Sunday, December 29, 2013

NO Place For Animal Abuse

One of the things I grew up with in my life as a kid was seeing just how animals were treated if they weren't 100% obedient.  Please note though that obedience may not mean what you think it was.  Of course, we as kids weren't treated any better.  Obedience meant you did whatever the "masters" wanted at any point in time, even if it meant one thing in one moment and something else in the next.

Time and time again I heard and witnessed the phrase "I'll Teach Them A Lesson" by members of my family.  In this post, I'm more speaking out for the animals.  If the dog or cats didn't do exactly what some member of the family thought they should do, they were disciplined and taught a lesson.

These lessons were taught in the way of the cats being hurled up into the air as they went sailing out the front door.  More severe lessons were taught by closing the cats in the basement door or drowning them in a river.    Of course there was the normal beatings that they would get in my house for just about anything.  A cat in my house didn't dare jump up on a table or counter.  That was like a major sin unto God.  Apparently God condoned this type of behavior in our house.

The dogs were not immune to the lessons either.  Shoes would be thrown at the dogs, or they would be held by the collar while they were beaten and kicked for whatever crime they committed.  Sometimes they would be locked up for a long time in the garage and tied to a chain to show them just who was boss.  Its important to note that we were not supposed to go out and see the dog until the imposed sentence was served.  I would sneak out and take the dog part of my meal and water.  Heck, the dogs would even be shot at as they ran down the road.  If all else failed, it was up to our father (the patriarch) of the family to have my younger brother go out and shoot his dog because he didn't like the dog.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Unlimited Abundance - Two Years Later

If you're reading this, you may be just as skeptical as I was about this program.  In fact, if you go back and read some of my very first blog posts on Unlimited Abundance with Christie Marie Sheldon, I wasn't exactly nice about the program and my skepticism shined through brightly.

The one thing I've learned in life is that which I most fear and reject is often the thing I need to come to terms with and understand. While I feel a little "embarrassed" about what I once wrote back in 2011, I feel it is necessary to leave  the post up on this blog so you can see how I came through my own process in Unlimited Abundance.  I feel like it is better to lay all my cards on the table, then to scrub my words later.  I always want my blog to be authentic in every way possible.  What you see is what you get!

So anyway, as many may be wondering,
  1. Is the Unlimited Abundance program with Christie Marie Sheldon worth it?  
  2. Does it really work?  
  3. Am I going to get wealthy or rich or be able to pay my bills?  
  4. Is it going to change my life?

The questions could go on and on, but I can only share with you what it has done for me in the past two years from my own personal experience.  I can't prove or disprove some of what she talks about because it is not experiences I have had.  The only thing I will share in this blog post is my personal experiences and results.  What happens for you is all up to you and what you choose to do.  I cannot make any claims for you and neither can anyone else.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Shifting Focus

Anyone who has been following this blog for sometimes knows that it isn't as active as it once was.  At one time I was writing blog posts 7 days a week.  Now my schedule doesn't always allow that or if I get the time, my mind is tired and I really can't focus on putting the words together for it.

I enjoy writing and I enjoy writing for this blog.  Its meant a lot to me and has helped me process so many things, events and experiences in life.  While I probably won't ever stop writing here, just don't expect to see the frequency with what it once was.

My interest is shifting to areas of neuroscience and helping people recover physically and mentally from somatic trauma.  I went through the paralysis of a Conversion Disorder and because of that, I see through the lens of life differently than most.  I love learning more about how the mind works and how we all process experiences and events that have come our way.  I feel like there is so much more to our biological mind than what anyone is currently aware of in this world.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Is Christmas Really About Love?

All too often we say one thing in life, but our actions depict something other than what we say.  Christmas may be very likely one of those things.  After all, if you people watch and observe for a few days, you will get a much different picture than what actually happens.

Most people claim Christmas is about love and joy and peace.  I would say that I would totally agree with that.  Yet, when we find things to disparage and put down in others and trample upon, are we really practicing love?  All you have to do is read the recent news headlines with a little objectivity to understand what I mean.

Most people claim that they give presents out of love and I believe many do.  Unfortunately, I also believe it is done out of a necessity (even if it is subconscious and we are unaware of it) to give the perfect gift.  If you don't believe me, try not buying gifts for everyone but maybe finding some small action that you can give them and see what the reaction is.  You might be surprised, and this may come with repercussions that you'd rather not have in your life.

I still go back to one big example in my family and I believe that many other families go through this, but none will admit it. 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Barely Made It To The Dentist

I had the tooth extracted the other day and boy was that not fun.  They had a heck of a time getting it to come out.  I went to another dentist (female) than the previous one a couple of years ago.  At least she is more compassionate.  At one point during the procedure, I was struggling to stay in the moment.  I knew I was getting close to passing out and was trying to focus on my breathing.

Finally I took my hands and made a time out signal and she stopped.  All the time, I was asking my angels to help me.  As soon as she stopped, I was hyperventilating but I was able to slow my own breathing down.  After a few minutes, she began again and within a couple of minutes the tooth came out and it was all over. 

Boy these things trigger me so much on so many levels from early days to the time in the hospital with the paralysis. 

Then I came home and the pain has been tough to deal with.  It wiped me out more than I expected.  I had people calling me and I was short and unhelpful because I wasn't feeling good and it hurt to talk.

The day before yesterday, I went into the deep dark place where I don't want to go and I knew I was there.  The triggers of emotions were overwhelming in this.  I started to contact a friend, but quit (all part of that spiral process for me).  So I once again asked my angels to help pull me back up.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Hiding From The Dentist

Okay, get ready, get set - where did he go?  If anyone has seen Don, please send him to the car.  His dentist appointment awaits.  Paging Don - Paging Don!  He's nowhere to be found.  Can you blame him though?  Its the dentist after all!

I don't care how many times I go through this and how many things I do, I'm as frightened of the dentist as someone would be if they were jumping out of a 747 jumbo jet with no parachute at 30,000 feet.  Get the feeling?  Now you've got an inclination of just how difficult this is for me.

I'm trying.  I am trying.  I hopefully have found a better dentist that actually cares and is compassionate unlike the last one that gave lip service to the concept.  I have tried to put some boundaries in place and only had them look at my first visit without doing any work.

While I hate medication of any type, this is the one time I will take something to help me with the anxiety.  I'd like to think I'm strong enough without, but see me hiding behind the door.  Does that prove my point?

Sunday, December 15, 2013

I'm Healed - I'm Over It!

So often people who have been through so much in life, tend to hide from it and almost act as if nothing happened.  More times than I can remember, I've basically heard from others "I'm healed and I'm over it!"  In the voice and words of the church lady, one thought usually comes to my mind - "well isn't that special".

Now, you may be thinking that I'm being a sarcastic smart you know what.  Maybe I am and maybe I'm just trying to get everyone's attention.  It isn't that I take healing lightly or think that you have to drown in the misery of your past experiences.  What I believe is as important as oxygen to our body, is that you have to be 100% honest with yourself.  This is where people fall down.

Healing is not an end point.  Healing is a journey.  Discovery about your life doesn't stop when you open one door, it only begins.  Healing happens a little bit over many moments of your life.  It is a process.  It is not an end point.  Yes, I'm repeating that but I'm doing so because most people never fully understand that its a process.