Think Happy Thoughts

When I was a kid, I learned how to "hide" the world of horror that I was living in from the outside world. No one saw the abuse, the molestation, the mind manipulation that was going on in the world I was living in. Most of the time, we didn't even see all of it in our own family even though it was going on right before our eyes. To the outside world, we were a family of kids that behaved and obeyed their parents. We appeared to others to be just like everyone else with their own set of daily problems but nothing out of the ordinary.

Each day, I would go to school, wearing one of the few pairs of clothes that I had to wear. I would sit there next to everyone after only being allowed to take one shower a week which of course fell on Saturday night right before Church on Sunday! Every day in school, as the afternoon wore on and I knew that I would be headed back home to my world of despair, the headaches would hit me with a vengeance. My mind would daydream of happier moments hoping that somehow I could take myself out of this horror that I lived in, if it were only in a dream.

I could describe the horrors I faced on a daily basis but I'll refrain because if you have read my book, "Hope And Possibility Through Trauma", you will know just what these horrors were all about. They were many and they continued most of my life while growing up. My world was not one of being happy.

However, if you would have met me during that time, you would not have known just how miserable I was in my life. You would have thought that I was a happy kid, always with a smile and not a care in the world. You would have thought that I had it all together and really had control of my life. That is the facade I showed to the world around me and all the people I interacted with. It was the happy face, full of happy smiles, happy thoughts and happy feelings that everyone saw. I could have been the poster boy for being happy.

Yet, inside I was anything but happy. My life was falling apart and crumbling but I dare did not show it to anyone. My body hurt from the abuse it suffered, my mind struggled to find reality and yet, to the outside world, I showed the happy face. I showed the happy face that everything was okay and my life was normal. However, deep inside, it was anything but normal.

Today, there are so many circumstances and situations that I see people putting that happy face on and acting as if everything is okay in life. What we portray to the outside world doesn't necessarily mean it is what is going on inside of us. Yes, I do understand that sometimes if you think happy thoughts, you can change your physiology and biology. However, if you don't act upon letting go of the sources of these things than the happy thoughts become an illusion.

What I have learned in life is to be more honest with myself and when I am happy, I radiate happiness. However, when I am feeling horrible on the inside, I need to be honest with myself and not hide from the emotional turmoil that may be going on in my life. In fact, I know that through some of the most difficult times in life when things seem to be very rough, it is then that I am experiencing some of the greatest growth of my moments.

While most of us want the rough moments to scoot on by, they are here for a reason and if we allow them to help us find that reason, than we will grow in tremendous leaps. It is fine to be happy when you are but just for the sake of trying to prove that you are happy when the opposite is true, it is taking us from truly discovering more about ourselves. It is much better to be authentic with your emotions and authentic with being happy. When we radiate from our true self, it is then that we find our true self.



Blog Post & Images (c) 2/1/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Mindful Words

I am always amazed at just how everyone sits behind a computer screen these days and can type anything to anyone and never fully know them or even know what they look like, who they are or what they are about. Because the screen doesn't force you to stand face to face with someone, it is much easier to just type words that you would not otherwise say.

Several years ago, I saw this on internet message boards where people would not think about the words they wrote but just automatically type whatever came to their mind. Often they needed to just sit on it and think about it before typing what they wrote. It is just too easy to respond and much more difficult to think about the words that should be said, if anything.

Of course today, on every news story posted online, there are comments and ratings and replies. People are either spammers or trolls and often there is no discussion of the facts, just an outright manner of whatever you feel like typing is what goes. People have no interest in looking at all sides of an issue when posting online. That is too difficult for our simple minds and our mindless ways in our world.

It just doesn't stop on the internet either because now there are talking pundits from all walks of life and from all ends of the political spectrum that just shout their opinions and words and facts rather than listening to what anyone has to say who differs with them. Each person on TV tries to see how much they can get their point across without even taking a moment to stop and truly listen to the other person. It is interesting that all sides of the shouting have their "documents" and "research" and "polls" to back up what they are saying. Stop and think about that last statement for a minute. It is interesting that everyone has their research, documents and polls as proof of what they are trying to proclaim.

We tend to live our lives in a mindless way, not paying attention to anything but what is currently on our mind. The media feeds into this and so many spend a majority of their life allowing the media to feed their brains. I hope that one day, we as a society will wake up and understand what we are doing to ourselves.

We are not helping ourselves, our society or the world by seeing who can shout the loudest, who feels they are more right than anyone else and those across the political spectrum that are convinced that they know what is best. In fact, we are hurting not only the people we shout at but we hurt ourselves individually and collectively as a society.

At the end of the day, most of the things that everyone gets so upset about, they really do not matter. In the end, the bigger person is the one that can walk away from all of it and see a bigger picture. Our world and our lives do not need to be this way. There is another alternative that we can be part of but we must make difficult choices for our lives.

My hope is that all of us will wake up and begin to learn how to be mindful in our day with our words. With becoming mindful, we will learn what truly matters and how we can build one another up and evolve as we are meant to be. We as humans are meant to be much more than we currently are. Let our words show how much we truly care for each other and how much we want to evolve ourselves and the world.

And the mindful word of the day is hiybbprqag. Sorry, but I thought this made up word was too cute to not include here after I read the article about the search engines. I'm wondering how many though will mindfully read this and even see it.



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/31/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Random Act Of Kindness Day, March 1

I saw this event for March 1 on Facebook called "Random Act Of Kindness Day" and wanted to help spread the word. It is a wonderful idea and if you go to the facebook page you can read the details. Here are a few of the main points. The idea was created by Brenda Trotier

To help make the world a little brighter and happier, perform one, two, three or more Random Acts of Kindness. Here are the rules:

The first act of kindness should be to a friend, family member or coworker.

The second act of kindness should be to a stranger, and they must know that you are the person to perform the act of kindness (ex: hold the door for the person behind you, treat someone in line near you to a cup of coffee at Starbucks, etc).

The third act of kindness should be made to a stranger, and they must not know the identity of the person who performs it (ex: charitable contribution, pledge, even a few coins in a parking meter).

Please invite as many people to participate as you can; the world needs as much kindness as it can get.


Link to The Facebook Page, Random Act Of Kindness - March 1


And here is another concept that goes along with this which is a project I've been working on. It is called the Give A Smiley Project. I send out little smileys that you can download from my website and mail out to people you know or don't know. The idea is to help brighten their day a little bit and hopefully changes the world from a gloomy, negative one to one that is a little more hopeful and peaceful. Click on Smiley Project on my website.



Blog Post & Images (c) 1/31/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com