Saturday, December 31, 2016

What We Say Is Not Always True

We all like to put the best foot forward.  We like people to see the side of us that looks good, acts right, and makes us appear as if we have it all together.  Unfortunately, we're often just trying to paint lipstick on a pig and thinking it a clown.

What we say isn't always true or as true as we lead ourselves to believe.  Now, I'm not claiming that we intentionally lie to others.  Maybe you could make the claim that we do and it would be correct.  I'm really saying that we show one side to the world and another that we show to only those we truly trust and feel safe around.

Sometimes you need to modulate how much you show to the world.  Not everyone needs to hear everything that has happened in your life.  It can easily be too much and overwhelm others.  There are times that the details are just not appropriate for everyone to hear.  There are boundaries you need to establish as well.  So, please don't mistake what I'm saying that we have to be an  open book 100% of the time.  Definitely not!

How true is the story we tell...

We just need to be mindful though of the story we tell and how true or not true it is.  Whether it is to our self or those that we love and trust, how much are we holding back?  How real and authentic is it?  How much are we projecting on to the things that really aren't the culprits?

It is easy to blame everything and anyone for our situation in life.  Believe me, there are some that definitely deserve the blame.  However, in the current moment we have, what we do and how we act is totally up to us.  How we view our life and our possibilities is now in our possession.  Yes, there are influencing factors in our life that weigh heavily on this, but in this current moment, it is up to us how we proceed.

Pushing away others...

Trying to hide the real self and say what we think others only want to hear is not necessarily the most helpful.  Especially if you're in a therapeutic relationship or even with an intimate partner, trying to alter truth and reality is not helpful.  The more authentic and open you can be in those cases, the more connection, love, and support that will be there.

Some days I want to go hide in my cave and when I do that, I assume and pontificate that all others hate me.  I proclaim that no one wants me and no one cares.  In those moments, when I'm hiding my true self and saying something different to those around me, I'm deepening the divide between us.  I'm pushing away the connection to others I so desperately need.

It took me a long time to begin to own up to what had taken place in my life.  Yes, it was horrible.  Yes, I went through childhood sexual abuse, torture and intense trauma.  The thing is, I kept it hidden from everyone, including myself and it nearly cost me my life.  I took my last few breaths before I woke up.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/10/what-we-show-to-world.html

If  you are hiding such deep pain from view, don't beat yourself up for it because that is part of your survival.  Instead, begin to see if there is someone you can trust enough and who is safe enough, that maybe you can reach out a little to them.  If they reach back with love and compassion, you've got someone that can help you climb out of the depths you are in.  If they reach back with judgment, keep looking for those that have love and compassion.  They are out there!

No matter what, work at being honest and authentic in your life.  Don't settle with what you try to tell yourself is true.  Instead, allow yourself to go in and find those ugly parts so you can let them go.  They are robbing you of energy and once you reclaim them, the energy that is freed up will help you go further than you ever realized was possible.


#Truth





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Friday, December 30, 2016

Writing From My Experience

I try.  Some days I think I make it more than others.  I try to write from my experience and from what I've learned.  I try to not share things that I have not been able to prove in my own life.

In what I write, I try to share the struggles I face and pull out the vulnerability stops so you get to see my struggle exposed.  My goal is to share where I've come from but also focus on how I healed or how I found ways to take the steps forward.

My experience is all I can prove.  I can't tell you with 100% certainty that x, y and z are absolute facts.  Yes, we have learned that they are the last three letters of the alphabet, but I have very little to scientifically prove that they are.  I can use examples of the alphabet charts and probably look at history, but again, I know what I've been taught.

One of the things I see the world do and it makes me shudder, is we rely to much on what we've been taught without questioning it.  We fail to realize that our experience is a much better teacher.

When we are vulnerable...

For it is when we are vulnerable that we become more connected to others.  It is at that moment that others can connect to us through our own vulnerability.

The connected part is the support we crave from one another.  It is where we feel that humanness between us and others.  It is the point where we open up and through sharing our path of healing from our own pain, that we find others see their pain in a different way.

They become truth...

I've seen things happen on a treatment table not only in myself, but in others.  Some of them have been things that blew my mind because I did not think that was possible.  In those moments, they become truth in myself because I am able to see them repeated over and over.  For if they only happen once, we have to be leery of what caused them, but if we see them happen again, then we know we are on to something.

I've learned too that just because I have found truth in my own healing, others may not see it that way.  They have not had the same healing experiences I have had.  I try to be patient and understanding.  I try to hold judgment at the door.  For each one of us has our own path we must travel and we're not all at the same point at the same time.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/10/sharing-personal-insights-with-world.html

Writing from my experience allows me to be at one with myself and look at things in ways that I may never have seen.  It allows me the option of going deeper and further into it so I can look at all sides, not just the ones I want to allow myself to see.

Writing from my experience is what helps give me hope and sustenance.  Knowing that I am not only finding a way through my own trauma and healing, but that I'm being there for others.  Through my own pain, I'm allowing myself to be there hoping that my flashlight burns bright enough on the path behind me so someone finds their own footing.

#Sharing







Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, December 29, 2016

Words Have Consequences

Everyone seems to forget this.  It happens all too often.  We think that the words we write in a twitter feed or facebook post or share as comments on a news story are just words.  However, words do have consequences.

We forget that although we are writing these words to a computer screen, there are real people on the other side of our screen.  This used to be a problem only to forums and message boards, but these days, it permeates every corner of our society.

Words matter.  Words can hurt.  Words can lift others up.  It is how we use our words and our speech that either makes us more human or less.  We cannot just sit idly by and spew words, not thinking or caring what they mean to our own civilization and the world as a whole.

Words cannot just be for gain over another human or group or ideology.  Words cannot just be for winning at all costs.  Words cannot just be one thing you say one minute and then revise the next.  For our words are what we communicate to others and words do have consequences.  People will know us not only by our actions, but by our words.

Words hurt..

In this day we are living in, words seem to either hurt and inflame, or disregard the very nature of human existence.  Many are oblivious to what they say and they feel because of whatever hurt or experience has happened in their own life, they are free to say what they want.  In fact, many believe that it is their right to do so.

Yet, when the words are hurled back upon them, they think others are being unfair.  Never mind that what they spew is beyond horrible.  It is only what others say to them.  It is sad because while they cannot take their own medicine, they don't understand any longer that words have consequences.

Speaking out both sides of your mouth...

When you speak out of both sides of your mouth, what should those that hear think?  How will they know which conclusion to reach about what you say?  If you are constantly saying one thing just to win, but then you're acting and saying something different, your words are like standing in sinking sand.  There is nothing for anyone to solidly stand on.

I grew up in a house where individuals said one thing, but would do another.  I grew up in a house where one thing was said one moment, only for the next moment to be the complete opposite.  I grew up in a house where individuals would say whatever they wanted, not caring how deeply it hurt others and having absolutely no love in their hears.  They did not understand that words have consequences.

When people don't care about the words they spew, you can't get down in the gutter with them.  You're not going to win that battle because ignorance will prevail.  It takes deep love and compassion for them.  Sometimes it takes walking away from them, for if they never listen, the words will be meaningless and fall on ears that can never hear.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/10/what-we-show-to-world.html

Words have consequences and the only replacement for them is love and compassion in our hearts.  We need to make sure we are not pointing our fingers at others for failing to understand this when we take the same approach.

These days, through all the screaming online and in the news, there are very few that really understand that words have consequences.  May we all begin to ponder how we use our words.  May we search our own hearts before pointing the fingers at everyone else.  After all, it is not just everybody else that is the problem. 

#Words






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The Neglected Pepper Plant

Sometimes things can grow out of almost nothing.  In one of our Earthboxes, we had a red pepper plant growing.  Of course, the weather got to hot in our central Florida summers and so the plants died out. 

There was no need to water it any longer as the plant was at the end of its life cycle.

Lately, we have not had much rain, other than foggy nights which bring a little moisture to our world. 

However, I was looking at our red pepper plant and noticed that it had come back to life.  In fact, it had a couple of peppers on it.

Now these peppers didn't look all that great.  When you think of them coming from the neglected pepper plant, I think it is pretty cool what could be produced. 

I'm still not sure how a plant with little water could revive itself and grow these peppers, but it did.

The earthbox is a self contained growing box that I love and does a great job.  However, you have to add water to it.  Water doesn't just get in there easily.


So, as I compare this to life, sometimes we think we are neglected pepper plants.  Maybe our lives had experiences where we were neglected or mistreated or abused.  Yet, somehow, we've made it this far.

We've survived and we are growing and thriving.  We're producing fruit from our life.  Yeah, we might have some blemishes, but to grow something beautiful out of nothing is pretty darn impressive in my eyes.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/04/earthbox-vegetables-are-best.html

So maybe instead of seeing all of the ugliness we have experienced, let us not forget to look at the fruit that was produced.  As we reach out to others and heal ourselves, we're working to make a neglected pepper plant into something so needed to sustain life.

#Earthbox








Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

We Remember Failure More Than Success

It is funny (OK, wrong choice of words here), but maybe I should say that it is interesting how humans tend to remember their failures and not always the successes as much.  At least I know I do that.  I find myself focusing on those darn failures and holding them up as proof that my life is horrible. If you don't, my hat is off to you!

When I was working at grocery store in college, I had to get on the loud speaker and say to a customer, “your order is ready”.  Ok, doesn't that sound pretty simple and easy to do?  Unfortunately it was much harder than I realized.  When I started to speak, all that came out was your…blah, noise, blah..blah, noise, sounds.  Imagine nothing sounding coherent that came out of my mouth.  Words that had no meaning and no language from where they came.

It is all that came out.  I died of embarrassment and horror.  The failure was evident in my eyes.  After that moment, I struggled to talk into a microphone or in public in any way.

Barely able to get words out...

After college, I had a job where we had meetings with several hundred people and I had to talk to them on stage.  I would be sweating profusely and barely able to get any words out.  My mouth would be so dry it felt like I was eating sand.  Everyone would look at me and offer all kinds of remedies and none of them worked. 

Fast forward to a year ago and I actually gave some talks (Syncing The Mind and Body Seminar).  I was nervous, but I did it.  It actually helped that in the job I had prior to this, I was training people almost every week in different cities.  I was doing conference calls and several other things things where I was talking to strangers in situations that weren't comfortable.

I still get shy...

While these last experiences helped me, I still get shy and sometimes it is hard for me to speak in front of people.  And yet, I want to teach!  Figure that one out!  At one time in my life, I was not afraid to talk and then that all changed.

I remember growing up as a kid where I was taught in some very physical ways, kids are to be seen and not heard.  I remember a cousin that made fun of me when I tried to tell them something that I found made me happy.  I remember the times I was beat because I didn't say the right thing at the right time.  I remember when I tried to speak up and was met with punishment beyond belief.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/09/life-has-changed-in-six-weeks.html


Yet, I see myself as having failed several times in life and sometimes that just isn’t easy point to get back from. Sometimes these moments have really taken me down and sometimes they are just too hard to even want to take a glimpse through my eyes.

The one thing I know is that usually these events become a springboard to future growth.  Yes, they may feel like failure in the beginning, but as I've found in my own life, things change.  Sometimes I needed those low moments of failure to find the next step to the springboard that would launch me further into life.

#Failure








Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, December 26, 2016

Financial Pain In The Neck

One of the things that I’ve struggled with over the years is finances.  Even when I’ve had money in my bank account, I get nervous about tomorrow.  I get nervous if it will be there.  I get the feeling that it will all be gone and there will be no more and I’ll be hungry and homeless. 

While all of those fears may be irrational and they don’t happen, they almost did at one time in my life.  That’s a part of my past, I’ll withhold from more detail because it is a dark part that I wish would have never happened. 

Then there is the part that when I was growing up, food was scarce.  I remember the free school lunches that sometimes were the main meal for my day.  I remember the government handouts of dried powder milk, dried eggs, and peanut butter.  No, they didn’t taste good but hunger outranked taste.

We went to bed hungry many times.  We shivered in the cold rural farm houses we lived.  Our boots that we trudged through the cold frozen snowy ground had holes in them.  Our mittens were thin.  Probably at one time, I could have packed all the clothes I had in one suitcase.  So some of the fears are real, even if they are from the past.

Abundance and financial security...

Abundance and financial security are concepts I still struggle with no matter what I do.  I’ve made progress, but then I got hit front and center with this latest trigger that messed with my head.

As I finally got up the courage to check my bank account and pay bills that I knew were coming due, the anxiety was so high.  In fact, I almost had an anxiety attack just getting myself to do the regular financial routine.  I wasn’t able to do too much because it was just overwhelming, so I did what I could and closed things down.  I didn’t think any more of it – until I went to bed.

My neck began to hurt...

Laying my head on my pillow and drifting off to sleep or trying to sleep, my neck began to hurt.  Now, as I’ve went through tremendous healing, there is one part of me that I still struggle with and that is my neck.  Often I have a lot of neck pain and if it isn’t every day, then it occurs frequently in the week depending on my physical activity.  At times, it is better.  At other times, it is worse.

Dr. Canali has a difficult time working with my neck and trying to get it and my shoulders to release.  Even if he distracts me, the minute he gets close to touching my neck, my entire body freezes on the treatment table.  At times, he has been able to work with it, but most of the time, it is hands off or I freeze approach.

So, as I was laying in bed, my neck began to hurt.  Often I can breathe a little and work on some relaxation and it will go away.  Tonight, nothing worked for me!  A few hours earlier, I struggled through the anxiety of the finances, but had not even considered the connection at this point.

The pain was escalating... 

Finally after I was not able to get the pain and tension to reduce, I ended up getting up out of bed.  The pain was escalating and the headache was increasing.  My neck muscle area felt cold and lifeless.  Yet, I could feel the intensity of the pain in a way I had never felt before.  I gave up and took an Aleve to try to bring the pain down a little.  I’m not a person that likes to take pills for pain.  For me, its about solving the issue – not masking the issue.  In this case, I could not alleviate the pain.

The Aleve did help and some more attempts to relaxing this area and breathing into it started to ease things a bit that allowed me to go back to bed.  I slept for several hours before waking up, but the pain and tension were still prevalent.  I was so hoping that with some sleep, they would improve.

After I got up, I almost took another Aleve, but I didn’t want to do that.  I knew that masking the pain was not going to help.  Most people turn towards the pain relievers, but I’m not one of those that do this.

I plugged in the Resperate...

So I finally got on my own treatment table, plugged the Resperate in and started to do the deep breathing connection with my body.  I went through two full cycles of this.  It was interesting to note that my pulse was actually lower, almost as if the anxiety and stress were weighing hard on my nervous system.  As I continued with the Reperate, I saw my pulse drop down, my breath slow way down and I felt the tension leave my body.

It was in that moment that I saw the little boy cowering in the corner of the room with his head down and his arms covering his head.  As things flew overhead, I was ducking and trying to keep myself from getting hurt.  My parents were at it again, fighting and screaming and throwing things – all over the family finances or what my Dad had spent when we had no money.  It felt like a war zone in those moments.  It seemed like it went on forever.  It seemed like it went on every day.  I cringe at the thought of what that little boy went through.  That little boy was me.

I saw the connection between what happened in my neck with the pain and tension and having to hunker down and duck from the things being thrown across the room.  I’ve never remember this one until now.  I wish I could forget.  I wish it never happened. 

At this moment, I’m really not sure what I do with this.  How do you recover from something that happened so long ago, but yet this most likely has a strong impact on how I view finances.  Finances are a war zone to me, where you just try to avoid them and duck so you don’t get hurt.  This isn’t really a good message to attract abundance or financial stability into my life.  In fact, the obvious statement is that it is the complete opposite.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/08/financial-struggles.html

I’ve struggled for a long time with neck issues.  Maybe I’m beginning to see what is fueling them.  Maybe it is more than just normal tension and stress.  If I had to sit down and create a movie about these experiences, it would not be hard to do.  The images and scenes feel so vivid and real.  They feel like one right after another.

I know they are challenges that I’ll find a way to overcome the financial pain in my neck.  I don’t get swept up into feeling like there is no way out and I don’t just do the doom and gloom.  I write these words so I can learn and process and find my way through it so that maybe they have less impact upon me.

I know of no other way to heal from them at this moment.  It is the beginning of trying to find healing and I’ve got a feeling that as I heal, so many other things in my life will stabilize more.

 #FinancialStruggles






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Sunday, December 25, 2016

Does Peace Start Within You

Let it ring through the season.  Let peace fill our hearts.  Let peace reign over the earth.

We all want peace for the world and our lives.  We all want there to be less strife and war and all the screaming and yelling we see happen every day.

Yet, it seems like we do everything but what is required for peace.

I need to ask the question, Does Peace Start Within You? 

We can look for peace in all the places we look for it.  We can expect others to be at peace.  We can hold our leaders to the precipice where peace reigns, but aren't we forgetting about ourselves?

You see, its so easy to expect everyone to live a life of peace and therefore make our lives peaceful.  It's easy to expect others to live the way we think they should because if we focus upon this thought, we deflect what is going on within our own life.

Why not in the celebration of peace this year, we seek to find peace within our own life?  Let us search deep within and come to know our own peace, so that it radiates out to the rest of the world.  For peace that does not start within us has a foundation as shaky as sand on the ocean shore.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2015/11/peace-on-earth-begins-with-me.html

Peace needs to start within you and me and everyone individually.  It is when we do what we need to do, rather than pointing the fingers, that we find there is more peace in this world than we imagined.  It is not up to others to do this for us.

It is up to each and everyone of us to play a critical starring role in bringing peace to the world.  First, it must start within each one of us before we can spread it to the world.

#Peace








Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Main Causes Of Death

Well, ain't this blog a downer!  After all, who wants to think about the  top three main causes of death.  Unfortunately, when I saw this list the other day in a class I took, I was kind of shocked.

Maybe you're not as shocked as I am.

In fact, as I look at this list, I'm thinking to myself that many of them could probably be altered.  In a way, it feels like they are something we can do something about in this country.

Yet, why do we not do the things that we need to do to make ourselves truly more healthy?

Top three main causes of death

  1. Heart Disease
  2. Cancer
  3. Medical Errors

Before reading any further, take a look at the list again. 

Let it sink in for a few moments.

Heart Disease

Heart Disease is something that can be impacted I think by lifestyle and healing those rough experiences in your life.  If you don't eat right and push garbage into your body, you're only going to get garbage out in the way of disease, illness and in this case, heart disease.

There are far too many broken hearts out there and hearts that have had to endure far too much pain.  In fact, if you read the ACE study, you'll see how past experiences and trauma physically impact the body.  Take a look at an earlier blog post I wrote on "The Bomb In The Brain" for more details.

The point is, there are things that we can do and change in our daily life that will impact our body in a positive way.  We only have one heart and if we beat the crap out of it every day of our lives, can we expect any different result?

If we are living a sedentary lifestyle with no activity, a poor diet, and not dealing with things in our life, we're just setting ourselves up for this ultimate cause of death.

You may want to read Jeff's article on The Truth About Sugar and Heart Disease.

Cancer

Next up is Cancer.  We had a personal loss in our family with this one and it is not easy to watch someone go through it.  Cancer is growing to alarming rates.  When I was a kid, it was something you heard people getting every now and then.  Now, it seems as if everyone knows someone with cancer or who died from cancer.

While I realize a lot of research is still going into this, there are lifestyle things that we can do to change it.  Again, if you fail to take care of your body and your mind, you are just setting yourself up for failure and disease at some point in the future.

One of the last things a family member said to me before she passed away was to cut down on sugar.  I have been trying to do that, but I also know that some of the stuff that goes in our food is no more healthy than sugar.  If you're not reading the labels on what you buy at the store or paying attention to what you eat in restaurants, you're walking into a mine field.

What we are doing in this country is not working and in order to change things, we need to change our approach.  I don't believe taking more medications is the answer.  This is my personal opinion and belief.   I believe there are other ways to take care of ourselves that are natural, not for the profits of a pharmaceutical industry.

Each day, we do our smoothies made from fresh and whole vegetables and fruits found in our local grocery store.  We blend it up and it helps not only digestion, but we just don't get flu and colds like we once did.  No, I do not buy into the flu vaccinations either.  I do natural stuff instead and even if I pick up a little virus, usually by the next day, it is improving.  We have seen remarkable effects of doing these smoothies and I would urge you to read my blog post on "Healing Diseases With Smoothies"

Medical Errors

The last one up on the list is medical errors. This one shocks and horrifies me, especially knowing just how addicted we are these day to surgeries and procedures.  I know that in Florida as a Licensed Massage Therapist, we are required to take CEU's on medical errors to renew our licenses.  I'm sure most of the medical professional in this state are required to do that as well.  I'm not sure what other states require.  Obviously the training is not working!

Just think about this for a moment.  Someone's death has been caused by a medical error and it is the third leading cause of death.  It is mind blowing to me.  I can't even begin to comprehend this.  Yet, we are looking for surgeries and procedures to help save us from ourselves.  Take a look at Dr. John Sarno's book, The Mind Body Prescription. It is mind blowing some of his pioneering discoveries that are still being ignored to this day.

Instead of taking care of ourselves and realizing that we are in control of our health, not our doctors, we're opting for surgeries and procedures that are putting us at risk of death through medical errors.  Does that make sense to anyone?  Perhaps, there is a different way we should be doing things with our health?

Health Care System

We are reaching a critical mass period I think in our health care system.  No, it is not the fault of some politician or some company or whatever it is you may feel.  It is the result of each one of us not taking care of ourselves and being so numb and disconnected to our body, that we don't see what is happening until it is too late.

Our body sends us messages, but more often than not, we don't hear the messages and even if we do, we don't listen.  We push our bodies beyond the limits.  We put garbage into them expecting them to just balance and keep going.  We allow the food industry to entice us with healthy stuff and then eat as if there is no tomorrow.  We sit at our computers and in front of our video games and TV, hoping that a trip to the refrigerator for another beer or more food will be all the exercise and activity we need.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/11/the-truth-about-sugar-and-heart-disease.html

Surely we can do better as humans.  Surely, our brains know much more than this.  Each one of us has a much greater impact on our health than we realize or even care to think about in a day.  We just know that we've got health insurance and our doctor will give us a pill or a surgery or a procedure to make us all better.  Unfortunately, we're living in an illusion.

It is up to each one of us to choose how we will live our life and what we will do to our mind and body.  If we choose wisely, it has good benefits.  If we continue to make poor choices, than we may become another statistic in the main causes of death.

#Health







Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Friday, December 23, 2016

Trauma Keeps Peace Away

I know other people have written much more in-depth about this subject and one of them that comes to my mind is Peter Levine in his book, "Waking The Tiger".  One of the most horrible things that trauma does long term to a person is it keeps the peace away.

Yes, we can begin to find peace, but trauma keeps the body revved up.  It keeps the moments of when the trauma happened in the forefront of our brain as if they are still happening.  Because of the impact of these moments, it keeps our nervous system on edge and our brain from slowing down.

If you read the book, "Waking The Tiger", you'll see a very good and healthy explanation of what trauma does to the body and the mind.  It is the basis for much of what I have learned along with what has physically been demonstrated to me in my own body through healing with Dr. Paul Canali of Unified Therapy.

You can compare trauma to walking through the jungle.  There are predators out there and if you don't watch out, you'll become lunch for an animal in the jungle.  Let's use being hunted by a Tiger as Dr. Peter Levine discusses.

Your body is revved up...

In trauma, the Tiger pounces and attacks just like walking through the jungle.  Even if you somehow escape the Tiger or the trauma, your body is still revved up like the event is happening.  We've all had those moments that shocks or frightens us and it takes a while to come down.  Trauma does the same thing, but to a much greater degree.  Trauma keeps us in that revved up state.  The long term impacts of it can be felt and see in the mind and body for years after it stopped. 

Even long after the trauma has passed, it is as if we are still experiencing it.  This is why reaching out to support groups, therapists and other body-centered trauma healing is essential.  It isn't about being weak, but learning and discovering how to let go of the residual impacts from the trauma.  It is about finding ways to heal from our inner core.  It is about reclaiming all that we are and learning how to show trauma the door.

As if things never ended...

I went through intense torture and childhood sexual abuse.  It shaped me in so many ways.  While I've done extensive deep body healing from the trauma with Dr. Paul Canali, there are moments that the triggers act as if the Tiger is still chasing me.  Of course, I know that the events have stopped, but in my mind and neural pathways, they are still acting as if things never ended.  Trauma keeps us in that state.

The body needs to be a central part of continued healing because even though we try to disconnect, forget and numb, the cells, muscles, nervous system and the brain still remember.  They don't forget.  Unless these parts of our bodies are healed deeply, they will continue to rev up the nervous system from the trauma and keep peace away.

Deep peace is difficult after Trauma...

If your body is on full alert because it believes there is a Tiger waiting to pounce, most likely you are not going to be able to lay down and take a nice restful nap.  It is the same with trauma.  As long as the trauma remains within us, true and deep peace will be difficult to grasp.

One of the things that I so love about Unified Therapy with Dr. Paul Canali is that after you've gone through a moment of deep release, the peace that ensues is unlike anything we have ever felt.  It is such a deep peace that you beg him to just leave you in that place, not wanting to come out from it.  It is hard to describe it, but in the process of healing through this work, when you do feel what I'm talking about, it will blow your mind!

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2011/01/heal-trauma-internally.html


In healing, we have to learn how to understand that the Tiger is no longer chasing us.  Our minds will make us believe that it is while keeping it from our conscious thought.  Our minds try so hard to protect us that we often stay in numbing and disconnectedness.  It is in reconciling these things that we will find further healing into a life that is truly ours.  It is in these moments of healing that we will discover more of who we are and that is a beautiful thing.  It is a place of peace.

Trauma may try to keep the peace away, but the more we work to heal, the more we will discover it.  Healing is about taking our life back from those things that stole it.  It is about finding that awareness which leads us to a greater peace than we've ever known. 

#HealTrauma






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, December 22, 2016

Are We Part Of The Problem?

Some days it is hard to be silent.  I see things posted and I so badly want to jump in the fray and force my screams and rants on everyone else.  Sometimes it is all I can do to hold myself back.

However, if I go off and do the screaming, ranting, and mocking that is so prevalent on the internet, then am I any better than the ones that I decry who do this?  I believe if I go out and do that which I abhor, then I'm not any better.  You can't chastise others if you're doing the same as them.

In fact, if I join the screaming and yelling online, I am really being condescending. It would be the same as me looking down at those who do this, while claiming I'm better.  Yet, I see this happen every day by every one it seems.  Online social media is filled with t his behavior.

I try hard to just not join in because to me, there is nothing to be gained.  No one is listening to anyone.  Everyone is calling each other names or saying despicable things about the ones they disagree with online.  So, what would I gain if I did the same thing?

Is that authentic and helpful?

I have a brother who goes to church on Sunday to a very fundamentalist church where they have all the answers and everyone else is lost and going to hell.  Yet, when you see his stuff he shares with others online, it is some of the most hateful things that I see posted.  He holds nothing back as to what he shares about those who don't think like him.  Is that helpful?  Is that authentic?  I think we could all answer those questions easily.

The thing is though, it isn't just my older brother.  It feels like it is everyone, not just of one belief or another.  If you don't go and respond to the bull-crap that's spewed on the internet, my hat is off to you.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure there are many that don't do this.  It is just too wide spread out there.

We give very little value to humanity...

If we are going to see everyone as either agreeing with us or not, then we give very little value to humanity.  If we are going to see everyone as being for or against us or some viewpoint, then we give very little value to humanity.  Surely we can be more than that as humans!

With what I've seen online, I'm so turned off to all of this.  No one is listening to the other.  It is just a free-for-all on all sides, not just one side.  Yes, there are some that act horribly, but if you engage with them, what does that say about you?  If you try to bully a bully on a playground, are you any better than the bully you despise?

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/07/people-are-too-quick-to-criticize.html

I'm afraid that if we don't pull our daggers back in, we're going to cause irreparable harm to not only our country, but this world and more importantly, humanity.  We can't wait for the others to come around to whatever viewpoint we have.

We need to start acting like humans that are here to work together.  We need to show the love for one another like we claim to have for everyone.  We need to learn what really matters in a day and what is nothing more than noise on the continuum of life.

#TreatOneAnother 






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, December 21, 2016

What More Could You Be Doing?

Our health is one of those things that we think about, know about, and act on every day, but sometimes we just don't do as much for our heath as we should.  So, my question to you is, what more could you be doing for your health?

It sounds like such a simple question but in all reality it is not.  If we all did as much for our health as we should, our country and the world would be far healthier than it is.  Health care costs would be lower and people would most likely not be as cranky because of pain.

Part of the problem is that we see the doctors as holding the key to our health, rather than impacting our health through our daily actions and activities.  We think because we have insurance for when something goes wrong, that we can put off the little healthy activities that add up.  It is part of our human behavior to do this.

I am always amused when I hear people talk about how healthy they eat.  I worked in a fast food restaurant and people would order the salad bar and then add on fries and a milkshake.  I always sat there dumbfounded, but hey in the fast food world, its profits over health.  We weren't allowed to encourage people to think about what they eat.  We were to sell them as much as we could get them to eat.

People talk about how healthy they are...

I see people talk about how healthy they eat, but then if you go into the grocery store of certain areas, it does not match what people claim.  If you look at the overall obesity in these same areas, there is plenty of evidence that people don't eat as healthy as they think they do.  Look at how much produce is purchased versus how many soft drinks, snacks, and processed foods go through the cash registers.

How many people go and gulp down sugar-flavored coffee drinks every day.  Do you realize just how many calories are in one of those things?  If not, do a google search and you'll find the answer.

If you aren't reading the labels in the grocery store, you're eating stuff that is of questionable value and most likely full of sugar or other things that do nothing for your health.  I am constantly amazed at what is put into foods in the grocery store.  It blows my mind and if you don't read every label, you're going to get bamboozled.

Activity that gets you moving...

How many people go out and walk or take part in activity that gets them moving where they can burn some calories, move the toxins from the cells, and get those joints a rocking?  We've all got the same amount of minutes in a day and its really up to us in how we use those minutes.  Are you being effective with your minutes?  If not, what can  you do to change that?

Diabetes is fast becoming a major health issue in this country and so much of this is caused by lifestyle choices.  If you keep dumping sugar and junk into your body, sooner or later it is going to catch up.  Why not start cutting back on sugary drinks or sugar in your diet.  Add more "water" to your day.  Keep a glass of water close to your desk and see how many of those you can drink in a day.

There are so many things we can do to impact our health, but for whatever reason, we don't do them.  We talk about it.  We sometimes mock those that don't do it.  Yet, we're right in there making the same poor choices.

About medications and doctors...

Just because you're on a medication that has balanced whatever issue out in your life, it doesn't mean that this condition is okay.  It just means the medication is replacing your role in the condition.  Yes, I know that there are some medications that are needed and I'm not telling you to stop your meds.  What I am urging you to do is think about your role in the situation.  What more could you be doing?

Don't expect your doctor to have the time to hold you by the hand.  Many doctors are so overwhelmed with patient loads that they have little time to counsel you.  Many really want to help, but outside factors, including your willingness to change, often prevents them from doing what they need to do. Far too often, doctors have their own paradigms of healing, so why not learn on your own and discover how you can interact with your own health.

We all make choices on our health.  We all make decisions as to whether we're going to work to be more healthy or not.  Often, everyone waits until they are at the critical emergency state before we wake up and start to do something.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/06/angry-at-your-doctor-or-therapist.html

Our health is not going to improve on its own if we keep treating our mind and our body like garbage dumps.  So, I'll end with the question I started with on this blog post.   

What more could you be doing for your health?

Feel free to leave a comment of what you think you could be doing to help your own health.  See if you can come up with a plan where you take action and do something.  You may just be saving your own life from misery, pain, and expensive medical bills.

#health





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Movement Does A Body Good

We all know this.  It isn't anything new, is it?  Yet, it seems like we all forget about it.  We go through life, sitting on our backsides far too much.  Whether its at the office all day long, or at home in front of the TV and the computer, we are far too sedentary.

Movement does a body good, but in order to do that, you've got to get yourself moving.  You need activity.  Exercise is often considered a negative word and people don't do it, but if you just take a 15 minute walk every day or twice a day, it could really change your life.

I know, I'm just as guilty as the next person.  I either get to busy and forget to do it or I just don't make time to move and get active.  So, while I'm writing this to the "collective blogosphere", I'm really writing this to myself.

Yet, I'm not going to let you off the hook that easily.

We as a society are far too sedentary and it is affecting the health of our country.  If you really want to do something for your health, get moving.  Studies show that you'll help ease chronic pain, diabetes, obesity and weight issues plus overall, you'll just feel better.  Movement does a body good!

You don't have to make it elaborate!  Just get moving your body.  Get out there and find whatever it is that you like to do, and do it.  It could be a 15 minute walk in the morning or at night.  Maybe even taking 15 minutes and going for a walk at lunch could do so much for your mind and body that you would improve your health and well being drastically.

If you're like most, you probably say, but I'm too busy.  I don't doubt that, but if you keep running your car without an oil change, what will most likely happen?  You'll have a major repair.  The same goes for the body.  If you keep pushing it without taking care of it, sooner or later you'll be sitting in the doctor's office with some major health condition.

Find a time, any time of the day that works and make your activity simple.  We all have a few minutes at some point in the day.  Take five minutes every hour and walk up and down several flights of stairs in your office building.  Take 15 minutes at lunch and walk around your office building or workplace.  It can be that easy and it can make a big difference.

I'm personally going to start trying to walk 15 minutes a day in the evening.  It will help me clear my mind and sort of draw my day to an end.  It will give me some activity that may very likely prevent some major health conditions showing up.  Statistics show that if we don't get activity (or exercise) in frequently, we're just setting ourselves up for major medical costs.

So, will you join with me and start doing some activity each day?  Go ahead and leave a comment below and together we can have a great impact on our health.






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, December 19, 2016

Chronic Pain Is More Than Lifestyle Choices

Do you ever have one of those cartoon moments, where steam comes out your ears after reading something?  Well, today was one of those days.

When I read the following quote, it made steam come out of my ears.  No, I'm not going to name the source because far too many people think this way and quite frankly, they are only seeing "part" of the story.


The quote is:

Lifestyle is the cause of chronic illness and lifestyle is the only evidence-based solution for the prevention of, and recovery from, chronic illness.


In addition to the entire premise of this statement being short-sighted and downright wrong from my own experience, when you use the word "ONLY" as the foundation for your statement, you are standing on melting ice in the middle of a lake.  This is one of the things that is wrong with our health care system and why people don't get better.  I know the place that wrote this means well, but there is more to the picture than this "belief" about chronic illness.

Inadequate at best and harmful at worst...

I will not disagree that chronic pain often has lifestyle choices that are not healthy.  However, that is like telling a person with depression, to just be happy or a person who has sleep issues, that they should just go to bed at a set time.  These forms of advice and counseling and help are inadequate at best and harmful at worst.  They don't assist the person and help them.  They only cement the judgment and shame deeper into their consciousness.

In many of the chronic pain and chronic illness, there is something more below the surface.  There is something that set the person up for the situation they are now facing.  Maybe no one can see it.  Maybe no one can even begin to believe it.  Maybe it is something that no one is even thinking about, but it is there.  I've worked with far too many people and seen evidence of what I am saying, to not be able to believe that lifestyle changes along can help every situation.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2014/09/what-is-chronic-pain-interview-with-dr.html

All too often we've seen people look for help that isn't there.  We've seen this person or that product offering the "cure-all" for their condition.  I used to work in research evaluating products for a company before we took the plunge and spent millions to find out if something worked or not.  Of the products that were backed up by science and research and trials with big name companies, approximately 85% of them did not show a statistical improvement for whatever it was that we were testing.

Needless to say, these companies and even colleagues of mine would rip my research to shreds.  Yes, it was meticulously done and yes, myself and other individuals reviewed it before the data was released.

I find the same thing in the health and healing communities.  Some of the "products" out there make my eyes do flip-flops and the claims make me vomit.  Sorry, if you're one that does not want to hear this, but from my experience, it is the truth.

Chronic conditions have deep layers...

Chronic pain and chronic illness is present for a reason.  It has deep layers which I don't think we truly understand today.  However, there is new pioneering work that is being done and can often reverse these conditions or have a significant impact upon them.  Situations and health conditions that we thought were not treatable are now being seen that we can influence them.

Yes, lifestyle choices does make a difference, but if there are underlying situations and stresses below the surface, then you can beg someone to change all day long with little results.  Heck, even the person suffering from Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness can hope something changes, but unless the underlying pressures are released, this will be nothing but a prayer.

A message from our body to our brain...

Pain is there for a reason.  It is a message from our body to our brain trying to get our attention.  Sometimes, maybe most of the time, it is difficult to understand how this could even be true, let alone how we can solve it.  The answers are not from feel good statements, but are through interventions that takes us deep within where we feel our body.  It is not where we escape it.

Here is a good video by good friend Jim Fazio as he interviews Dr. Paul Canali about Chronic Pain.  Dr. Paul Canali is a pioneer in the treatment of trauma, pain, and anxiety and offers a new approach that is highly effective.  This is not belief or theory, but actually applied therapy that has helped thousands of people he has worked on.


I want to push each one of us, whether we suffer from chronic conditions or we are in the healing community try to help people deal with these conditions.  We cannot sit back and expect the tired and old practices that have become our paradigms to continue being ineffective in our healing modalities.  We have to be more and often that starts where we least expect it to begin.

Instead of limiting your healing beliefs to lifestyle changes only, find out what makes the person tick from the inside.  What is it that holds you or them back?

I used to think that Dr Canali had some special gift, but now I'm beginning to see that what he has learned resides in each one of us.  It was not just him that could help others.  Yes, it may take another compassionate and caring individual without judgment to walk through the healing fires with us, but healing comes from within us.  Let us not look at it through simple eyes, missing the deeper moments.

Chronic pain and illness is not easy.  However, there are therapies emerging that can help so much, if we allow ourselves to go check them out.


#ChronicPain




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Sunday, December 18, 2016

Sometimes We Fall Flat On Our Face

It happens to me!  I wish it didn't and I wish I was far enough beyond it sometimes.  However, sometimes I just fall flat on my face.

Yes, I know - that it is what we do with that after we fall flat on our face that matters.  Picking ourselves up and inserting any appropriate cliche' is how we focus.  Yet, when we fall flat, sometimes the bruises hurt.

I won't go into specifics here, but if you want to know more, read the blog post, Triggered By My Cats, from yesterday and it will give you a better idea.  It is one of my all time difficult triggers that actually was the moment where Conversion Disorder fully showed up in me.  It took me years to discover and understand that!

I'm doing better than I was yesterday.  Yesterday, it was overwhelming to me.  Yesterday it engulfed every bit of my being, my brain, my body, and my emotions.  The trigger left me standing there numbed and disconnected, angry and enraged. It blinded me with confusion.  It pushed me to hide far away from anyone and everyone.

How quickly it happened...

I felt flat on my face.  Just as I was making it and gaining ground, it hit me.  It frightens me to think of how fast it struck and how quickly it happened.  It frightens me to know that it lurks around the corner, just waiting to pounce.

I feel helpless when it appears. I feel as if I don't even have a split second to try and contain it or think about it differently.  It is a major trigger.  It slapped me hard.  And yet - I've done so much work on this, but it sneaked up from behind and attacked me.

We pick up the pieces...

Yes, I've healed.  I've come a long ways.  I post this, not out of a desire for sympathy, but to help others see that sometimes we just fall flat on our face.  And that's OK!  Yes, its okay to fall flat on our face.  We just have to pick up the pieces tomorrow and do what we need to do to keep going.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it and put some happy thought or meme in place to say if I think this way or that way, its magically better.  I recognize and realize, that this too is part of my healing, as difficult as it gets at time.  Healing is an ongoing process.

I'm writing this just to let others know that you're not alone when you fall flat on your face.  Yes, it may feel that way.  Yes, you may temporarily forget everything you've learned and lose site of how much you have healed.  That's all normal that this moment.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/12/triggered-by-my-cats.html

However, just look for the rope at the top of the cliff and try to reach out for it, grabbing it one hand hold at a time.  Use it to pull yourself back up.  Most likely there will be someone up there steadying the rope and offering help as you struggle to climb back up the cliff.

Don't lose hope if you've fallen flat on your face because sometimes it is what happens.  It's the point where we hopefully get to heal another piece of our life.  Just don't lose hope!

#Pets

 

 


Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Triggered By My Cats

No... don't ...

No pets... don't you understand?

Don't do that.

Please don't do that!

The scenario that played over and over so many times as a kid.  Rarely did my pets ever get to come inside and if they did, I often had to sneak them in.

Well, sneaking means I sneaked them through the front door, but then since we had absolutely no privacy growing up, it was hard to keep it a secret.

Unfortunately, our pets were not used to being inside.  I don't know why they weren't allowed to stay inside, but they weren't.  It didn't matter if the nights were subzero temperatures.  It didn't matter what, they just had to stay outside.

The monster would be after them...

Most of them weren't used to letting me know they had to go outside to go to the bathroom.  They made a mess from time to time and of course, when they did - the monster would be after them.

I would see their little heads and faces ground down into the carpet into the mess they made.  The monster would show them once and for all never to do this again.  He'd throw a fit.  He'd make them learn.

I would watch in terror, wanting to rescue them but not able to do a thing.  You didn't dare lift a finger or raise a voice to the monster.  He would lay you flat on the ground and beat you until you could no longer feel a thing.  There was nothing you could do to stop the torture. You had to watch it and hear it and silently cry within.

If the monster got real mad...

If the monster got real mad, he'd pick up the cat, open the door and toss it up in the air.  The cat would go sailing in the sky and somehow land and run away.  I would cringe every time I saw this.  My heart would skip a beat.  I would hold my breath in terror.

And if the monster got real real mad, he'd just kill them.  He'd find a way to drown them in a gunny sack in a river or crush them or whatever method he deemed appropriate.  There was no stopping the judge and executioner.  I was powerless to stop him and I still hate myself to this day for that.  Yet, I was a small child.

I still remember doing the dishes as he shut my little kittens in the cellar door.  They had just been born recently.  I loved the grey one and the charcoal color one.  I had started to name them.  One was smokey.  I would sing to him, "On top of old smokey".  Yet, the monster killed them.

I instinctively knew what happened...

I heard the sounds.  I heard their little meows and screams.  The monster went outside pretending he needed something from the cellar.  Then the screams and meows increased.  The door slammed.  The meows stopped.  I instinctively knew what happened.

I started crying trying to wash the dishes.  As the monster stepped back inside, I was told to grow up and not be a cry baby.  I was told that it was a mistake.  I was given a half fake explanation as to what happened backed up by the monster's lover.

No more did little smokey get to play and listen to me sing.  No more did the Charcoal and the little kittens have a chance at a life.  No more were my new little friends to be around me.

So, when my cats did something wrong, I would be frightened that they would be killed too.  The monster was merciless.  He didn't care.  In fact, the more the kittens showed me they loved me, the more likely it was that he would take them away.

Hoped the monster didn't find out...

I cringed when they did something wrong for I had to hide it and hope the monster didn't find out.  Hardly was I ever successful.  I often failed the cats and pets.

As a kid I watched the movie, The Planet Of the Apes.  It scared the daylights out of me.  However, I found myself hoping and dreaming that the cats and dogs of this world would rise up and rule the humans.  I wished and hoped and prayed that they would claw the eyes of the humans out and cause as much pain and harm to them as they did my own pets.

It never happened.  I still live with those sounds.  I still live with those images.  I cannot erase them from my mind.  They haunt me with every breath I take.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2014/07/dear-pets-im-sorry-i-failed.html

Today, I got triggered.  Today, the trigger got the best of me.  It turned into anger and a rage directed at no one, but at everyone.  Today, I failed once again.

I know one thing, if anyone ever tries to harm my pets, they or I will most likely not be alive.  I will not allow anyone to harm them.  They mean more to me than my own life.  Animals rank higher in life than my own self.  They always have.

I can still hear their screams.

I wish I could have protected them.

I wish I would not have failed so many times.


#Triggers





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Friday, December 16, 2016

Loss In Life Is Difficult

We all experience it at one time in our life or another.  Loss in life is difficult no matter how you see it or think about it or believe in it.  It rips your guts out and leaves you splattered on the ground as if you have nothing left within you.

Loss grabs us by the throat and chokes us with unsaid things that we wish would could say.  It keeps us from knowing what to say and how to say it and if there is anything that can be said.

Loss humiliates us because we always think we are strong enough, but in the face of loss we feel inadequate beyond measure.  We feel like there is not enough and we'll never make it through this moment we are in.

When we go through loss, the pain of the moment engulfs us.  It hobbles us as we try to move around and function in our day.  It steals every last ounce of energy we have, leaving us as a limp piece of human flesh on the ground.

Loss makes us question everything.  It stuns us and shocks us and angers us.  It makes us sad.  It makes us want to fight but we feel powerless to determine who the enemy is.  We only know that it takes all sense of humanness from us.

Nothing that will calm the seas...

Loss leaves us wanting to blame someone or others or something that happened.  It wants to find the way to right the ship, even though there is nothing that will calm the seas.

Loss is a part of life as screwed up as that may seem in the moment.  Loss is one of those moments where everything else in life that we thought mattered pales in comparison to what truly does.

It is in those final moments before we encounter a loss in life that we feel like we never had that one last moment, the one last push, or the ability to change what happened.  It was taken before we had a chance to stop it, even if we could not have stopped it.

Loss is the moment where we lose control and we question all that is good and just and bad and honorable.  It is the point where we begin to wonder if control is just a mad and crazy friend who we want to ditch.

It takes time...

Loss can be a new beginning, but it takes time.  Loss can be a step forward, but in the midst of that moment, it hurts more than anything in the world.  It seems helpless and hopeless and endless.  It feels as if there is no tomorrow.

How we get through loss in our life is our own path.  No one can dictate how it should go or how quickly it should unfold.  Often we are lost in a fog of blindness not knowing where the path of comfort and healing leads.

It is up to us to keep going and hold our head high even when the weight of the loss is as heavy as it gets.  It is up to us to keep moving forward, not giving up and not giving into the fears and pain and anger of the moment.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2011/01/in-memory-of-what-my-mom-gave-me.html

If we use the fear and pain and anger of this moment, we will be able to heal from what we have lost.  It may not be easy and it may seem like it takes forever, but these things are what will transform our life into more than we can know.

Loss is part of life.  Life is part of loss.  We must embrace both to live as humans in this world.

#LosingSomone






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Jumping To Conclusions On Diagnosing Others

Whoa there now!  I mean, let's tread carefully here.  It seems there have been reports by many people that people on these new fangled online social media accounts are jumpin too conclusions a little too quickly. 

I know, I know, you've got to get home and beat that laundry on the rock down by the river, but it will wait a second or two.  There's a little extra moonlight tonight so you can see to get back to the old homestead.

I don't know much about this thing in these parts that they call Twitter and Facebook.  Honestly,  I'm not sure why anyone would try and make their face into a book. 

Whatever a twitter is, I'm guessing it has something to do with me after I've drank too much cold morning leftover coffee from the trail.  Back in my day, we just yacked at night around the campfire.  We didn't need these new light box things that you hold between your thumbs.

Well, back to the point before the fire goes down and its time to bed down for the night.

You all might be smart, but diagnosing someone based upon a picture you see on these social media accounts is pretty foolish.  Worse yet, if you read a few characters (words as we call them) and you know what the person needs to do, well, I just don't know.  I mean, you need to sit around the campfire for a bit and chat with each other before drawing conclusions. 

I mean, come on.  There's all kinds of folks on the trail that you meet, but I've never seen someone shout from one end of the wagon train to the other with advice about something they can't see.  Imagine if we steered the wagon train by what the person in the back shouts up to the front.  They can't see the view in front like the one in the first wagon.  People are like that too.  No one can see what the individual is going through in their life.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/05/telling-others-what-to-do.html

Now, ya'll can just go on and jump to conclusions, but sooner or later, it will leave you looking like you fell off the cliff buck naked in a briar patch.  All I can think to say at this point is "whoa, horses"... let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Well, that's all folks.  See you on down the trail and hope the weather holds out until you get to your final destination.

#TellingOthersWhatToDo




Wednesday, December 14, 2016

People Will Know You By What You Say

Those pesky little social media posts.  They are pretty telling about a person.  I'm sure most people would probably cringe at the thought of some of these social media posts and emails being read back in a public spotlight.  Yet, it seems no one stops to think about it at the time they write them.

People will know you by what you say.  They really will.  If you want to get a feel for what someone is like, just take a read down through their social media postings.  It will say plenty.

Imagine if someone that didn't know you was given "opposition research" on you.  All of their social media posts and emails and things they said was printed out in a detailed and fact-oriented paper.  What would it say about you?  How would your words present you to the world?

I think there are many if not most people who would be embarrassed if your minister started quoting you in a church service or maybe in a public school meeting, your words were read out loud.  Maybe, for the guy or girl you were trying to get a date with, someone popped up and shared everything you wrote.

Would your words be helpful?

How about if what you had posted was given to your small child at birth as an instruction manual on how they should treat others.  Would it be helpful to them or if they started imitating your words among other children, how would it look?

I'm not saying you can't be real, but what I am saying is that we often try to make others believe one thing about us, while saying just the opposite in our words.  We hold ourselves up as the voice for all to follow, yet we forget about following our own advice.

People will know you by what you say...

People will know you by what you say, whether it is good or bad.  They will see the real you come out, even if it is a numbed and disconnected display.

To go out and hold yourself up so high and then be so blind as not seeing how much you tear people apart is just not human.  Yes, it takes some self control and that is lacking big time in online social media.  Facebook and Twitter and other places thrive on this part of human behavior.  They have built billion dollar businesses exploiting this in people.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/07/people-are-too-quick-to-criticize.html

The point is, if you're going to say one thing to the world, let your words match it.  Ponder what it is that you say and do because those things show your true colors and intent.  It doesn't matter which side of the spectrum you fall on in life, we all do this to some degree.

Let us build and lift one another up so we can all achieve greater heights.  As we do this, we will advance the world in a much better way than anything else that can be done.  It is up to us to know thyself and determine if our words truly match what we think we say.

#TreatOthers





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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