Recently I was reminded of this after hearing yet another story of suicide that impacted someone I know. The comment that came from this experience was that it is so sad the individual was not able to get help. It breaks my heart to see anyone end their life and it breaks my heart to see the pain that this world is experiencing. Yet, I can see just how closed our eyes, hearts, and words are to real pain.
Often when we have not traveled into the depths of our own pain, we can not completely be real and help others. If you want to find some of the most wounded people on this planet, just look at any of the healing modalities and medical care system. There you will find pain that is beyond comprehension. Often, these people use helping others in order to mask their own pain and to try and make sense of the experiences they have gone through.
However, if we don't travel into our own pain, we cannot fully be there for others. We may think we are and we may play the game, but our consciousnesses knows the difference. If we are an aware individual, we will see this, but if we are not, we will go through life oblivious to this fact.
If someone is walking through pain, inspirational messages can help keep them going. However, if you really want to help someone, walk hand in hand with them. Walk with them through their pain. This requires you to touch the areas of your own life that may be painful, but as you do that, you will find healing for yourself as well. Just be true to yourself, because if you try to fake it, it will be clearly obvious to the consciousness of the other individual.
I still remember one healer that I went to see when I was having a rash that covered my entire body. I was frightened, scared and frustrated. My body was tired and weary from the struggle. The most important thing this healer did in that session may have seemed so insignificant to many. I still remember him grabbing a hold of my hand in a firm, powerful, and nonjudgmental way and telling me "I'm here for you - we will get through this". That was one of the most powerful healing moments I have ever witnessed.
You see, this healer could have made all kinds of statements and thoughts that most likely would have been feel good moments. However, in that moment, I needed to know I wasn't alone and that someone was willing to walk through the pain and struggle I was facing. It made all the difference in my life that day and set me up for healing the rash quickly. My body was too weary to care about feel good thoughts.
Be careful in how you deal with others because if you have not traveled into the depths of your own despair, you are holding the other person back. Even if you have done a considerable amount of healing in your own life, unless you continue to heal the layers, you still may be causing undue harm on others. The best advice I have ever heard on this subject is, "healer, heal thyself".
If you really want to help others, walk hand in hand with them through their pain. Be real and be true and don't judge them. The world needs this badly. There is too much pain out there for us to not begin with healing ourselves first and then continuing the process. Healing isn't a step one, two, three process. It is an ongoing experience of peeling back the layers and reclaiming your life.
Blog Post And Images (c) 2/28/13 by Don Shetterly
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