Observing Authenticity

I constantly am observing life and how we interact with our world and other inhabitants that walk this earth.  I've been a people watcher from the time I was very young or as far back as I can remember.  People are interesting creatures and often times, it is better than any movie I could ever watch.

Yet, as I observe how I fit into this world, I see that I am often measured and filtered with respect to where I go, what I do and how I allow the rest of the world to see me.  Sometimes I go overboard on this and other times I am probably too lenient on myself.  It is almost like I try to navigate through life using my reference with the world as stars to chart my course.

One of the things I know that I do is I hold back.  I'm afraid to make mistakes and afraid to fail.  God knows I'm not perfect and even when I try to present that front to the world, it becomes an illusion.  Often times I want to make sure the world knows that I have everything together even when I'm crumbling inside.

I still remember when I was recovering from my paralysis as a result of Conversion Disorder (also known as Functional Neurological Disorder- FND) and finally getting back in touch with friends, that a friend made a profound comment to me about my life.  He said in shock and disbelief, "you were in the hospital because you could not handle life and stress got the best of you  - you of all people?  Why, we thought out of the group of us friends, you were the one that had it all together!"

News Comments That Destroy Humanity

Today as I am writing this, I once again see a news report that brings shame upon the inhabitants of the world.  It isn't so much the story, as it is how we react to the news with our comments and opinions stated as facts.  It is how we disparage one another that is of greater value to me, than what our positions are based upon which side of the view point we fall upon.

We've all read the stories lately of the airplane crash, the George Zimmerman trial, and the supreme court rulings among others.  Unfortunately, if you go and begin reading the comments below these stories or follow the twitter feeds, you see just how much people online show their hatred and disrespect for one another anonymously.  It really is sad if you stop and think about it.

I'm sure we are all passionately concerned about things that happen around us and when we feel helpless, we tend to find a way in life to give ourselves some point of reference.  Often this comes out in how we react to these situations in what we say and do.  Most often, while these things may be a part of our current awareness, they are not always appropriate to display in an anonymous fashion online.

Remember back to the days when message boards first came out.  You had some control type personalities that tried to monitor every word that happened.  In addition, you had those that lurked in the shadows trying to stir up trouble.  Let's not forget about the ones that would see something posted and then react, because after all they weren't screaming or disrespecting another person - it was the screen or the computer or the internet site they were screaming to.  It wasn't perceived as a person, although in many aspects it was.

Afraid Of The Light Bulb

The other day, I went to the Thomas Edison Museum in Fort Myers, Florida.  It was a magical moment to me, because Thomas Edison has always been a hero of mine since childhood.  I was always taken in by his ability to see beyond the box and think outside the box, even when his teachers in school didn't think he was very bright.

As a young kid, I was often bored in school.  No, I'm not comparing myself to Thomas Edison but it didn't challenge me and I often felt like that is what Thomas Edison went through with his teachers.  Most teachers wanted to give us busy work, but few could really explain the material in a way that captivated my mind.  As a result, my mind would wander and daydream constantly.

Getting back to the purpose of this blog post, I am often amazed at just how humans hold back from things they do not know.  They become too afraid of something different outside the normal range of thinking.  Humans do this all the time, holding on to beliefs and opinions as evidence of the only truth in their life. While it is great to have principles and things you believe in, allowing yourself to be blinded by them is not helpful to the human experience.