Announcement


For those who struggle, it is a nightmare.  For those who have had their lives torn apart because a loved one committed suicide, the pain continues.  The questions continue.  Suicide of a loved one often destroys the lives of those left behind.

Please join me for a free online webinar as we discuss a mother's promise to help prevent suicide.

Reserve your place at:
A Mother's Promise To Help After Son's Suicide
Feb 4, 2017 (1pm EST)

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Immature View Of Massage

Why am I not surprised?  I mean, this happens all the time and this particular example isn't an exception to the norm it seems.  The immature view of massage is displayed all too often by all too many people.  I'm not sure if people that do this are just immature or ignorant or a combination of the two.

Immature views of massage hurt the massage profession.  In fact in Florida, we now have to get a background check and finger prints just to do massage.  While I realize that is to help stop human and sex trafficking, these attitudes displayed in this picture above and the comments on the post for it, don't help.

Imagine if I asked you what your job profession was and then I began to make sick jokes about it.  Let's say that if you are in business, I automatically assume you're a thief and you steal money from people because some have done that.  Or let's say that you're a teacher and I automatically assume that you try to have relationships with your kids.  How absurd would that be.  Let's say you're a food service industry worker such as a waiter and I make the unfounded claim that you're too lazy to get a real job.  None of these statements would be remotely true and would be very hurtful if they were lobbied at you constantly.  Don't worry, I don't believe this way, but I was using these as examples only!  I know they are not true.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Think Before You Speak

The words fly out.  The letters fly from the fingers so quickly on the keyboard.  Every day we comment on so many Facebook posts or perhaps even news articles, but do you really think before you speak?  Its far too easy these days just to let the words rip, with little thought to what happens after we hit the send button.

I try hard to not speak or write before I think and yet I know I'm not perfect either.  I've learned the hard way that sometimes the innocent words that you don't think about, often do long term damage to others.  It can alter relationships of people we generally interact online only.

Do you ever stop to think though just what a person may be dealing with in their day?  They could have just learned that someone they cared deeply for, passed away.  They might have some unexpected bill hit them, leaving them wondering how they would endure.  Maybe the boss just treated them like dirt and had no compassion for them, leaving them wondering why they are spending another moment in their job.

Our words can help others and they can hurt others.  Our words, whether spoken or written can be our greatest asset or our biggest liability.  How many times have you seen someone say or tweet or post something only to have to defend those words later in life.  How many times have you seen words come back to haunt someone years later, leaving them destitute.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

We Must Learn To Become Human

Humans are a funny species at times.  Sometimes they do what is right and honorable with other people and other times, it feels like humans have all but vanished from this earth.  I try hard to not comment on all the egotistical news of the modern day, but sometimes I shake my head in amazement.

I see stories of animal abuse that make you want to cringe in ways I can't even comprehend.  I see stories of people abusing children in one form or another from actual physical and sexual abuse to thought control.

I see people preaching one thing and then doing the complete opposite of the words they have used.  It makes me remember a quote my Dad always used to say, "Don't do as I do - do as I tell you to do".  These people preach love and acceptance and kindness, but when push comes to shove, they do everything but that.  Why?  I never will understand most likely.

People get engaged in the hyped up media and politics of the current day acting as if they are the sole source of knowledge and wisdom of all places in this world.  Yet, their current wealth of information comes from news reports they see.  I think anyone could look at news reporting these days and see that it is more biased, than unbiased.  To base your view of the world on such things is like trying to stand at the surf of the ocean in the wet sand, thinking that they can stand without falling over.

Monday, August 25, 2014

My Intro As A Conversion Disorder Survivor

On the spur of the moment and a whim, I decided to try my hand at doing some YouTube videos.  I see a lot of people doing vlogs on YouTube and have thought about doing something of my own for a long time.  I didn't want my video to be about my everyday mundane life.  I wanted it to have more purpose than that.

Then I started to think about one area of life that I really am becoming interested in and that is teaching.  I caught the bug doing training on a computer project and I just love helping people learn.  In a million years, I never thought I would enjoy teaching others as much as I have.  Doing a video on YouTube gives me an way to begin doing some teaching.

The YouTube videos I plan on doing helps offer me the chance of learning more about finding my voice.  It helps me to hone my message and offer some support, encouragement, and knowledge to the world-at-large.  It gives me an outlet for my creative message and in the process, I hope it helps changes someone's life.

This particular video is my introduction as a Conversion Disorder Survivor.  I plan on doing many of these in short segments to highlight some of the things that I went through as a Conversion Disorder survivor and what I did to heal myself.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I'm Tired Of Misery

What if for today only, I drew a line in the sand?  What if for today only, I said enough is enough?  I'm tired of misery.  I'm tired of the struggle.  What if for today I said, no more!

My body has struggled physically over the past few months.  I feel it through tension in my neck, my shoulders, my arms and sometimes my legs.  I feel it in pain that travels my body like a traveling circus.  I feel it in my emotions; ready to snap at others and feeling so full of anger and frustration.

What if for today, I said no to misery.  What if I began to change how I view the current situation I am in?  I really have nothing to lose because what I am doing at the current moment is not working.

Sometimes we just have to draw a line in the sand and so no more.  I'm tired of misery.  I know that isn't easy to do as I've been practicing misery my entire life.  The misery almost seems like a nagging friend that I do not want.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Catching My Breath In A Storm

Some days I wonder.  Some days I wish the storm winds would quit blowing.  Catching my breath in a storm feels like an exercise in futility.  I'm talking about the storms of life.

It feels like the winds of a storm are howling at full force and strength.  It feels like no matter what, I can't catch my breath.  I so want to find calm waters.  I look for a place to steer my ship, but every moment another wave batters my vessel.

I keep the faith.  I stand strong in my courage and strength and my resolve.  I know that these winds will soon cease, but for now I put my full might against the helm.  I stand firm on the deck, steering the ship forward.

I long for the sun to shine and the clouds to disappear.  I long for the stars to illuminate the seas before me.  I just long for a peaceful moment on the high seas as the storms of life rage on.

Who knows when peace and calm will show up?  Who knows when things will be back to normal.  I must carry on.  I must continue to stand strong knowing that at any moment, I will rest in the tranquility of life.

Catching my breath in a storm is the thing I most desire.



Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Poverty Holds Back Abundance

The more I live in life, the more I realize how much my past dictates where I am at currently.  I am finding and learning that poverty or experiencing lack holds back abundance.  I know this is true in my own life from the experiences I went through growing up as a kid.

When I was very young and in fact for most of my life, I was in a family that had very little.  Just having food on the table was something to be thankful for and having enough to satisfy my hunger was an even bigger blessing.  Having a warm house was something I only dreamed of in my life.  Feeling loved and wanted was something that was often foreign to me.

Shortly after I was born (details are still unclear to this day), I was in the hospital and my dad had a illness or disease that was contagious.   From the way the story was told to me, my mom had to choose to be with me and visit me or my father.  She chose my father and so I was left to bond with the nurses and complete strangers.  I don't remember much of it consciously, but I can feel the affects of that decision to this day.

Yes we had a roof over our heads and most of the time I was never alone in the big country houses for very long at a time during the day.  I did have parents that took care of me and were there in many ways, but the poverty and lack that I experienced was also just as prevalent.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Are You In Love With Your Stuff?

As I continue the decluttering in my house, I'm amazed at just how much I have.  I don't try to accumulate stuff and I don't try to hoard anything, but somehow it just manages to build up in the house.  I swear the stuff breeds and multiplies! 

I would not say I'm in love with my stuff, but many may not be able to answer the same way.  So, what about you?  Are you in love with your stuff?

When I was a little kid, I remember my parents telling me how I reacted to a sermon we heard in church.  As the story goes, the minister was preaching about "throwing the garbage out the window" and he was referring to the garbage of your life.  Of course, I guess I came home and went around the house that day screaming "Throw The Garbage Out The Window".  It sounds cute, but in many ways, it was true.  Even though we didn't have much, it always seemed like we had too much stuff that wasn't worth a cent.

Today I saw a video that is an oldie but a goodie and has floated around the social media space for some time.  It is about "The Empty Pickle Jar"  If you haven't seen this video, take a moment and watch it because it depicts a very balanced way of looking at everything n our life.

When I think of stuff and how much everyone has, I only need to look at other homes in the town we live in.  At most homes, the car is sitting outside the garage and if you happen to go by the garage when the door is open, you will quickly see why.  There is so much stuff in the garage, that it begs the question, "are you in love with your stuff?"

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Chocolate Is My Stress Food

I didn't just say that did I?  Say it isn't so!  Yes, you read that title correctly that chocolate is my stress food.   I'm sorry, but I admit it.  Now pass me some chocolate!

With all funniness aside, chocolate is in fact my stress food.  When I'm stressed, it is whats for dinner!  That sounds bad doesn't it, but in many ways it is true.  Hey at least I'm being honest!

These past several weeks I have been under a lot of stress and struggling with some issues in life.  Even if I wanted to put down the chocolate, I was consuming a lot of it!  Even with a desire to cut back on how much I was consuming, I still ate it like there was no tomorrow.

Chocolate is not only my stress food, but it brings me comfort.  I have a feeling I'm not alone.  Not that I'm happy about it, but it is what it is.

I'm sure the chocolate companies know this and they make sure we as a world are never short on supply.  In fact, I've got a feeling that this healthy dark chocolate thing isn't all that its cracked up to be when it comes to the research studies.  I think there is a dark side to this, but at this point, I have no way to prove it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Does Society Enable Suicide

This subject is near and dear to my heart.  Not only have I known people who have committed suicide, but I myself have attempted it several times.  Fortunately I've made it this far in my life and made it through those moments, but it hasn't been easy.

As I'm reading about Robin Williams dying from suicide, I'm reminded of this horrible moment that way too many face.  His death puts a spotlight on it in our society, but unfortunately in a few days or weeks, society may well forget what happened.  They may even fault him in some form or another, but sometimes it seems like nothing will change.  It seems like nothing in our society will get done when it comes to suicide.  Does society enable suicide.

How does our society enable suicide?  There are many ways of course and most are oblivious to them.

First and foremost, is that society does not want to talk about suicide.  There is no fostering of a place to go for those that are struggling with this.  Yes, there are some hotlines, but how many people would know where to call if they needed to?  How many people would even think to pick up the phone?  Even with all the outreach, we are still seeing people commit suicide because they felt like they had no place to go and no one to talk to.  (See information for suicide hotline below)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Are You Ready To Heal It?

Often we come up against things in our life where they feel more difficult than we wish, but we're not ready to do anything different.  We may not be in a place where we've gone through all that we need to or were ready to move beyond it.  The question we all need to ask ourselves is "are you ready to heal it?"

Too often we want to push through what we are at because of the discomfort.  It can be very painful.  It can be very difficult to deal with and it can be overwhelming.  Sometimes we just so badly want the pains and horrible moments of life to disappear.

Yet, we may not be ready to heal it.  We may not be ready to move beyond where we are at and go the distance.  We may only be in the spot where we are beginning to notice it and align with all that it is.

There may be a negative pleasure associated with where we are at.  Often times, there is some attraction to what it is that we face, even if we are unaware or unconscious of it.  You see this displayed all the time in relationships that have gone bad.  Because of the fear of being alone and not loved, two people stay together.  This is negative pleasure.  We all do it.  It is part of being human and experiencing life through the human perspective.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Are You Hiding From Stress?

Stress takes on many shapes and sizes for many different people.  What may appear to be stress to someone, may just be another part of life.  What may seem as nothing, may be more stressful to the individual than is often realized. 

In humans and in our world we often negate the effects of stress.  We numb ourselves to it and we so efficiently hide from it, that we barely know it exists.  As humans, we are very adept at treating stress as something that is around us, but it doesn’t affect us one bit.

At one time in my life, I had everyone believing that I handled all stress in my day as I put on the “happy face”.  No one realized the daily torment I went through in my own life.  No one realized just how stressed out I was.  No one realized just how on the verge of collapse I was right before the Conversion Disorder hit in full swing.

Too many I know and see often present themselves to the world as having no stress or having everything under control.  From the happy feel good thoughts, to the downright utterance that they have no stress, I see how people I know hide this from the world.  They are masters at it just like I was.  Unfortunately as I stated above, I know first hand how life ending this can be.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Triggered By Intolerant People

Not long ago I encountered a situation that brought me trembling in my shoes.  Between the anger that surfaced, no lets make that the rage that surfaced and the humiliation I felt, life became very dull, dismal, and almost to the point I didn't care if I kept going. I was triggered by intolerant people.

These intolerant people who did what they did to me will remain nameless for now, unless it happens again or they give me some reason to no longer be silent.  The pain this caused me was so deep and severe, I wasn't sure if I could make it through it.  It lasted for what seemed like forever, all the time eating away at me like cancer.

The intolerance was pathetic and hopeless and despicable.  I realize it is their issue and they aren't enlightened enough to understand just how much their words hurt me.  However, I was hurt so deeply.  I can even sense the anger and pain in these words as I have tried to let go.  It isn't easy for me to tolerate their intolerance.

We all say things at times that we think no one hears and you might be surprised as to what actually gets relayed or shared to another person.  Even if no one physically hears the words, the energy that it puts into the universe hurts just the same.  In fact, it hurts the entire world.  Our words can do great damage.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Change To Heal

Its easy to just go with the flow and think the skies will part and the birds will fly.  Yet, in order to heal, we often need to make changes in our life and our beliefs.  Some of these changes to our beliefs will be met with resistance unlike anything we have ever attempted to do.  Yet, if we hold on to everything that continues us to live in our despair, how will we change?  How will we heal?

From the moment we are born, we are brought into a world of beliefs, opinions and teachings that we soak up at a record pace.  What our caregivers, parents, siblings and those around us do, we soak up as a sponge soaks up water.  We crave to know more about this world we have been born into and inhabit.

Unfortunately some of the things that we are taught really don't serve our life well.  Some times they are limiting to us and throughout our life, we will come to know that we must shed them if we want to discover more about our self. 

When we come upon moments in our life where healing is being held back, sometimes we have to go in and change our life from these core moments so we can heal.  Sometimes it requires us to step out in faith and change core beliefs because while that belief got us to this point in our life, it may no longer serve us going forward.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Is This Abundance Training?

One thing I've been learning about is how to change my life from the core outward.  In one area, abundance, I've learned to let go of long held beliefs and views and opinions that were holding me back.  Abundance training was not about attracting anything to me, but letting go of that which no longer served me.

Now I know that many in abundance training teach to visualize and attract things into your life.  While there is nothing wrong with knowing where you are heading and what you want, it really gives you a distorted or one sided view in my opinion.  The discovery of asking these questions is a good thing, but fixating upon it can actually hold you back.

A couple of years ago I was struggling to find any work and take care of myself financially.  Abundance was just a concept that different people tried to explain to me.  Unfortunately they explained it through their lens into life which didn't apply to me.  I floundered around looking for teaching and training that would help.  Some of these things worked and some caused more frustration.  (see What I Have Learned About Unlimited Abundance).

I finally found one program that began helping me change my life.  It was a training program that was too expensive at the time, but eventually I was able to purchase it.  While some of it doesn't apply to my own particular life, the part that really helped me the most was learning to let go.  To find myself and to find abundance for my life, I have to let go!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Are We Getting Healthier?


It is so easy these days to think that we are people who are doing everything that we can to be healthy.  In fact, the media often report it as such and with half baked research writing, they prove it to be so. Yet, I would submit to you that we are not getting any healthier.

Health care costs are rising at dramatic levels and have been doing this for several years.  However, I don't see where people are any more health than they were 10 or 20 or 50 years ago.

Yes, we take many prescriptions and over-the-counter medications to help suppress symptoms that we encounter in our life.  Then we take even more to counter the side effects of those prescriptions.  At the end of the day, the symptoms are still there, but they are suppressed.  Does that mean we are getting healthier?  If you hide a fire under a blanket, does it mean the fire is gone?

If we truly want to become more healthy, we need to discard our old way of thinking and embrace truth that we can demonstrate in our own lives.  It isn't about following a dogma or thinking happy thoughts or embracing what someone says.  It is about going in and discovering our innermost parts of our life.  This is where true healing takes place.

For more on this subject, you may want to read "Losing Focus In Healing".