Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Bright White Light Of My NDE - Part One

Bright White Light Of My NDE - Part One
This is not an easy blog post to write as it is very emotional and somewhat confusing for me.  While those close to me and those that have read what I have written over the years know, it comes as no surprise.  However, I still struggle to wrap my mind around what I went through and it wasn't until I finished reading the Proof Of Heaven book by Dr. Eben Alexander III, that some pieces made sense.  Just as he talks about in his book, for those who have gone through this experience, it isn't easy to deal with or articulate.  I will try to do my best in what I share here, but realize that this is not easy for me.

In 1991, I was 26 years old and going through a conversion disorder.  At the time, I and the doctors did not know this.  Yet, I was paralyzed, suffering from pseudo-seizures, struggling to communicate, and observing my brain shutting down with each passing moment.  I felt lost and all alone in this world, even though when I was much younger, I knew a situation of this magnitude would come about and everyone around me would not know what to do to help me.

I still remember laying in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling and wondering if at age 26, I would remain a vegetable, not ever functioning normally again.  Those are basically the words that I thought and tried to state in my mind.  I wondered if this was the end for me, or if I would be alive another day.  The doctors tried not to alarm me, but when they would take a needle and touch the bottom of my foot, and I could not feel it - I knew there was something very wrong.

Around this same time, I was going through one test after another and without some research into my medical records which I cannot afford at this time, I don't know what all tests they did.  However, one test in particular was where they had me in a small room with some doctor placing needles (more accurately they might be called electrodes) and then there would be small amounts of electrical current that would run through  them.  My body would jerk and I would feel these impulses internally to the point where they hurt like hell.  Excuse my language, but it was painfully horrendous to go through.

I tried to communicate with the doctor during this test, who had her back turned me.  It was as if I was some test subject and nothing more.  Unfortunately, I could not verbally communicate enough to get her attention and my arms would not move, so I had to lay there taking the examination that she was administering and having absolutely no control over any of it.  I was trying to be strong, but the pain was enormous within me.  (continued in Part TWO on 3/13/13)


This is PART ONE of a three part series on the bright white light of my NDE (Near Death Experience).  Come back tomorrow for PART TWO, a continuation of this blog post (post date 3/13/13).

You may also want to check out Dr. Eben Alexander's book, Proof Of Heaven which prompted me to write this blog post.  

If you want to learn more about some of my own experiences, check out my first book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly

Blog Post And Images (c) 3/6/13 by Don Shetterly

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