sense and feel so much. More likely than not, I cannot put it all into words. It is just there and in a large quantity. I've felt the pain in my body of those that I am working on just as they feel their own pains. I've shared the neck pain, headaches, and stomach discomforts that others are experiencing. For if I'm working on someone, I know the area of discomfort has left their body when I feel it leave my own.
It is hard for me to understand all of this. There are few people that I can truly talk to who understand what this is all about. I'm cautious what I share because so many try to inject their belief system as an explanation. I often don't acknowledge all of this for fear of being ridiculed and laughed at by others or cast aside.
I am learning to accept it more as it comes but it is difficult. I'm trying to not freak out when it shows up. It still overwhelms me and sometimes I avoid people or crowds as a result. Giving myself a voice through my meditation times seems to give me a moment of acknowledgement and release.
While I do feel different and sometimes out of place in life, this intuition I have is my guiding light for my life. This I know without a shadow of a doubt. It has always been there with me and for me since as far back as I can remember.
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