Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Child Abusers And Rapist Take Away Your Control

Child Abusers And Rapists
Take Away Your Control

I was watching an old episode of Doogie Howser, MD (Neil Patrick Harris) on the HUB channel. We like Doogie Howser! He's so cool. The episode of this show was on a topic where Doogie opened the door one evening at home and was met with someone pointing a gun at him. They were robbed, but not physically hurt. Of course, after this, they depict the fear of the trauma that Doogie went through.

As Doogie is considering buying a gun to protect himself, the shooting range owner says something to the effect of, what did the robbers take from you that really mattered. It wasn't the items in your house because they can be replaced. It wasn't your physical well being because you weren't shot. The thing they took was the control. They took away his control.

When I heard about that, it just resonated with me because one of the most asked questions in child sexual abuse or rape is why did it happen to me? What did I do to make it happen? The victim goes on and on for years blaming themselves. Of course, we all know that they did nothing to deserve what happened, no matter how you slice and dice it. The thing that makes the victim feel so violated, is that the abusers or rapists took away the control of the victim.

It makes perfect sense because when our control over our body and our life is taken, what do we have? You could say, we still have our soul and who we are as a person. This is very true! Yet, if the control is no longer in our possession, we are at the mercy of someone else. It is not a comforting feeling and is very difficult for the mind to comprehend, especially when you are a young child.

A child abuser or rapist does not generally molest or rape someone to fulfill sexual needs. It is all about control and manipulation of the victim. So even though a victim tries to blame themselves for a long time after an event such as this, there is little that most could do to prevent the molestation or rape. After all, if the child abusers and rapists really cared or loved their victims, they would not do these acts in the first place.

If you have gone through something like this, just realize that they took away your control. It was not your fault, no matter how hard you try to make it into something you did or did not do. Yes, healing through these things is no fun, but it is possible to heal and find your power once again in life. When you work to reclaim your power and control that was taken away, you will find freedom for your life.

One way I took back my control was on the Oprah 200 Men Show

Blog Post And Images (c) 2/24/12 Don Shetterly - use and reprint by permission only

You are welcomed to share the link to this blog post, but ask for for permission before reprinting this article.  Thanks!

No comments:

Post a Comment