I Am A Highly Sensitive Man

This blog post was inspired by Rick Beldon in an article he wrote for the Good Men Project.  Like this blog post, his article was titled "I Am A Highly Sensitive Man".  While I have written somewhat on this subject, I think it is one that never gets enough attention.  I liked what Rick wrote on his article, and I thought I could pay no greater respect than writing about it myself.  Thank you Rick for opening up your life and sharing this because I can see from the comments, it has helped many people.

For most of my life, I knew I was a very sensitive person.  From the time I was a young boy until now, I always knew that I got emotional at the drop of a pin.  Unfortunately I grew up in a home and a society where this was not welcomed.  As a boy, I was whipped for crying and told to grow up and be a man.  Yet, my little eyes witnessed some horrific acts that were hard for me to not feel sensitive about in my life.

From the little animals I saw killed, crushed, or mutilated to how I saw other people treated, I felt their pain.  At the time I don't' think I realized just how much pain I picked up, but I do know that I would go to bed at night and cry into my pillow.  You dare didn't let anyone see you cry because that was just inviting trouble and probing questions that did not end well.

The Highly Sensitive Person

HSPs (Highly Sensitive Person) do take in a lot - all the subtleties others miss.  But what seems ordinary to others, like loud music or crowds, can be highly stimulating and thus stressful for HSP's.

Most people ignore sirens, glaring lights, strange odors, clutter and chaos.  HSP's are disturbed by them.

Most people's feet may be tired at the end of a day in a mall or a museum, but they're ready for more when you suggest an evening party.  HSPs need solitude after such a day.  They feel jangled, over aroused.

Most people walk into a room and perhaps notice the furniture, the people - that's about it.  HSPs can be instantly aware, whether they wish to be or not, of the mood, the friendships and enmities, the freshness or staleness of the air, the personality of the one who arranged the flowers.

(From Page 4, The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron)

Living As A Highly Sensitive Person

Often times, it is not easy being a highly sensitive person. I am one of those people! You know, the HSP - highly sensitive persons. At one time I just thought it was a curse but now I'm learning that it does have a positive side.

When I talk about being sensitive, I mean really SENSITIVE and EMOTIONAL about things that may seem little and insignificant to most are like floods of input to me. There are many examples of just how sensitive I get. It may range from feeling like something such as a pet rock or plant is just as alive and full of emotion as a human to picking up the emotions of people I know or meet or walk past in the store. It does include my sensitivity to things around me that most cannot see like the angelic or spirit world. It is much more than that of course because the little things that seem insignificant and go unnoticed in a day are big things to me.

Some days I pick up so much that it can get overwhelming. When it gets overwhelming, I am like a turtle that just wants to crawl back into its shell and hide for the next thousand eons. When that happens, I want nothing to do with anyone except my cats and other inanimate objects or nature. Anyone that pushes me to be with them or to function in their world is just driving me deeper into my turtle shell.

Fortunately though, I am learning more how to deal with these things. I've learned that I can release the little things that build up within me through my practice of the Unified Therapy techniques I have learned. Also, I know more how to manage myself by taking time away and just spending time in nature. Nature is one of my renewal techniques that seems to put everything back into perspective and balance. It realigns me in ways that so much other stuff cannot. The sunshine is a wonderful companion to me and energizing in so many ways.

I remember growing up where it would get so overwhelming and I would run into my room crying that no one cared about me and no one loved me. It was moments where I could take no more and my sensitivity was at an all time high. I remember my mom coming in and holding me and just letting me know she loved me. Of course, my father would try to act sensitive but then after my experiences on a daily basis with him, he seemed inauthentic. Other members of my family were like foreign monsters to me at times because the world I lived in was completely different than the world they lived in.

For others around me, I'm sure it is difficult to live with me because when the sensitive side begins to take over, I'm done until I emerge back into a normal life. Some understand it more than others but in those times, I just need to know that others love and care about me but allow me to just be in that moment. Normally I pull through these rough moments but they do get intense.

While I really hated this side of me for a long time, I began to learn in life that it has positive aspects. In one way, I use this to help me in my healing work that I do because I truly sense and pick up some very deep things in people just as if they may be experiencing them in the moment. It also helps me in my creative work because I am a highly creative person in writing such as this blog, my book, music and just my approach to life. It also helps me to see a different side of the world where people who are busy screaming and looking out for themselves do not usually see. If there weren't people like us highly sensitive people in the world, the earth would tip off of its axis and fall into space.

According to Elaine Aron who wrote the book, The Highly Sensitive Person, 15-20% of the population is considered to be a highly sensitive person. She states that in the book that it is a normal trait for those of us who are HSP (Highly Sensitive Persons) and that it is biological. A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is more aware of subtleties (just like I was sharing about myself) and is more easily overwhelmed.

So if you are one of these people that others may look at and think you are just way too sensitive, fear not, for you are normal. Learning about the trait and learning how to embrace it, live with it and deal with it can be a challenge. However, the more you learn to embrace it, the more it provides for you in many aspects of your life. Often a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is misunderstood but just know that you are normal and you're not the only one out there! At one time, I would never have admitted this either but I'm at a point now in my life where I'm not ashamed to say that I am a HSP!

If you know you are a highly sensitive person or you know someone that is, I urge you to read the following book, The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron.






For Further Reading
1) Blog Post on Highly Sensitive People And Angels
2) The Highly Sensitive Person
3) Importance Of Introverts





Blog Post & Images (c) 1/19/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Importance Of Introverts

From the book I'm reading, "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

When I was reading this quote where she quoted Carl Jung, I really thought it said so much. All my life, I've had people look down at me because I tend to be more introverted. After I get to know someone, it is much easier for me. I can at times be more extroverted but it does not come natural to me.

This is a quoted section from page 100

One cannot emphasize enough the importance of introverts in Carl Jung's view,

They are living evidence that this rich and varied world with its overflowing and intoxicating life is not purely external, but also exists within... Their life teaches more than their words... Their lives teach the other possibility, the interior life which is so painfully wanting in our civilization

Book List

I just ordered these books the other day and am anxious to get them. They cover some topics that I'm very interested in and so I thought I would share them with everybody. Sometimes I don't find books that interest me and then lately, these just sort of jumped off the shelf at me. It is usually when this happens that the books really impact me a lot. Please feel free to browse through these and let me know if there are books you are reading that I might like as well. I'm always on the lookout for good books.



The Highly Sensitive Person
by Elaine N. Aron

From Amazon Review: Are you an HSP? Are you easily overwhelmed by stimuli? Affected by other people's moods? Easily startled? Do you need to
withdraw during busy times to a private, quiet place? Do you get nervous or shaky if someone is observing you or competing with you? HSP, shorthand for "highly sensitive person," describes 15 to 20 percent of the population. Being sensitive is a normal trait--nothing defective about it. But you may not realize that, because society rewards the outgoing personality and treats shyness and sensitivity as something to be overcome.






Lessons From the Light:
In-Sights From a Journey to the Other Side
by Sandi Rogers

The personal story of a woman who, in a near-death experience, caught a glimpse of the afterlife, presents the lessons learned by Rogers about human emotions, fears, and problems.

When Sandi Rogers attempted suicide, she had no idea that the experience would provide her with an unlimited capacity for living, learning, and loving. Now Sandi shares lessons everyone can use to promote understanding, love, compassion and the basic goodness of the Golden Rule. Foreword by Betty Eadie, author of Embraced by the Light.






You Are the Answer:
Discovering and Fulfilling Your Soul's Purpose
by Michael J Tamura

World-renowned spiritual teacher, healer, and clairvoyant, Michael J. Tamura shares his wisdom in this inspirational guide to true spiritual empowerment. You Are the Answer brings us profound spiritual lessons, highlighted by the author's powerful true stories. Discover how to use your intuition, make room for spirit in your life, and respond--instead of react--to everyday experiences. As you build a temple of the soul, you'll learn to recognize truth, create miracles in your own life, and find your purpose for living!

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog

The Highly Sensitive Person

I've known for years that I'm extremely sensitive - hyper sensitive as I always called it. When I was a kid, I would cry at the smallest things. One example I love to use is if a rock got kicked around (especially if it was my pet rock), I would cry or feel extremely sad. While most people hardly see this as something of significance, many things around me in nature and the world have always taken on a different meaning and significance to me.

Friends have nicknamed me "space cowboy" because I just picked up on things and sensed things. At first, I wasn't too happy about the nickname but then I began to look at all that I do pick up. Often times, I could not verbally tell you in detail what that is but I truly sense and feel so much. For such a long time, I thought everyone could do that but I am learning that most people are not even aware of it. And I pick all kinds of things up around me in all kinds of different ways.

For example, if I walk into a building, I can tell the "energy" or "mood" of the building. It is usually instant for me and has a lot to do with the people in the building but sometimes it seems like it is the building itself. If I'm around people especially in close proximity to them, I pick up their mood, their attitudes and its almost like I feel like I'm feeling or sensing or living through what they are in their lives. Sometimes I hear sounds that are so faint, no one around me hears. I'll hear delivery trucks or people walking on the street when I'm so far removed from them it would be difficult for ears to pick up. I sometimes smell the slightest scents from a distance and sometimes I can smell individual scents as well.

LOUD NOISES
One of the things for me though is I cannot take much loud music at all. Even what some would consider to be a normal level is often way to loud for me. It gets in the way of all that I hear and pick up and just causes confusion as well as me feeling overwhelmed. I look for quiet places and enjoy the quiet surroundings. Just hearing the sounds of nature can be more than enough for me and better than any symphony that could be performed.

SOLITUDE
While I enjoy being around people, I have to have my down time away from everyone. I need my space and I need my quiet peaceful moments. Being around too many people especially in close proximity can be very overwhelming for me and the only way I can do this is to find a quiet place to retreat. While I can talk to people, I do tend to be on the shy side until I get to know someone. Actually more often than not, I am more content watching people in crowds or social situations and their interactions than to have the desire of really wanting to interact with them. I do keep my distance from people.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS OF OTHERS
There are many times that I've been in study or discussion groups and picked up stomach problems, headaches, pains and different physical conditions. Often there is much more that I pick up and the more I go through my own healing in my life, the more this intensifies.

ANIMALS
Animals are one thing I've always been connected to and sometimes, I feel as if I pick up what they are feeling, thinking or experiencing. It feels to me that I can almost talk to them and listen to them. It is like they understand me and I understand them. Often in life, I've felt more at home with animals than people and much more understood by animals than people.

BRIGHT LIGHTS
Bright lights or intense sounds or flashing lights affect me in a big way. In my vehicle, I have a rear view mirror that auto dims at night when bright lights are behind me. Actually I had this added on to the vehicle when I bought it because otherwise, driving at night is just too difficult for me. Flashing strobe lights on TV or even with an emergency vehicle are almost painful for me to view. They almost hurt my eyes and I try to avoid looking at them.

WEBSITE FOR MORE INFO
I just became aware of a website and a book about Highly Sensitive People and I've got to read this book. For years, it has felt like a curse to be so sensitive and to take in all that I do. Some days, it is too much and I long to just escape all of it. Some days, I almost have to shut down just to deal with it and to be honest, it is frightening at times. I don't completely understand it or why I am the way I am. I know that trauma in my past has had a lot to do with how my brain developed but being sensitive in our world is not always regarded as positive.


SELF TEST
If you want to take a self test, the link is www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm


EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIORS
Here's a few things that Elaine Aron shares on her website, hsperson.com

--Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?

--Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

--Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?

--Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?

--Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?

--Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?

--Do you have a rich and complex inner life?

--When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?


THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON by Elaine Aron
Here's the link to one of the books that Elaine Aron has written that I'm ordering and going to read. I'll keep you updated on the book as I read it.

Please feel free to comment or leave me a message if you're a highly sensitive person. I'd love to know that I'm not the only one out there.

*For more articles, check out the Mind Body Thoughts Blog