Bright White Light Of My NDE - Part Three

Please read PART ONE of this blog post series so that this current blog post will make sense. 

About a year ago, I was going through another healing session which was one of major transformation for me on that day and it was not easy.  When the healer had left the room for a moment, I felt these hands lifting my head, shoulder and body in ways that supported what was happening in this moment.  I just figured, it was an assistant or two in the room who had been left in the room to help me.  It was like they knew exactly where to touch and what needed to happen. 

When the healer came back into the room, I questioned him as to who else was in the room.  He replied, that there is no one.  I said to him, "But I felt the hands of other people under me" and he just replied, you were picking up the angelic realm.  At first I thought "is this true?".  Then, the session progressed along into a deeper level and all of the sudden the temperature changes went from one extreme to another and the room got so bright, that with my eyes closed, the light was too much for me.  It was flooding me so hard that I begged this healer to turn down the lights.  Little did I realize or think about it at the time, the room was darkened.  There was very little light on in the room.  I was not seeing the actual light in the room, but again, the bright white light I saw in the hospital.

Bright White Light Of My NDE - Part Two

You most likely will want to check out PART ONE of this blog post, so that today's post will make more sense.  This is a series of three blog posts on bright white light and NDE or Near Death Experiences.  In this case, it is about my own experiences with NDE. 

The next thing I was consciously aware of was opening my eyes to the doctor bringing the paddles down upon my exposed chest to bring me back to life.  I still remember looking up at him and speaking clearly, what's going on?  He looked surprised and so was I.  This was the only point that I remember speaking so clearly and with so much ease during the entire ordeal.  However, the room that was now full of so many people and equipment was quickly emptying.  No one seemed to want to speak about what had happened and the doctor that was performing this test was no longer present.  After questioning everyone what was going on and being met with silence, one nurse finally spoke softly into my ear after most of the people had exited the room.  She told me that they thought I was gone. 

It was so confusing to me, because while I knew I was not present on the exam table, I knew I had been watching from above the room.  I had seen them frantically working on me. This may sound strange, but it is very clear in my mind, even to this day. The ceiling on the exam room seemed to not be there as I watched all of these people trying to help me.  It was then that I noticed this very bright white light.  It was such an intense light that did not hurt my eyes or frighten me.  I felt very safe, warm, and attracted to it.  While I don't remember anyone speaking to me, I somehow knew or it was transmitted to my mind that it was not my time to leave this earth.  I would be going back to my body as I had much left to finish in my life.  The other piece of information that seemed to become aware to me was that my condition was somehow tied together with past experiences and it was necessary for me to make that connection in order to heal myself.

Bright White Light Of My NDE - Part One

This is not an easy blog post to write as it is very emotional and somewhat confusing for me.  While those close to me and those that have read what I have written over the years know, it comes as no surprise.  However, I still struggle to wrap my mind around what I went through and it wasn't until I finished reading the Proof Of Heaven book by Dr. Eben Alexander III, that some pieces made sense.  Just as he talks about in his book, for those who have gone through this experience, it isn't easy to deal with or articulate.  I will try to do my best in what I share here, but realize that this is not easy for me.

In 1991, I was 26 years old and going through a conversion disorder.  At the time, I and the doctors did not know this.  Yet, I was paralyzed, suffering from pseudo-seizures, struggling to communicate, and observing my brain shutting down with each passing moment.  I felt lost and all alone in this world, even though when I was much younger, I knew a situation of this magnitude would come about and everyone around me would not know what to do to help me.

I still remember laying in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling and wondering if at age 26, I would remain a vegetable, not ever functioning normally again.  Those are basically the words that I thought and tried to state in my mind.  I wondered if this was the end for me, or if I would be alive another day.  The doctors tried not to alarm me, but when they would take a needle and touch the bottom of my foot, and I could not feel it - I knew there was something very wrong.