Reality Is Just Too Real

No greater evidence of this is required then just by turning on the TV or going to social media these days.  It is obviously evident that reality is just too real for most people.  In fact, the main love of everyday TV watching is a category called "reality TV".

In "Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer, he wrote that "reality is just too real for most of us, so we temper it with the mind."  (pg 14 Kindle Edition)  If you think about this for a moment, you can see how true it is, yet we all do this in one way or another.  It is how we exist.

In today's world, there is way too much noise and input for our minds to deal with in a day.  There is too much distraction and stress and bombardment from all directions.  If we begin to immerse ourselves into this culture, we quickly become overwhelmed and no "right thinking" will undue what we subject ourselves to each and every day.

If you are a highly sensitive person and you are following the news on TV, it is a big mistake.  If you're following it online, it is almost as big a mistake.  There is just too much coming out of that.

Our Screaming And Yelling Affects Others

People, who scream and fight and argue, really cause me a lot of distress. It gets to me quickly and it leaves me feeling very agitated. Finding the silence of peace and calmness in our communities seems to be as rare as winning the lottery.

Sometimes in the morning when I am sitting out by my pool for my morning meditation, I can hear the neighbors screaming at the kids they are watching. In fact, as I am writing this, I can hear them scream and a car alarm buzzer is going off in the background. These things disrupt my quest for peace and calmness in the morning. I'd much rather hear the birds singing any day than listen to the noise from the neighbors.

Another example is watching TV. Even shows like America's Got Talent where Piers Morgan likes to argue with the other judges is something that really gets to me. His name calling, lack of respect and extremely critical persona make me very sad for whoever it is on the receiving end. While I do realize this is reality and drama TV, it affects people more than we sometimes want to accept.

Even on the new season of the Apprentice (with the unemployed contestants), the constant bickering and screaming made me feel on edge. I felt like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I could even feel my arms, shoulders and back tense up during this show.

When I was a kid, there was a show called "I Love Lucy" or I believe that was the name of it. Supposedly my parents would not let me watch it because the show would upset me and make me angry. Again, it was the screaming and yelling on the show that got to me.

All my life, I have struggled with this. I grew up in a home where my father constantly yelled, screamed and berated everyone around him. There was no pleasing the man! It doesn't take much either to affect me these days. There are times that someone talking fast, nonstop and loud is very difficult for me to be around.

The unusual thing is that as much as this bothers me, I found my own self doing the same thing. Only I don't berate the ones I love and I don't yell at them. I would never do that. The thing I do is scream and yell out of frustration at the little things in life. Sometimes I have very little patience or understanding for myself. Sometimes I demand perfection of myself while not forgiving any mistakes I make or could potentially make. I am very hard on myself. In fact, I am much harder on myself than I am on anyone else.

I had one of those wake up moments in life where I realized that my own personal outbursts were affecting those around me. From my relationship to my cats, everyone was on edge wondering when I would erupt. They never knew when the slightest little task as innocent as it could be would frustrate me and set me off. This was a big eye opener for me which made me take stock of my life.

I'm sure not perfect in this area of my life but I have really been working on it. I hate to think that something I'm doing brings tension to those around me. I know what it is like to grow up in a house of screaming and yelling.

Being a highly sensitive person, I know just how intense moments around me can impact my mind and my body in dramatic ways. I've worked to minimize some of those and to give myself moments of quiet in my day. I've stopped watching the news commentators on TV because so much of what they say comes from anger. It really just agitates the mind, especially my mind. For me, I see too many people screaming and yelling in life. It is too much for me to take most days.

There are many things we do in our own lives that strongly impact the lives of those around us. Often we don't realize just what these things do to others. We may realize that it is something we struggle with but we may not be fully aware of what we are forcing others to live through. We really need to be aware of this or at least be open to hearing from others how our behavior impacts them. Of course, we cannot go through life trying to be everything to all people.

I do realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I am impacted stronger by things than most people. While I give myself moments of silence, I try to keep my distance from those that yell and scream. Finally now in life, I am able to really calm myself down so the little things don't get to me and erupt into screaming and yelling. I am learning that there is no need to add to the turmoil in our world. For me to be there for others, I need to offer my own peace and calmness, not my turmoil.



(Above Picture taken at the lighthouse at Ponce Inlet, FL - (c) 09/14/10)

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Reality Vs Reality

I'm often amazed these days at what the word "reality" means. At one time I understood the word to mean being real or the state of being real. Yet, today the word has been stretched to mean perceived to be real or perceived to in a state of being real. Notice the slight play on words there of the word perceived. The lines have now been blurred and so what is real today may not actually be real. Is that a bad thing? It all depends upon how you look at it and let me explain.

My mind is a very creative one in which I can create scenarios and story lines and images that are more colorful than any movie I have ever watched. I can do these in a quick moment without much though or hesitation. In fact, I live in a world of creativity and my mind is constantly engaged in creating all that is available to my mind. So am I living in reality when I do this? One could argue I am not but then on the other hand, I know that I am able to come back to reality or that which grounds me in current life. My creativity isjust one part of my life but to come back to a place of being grounded is where my life rests.

Throughout a day, I notice that there is a perceived reality around us. Whether it be through TV reality shows or "live news coverage" or the advertisements we watch in any given TV experience. All of these events are not reality no matter how many times the word "reality" or "real" is put out during these events. They are not reality no matter how many times the images suggest that what you are watching is just as real as if you were there yourself.

Take for example reality TV shows that we've all watched and most likely have heard from the participants after taping was over that what the viewer got to see was hardly reality. Or take the advertisements where the paid actors appear to be real life individuals proclaiming how much money they made or how much more beautiful and skinny they have become. Take the online internet forums where you interact and get to know other "screen names" thinking that you really know the person on the other side of the screen, when all you know is the screen name and what they type. While it is possible, these things could be real, often the images, words and scenarios you see are perceptions of reality but not really reality.

The examples could go on forever and if you take a moment in your day and observe these, you will see many more than I have even mentioned. Of course, one could ask is it wrong to engage in perceived reality around us in our every waking moment of the day. It all depends. Are you able to step back out of these perceptions and see them for what they are. No, I'm not saying that you can verbally say this but you can be very honest with yourself and see through the perceptions as they are being played out in front of you. At some point, our minds get so bombarded with these things that while we may be able to do this initially, we soon lose track of reality and begin replacing it with the perception of reality.

Maybe the moral of the story is we need to take the perception of reality in small doses and make sure we mix in with it true reality. True reality could include things like touching the earth, the plants, feeling the sun and the wind, hearing the birds and the nature sounds around us or just holding someone dear to us in our arms. For these things are the true essence of life and the perception of reality is but a momentary trek in to a world of creativity. If we keep both things in perspective and in balance, than our lives will be much more full and richer as a result.