I'm reading about how the wife of the suspected bombing terrorist was so shocked to learn that her husband was involved in this. While I'm sure she was shocked and had no clue, it wasn't because they didn't know. It was more likely that she just didn't want to see this. After all, her friends are saying that the guy was not the nicest guy to be around or live with. Again, we only see what we want to see.
In my house growing up, all kinds of abuse was taking place while most of the family didn't know it was happening to each other. It was far easier to just go around and live like everything was so great and everyone was happy and there was nothing wrong. It was easier to just not talk about it, mainly because of the fear of repercussion, but it didn't mean it was not going on.
Years after I was gone from this situation, I learned of another family member who went through stuff I was not aware of until they told me. They were angry at me for not protecting them and stopping it, but I was just a kid for one and at the time, I was in college not realizing what was happening at home. In my mind, I had hoped and convinced myself that it had stopped. Boy, had I fooled myself into only seeing what I wanted to see.
It appears there could be another situation connected to what I went through with someone else. I have no way to contact this person and feel like my hands are tied. I'm pretty sure that the members of this household chose not to see what was happening before their eyes.
While I make the argument that we choose to see what it is we want to see, I do know that in abusive situations, the victim and any other supporting persons are taught to keep silent. There is fear and repercussions that will silence any victim. I understand that. I went through that. However, it doesn't mean that everyone didn't know it was happening.
We as humans choose to live in a fantasy world all too often and we don't open our eyes to what is around us. We tend to put on our rose colored glasses while convincing ourself we're seeing beautiful sunsets. We go through life sharing happy thoughts on social media, but yet we are suffering inside because we close our eyes.
It is truly time that we begin to wake up and begin to see all that is around us. We need to stop closing our eyes to the truth while making up the truth as we go. We need to start getting honest with ourselves and quit worrying about engaging with everything that really doesn't matter. Now is the time for us to wake up and understand that there is much more to being human than what we currently experience.
One final note to consider is that before you think it is everyone else that only sees what they want to see, stop for a moment. It is each one of us that does this and if we don't see that we are doing it, then it is time us as an individual to open our eyes.
Blog Post And Images (c) 4/29/13 by Don Shetterly
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