Announcement


For those who struggle, it is a nightmare.  For those who have had their lives torn apart because a loved one committed suicide, the pain continues.  The questions continue.  Suicide of a loved one often destroys the lives of those left behind.

Please join me for a free online webinar as we discuss a mother's promise to help prevent suicide.

Reserve your place at:
A Mother's Promise To Help After Son's Suicide
Feb 4, 2017 (1pm EST)

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Healing Progress And Then I Slipped Back

A common question I've seen come through applies to many that I've seen go through the healing process.  I'm sharing this tonight in hopes that it will help further the understanding of what the healing process is.  These are questions that we need to keep open in discussion so that we all can learn and grow.

The question that I received recently is about someone that has made considerable progress in healing and then felt like they slipped back.  So here's the question.


I felt like I was headed in the right direction and made progress, but then I slipped back.  Will I ever heal and get past all of the stuff I'm dealing with?  I feel like I went from 100% to 60%.


Here is my answer in regards to healing and Unified Therapy work.

Most of the time when we go through intense healing work, we come out of some of those experiences feeling like we are riding on cloud nine. It could almost be like climbing a mountain.  You got your first great glimpse of all that is out there.  So, in many ways, you're climbing through the mountain range.  It may mean you get to hike for awhile on the ridge and you can see for miles, but at some point to keep going, you head back down into the valley to go up the next mountain range.

Feeling about 60% would seem normal in my mind.  In fact, I doubt you could stay that high up for very long.  The important thing to remember though is that allow the 60% part to be okay.  Do the breath work, movements - the things you all worked on that have helped - and it will pass.

Surrender into it and ask it what it is trying to show you or teach you or help you see.  That might not be real easy at first and believe me, sometimes I resist rather than surrender.  It is part of the process because it teaches us and it helps prepare us for the next stage of growth, awareness, consciousness.  It may not even be identifiable at this moment, but that's okay - just let it be there knowing that the more you surrender into it, the more it will dissipate and pass.

Going through this healing work, we are inviting in an inner consciousness that is always there and giving it life.  It is a step by step process just like learning to walk.  When we've been shut off to it as long as we have, it doesn't wake up completely all at one time.  It comes in stages so that we can handle it.  If we tried to wake up fully all at one time, it would be overwhelming and that gets pretty tough.

There will be good days and days that aren't as easy.  Even with all the work I've done, it doesn't mean my life sails by in a calm fashion - I get the calmness and peace, but I also get the rough choppy waters.  The thing is, I know that even when the waters of life get rough, I can remember that there is a place of calmness and peace within me.  Sometimes it helps me to recall what it felt like on the table.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/01/falling-down-before-you-learn-to-walk.html

I use the Resperate to help me go into deeper breathing.  It took me some time to get accustomed to using it and how to use it.  Now though, in 15 minutes - I can really bring myself down with the breath work and with connecting physically.  I never used to be able to do that on my own.  It's a more recent development.

Its okay to feel like things dropped back.  Sometimes I think we need it. It is like sitting down after a long hike to rest but when you do, your legs feel the tiredness of the hike.  It isn't that there is anything wrong with your legs feeling tired, but they just need time to rest so you can continue the hike.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Numbed Pain

If you're one of those people that deal with chronic pain, this post does not necessarily apply to you.  It is something different that I am talking about here than chronic pain where you hurt day in and day out.

What I am talking about is pain that we numb or what I referred to in the title as Numbed Pain. It is the pain that we avoid and disconnect from.  It is our busy days that keep us from feeling the pain in our body.

Yes, we do numb our pain.  We go through our days of stress and nonstop activity, oblivious to the pain and messages that our body is using to get our attention.  We often don't want to face the pain, so we stuff it down and hide it.

When I was traveling every week, my life was on constant go from one city to the next with very little rest or downtime.  When my head hit the pillow in a hotel room of a strange city, that's when I had the chance to rest.   Crossing one time zone after another and sleeping in one strange place to another, I didn't know what rest was.

In addition, I spent most of my waking hours either on the phone being the main support contact or answering emails or planning the next training session.  There was no downtime.  My body didn't have time to feel all the pains and stresses and issues in the tissues.  I automatically and subconsciously avoided it.  I numbed out to the pain.  I disconnected from it.

Avoided the pain but it impacted my body...

The thing is, even though I was avoiding and numbing the pain, it was still impacting my body.  I just didn't realize it nor could I see it.  It wasn't until after I quit the job and had massive amounts of downtime that I really started to see just how much of a toll it took on my body.

It is human to numb and avoid, but the more we do this, the more we miss critical notices from our body of what is truly happening in the body and the mind.  The more we don't feel what is happening, the more stress and issues we are storing within the cellular components of our body.  These things rob us of precious energy and strength.  These things rob us of peace in our life.

Oblivious to numbed pain...

All too often we are oblivious to numbed pain.  We have been successful at avoiding it and now it is like we are complete strangers speaking two different languages.  All the while, it is impacting us in very real biological ways.

If we continue down this road, it will get our attention at some point.  We may be able to hide from it, evade it and ignore it.  Sooner or later, it will catch up to us and the likes of it will not be pretty.

I'm not speaking from some new age concept here.  I'm speaking from experience because I almost lost my life many years ago from numbing the pain.  I ignored it and didn't deal with the stresses and trauma I had experienced in life.  It showed up as Conversion Disorder after some other events became the catalyst that formed paralysis and a near death experience.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect and have learned my lesson well on avoiding and disconnecting from numbed pain.  However, I have done a tremendous amount of work on myself to free myself from the chains of trauma and stress.  It is through this physical and biological healing work that I've learned how to transform this into a life I never thought possible.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2013/03/eliminating-pain.html

The thing is that any of us can keep avoiding the pain and not feeling it.  The more we do of it, the more chronic it becomes.  The more we continue to avoid it, the more it begins to work harder to get our attention.  If we continue down this path, the brain will do all it can to keep us alive but other physical realities of our bodies and minds may become nothing more than dead weight.

It is up to each one of us how we choose our life and what we allow ourselves to become aware of each day.  If we allow pain to be numbed, we will be sentencing our life to great difficulty.  You may be getting away with it at the moment, but just how much longer before your luck runs out and you pass the point of no return?




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Don't Forget To Breathe

Doesn't this sound silly to hear this?  I mean, don't we all know we need to breathe.  Why on earth would anyone tell you, "don't forget to breathe!"  Unfortunately, far too many hold their breath at times or diminish how much they breathe.

I remember a therapist often telling me when we were in a counseling session, to not forget to breathe.  I was like, but I am breathing.  However, as she kept working with me on this, I could sometimes begin to tell that I was not fully breathing.  I was holding my breath and I was not even aware that I was doing it.

When I'm working with someone in a healing session, I will see the breath being held.  They often will not notice it or be aware of it.  Usually they will think they are breathing as normal, but they are not.

Trauma, stress, and other experiences in life cause us to hold our breath, even if it is for a short period of time.  It is like seeing that startling scene before you and you gasp and stop breathing as it shocks you.  The daily build up of stress does the same thing and so do traumatic experiences from our past.

It is like the body and mind are preparing for your escape and so by conserving breath for just one second, it gives you a burst to take off running as fast as you can.  The body and mind also hold the breath when it is trying to be very quiet so the tiger in the jungle doesn't hear you.  Please note, that the tiger in the jungle is the abuse or trauma you may have gone through.

If we don't hold our breath, we fail to fully breathe.  We breathe shallow or rapid.  We don't breathe in a full breath and our breathing is at the rate where we are preparing to run like mad to get away from the tiger.  Again, it is trauma, stress and other experiences that can continue to cause this long after we are out of those situations.

One of the best things you can do for your own health is practicing deep breathing.  Learning to breathe fully and slowly and connect with it.  It isn't just about breath work, but fully connecting internally in a deep way.

Learning to breathe and remembering to breathe can help alleviate some of the issues in the tissues of the body.  A slow and deep connected breath is very healing for the body as it brings nutrients to the tissues and takes away waste from the cells.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-importance-of-breathing.html

The more stress we've been under or the more trauma we've been through, the more we need to practice deep and slow breathing.  I use the resperate to help me practice and 15 minutes on this in a day, I get up feeling much more peaceful, centered, and an overall sense of feeling better.

Don't go through life forgetting to breathe.  It is too crucial for our body and our mind.  We need it to function at peak efficiency.  The more oxygen we can breathe in, the more healthy our body and our mind is.  The more deeply connected we breathe, the more we can release the stress and trauma that we carry through our days.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, September 26, 2016

Can You Think Yourself Sick?

This is one of my favorite questions that I get asked frequently.  Can you think yourself sick?  Most certainly you can!  However, most of the time, we don't even realize we're thinking ourselves sick, even if we are aware we are able to do this.  Okay, I know this sounds a little convoluted, but let me see if I can explain this better.

I'll start by going back to an example from when I was a kid in high school.   Every week we had P.E. (Physical Education) class.  Now, I hated that more than anything in school.  I wasn't good at team sports and I got laughed at and bullied so much, that every time I knew P.E. was coming, my stomach would be in knots.  In addition, I was being sexually molested and abused at home, so undressing in front of a bunch of classmates was not the feeling of safety I longed for and I wanted to avoid it completely.

Knowing that I could not get away with this every time because someone would catch on to what I was doing, I limited the amount of times I pulled this stunt.  I would go to PE as much as I could and just put up with the name calling and taunts and bullying, but when it got to be too much, I did the unthinkable.

Raising my body temperature...

Shortly before P.E. class, I would start focusing on my thoughts to get my body temperature to elevate.  I did this with my thoughts, just focusing on raising my body temperature.  I would be sitting in a class prior to this and just do it silently.  No one knew it was going on.  By the time I got to P.E., I would tell the teacher that I wasn't feeling good and thought I was running a temperature.  Of course, he would tell me to go see the school nurse.

When I went to the school nurse, she would take my temperature and lo and behold, the thermometer would show I was running a fever.  Deep down inside, I knew I wasn't sick, but I was able to get my body temperature to appear that I was.  The nurse would call my mom and she would leave work to take me home.  My poor mom, I feel sorry for her.  If she ever suspected what I was doing, she never let on.  Of course, I had to continue playing the role of being sick but generally by the time I got up the next morning and my mom took my temperature, it would be normal.

I appeared sick...

See, I managed to make myself appear sick.  It really isn't that hard and in fact many people do this all the time.  I'm sure there is some psychological condition for it, but in my case, I just hated P.E. so much that I would do anything to get out of it.

While I know we can think ourselves sick, we also can make ourselves well.  Now, the trick is though, making sure you are aware of what you are doing.  Most humans go through life being disconnected and unaware.  They do things every day that makes them sick, but are not even aware they are doing it.

We diminish our own health...

Instead of taking care of ourselves in the best way possible, we do things that diminish our health and then all of the sudden we are sick.  We have some condition or situation that we now treat with some form of medicine, but we don't go in and treat the underlying reason that led up to the situation we are in.

While we can think ourselves sick, we can think ourselves healthy.  This means though, that we have to start listening to our body and becoming aware of all that we are, all that we feel, all that we sense, and not numbing or avoiding.  If you don't think you do this, I'd counter that you are probably of an alien species.  It is human nature to not be aware of our body, even if we trick ourselves into thinking that we are.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2014/07/health-care-follies.html

We can do so much with our thoughts, especially if it is followed by action and it comes from our core.  Just mere words will only get you so far, but learning to connect deep within your biological self will yield much more powerful and long lasting changes for your life.

I'm not suggesting that anyone use the stunt I used when I was in high school.  It really isn't good to mess around with your health in that way.  It is far better to be upfront and honest, letting someone know that you just need a day off for yourself or some activity or event is not right for you.  I took the easy way out.






Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Our Thoughts And Energy Impacts Everyone

I know this, but sometimes I forget it.  You know, how our presence impacts the world around us.  It really does, whether we know it or not or whether we see it or not.

The other day I was helping do some therapy work and realized that my presence was connecting with people long before we spoke.  It is like a language that is communicated between myself and others without a word spoken or touch given.  I think I've realized this before now, but it was just brought home in a real way for me.

It is a deep connection though where the other person knows if they can trust you or not or if you're safe or not.  It is a deep connection where they just know that you're there out of compassion and love, when no exchange has happened.  Words can't fool people, because our presence speaks the truth.

I sense these things in other healers and just because someone is a healer, it doesn't mean they have the "right vibe" or "energy level" that makes them safe.  Being safe is one of the much needed requirements for any healing work.  I've been around far too many that act one way in session work, but act totally different to me outside of that.  I've been around far too many that proclaim they have something to offer, but I can see right through them.

We just know...

In many ways, we all interact with one another using these same concepts.  We know without a moment's thought, who is trustworthy and safe, and who is someone that you want to avoid or get away from quickly.  We know and sense far more than we realize.  More often than not, we hide what we know and sense for fear of being laughed at by others.

If you ever watch a cat, dog, horse, or other animal interact with people, you can see that they quickly size up a human.  They know quickly what is going on with that person and they don't even have to be next to the person.  I've seen it in sheep that I had while in high school who would run from some people and follow me just about anywhere I wanted them to go.  Animals know and understand what humans often fail to see.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/04/how-do-you-impact-world.html

If we realize just how much our thoughts and energy, actions and words impacted others - we would think differently about the things we say and our behaviors.  Why not have a positive impact on the world and those around you by being aware of the "vibe" you put out.  You do it regardless, so why not make it a good one and help better the world.

You could be something so good for another person, or just one more difficult moment they have to deal with in their day.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Listen With Respect and Talk Out Of Love

The old saying that you can attract more bees with honey is true.  In these days, we try to see just how much we can talk down to one another, call each other names, and treat others as if they are just nothing more than something that should be obliterated.

All you have to do is take a look at any social media feed about the election.  It isn't just one side either.  I've seen it all which ways.  No one respects the other person.  They just begin the constant barrage of treating others as if they have no clue.

I've seen it from members of my own family as they not only do this currently in political discussions, but also we grew up in this way.  We would pray and sing with others in church on Sunday morning as if we were all one big family of God.  When we walked out the doors and got in the car, it was then that our family talked smack about everyone.

Heck, I still struggle with this today.  I write about it and while I'm projecting this to the world, I feel like I'm writing to myself.  Now, maybe I don't do it as bad as some and I sure don't spread it along on social media, but boy can I falter and put myself up on a pedestal at times.  I'm not perfect either and sometimes I get disgusted by what I see myself saying and doing.

Need to learn to respect one another...

I keep trying and I wish others would do the same.  We need to learn to respect one another.  No one is going to listen to what you say if all you do is bad mouth them and put them down or call them names.  If you just scream, don't expect anyone to listen.

On the other hand, if you can look at someone with respect and love, then your words will flow more to a receptive ear.  If you can share with them what you see and why you see something, more than likely they will listen to you.  It is when we spend the time sharing ideas and beliefs with respect, that we begin to either solidify our positions, or become much smarter as we listen to others.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/07/i-wish-i-had-enough-love.html

Listen out of respect.  Talk with love.  Proclaim what you know with an open heart and mind.  These things will drastically improve the world and as we change the world, so will we change and improve ourselves.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Laughter In Healing

One of the things that we tend to do when we're going through difficult times is we get pretty serious.  After all, if you feel like warmed over cow pie, what would make anyone want to do anything but be serious.  Hey, it is just the way we feel in that moment and that's perfectly fine in my book.

The thing is, we don't have to stay serious.  In fact, if we bring a little laughter into the situation, sometimes it can help lift our mood, elevate our spirits, and give us some added energy for dealing with the situation.

I'm not talking about laughing where you disconnect and numb necessarily, although sometimes that is helpful for the moment.  I'm talking about laughter that gets you to the core and connects to the core of your being.  The laughter that comes from deep within your belly.

See how deep laughter feels....

Laughter can release all kinds of great feel good chemicals into your body.  All you have to do is have a night of deep laughter and see how that feels in you.  It will be like your floating on air and enjoying life.  Laughter can move a lot of tension and stress out of the mind and body.  Laughter can help us see those horrible moments in a new light.  Laughter is often better than any pill you can ever take. 

The one thing I don't do with laughter is use it to make fun of other people.  I respect people and I find the laughter in the small things of the day.  In my view, there is far too much that we claim is comedy and it is anything but that.  Have fun with laughter, but don't do it at the expense of someone else or some group. 

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2010/08/fun-it-does-body-good.html

I know it may be tough to laugh if you're in the middle of the horrible stuff of healing.  There have been times, laughter was anything but what I wanted to do while healing.  However, the times that I could bring out the laughter, the easier it made my life.  After all, fun: it does a body good.  If you don't believe me, try it and see what it does for you.


Go ahead - laugh... 

Find a way to laugh today....





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, September 19, 2016

Allow The Healing Process To Unfold

Some days the simplest thing you can do is just be and observe.  Sometimes doing nothing, but observing whatever situation you may find yourself in, becomes the most powerful thing that you can accomplish in that day.

Often we want our problems solved in an instant.  We want to be healed from pain or trauma or a past that haunts us.  We want it to be done now.

Yes, we may be tired of fighting the good fight.  We may be tired of carrying on when life seems to difficult to endure.  We may be down on our strength and energy and resolve, but this is the time to stop and observe and just be in this moment.

Answers are there for our lives...

Answers are there for our lives.  Healing is waiting and often times happening when we don't even see it.  It isn't a matter of when will it take place or when will the answer appear.  It is a moment of observing and seeing what is right before our eyes.

It is part of being human to demand answers now and expect our lives to be healed.  It is part of having to endure much more than any human should ever have to face. It is part of a process that connects to something bigger, even if that is so hard to comprehend or even believe is possible.

We have made it this far...

We need to keep in mind that no matter how tough our days get, we have made it this far.  We have overcome so much up until this point.  Let us focus on these thoughts as our mind and body reach out to us with answers that will not only sustain us, but keep us moving forward.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/09/learning-to-let-go-in-healing-process.html


Healing and difficult times are a process that unfolds as we are ready and allow into our life.  Sometimes when we think we are ready and when we truly are ready, don't show up at the same time.  It is a process.  Allow it to unfold.  Allow it to become all that it is and just be in that moment with all that you are at this time in your life.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Friday, September 16, 2016

Connect To The Subconscious Mind

This is something that crosses all paths in life.  It is not just one concept, but a foundational concept on which it can be used and applied in many different ways.  Connecting to the subconscious mind is something that the body and the mind can be trained to do.

In the early days of healing when you have a great amount of stress and past experiences or trauma built up, connecting with the subconscious mind may not be easy.  It may very likely a big challenge to do this.  After being put under great duress for long periods of time, the mind and body don't trust anything you would do to upset the delicate balance these struggles have created.

Be patient with yourself if you are attempting to do this for the first time.  It may take some time of working with it and it may take someone that is trained in this area to help. If you've been running from the tiger in the jungle, it isn't going to be easy to convince yourself that you are no longer running.  This is at the heart of connecting to the subconscious mind.

Connecting to the subconscious mind is allowing yourself a safe place without distraction to just stop.  Stopping from the hustle of your day and allowing yourself to go in and feel.  Allowing yourself to go in and sense.  Allowing yourself to just be in that moment with nothing else that matters.

While you  may think that this is meditation, it is similar but different.  Meditation helps you to turn off your mind and just be in the moment.  However, what I am discussing is that when you do this, you do it through your senses.

What do I mean, do it through your senses?

As you begin to just stop and be in the moment, ponder or ask yourself,
  • What do I notice in my body?  
  • What do I sense?  
  • What do I feel?"  

You are focusing on what you sense and feel, but you're not trying to make sense of it.  You're just observing it.  You are noticing it.  You are inviting it in and asking what is there.

Senses can be anywhere from what you feel in your skin, muscles, or tissues to noticing a smell or a feeling of warmth or coldness.  It can be noticing how much your breath is holding back or how shallow it may to even how deep it is.  Anything you can sense is valid here.  There is no right and no wrong observations.

Observe and Stay with your senses...

The more you observe the sensations, the more they may intensify.  This may be the point where you need a safe person trained in these concepts to help be there with you, holding the space and safety for you to explore these new things.

The more you can stay with these sensations and just observe them, the more they have the potential to physically change in that moment.  Allowing and surrendering to these things, gives you the power to connect and reclaim the parts that have become disconnected.  As you do this, you reclaim the energy that is stored up in these areas which is robbing you of much needed daily strength and a deep sense of peace.

Use breath, sound, movement

Often, it helps to use your breath to work through these moments, along with sounds and movements.  These aren't wild movements or sounds or breaths, but connected where it is like you are using them to observe that which you are feeling.  I always look at it as if I am using a magnifying glass to observe and the way I do this is through connected movement, sounds, and breathing.

The process is more involved then the simplistic way I am describing it.  I'm just trying to lay the foundation to more fully understand that there is a way to connect with your subconscious mind.  The more you do it, the more you reclaim the disconnected parts of your life.

Not just a mental exercise...


This is not just a mental exercise.  It is an exercise that is very body oriented where you connected with the subconscious mind.  It is very physical, but not in the sense that we normally understand.  It is physical because you are using your senses and observation to connect with something much deeper and greater within your mind and body.

You are not trying to put the reason you think these sensations show up.  Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you pain in one area it means x,y,z because you will limit this experience.  You will be connected to your thoughts rather to the felt sense within you.  It will not get you to the point you need to go in order to connect with the subconscious. There may be a story that evolves from this experience, but it is not the focus of what you are trying to do.  You're trying to step out of your logical mind and feel and sense.

A very powerful healing concept...

The power of this concept once you learn and understand it is beyond comprehension.  I've seen very physical issues in my own body change and heal right before my eyes.  I have seen this happen in other people in some very real ways that would almost be too hard to believe if you had not seen them.

The subconscious mind is a powerful force that tries to keep us operating in life even when we throw so much stress and trauma at it.  However, if we avoid and disconnect from it and numb our self to it, we make it that much harder to connect to it.  By avoidance and disconnection, we sentence our life to struggles that work hard to take us under.  The more you avoid something, the stronger that reaction becomes in your mind and body.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/09/subconscious-disconnected-by-numbing.html

I'm not sharing pie-in-the-sky concepts.  These are truths that I have discovered through the work of Dr. Paul Canali and Unified Therapy.  I have seen how these things have impacted me in some very powerful and life-changing ways.

If we all can begin to understand just how much we avoid and numb and disconnect in our day, we have the possibility to make a different choice of what we do.  It is through the felt sense and stopping to notice and observe that we offer ourselves the greatest healing power.  This is not new age mumbo jumbo.  This is real healing work that makes a difference.


Further Reading:

  1. When A Subconscious Mind Is Exposed (Sep 13, 2016)
  2. Subconscious Mind Impacted By Past Experiences (Sep 14, 2016)
  3. Subconscious Disconnected By Numbing (Sep 15, 2016)
  4. Connect To The Subconscious Mind (Sep 16, 2016)





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Thursday, September 15, 2016

Subconscious Disconnected By Numbing

Connecting is not as difficult as it sounds, but in many ways it is difficult.  In fact, most of our lives, we have been living a disconnected life and our subconscious mind is now a foreigner within us.

Yes, there are certain activities that help take us out of being disconnected, but often we have not passed the threshold we need to obtain and so even with these activities, we stay disconnected.  The fullness of our life is hidden and silent.  We get to the point that our subconscious mind is anything but something we are connected to in our life.

I say it is difficult to connect because we all have lived a life of numbing and avoidance.  Many of the experiences we had early on in life were more than our young minds could handle and so numbing and avoidance became the norm.  Even the daily build up of stress acts in much the same way as traumatic events upon the body.  Traumatic scenes and images we view can also bring on the numbing and avoidance.

Numbing and Avoiding...

When we numb and avoid, we are not feeling.  We are not connected to our body or our mind.  We are not present in life to the degree we may think we are.  In fact, most of the time when you are numbing and avoiding, you're not even aware that you are doing it.  If someone tried to convince you otherwise, you would have great difficulty comprehending what they were saying and questioning strongly how it applies to you and your life.

Numbing and avoiding can be in so many ways.  It can be as simple as using food and alcohol or as complex as using drugs and sex.  Numbing and avoidance can show up through religious practices, constantly buying stuff you don't need, living in fantasy more than in reality or just keeping yourself constantly busy.  There are many ways of numbing and these are just a few, but if you want to read a more exhaustive list that I've put together, check this page out, The Ways We Numb The Body.

We are not feeling everything...

When we are numb, we aren't feeling the full breadth of our physical body.  We may not be and most likely are not aware that we are not feeling everything.  If you are trying to get 100 tasks completed by the end of the day that the boss is demanding you finish, do you think that you would feel all the pains in your body or how the stress is impacting you?  More likely than not, you would not feel these things.  They would get in the way of you performing the tasks you need to complete.  You would be numb to the subconscious mind.

Sometimes we need to numb our body to handle the current moments, but it is when we don't shut off the numbing in our subconscious mind that it becomes a problem  Temporary numbing is one thing, but long term causes great damage to our mind and body.  The more we numb, the more long term damage we do and the harder it is to recover.
 
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/09/subconsious-mind-impacted-by-past.html

If we can just begin to understand how much we numb and avoid the hard parts of our life, we will be on the uphill climb to a much greater awareness filled with peace beyond comprehension.  Numbing and avoidance take us away from the subconscious mind where we are empowered and filled with all that we need to take on the challenges of our lives.

We must first begin to understand that numbness and avoidance are two of our greatest enemies in our life.  For the more we choose to not see how we numb and avoid, the more we are robbing ourselves of all the potential for our life.  Numbing and avoidance are negative pleasures.  They help us disconnect, but at the same time, they rob us of our energy and essence of life.  Numbing and avoidance keep us from the deep peace within our lives.


Further Reading:

  1. When A Subconscious Mind Is Exposed (Sep 13, 2016)
  2. Subconscious Mind Impacted By Past Experiences (Sep 14, 2016)
  3. Subconscious Disconnected By Numbing (Sep 15, 2016)
  4. Connect To The Subconscious Mind (Sep 16, 2016)


Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Subconsious Mind Impacted by Past Experiences

We never know enough about who we are or what all we can be.  We all have had experiences throughout our life that has challenged us to the core.  Some of us have encountered areas where we have struggled to stand up against the challenges of life.

All of these experiences are recorded in different ways in our subconscious mind.  It is like information being put into the computer and even though we may not be aware of it, the subconscious mind is recalling the facts.

We go through our days oblivious to the impact of these past experiences on our subconscious.  Indirectly they impact our physical body and mind to the point where we experience illness, disease, pain, and mental struggles.  While we stay oblivious to the impact, they work hard behind the scenes controlling and manipulating our lives to help us make sense of our days.

We learn how to avoid and disconnect...

As time passes, we learn how to avoid and disconnect from the revelations of our subconscious mind.  We disregard the messages given to us and we ignore the physical symptoms that arise until it is too late.  By the time we begin to notice them, they have already been conspiring against us and striving to get our attention.

In all reality, it is not that subconscious mind is our enemy, but when we fail to listen to it or connect with it, we make it the enemy.  We stand opposed to the very nature of what it is hoping to get us to hear and understand.

We become masters at numbing...

We become masters at avoidance and numbing in our life.  We get so good at it that we do not have a clue we are doing it.  We just do it as if we are on automatic pilot.  If someone points it out, we would think they are speaking a foreign language we don't understand.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/09/what-happens-in-subsconscious-mind-is.html

How could we understand?  It is the subconscious mind that does not show up unless we allow it to show up.  Without connecting to it, the subconscious mind stays hidden.  It is not accessible through the logical mind.

In order to recognize and connect with the subconscious mind, we must first turn off the logical mind and go internally into our senses.  It is through the senses that we become connected to something far greater than our logical mind understands.


Further Reading:

  1. When A Subconscious Mind Is Exposed (Sep 13, 2016)
  2. Subconscious Mind Impacted By Past Experiences (Sep 14, 2016)
  3. Subconscious Disconnected By Numbing (Sep 15, 2016)
  4. Connect To The Subconscious Mind (Sep 16, 2016)



Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

When A Subconscious Mind Is Exposed

A subject we don't talk about enough but it sure impacts every waking moment of our day.  Today, I'm exposing what happens in a subconscious mind.   Please know, that this is not a scientific and fact based discussion, but one that comes from my own learning and experience in this area.

Neuroscience these days is doing wonderful work in research as they study the brain from all aspects.  It is a subject that I share a strong interest in and find very fascinating.  What happens in a subconscious mind is anything but boring to me.

We don't talk enough about the subconscious mind either.  We go through our day with our busy moments and list of things to do, but we fail to see the impact of our subconscious mind upon every waking moment we live.  It's there, whether you see it or not, feel it or not, or even want to acknowledge it.

Subconscious and Awareness...

The subconscious mind is one that stores data and input from many different experiences and moments of life.  It is the part that automatically knows what to do given any situation that arises.  It is the rapid response team.  It is the way you respond to situations that match up to your conscious mind and awareness.  It is responsible for the basic functions in life, including habits.

The subconscious mind controls or helps your reactions when it comes to emotions, feelings, actions, thoughts and words.  It knows where you feel comfortable in your responses and works to keep all of that in line.

You can also think of this part of your mind as anything that is not in your conscious thought.  Conscious thought may be a problem you are working on, while the concussions mind would be gathering data to help you solve that problem.  The conscious mind would help you in dealing with a client while the unconscious mind would be pulling in many scenarios from your life where you did something similar while doing a compare and contrast to help you in dealing with that client.

Your conscious mind does not think of your body temperature every second, but your subconscious mind knows that it needs to maintain a balance and so will activate other body systems to make sure this happens.  If you focus on your breathing, your conscious mind will know that it is breathing, but every minute of the day, your subconscious mind keeps your breathing operating at the rate which is needed to maintain life and functions.

Conscious and Unconscious Mind...

Our conscious mind and unconscious mind play critical roles in not only our survival but how we function each day.  It is in understanding more about these parts that we can better live our life to the fullest.  Failing to learn and comprehend more about our subconscious mind is only going to hold us back.

The more we can begin to understand all that is going on behind the scenes, gives us power to move through our days.  The more we understand and expose what is hidden deep within, the more we will consciously become aware so as to make better choices in our life.  Without knowing what is impacting us, it is like taking a shot in the dark.  You may hit something, but it might not be what you want to hit.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/08/allow-process-to-unfold.html

Exposing the subconscious mind allows us to let go of the baggage we have carried from all the experiences of our life.  We may not even be aware that we are carrying them, but they become like familiar weights we drag along each day.  Only when we expose these things can we decide if they are still needed or we can choose to let them go.

It is all part of our path and journey in life where we learn more about who we are than we knew the day before.  It is about getting to know our innermost thoughts, so that we become the empowered beings that we are meant to be.  Exposing the subconscious is truly growth.


Further Reading:

  1. When A Subconscious Mind Is Exposed (Sep 13, 2016)
  2. Subconscious Mind Impacted By Past Experiences (Sep 14, 2016)
  3. Subconscious Disconnected By Numbing (Sep 15, 2016)
  4. Connect To The Subconscious Mind (Sep 16, 2016)




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Monday, September 12, 2016

The Destruction Of TV Programming

Yesterday while waiting on some work to be done on my car, I was in the waiting area of the shop.  The TV was playing all kinds of programs that I would not normally see.  It was playing loudly which to me was annoying enough.

It is important to note that we don't have cable in our house as we quit that a few years ago.  I was tired of paying a lot of money each month for something that offered little value in return.  I've never watched TV in the morning hours anyway.

As this morning program played, it was obvious that the people on there were talking a mile a minute.  I don't think they were hardly breathing or attempting to stop to breathe.  The incessant chatter was annoying.  It was a vibration that anything but one being connected and at peace with themselves.

Throughout the programming, there were at least a dozen political ads, if not more.  I lost count trying to keep up with them.  Most of the political ads were blaming the other person for something they claimed they were doing right.  It was ridiculousness at its best.  I know, negative ads work in elections, but to me, I try to avoid them.

Back to the point of this post before I get sidetracked too far.  If I listened to the TV stuff every day and watched this programming, I'd be like a cat with claws out going down a chalk board.  I don't see the value to this.  I don't even see it being entertainment.  It is anything but that in my mind.

Apparently, many people must watch it or I would guess it would not be on the air.  People must be moved by these political ads, or they would not do them year after year.  People may complain about all of this, but they are watching.

All of this comes at a cost.  It comes at a personal price for every human that consumes this stuff.  You can't expect your body to be at peace and connected when all you fill it with is things like this that are the opposite of peace and being connected.  Sorry, if you like this programming, but it does not do a body good!

I was doing all I could to get away from the TV noise because it was becoming a very agitating experience.  I'm not against entertainment, but I think we as a society need to at least engage a few brain cells.  If we just consume all that is fed to us, how is that thinking for ourselves or being real and at peace.

How can we expect peace from the world and engage in these behaviors and practices?  When we canceled our cable, it was one of the best things that we did.  Yes, we still watch some things on Netflix, but I don't miss the news.  Ok, I use news in the silliest of terms because there is no news that is truly information.  It is all a bunch of bias and screaming one view or another.  All of it!

Sometimes I think I'm missing out by not being consumed by all this programming, but days like today show me clearly that I'm not missing a thing.  I can still find out enough of what is going on without it taking over my day.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/03/little-good-news-or-some-toxic.html

In my view, we should all do things that help build each other up, including our own self.  We should do things that bring about peace and stability, not pit one person or group against the other.  Social media often destroys more than it builds up, but with programming on TV that has become such a standard part of our life, we don't even notice this most days.

It is up to each one of us how we participate in life and whether we build up the world together or we join with others tearing it apart.  No one can dictate that to you, but as you become more connected to your mind and body, the more you will no longer have a desire for what we think is essential for making it through our day.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Friday, September 9, 2016

We Fail To Look At Our Own Faults

Attention all humans, this blog post may make all of us a little uncomfortable.  In my view, that's okay because sometimes we need to be challenged a little bit.  We need to be pushed out of our comfort zone.  I promise though, I'll do it with love and ease and compassion.

One of the things I grew up with was living in a house where we criticized others.  Other people weren't good enough.  They didn't do things right.  They weren't righteous enough.  They weren't smart enough or nice enough.  They just didn't measure up.

In fact, even within the house, there was always someone in the doghouse because they weren't good enough or didn't follow directions and commands as dictated by my father and God almighty.  If you didn't measure up, you were shunned, pushed aside and ridiculed.

Today in our society, I see far too often where we point the fingers at other people, but we hold ourselves up as we are better than others.  Whether it is politics or religion or in our little society clicks, we tend to do this.  We see the stick in our brother's eye but we don't see the log in our own eye.

We go on social media or we join in causes pointing out just how bad the "others" are in our society.  We proclaim how unenlightened and stupid they are.  We proclaim how they are like sheep.  We create conspiracy theories to prove our points.  We have our facts as we know them to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are right and others are wrong.

Yet, we don't stop and look at ourselves.  I'm not talking about other people who don't stop and look at themselves.  I'm talking about each one of us, myself included.  We find their faults, but we see our life as perfect.  We find their faults, but we fail to even begin to understand the work we need to do on ourselves.

It is epidemic and it increases more with each day that goes by.  It is sad because when we point the finger of blame and accusation while holding ourselves up on a pedestal, it is then that we have lost site of what it means to be human.  We have lost the love that we proclaim we have.  We have lost the compassion and respect for others which we think we have.

It isn't up to any leader, political or religious or others, to change this.  This change has to start within us, even if we think it should start in others.  This change has to begin in our life.  It needs to be from the core and depth of our being, not just from the words we speak but with action.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/06/its-easy-to-point-your-finger.html

If we want this world to prosper for all and to continue, we must begin changing ourselves.  Our change must not be dependent upon what others tell us to think or what they do.  In order to grow as an individual, it becomes a necessity to change ourselves.

We can and we do impact and influence this world.  Unfortunately in these times, it seems like more negativity is being spewed on social media and in our casual acquaintances than ever before.  Surely we can do better than this.  Surely we can be more than we are.  Before we all run off the cliff hanging on to our own beliefs, may we wake up and heed the warning lights.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Thursday, September 8, 2016

Thrown Into the Fire

Sometimes when you're in the middle of something that is difficult, it isn't easy to see any way forward.  It is not easy to understand that it might be the most helpful thing for you.  In fact, sometimes it is just too much too bear, that the last thing you want to think about is how helpful it may be.

In the past several months, I've had extremely difficult moments to deal with in life.  It isn't the first time this has happened and most likely won't be the last.  I was thrown into the fire like no other time I have easily seen.

If you would have told me that what I was going through was good, I would have most likely slapped ya up-side the head.  I would not have believed you.  I would not have listened to you at that moment.

It just kept howling at me...

Yet, as I think back and see all the stuff that was piling on, I'm beginning to see just why it did what it did.  One event would have been an annoyance, but event after event after experience piled on like snow drifting in a snowstorm.  It didn't stop!  It just kept howling at me at every turn.

At one point, I was ready to give up.  In fact, after one experience, I cried so hard that I could barely stop.  The pain hurt deeply.  The wound that was inflicted cut all the way through me.  I took off for the mountains to get away and find a break from it all.

I had felt so abandoned and alone, hurt and abused, and wondering where in the heck my life was going.  The mountains and the trees were my only refuge at that point.  I took off, wondering if I would even want to come back.  I took off, not caring if I really stayed alive another day.  The pain was so great, I could barely handle it.  I was thrown into the fire.

I could barely function...

As the fire raged on in my life, there was one thing after another.  It didn't stop and there were physical issues that showed up from being so exhausted where I could barely function in a day, to having to deal with a horrible rash in one of the worst places it could end up.

It felt like my life was falling apart.  It felt like there was no tomorrow. I could not get a handle on anything.  I could not get a break.  It just kept going, one experience and event after another.  I tried to hang on, but even that was exhausting.

I finally started thinking - OK - life, just have your way.  I can't control this anyway, so you might as well do whatever it is you're going to do.  I started working on surrendering to the horrible part of being thrown into the fire, even though that was far more difficult than it is to write these words.

I had no clue how to proceed...

I tried to focus as I was being thrown into the fire, but that was more difficult than breathing.  My mind was anywhere but on how to proceed.  I had no clue how to proceed or deal with any of this that was happening.

As the days went, I began to piece things together.  I began to see things a little more clearly each day.  No, it was not like everything came into view all at once.  If I sat here and said that I see the whole picture at this moment, I would be lying.  Each day, a little more shows up.  Each day I see just a little more.

The one thing that I notice is my life is changing.  I'm beginning to drop some of the long held anger in my life.  Granted, from being abused and tortured, I have a right to be as angry as I am.  It is hard to let go of that anger.  It is more than just thinking I am letting go or saying the words "I am letting go".  Maybe that works for some, but this is the cellular level of consciousness that I'm working through.

It was burning up the stuff deep inside...

The fire is all the events that were happening.  The one event after another that was consuming me.  While I thought it was consuming me (the person), I realize now that it was burning up so much of this stuff deep within me that I struggled to release and get rid of in my life.

If you burn wet and soft wood in a fireplace, the soot will build up.  If it builds up, the chimney needs to be cleaned.  You can do this a number of ways, but if you light a hot fire or a brief one in the chimney, it goes a long ways to cleaning the soot out.  (This is merely an example, not something you should try at home).

Sometimes in our life, the only way to get rid of the soot in the chimney is to burn it out.  When we are in the fire, it is then that we are attempting to get rid of that which is not helping us.  We may not see it in the moment.  It may feel like an overwhelming experience that you cannot even begin to understand this point I'm writing about.  Hey, that's okay.  I understand because I have walked through these hot stones.

The more I began to find peace...

The more I allowed the stuff that had caused me great pain to be consumed by the fire I was in, the more I began to find peace.  If I tried to hold on to the pain of those moments, I continued to stoke the fire.  No, it was not easy.  It was much more difficult than I'm writing.

I had to be patient with myself and let go of all that stuff that happened.  It was a collection of many experiences and triggers in life from years gone by, showing up as every day moments.  These were traces of things that I had worked on, but by them coming at me all at once, it ignited the fire in the furnace so much, that it ended up consuming them.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/06/helpless-and-weary-from-despair-part-1.html


Now they are nothing more than ashes in my life that I can sweep out and make room for things that are much better and more beneficial for me.  I'm sure, there are other things that I will find as I go deeper into my own consciousness, but I know that the fire helped me.  It helped me let go of things that I've struggled with every day.

Life isn't perfect, but I can see some of those issues drastically better than they were.  I can feel like I'm more in control of them than I was and that helps boost my peace and self confidence to take on bigger tasks ahead.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Hiding The Punishment Board

When we were kids, we had this beds that had oak slats in them.  Sometimes we would jump up and down on the springs and of course, every now and then the oak slat would break.  Generally when that happened, my dad would scream and get angry.  But hey, that was nothing new.

Of course, he then figured out that the board made a nice punishment tool. In fact it was more effective than the belt he would normally use.  It didn't give in flexibility like a belt and it inflicted more pain upon us kids.

I used to hate the thing almost as much as I hated my father.  He didn't just punish us, he beat us.  Often it was for some small thing that just set him off wrong.  It didn't take much to find yourself on the wrong end of his anger.

The board was too convenient

Throughout the years, my brothers and I dealt with that stupid board.  I tried hard to be as perfect as I could be for we were not only taught that Jesus wanted you to be perfect, but any little infraction would bring punishment with great pain by my dad.  The board was just too convenient for him to use on us.

Since we moved around a lot, it was not uncommon to forget something.  Most of the homes we lived in were rentals and there was always left over junk from before we got there and long after we left.

In addition, my dad loved to collect lumber.  If he went by a railroad car with old lumber in it, he would go to great lengths to ask the right person if he could have it.  Then, we would go and pull all of this lumber out and drag it home.  Next, my brothers and I would have to pull each and every bent nail out of the boards.  We spent hours doing this every day when we got home from school.  Of course, my father never helped except to chastise us if we broke a nail off in the board or we weren't doing it fast enough or correct enough.  I hated this lumber.  I loathed him collecting it and most of the time it never got used for anything.

I was so tired of being beat with that board...

On one such move, I got smart and didn't tell my brothers or anyone the plan I had in my mind.  I was so tired of being beat with that board, that I decided to hide it.  The big stack of wood that he had collected was not going to go with us to our new home.  It was too far of a drive and not enough space in the moving truck for it, so my father donated it to some friend in church.

Without anyone looking, I quickly took the board and ran to the wood pile and hid it so it wouldn't be found.  I made sure no one saw me and if anyone walked around the lumber, it would not be seen.  It was just before we were ready to get in the moving truck and leave.

Where did the punishment board go?

When we got to the new place, my dad was perplexed at where this board had gone.  He surmised it must have been misplaced in the move or left behind, but he didn't know where it had gone.  Finally, little bit of a reprieve, but not by much because he still had his belt and his hand and his tools to punish us with.  He could still kick us too.

It was not until years later that I told the family what I had done with it.  They didn't suspect it out of me because I was always the one that tried to behave and do the right thing.  When I told them, I knew I was safe and while everyone laughed, I am sure my father probably wanted to beat the daylights out of me at that point.  I won that battle.  It was about the only battle with him I won.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2015/11/spank-those-kids.html

I'll never forget that oak slat board he used for punishment.  I so badly wanted to use it on him and believe me, if I still had it, I probably would.  The pain we endured from those years has never left me.  It remains a constant reminder to me.

I'm just glad I was smart enough to go and hide the thing and not tell a soul.  I doubt I could have trusted anyone in the family to keep the secret which would have been a horror for me.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Learning To Let Go In The Healing Process

Healing is about learning to let go and every time we go into the process, the body and mind (all the old fear patterns and tapes that play) don't want to give up control.  It is the old self - the ego part of us that says - no way - I'm going to stay in control.

These toxic parts and old tapes desire for us to keep everything in place, even if it is the most toxic thing for our lives.  These parts have a strong desire to survive even though they may be hurting us at the same time.  Deep healing takes us into those moments and it can become a tug-of-war.  The trick is allowing it to happen in the way that it is unfolding. 

I know I fought it in the beginning and wanted everything fixed now.  I was frustrated at times that everything wasn't magically better.  However, just like then, I'm still learning what it truly means to surrender into the moment I am at in my life.  It is such a part of being human and living the human experience.  What healing is trying to do is take us beyond our current moment and when we go beyond that, it begins to change internal things from the inside out.

Sometimes those changes take time...

Sometimes those changes happen overnight.  Sometimes those changes take time.  It is a process...  and the process will continue to unfold as far as we allow it.  I go through this too just like many others do.  Its not easy to walk into the darkness of the unknown.

One therapist repeated to me many times, the following thought which I found very useful.  I know that sounds simplistic, but it is the essence of what all this is about.
When we step into the darkness of the unknown, one of two things will happen.  We will either be given wings and taught to fly or we will have something solid to stand on. 


The fears are powerful.  There is no denying that.  I remember one healer talking about "negative pleasures".  Even if something is negative or harmful in our life, there is often a part that we are too afraid to give up.  We want to hold on to it because that is all we know to do.   It was our method of survival when the trauma was taking place.  To give it up and find the peace and healing is part of the lesson.  It is the part that helps us find out what we need to learn.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2015/12/surrender-into-healing.html

I still remember one time that I was struggling with a rash that would not go away.  Dr. Canali looked at me and said, "are you ready to let go?"  At first, I thought I was, but as I started to get angry and upset, I realized in the session that I was not ready to let go of it.  I feared that if I let go, I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't make it.  I wouldn't know what was beyond that which I was experiencing.  It was all that I knew and as if someone was asking me to cut off my leg or arm.  It was a struggle to understand that.

Healing is about learning to let go but it is a process.  It is a process that has to unfold and the more we stand in the way of it, the more we hold it back.  It is not a race to the finish line, but an awareness of all that we are.  Through that awareness and consciousness, we heal and become more than we are today.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
  • Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
  • You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  


Monday, September 5, 2016

How I Conquered Pain and Despair

Throughout my healing journey, I've faced moments where I thought it was over.  I've had to deal with not having enough strength, courage, hope or desire to make it another day or even another second. There have been more times than I can remember where I didn't have the strength to go on, let alone grab the hand that was reaching out to me.

When I went through Conversion Disorder, there was one day they were bringing me back to life.  My body and mind had decided to give up and it took modern medicine to bring me back into this world.  I didn't want to live.  I was tired of the fight.  I was tired of trying to stay strong enough for another moment so I could even begin to find my way out of hell.

For a long time, I didn't know the way out.  I didn't think there was a way out.  For a long time, every breath I took seemed hopeless.  It felt as if nothing was ever going to change.

For a long time, I couldn't even begin to see the hands that were reaching out or the hugs of support that were coming my way.  I complained and bemoaned that I was all alone and in fact I was.  I had made myself all alone in a world that was more frightening to me than I understood.

For a time, I lashed out at everyone and anyone and all things that were good for me.  I needed the safety and security of what I deemed normal in life.  Anything that didn't fit into the mode of what I thought life and existence was, ended up being thrown in my daily trash bin of life's useless stuff.

No one thought I would walk again.  I didn't think my memory would ever come back.  No one thought I would function normally another day in my life and return to the job that was fortunately still waiting for me.  I didn't think my anxiety would ever subside enough to walk in the store or drive down the road or walk outside my door.

No one thought I would make it...

No one thought I would make it.  I didn't think the depression and pain would ever lift enough for me to find one good moment in life.  Everyone seemed to have all the feel good things that they knew could help.  I didn't think that there was any hope of happiness in my days for happiness was not a friend to me.

I fought and I struggled.  I shunned many people who I could not deal with and I sunk deeper into my little cave.  I hid from the world.  I hid from my family.  I cried day and night while hugging my cat.  My cat was the only thing I loved.  I didn't even love myself.

I wasn't supposed to come out of Conversion Disorder and function normally in life.  However, I wasn't about to let them win.  I wasn't about to remain an incapacitated shell of a human being.

I could have just gave up...

I could have stayed where I was.  There were no answers, but plenty of questions.  I could have just gave up, but somehow - there was something that kept me going.  My anger propelled me further and my stubbornness became my best friend.  My willingness to never accept the condition I was in was the motivation to taking a step and coming back from dead.

There is time to be angry and hateful and distant.  There is a time for us to almost give up and feel like there is no hope.  There is a time for us to wallow in our misery and despair, thinking that there is no way forward.  There is a time for all of this.  No one can tell you when that time has passed.

However, I know through first hand experience, there is no better way to conquer, then by picking up the pieces and trying to figure out how to put them together.  There is not better way to conquer then to get up from the night of despair and look at another sunrise.

I know deep down that the desire within me to walk again, breathe again and live again was all I had.  It is what helped me to search for answers and discard those stubborn beliefs that had failed me in life.

The desire to heal...

The desire to heal and to thrive and become all that I am today was not by believing there were no options, but by finding out that I had not discovered the options yet.  It was not about what I knew in the moment, but that I allowed myself to search and discover and find out what I did not know.

Days are not always sunny and bright.  There are dark moments of healing and discovery and wallowing and self pity.  The trick isn't how to avoid them, but learning how to walk through them harnessing the skills and knowledge that will help you walk down the healing road.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/04/hope-and-possibility-through-trauma.html

These are the things that will help you prevail in your days ahead so that the despair will no longer rule your life as it once did.  These are the things that you pick up which help you learn and discover and find out much more of life than you ever knew exists.

The most important thing I found through my entire healing journey is that I could not hold on to that which I thought I knew because if I did, I would not discover that which I did not know.  It was in the discovery that I began to find out what my life was and who I truly was.




Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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